@0.
This is the public portion of *Random Thoughts*, a giant text file of quotations, stories, mini-essays, and anything else that was on my mind that I didn't have a good place to put. It's similar to the old idea of a commonplace book. You can read more about Random Thoughts in my Zettelkasten: https://zettelkasten.sorenbjornstad.com/#RandomThoughts.

I'm Soren Bjornstad, a software developer, tech thinker, writer, and information systems designer. For more about me, see https://sorenbjornstad.com.

I've been writing in Random Thoughts since October 2009, when I was a freshman in high school. You may wish to read this page from bottom to top -- that way, you'll start with the items that are most relevant in today's context.

If you found a reference to an individual entry in here somewhere else, which in my writings typically looks something like "RT 5995", you can type '#5995' as an anchor at the end of the URL to jump there. If you don't jump there, sorry, that entry isn't public (see below).

You may notice that the numbers are not in neat sequence -- that's because those missing entries are not for public consumption. I try to be conservative about what I make public, particularly when it involves quoting people who aren't public figures, so as not to risk landing unflattering information on anybody's Google search results, but in a 500,000-word document I'd be surprised if I haven't misclassified an entry or two. If I've published something you don't think should be public, please email 'zettelkasten@sorenbjornstad.com' and I'll look at taking it out.

This page is formatted in your browser using vim's ':TOhtml' command and a little bit of Python magic. It's not incredibly pretty, but I've been reading it more or less this way for 11 years and it's quite functional!

October 9, 2009
@1. This is the random thoughts document. It contains random thoughts. I have random thoughts I want to save.

@4. "In this auditorium, the acoustics are really bad, so that little 'p' means 'project.'" --Mr. Kopf, commenting on a school auditorium just before a concert
{BL #4338}

@6. I was going to go to bed early, but now I'm busy starting the random thoughts document.

@7. I just lost the game. (haha take that when you read this a year from now)! [insert evil laugh here]

@12. I wonder if I'll actually keep doing the random thoughts document.

@55. I should do my homework.

@57. "But wait! There's more fail!" --end of each page on FailBlog.org

@59. "All right, everybody. Apparently there was something that I neglected to go over with you all in the past when I was training you, and that is Purple Money. What is purple money, you may ask? Well, simply put, it's money that is purple. And just so there's no confusion, No, we do not accept purple money. Why? Because it's purple, that's why. Money is not supposed to be purple. You know how I know? Because I've seen money before. And it wasn't purple. So, from now on if anyone tries to pay with purple money (or blue, or red, or any other color that clearly does not look like normal money), apologize to the customer and tell them we simply cannot accept that money. If anyone has any questions about our purple money policies, please let me know." --Emailsfromcrazypeople.com

@71. "Server failures can happen to anyone. But backups can only happen to the competent." --User on ZDNet Talkback

@82. I got a Google Voice Account! Yay! Still available on an invite-only basis.

October 15, 2009
@102. "It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end."

@105. Got Windows 7. Don't know if my processor is 64-bit or not (and Google couldn't supply the answer for some stupid reason), so I'm not sure whether to install the 64-bit or 32-bit version. I'm also considering upgrading motherboard and processor (and maybe RAM) at the same time because product activation can get screwed up when you do that and I know I'm going to want to some time. I have enough money too, just debating when to do it. And of course, there's that nasty chance that something much better will come out right after you buy.

@131. Got back from the confirmation retreat. Kinda fun. The ping-pong table that was expected mysteriously vanished, but the pool table was still there and we had fun there. I kept all my stuff in the ceiling until Seth told me to take it down because "that rarely ends well" (but it was about time to get packed anyway!). It took me almost a day to really realize how absurd it was that all my stuff was in the ceiling, since I was on the top bunk and it seemed the most natural to get my stuff by pushing up a ceiling tile, after all.

@137. It's Friday the 13th today.

November 14, 2009
@145. I just went to Wikipedia, and I was meaning to type ".com" but I found my fingers were automatically typing ".org". For a second, I thought I had screwed up, but then realized I had corrected myself without conscious thought because I go there so much.

@146. "They say that if you play an AOL CD backwards, you hear Satanic messages. But that's nothing. If you play it forwards, it installs AOL!" --Anonymous

November 22, 2009
@149.
If you have broken
Your computer yet again
Fix it by yourself
--me

@152. I'm sitting in study hall the day before Thanksgiving with homework still to do, but I can't do it. Which brings me to...

@153. My study hall supervisor wouldn't let me go to my locker because I forgot my math book. That normally wouldn't make me mad--maybe a bit frustrated because I couldn't do my homework, but that's it, since it was, after all, my fault--except that he let someone else go earlier who had done the exact same thing. I'm pretty sure he was just frustrated that several people did it, especially since he's always let people go before.

@160. Three Microsoft engineers and three Apple engineers are taking a train to a conference together. When they go to the ticket window, the Microsoft engineers buy a ticket each, and the Apple engineers buy only one ticket among the three of them. "How are three people going to travel on one ticket?" the Microsoft engineers ask. "Watch and you'll see," say the Apple engineers. So they get on the train, and the Apple engineers squeeze into a bathroom. The train starts moving, and the conductor comes down the train, bangs on the door of the bathroom where the Apple engineers are hiding, and says, "Ticket, please!" One of the Apple engineers opens the door a crack and hands the conductor the ticket.

The Microsoft engineers are watching this and think it's a pretty good idea, so, as usual, they decide to copy it on the way back. However, this time, the Apple engineers skip buying tickets entirely. "How are three people going to travel without a ticket?" ask the Microsoft engineers. "Watch and you'll see," say the Apple engineers. So they get on the train, the Microsoft engineers go into a bathroom, and the Apple engineers go into another bathroom further down the train. Shortly after the train starts moving, one of the Apple engineers comes out of the bathroom, walks down the train, knocks on the door of the bathroom where the Microsoft engineers are hiding, and says, "Ticket, please!"

@179. "Stock up and save! Limit: one."

@180. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell." --Rinkworks.com Things People Said

@183. "Sorry, we don't sell tickets outside of the U.S....I don't care how new Mexico is, we don't sell tickets outside the U.S." --A ticket salesperson for the 1996 Olympics, on the phone with someone from New Mexico

@206. "Warning: Use this door for entering and exiting only."

@216. Speaking of words, someone made fun of me for using the word "condensation" today. But really, it is kind of scientific and sophisticated, but what else am I supposed to say?

@222. "What do you want to eat? [tNT or *?]"

February 10, 2010
@225. The conversation after I played my solo at ISSMA last year:
Judge: "Have you grown a lot lately?"

Huh?

Me: "…I…guess so."
Judge: "Well, that's not a full-size violin, is it?"
Me: "Umm, I'm…pretty sure it is."
Judge: "Well, I guess it must be a slightly smaller full-size violin than normal."

And before I played:

(Soren tunes his violin)
Judge: "Make that E a little higher."

(Although it's in tune, I do so.)

Judge: "Let me see that."

(I hand her my violin. She tunes it nearly a half-step sharp.)

Judge: "There."

(I glance at my orchestra director, who is accompanying me, and he shrugs.)

Judge: "Whenever you're ready."

My comments sheet includes the remark on Intonation: "Always make sure your E-string is in tune before playing" and a half point off.
What's worse is that this lady somehow got back judging ensembles the next year.

@227. "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they get angry, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes."

@230.
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

@249. "No shirt / No shoes / No pets / No service" --A very bad attempt at modifying a traditional statement.
{BL #5890}

@253. "The door opens! It summons insects!"

April 11, 2010
@260. Downloaded an archive of mrivan's NetHack ttyrecs. He is quite well-known for running a streak of 23 consecutive ascensions. As far as I know, he's been beaten only by Adeon with 28? ascensions in a row. I don't like his playstyle that much, but it's cool to watch.

@263. The internet is messed up. I wonder if there's something wrong with our DNS server, because it always freezes on the "looking up" stage. The strangest thing is that the internet light on the router is on.

@273. I know I'm kinda out of the groove, but I honestly don't know whether iPads are actually available for purchase yet. Some people have said they are, but I'd think I'd have heard a bit more about it if they were.

@294. Suggested Google April Fools joke: Google is going out of business.
Similar idea: Scheduled maintenance on Google tomorrow. Do all your searches today.

@297. We were taking a test on Edline (our online grading system) in the computer lab the other day. There was a sub supervising the test. I started up the computer, opened Edline, took the test, scrolled back up to the top and double-checked my answers, then hit submit. I went back to the home page of Edline, and, having nothing more to do, pulled out a book and started reading. After I had read about a page, the sub came up behind me (so I could barely even see him) and said loudly, in an I-can't-believe-you-would-try-to-pull-that-one tone, "I'm going to have to ask you to put that away." I was surprised because I hadn't seen him coming and rather confused. (As if I would be cheating by reading answers out of a novel!) I said, "Well, I'm done with the test." He walked away and said "Oh, are you?" I was actually quite annoyed that he didn't apologize.

@310. The word "writing" is on this SAT vocabulary list. That's sad.

@314. One time my mom submitted an ad to the paper and told them they could reduce it if they needed to. Instead, they cropped off the time, date, and location.

@316. "The teacher is prejudice." --a college student

@319. "Well, I know the secretary, so I'm listed as having been at every meeting this year, even though I've only been to two." --Nichi

@323. Conversations #overheard on the bus from two people who sit near me:
* "Obama has nothing to show for his presidency. All he did was pass a healthcare bill, which Bush would have done anyway."
* "There's basically no difference between Obama and McCain."
* "You know, that triangle with the square in the corner. The a squared plus b squared equals c squared thingy."

@330. Two adjacent signs on a door: "Please keep this door closed and locked at all times" and "Fire Extinguisher Inside."

@338. "There is no disk in the drive. Please insert a disk into drive \Device\Harddisk4." --Windows

@339. "Error: No error." --Freeciv
{BL #5005}

@340. "The device #UNKNOWN# is missing a driver. Please download the correct driver from the manufacturer's website." --Windows

@344. "What you need to do is go to Wal-Mart and buy a sheet, and put it over your tent to keep the water off it." --woman at a campground, as if she knows it all
We found out later that she ended up staying at a hotel that night.

@345. "I wonder where they put the pump." --me, at three years old, looking at a waterfall

@346. "All the healthcare bill is going to do is make healthcare more expensive and fine you if you don't have any. It's stupid because they took out all the socialist parts and now there are only stupid parts left." --#overheard in the Media Center

Update: At the time I thought this was funny because it sounded like total nonsense. Nearly ten years later, it's funny for a different reason: it's proven to be remarkably accurate. Go figure.

@348. "Oh look! A mommy butterfly and her babies!" --#overheard at a trailhead in the Great Smoky Mountains

@349. "WIPE HANDS ON PANTS" --posted on an out-of-order hand dryer

@350. "Do we put these in radons?" --a student asking if he should enter radian mode on his calculator

@351. "Will you stop going to sharpen your mechanical pencil?" --my study hall supervisor, very correct about one student's #excuse for going to the other side of the room to talk to his friend

@353.
Substitute Teacher: "When is this class over?"
Student: "At the 6."

(Laughter.)

Student: "What?! That's when it's over!"

@354.
Teacher: "Oops, I just erased your assignment."
Class: "Yay!"

@355. "I hate these Microsoft guys! What a rotten compiler! It only accepts 16384 local variables in a function!"
{BL #9730}

@358. "My plate was sitting on it." --my uncle, after determining the cause of his malfunctioning computer was a plate depressing his Alt key

@361. "I think God gave me more paper." --Daniel, after noticing there was more paper in his notebook than he thought he had

@362.
@@@
if (x == 0)
   return x
else
   return 0
endif
@@@

@363. "A man is rowing upstream from point A. At point B, he loses his hat. Ten minutes later, he notices the loss of his hat and immediately turns around and rows back. Exactly at point A, he overtakes his hat. What is the speed of the current?" --Yeah, and I'll keep this problem in mind if I ever need to measure the speed of a current with a hat.

@364.
Me: "Can you think of any animals that start with 'q'?"
Friend: "Quillfish."
Me: "What's that?"
Friend: "You don't know what a quillfish is?"
(Pause.)
Friend: "Wait, I think that might be a Pokemon."
(For the record, quillfish do exist.)

@368. "There are 30 students in a class. Two move. How many are there now?" --quite possibly the most ambiguous math contest problem ever

@369. We were on a family trip, and we got a flat tire. It being Sunday, and there being no shops open to fix it, we elected to drive the remaining hundred miles or so on the spare at reduced speed. The day after we arrived, my dad took the car in to see about getting a new tire.

Receptionist: "And can I have your last name, please?"
My Dad: "Bjornstad. B-J-O-R-N-S-T-ay-dee."
Receptionist: "You have a number at the end of your name?"
My Dad: "???"
He had entered "bjornst80" as the name.
{BL CB35.18}

July 12, 2010
@381. Honk if you love Jesus; text while driving if you want to meet Him.
--bumper sticker

@386. "I fell at the university!" --a child

July 19, 2010
@388. I was copying some files with my flash drive. I moved it to the other computer, opened up a file listing, and the files weren't there. I went "Whaaaaa....?" for a moment, and tried to think of what could possibly have happened. Then I noticed that there was a scrollbar, and I needed to scroll down to see the files.

@394. "NameError: name 'DEFINE' is not defined"
--Python

@398. "Huh, I forgot what I'm doing. Guess I'll just type 'ls' five times and maybe that'll help." --me

@399. "Using Linux is like driving a tank. Not everyone knows how to drive a tank, but once you learn how, holy shit, you're driving a tank! Why would you want anything else?" --commenter on Lifehacker

July 29, 2010
@400. I had a dream last night that when I noticed my birth date was a year off in Gmail and I tried to change it, it popped up a notice that said something like "Aha! You finally admit you lied!" and gave a poll about why you decided to tell them your real birth date.

@403. "My idea is full of heads." --me

@409. "How much or if you charge for the software does not matter. You can charge nothing, a penny, a dollar, or a million dollars. It's up to you, and the marketplace, so don't complain to us if nobody wants to pay a million dollars." --Richard Stallman

August 17, 2010
@411.
<casmith789> s/<kerio>*.//
<ais523> casmith789: your regex is broken
<kerio> so...
<ais523> it matches <kerio followed by any number of > signs, then one character
<kerio> <kerio>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>A
<ais523> you probably meant .* not *.
<kerio> ais523: sssssh, don't tell him
<casmith789> er, right
<zgedneil> here on #nethack we debug your insults for free

August 23, 2010
@412. School is almost upon us. Been a pretty good summer, and I'm interested to see how Anki works for me this year.

@413. Since Facebook moved the number of notifications to the title bar, it's become even easier to get distracted while you aren't on Facebook. Although it also minimizes useless tabbing to the page when there's nothing new.

@416. I was at a friend's house one day when his mom came in and told us about a scam where you are social engineered into dialing a number beginning with 809, and you're then charged an absurd amount of money. I had never heard of this before, and wanted to find out if it was really true (later on I found out that it is), so I headed to Google and started typing in "809". His mom yelled "Oh no you don't!" at me and started backspacing my search. Uhuh--because you can dial a number and get charged by searching the web.

August 30, 2010
@433. From our precalculus book: "Suppose that postage is 8 cents for the first ounce and 8 cents for each additional ounce."

I guess someone missed the memo about that being called "eight cents per ounce."

September 1, 2010
@436. Our precalculus book, like most math books, has the answers to the odd problems in the back. In one case, an odd problem gave a very similar answer to an even one, and the book fixed this problem by writing on the answer to number 29, "See number 28." (I guess they think everyone has tele-and-X-ray-vision to see the full answer key on the teacher's desk.)

@441. "Please note: Battery acid is listed below only for purposes of comparison, and should never be confused for any reason as a beverage."

@442. "I made this letter very long, because I did not have time to make it shorter." --Blaise Pascal

@445. In most classes, the usual order of work is, more or less:

1. Notes.
2. Workbook/other assignments.
3. Chapter Review pages.
4. Test.

In my health class this year:

1. Chapter Review.
2. Workbook pages.
3. Notes.
4. Test.

I'm not sure exactly what the point of the notes is by that point.

@446. Epic Laziness: In health class, I can sharpen pencils sitting down at my desk.

@450. In Soviet Russia, the game loses you.

September 4, 2010
@461. "My favorite language is called STAR. It's extremely concise. It has exactly one verb '*', which does exactly what I want at the moment." --Larry Wall

@463. "Caution: Do not install telephone wiring during a lightning storm."

September 8, 2010
@466. SOCCER NOT ALLOWED / Soccer May Only Be Played in Archery Range

@467. In English today, a repair guy was lying on the floor in the corner fixing the radiator, quietly, so nobody noticed him. Until his cell phone rang and he started talking at an absurd volume during the lesson.

@469. "While great for weekends and family reunions, Twister is not to be played in the hallways or commons area." --Mr. Doane

You know you did something awesome when a new rule is created ten minutes later.

@475. circa July 2010: Currently _Free Software Free Society_ is out of print. We are working on the second edition of the book. The new edition should be available by mid-August. Please visit our website for the new edition later. Thank you!

August 2010: The new edition should be available by mid-September.

September 2010: The new edition should be available by late November.

@480. "Your search, #, did not match any documents." --Google

@486. "Well you shouldn't build it until you're open! Idiot!" --customer, screaming

@490. "Don't try to trick me! I'm a scientist, and I know that heaters make things warm!"

@500. "Alas, with Sholes's machine and most other typewriters until the early part of the century, the type bars struck the invisible rear side of the paper, and you didn't know the bars had jammed until you pulled out the page and saw that you had typed 26 lines of uninterrupted E's instead of the Gettysburg Address."

@501. I was looking through a guide trying to fix my sound that wasn't working that told me to run a command, without explaining what it did: "cat /dev/urandom >> /dev/dsp". I figured that this would give me a nice display of the applications currently using the sound. No, instead it blasted me out of my seat with absurdly loud static from the speakers.

@503. Coming up on the one-year anniversary of the Random Thoughts document.

@504. "1 ream of elephants = 500 elephants" --an example in my chemistry notes

@506. "When in doubt, umlaut!" --a German I student's brilliant idea.
(UPDATE: Katharina argued that this was actually pretty accurate when I shared it with her!)

@507. "Theft of this container is a crime."

@508. "Stay inside if there is a threat of tornadoes or flash floods." --more brilliant advice from our health book

@509.
Mrs. Remschneider: (during a quiz, discussing her directions) "Well, if I had said, say, 'underline the titles', that would have given it away."
Me: "You just did."

@510. "If it's in stock, we have it!"

@511. "I know it's an old cliche, but you can cut the atmosphere with a cricket stump." --Murray Walker

@512. "A nickel isn't worth a dime today." --Yogi Berra

@513. "Our offense is like the pythagorean theorem: There is no answer!" --Shaquille O'Neal

@514. "Several passengers reported the event." --the close to a news story in which an airplane made a rough emergency landing, producing a shower of sparks

@519. Want a good oxymoron? Microsoft Works.

@533. "I can't belive that last message went out to all of you. Sorry, I still have the problem with the eudora email client. It sometimes addresses my personal mail to the altkeyboards group. I thought I would catch them all! It will be a couple of weeks before I can crack that problem. Looks like you may be able to read up much more on me than I want you to."

October 9, 2010
@534. Well, today's the one-year anniversary of the random thoughts document.

@535. Pong is probably the best designed shooter game in the world.  It's the only one that is made so that if you camp, you die.

@538.
<Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.

@544. "...If someone claims to have the perfect language he is either a fool or a salesman or both." --Bjarne Stroustrup, creator of C++

@555. "... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs." --Robert Firth

@562. "There are two types of people in the world: 1) those that can extrapolate from incomplete data."

@563. "The term reboot comes from the middle age (before computers). Horses who stopped in mid-stride required a boot to the rear to start again. Thus the term to rear-boot, later abbreviated into reboot."

@569. "A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform."

@572. "It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics." --Fletcher Knebel

@573. "WARNING: Do not look into laser with remaining eye!" --sign at MIT's Junior Lab

@581. "Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives." --bumper sticker

@582. "The physicist's greatest tool is his wastebasket." --Albert Einstein
{BL #8364, #11569}

@583. "I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost..."
{BL #10284}

October 28, 2010
@587. "When the grammar checker identifies an error, it suggests a correction and can even makes some changes for you." --Microsoft Word for Windows 2.0 User's Guide

@590. "The steering wheel controls the direction of the front wheels. Turn right to go right; turn left to go left." --Drive Right

@591. "Before driving...look inside the vehicle to make sure you do not have unwanted passengers." --Drive Right

@596. "If your vehicle is disabled...do not stand in the expressway to direct traffic." --Drive Right

@598. "Rabbit feet are clearly not lucky--they sure didn't work for the rabbit!"

November 2, 2010
@599. "[The 64-bit Unix time date format will cease to work] approximately 292 billion years from now, on Sunday, 4 December 292,277,026,596 CE. However, this problem is not widely regarded as a pressing issue." --Wikipedia

November 16, 2010
@602. What do you want to wield? [cAT or *?]

November 20, 2010
@603. Uncyclopedia – the content-free encyclopedia.

@605. We were watching _The Crucible_ in English class. The substitute teacher was browsing the Web on the teacher's computer. In the middle of the movie, we are suddenly interrupted by an ear-splittingly loud siren sound, caused by an ad on the computer.

@607. "I had five people in this class who decided that the Law of Cosines had sines in it." --Mrs. Brady

@609. Someone in our school's communications class decided that jumping on top of a water bottle in the middle of the computer lab would be a good idea. Water flew all over the room, and the bottle jumped out from under his feet and hit some kid in the face.

@610.
Mr. Kopf: "In C, to start the day..."

(noises that show we are clearly not playing the right thing)

Me and Students: "Oh, a scale?"
Stand Partner and Other Students: "Oh, the piece?"

@612. "It's amazingly arbitrary alliteration."

@614. "We expect that the bus will return sometime between 12 and midnight." --Mr. Doane

@617.
Mrs. Remschneider: "Mrs. Arthur in the Media Center wasn't very happy about it, because I had to snatch laptops out of the hands of students, but here they are."
Student 1: "Wait, so we're using stolen netbooks?"
Student 2: "Isn't that a felony?"
Student 3: "Carpe diem, man."

@635. "You tried and failed. The lesson here is never to try." --Homer Simpson

November 29, 2010
@645. "So, if you have a car copier, I think you should be free to copy any car. But there are no car copiers, so that really is a meaningless question." --Richard Stallman

@647. I once actually had an experience where I was working away on my computer, and it started playing a fanfare sound out of nowhere. Before I started isolating the problem, it went away. A couple of minutes later it happened again, played all the way through the 20 second file, and then disappeared inexplicably and never came back. (I recognized the sound; it was from the play I was doing sound for.)

Computers can be *weird* sometimes.

@648. We were trying to eat at the VU cafeteria during the summer, but it turned out to be only open for people in the summer camp that was currently going on. So we went to the cafe on the other side and asked "Can we eat here instead?" The lady at the counter responded, "Yes, but...you have to pay."

@650. Had to abandon a blog post I was trying to continue to write because I no longer agree with the opinion I expressed in it.

@652. A website I went to had such an annoying color scheme (blood red background, yellow text) that at first when I tabbed to it I thought it was highlighted.

@666. "The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." --Jay Leno

@670. "Artifact lances will never break (they also don't exist)." --NetHack wiki

December 14, 2010
@675. "Could you stand up and 'is' for us?" --English teacher, after a student said "is" was an action verb

@677. "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." --Douglas Adams

@680. "The banana is a great place to start. After all, 66% of banana is Na...So if you want to go about reducing the Na in banana, the best way to do it and keep everyone happy is to gradually rename it, first to the bana, and then the ba." --Part of an Internet Oracle discussion about salt (Na).

@682.
Teacher: "If you were smart, you'd study for your final. You can get a lot done in 30 minutes."
Student: "If I were smart, I wouldn't have to study!"

@684. "The notes are right, but if I listened they would be wrong." --Eugene Ormandy

@685. "Lazy Japanese Men Blamed for Falling Birth Rate" --Reuters headline

@690. A student attached a $100 bill to his exam with a note that said "A dollar per point." The next day the student received his failing exam and fifty-three dollars change.

@691. "This is a two-handed piece." --someone in church choir, on a piece with an absurd number of page turns

@695. <studdud> what the fuck is wtf

@698. Being the only one in the computer lab is just weird.

@700. "It's like the same size, except bigger."

@702. "Get one of the big small bags." --someone in my German class

@707.
Mrs. Nagel: "These are new scales, so do not break them."
Me: "But if we have old scales, we can break those?"

@708. "It would be higher than it should be because it should be higher." --me writing absent-mindedly

@711.
First Person on IRC: "What now?"
Second Person: "Pray."
First Person: "In the game or in real life?"
Second Person: "Both."

@714. Silliest argument ever for why emacs is better than vi: Richard Stallman prefers it. Yeah, you'd kind of expect that the person who was responsible for originally writing the program would like it.

@723. "I hate how people keep texting me "k". I am very rarely in the mood to talk about potassium."

@725. "The processor is a 166-GHz, single-core Intel Atom N455." --a news report, discussing a new smartphone

@749. I found this cool search engine, http://www.google.com/.
--Adeon, #nethack, in response to somebody telling us about the cool website they found that was listed in the channel topic

December 26, 2010
@757. I had a dream that I got a report card with a bunch of C's and D's on it. After being puzzled for a while, I noticed that the school had printed the line "Grades on this report card may be lower than expected due to a printing error."

@758. "I know Mouse!" --an oft-quoted (and extremely obnoxious) person who used to work with my dad

@763. Banjoewangi says "You be careful with my corpse!"

January 1, 2011
@780.
<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a fucken impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally

January 12, 2011
@783. "Location: Unknown Location (Approximate)"

January 14, 2011
@784. "Moses was the most sinful person in the Bible because he broke all ten commandments at once."

@787. "Oops, now I have staples in my nose." --me

@792. Obey gravity. It's the law!

@793. "For your convenience an elevator is located in CHINA" --A department store sign

January 19, 2010
@795. "That's not what I clicked. And I'm color-blind and I can tell that's not the color I picked..." --me

@796. It's 18 degrees and snowy and there's a guy across the street outside cutting wood planks with a circular saw.

@802. Sent to me on IRC: "Really, you should get an IRC client, like mIRC."

@803. Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

@804. A man walks into a bar, and he says "Ouch!"

@813.
< ToastyP> ]-[pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp743\
< ToastyP> heh, cat on the keyboard, sorry

@826. So earlier I wrote that it was cool to be able to be lazy and sharpen pencils right from my seat in health. This has the one disadvantage of it being possible to sit down and smash your ear on the pencil sharpener, not only causing significant pain but also making a fool out of yourself. (It was pretty funny though, to be honest.)

@832.
If "pro" is the opposite of "con", what is the opposite of Congress?
What is the opposite of the Constitution?

@834. "If you had a million years, you couldn't wipe out half the *fuck you*s in the world." --Holden Caulfield

@843. "More than the entire class was tardy today. Wait..." --Mr. Kopf

@844. Ever noticed that MACS backwards is SCAM?

@848. "One death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic." --Joseph Stalin

@853.
< irina> called me an old cunt, in fact.
< irina> I must admit that I *have* the body part in question and I'm no longer exactly young, but still.

@866. "You can't make a race horse out of a pig." /  "No, but you can make a very fast pig." --_East of Eden_
{BL #10797}

@874. Around 2001, our family got a new desktop computer from a popular computer company. We also got an inkjet printer in a sort of bundle deal. After a few weeks of flawless operation, the printer ceased working and made an odd clicking sound whenever a document was sent to it. We called customer support for help.

The customer support associate went through an idiotic troubleshooting checklist ("Is the printer plugged into the wall?" and so forth) and then had us check the device manager and reinstall the printer drivers. I told him it did not appear to be a software problem, because the printer was making odd noises, which indicated a mechanical failure of some kind. After an hour long session of troubleshooting, we were advised to box up the computer and printer and send it to their repair center. Yes, not just the printer but the computer as well.

They asked if we had any files on the hard drive that we'd like to save. We told them which files and folders to save for us. Finally we got the computer back and a new printer. The computer had been wiped and the operating system reinstalled, and we got our data files on a CD.

The problem? A cheeto had fallen into the printer and jammed it. They sent the cheeto back in a small plastic bag. The printer was covered by the warranty, but the CD backup was not, so they charged us $100 for it.
--Computer Stupidities

@877.
@@@
public int convertItoi(Integer v)
{
    if (v.intValue()==1) return 1;
    if (v.intValue()==2) return 2;
    if (v.intValue()==3) return 3;
    if (v.intValue()==4) return 4;
    if (v.intValue()==5) return 5;
    if (v.intValue()==6) return 6;
    if (v.intValue()==7) return 7;
    return 0;
}
@@@

@878. "The instrument for the current weather is called a window." --a weather forecasting guide

@880. "SPLS LASER BUS CAR" --my Staples receipt
This sounds a lot cooler than it actually was--it was just a pack of business cards.
{BL #8034}

@881. "Any time that the EPIRB is not on the vessel, it should be switched off. This avoids the embarrassing experience of having SAR forces converge on the trunk of your car." --NOAA Emergency Beacon Guide

March 10, 2011
@891. A novice of the temple once approached the Chief Priest with a question. "Master, does Emacs have the Buddha nature?" the novice asked. The Chief Priest had been in the temple for many years and could be relied upon to know these things. He thought for several minutes before replying, "I don't see why not. It's got bloody well everything else."

@899. "Eat Fat Markers And Fried comforters Bad Monster!" --Soren Composition.doc

@902. "The page you were looking for is not here. Clearly, this is because you have damaged the inter-net. At great expense, we have placed the broken pieces in an archive so that you can mend the damage you caused." --The Onion's 404 page

@903. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email."

@906.
First Commenter: "How much worse can this president [Obama] get? :-("
Second Commenter: "He could order illegal warrantless wiretaps, illegal torture of prisoners of war, pointless invasions of foreign nations and involving the US in unwinnable wars..."

@907. < ais523> well, I suspect we'll have to drop the xorn corpse
{BL #6067}

@908.
< scorchgeek> !genocide stupidity
< Rodney> A thunderous voice booms through the caverns: "No, mortal, that shall not be done!"
< scorchgeek> aww

@910.
< clemux> Pepe: g+direction
< clemux> more conservative than ctrl
< Pepe> What the heck is a g
< ChrisS67> it's a letter
< clemux> lol
< scorchgeek> XD
< ChrisS67> comes after f

@917. "STOP TAKING POP-TARTS! WER'E [sic] WATCHING YOU!" --sign in the VHS cafeteria

@925. As you kick the door, it shatters to pieces! You feel that monsters are aware of your presence.

@930.
Shall I pull this patch? (1/9)  [ynWsfvplxdaqjk]
...that enough options for you?

@935. "'Considered Harmful' Essays Considered Harmful" --essay title

@936. "There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses."

@946. "What is the best thing to do when you become a victim of road rage? D. Pull in front of them and then drive very slowly."
--online driving course

@948. #ironyoftheday: Found a piece of homework from the beginning of last year that includes the line "I will avoid tossing stuff all over the place" behind the shelf in my room.

@949.
You hear a horn being played. The bolt of fire hits you! You start playing your fire horn. In what direction? You kill it!
< scorchgeek> FIRE HORN BATTLE!

@954. "Do not use near fire or flame." --warning label on a lighter

@955. "I guess we should have asked the Americans what they wanted for our grammar!" --Frau Houldieson

@956. "Go to page 507 and read that page, because I didn't want to take notes on it." --part of a student-produced lesson I did in my World History class

@957. "I forgot to buy you a flower. Here, have a dollar!" --a friend

@958. So I was thinking about this brand of violin case, 'Bam', and joking that the name comes from the sound it makes when you get mad at it and smack it against the wall.

@962. "Why is 4chan blocked?" --student at VHS; when I asked him why he was surprised, he said "How would the school know about 4chan?"

@963. "A correct answer with no indication of the method used will normally receive no marks. You are therefore advised to show your working." --IB Math Test

@969. "A right turn at a red light is permitted unless: C. There is a sign saying TURN ON RED ARROW ONLY." --online driving course

@972. "The MythBusters agreed that putting a grenade in the refrigerator was not a good idea." --Wikipedia article, #unusualsentences

@988. "If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless." --T-shirt

@989. "Es ist pretty good." --John

@990. "...convicted of having provided the defenders of the country with sour wine, condemned and executed the same day." --a log of executions during the French Revolution's Reign of Terror

@993. "We can get by with less light. Save a tree." (pause) "What's light got to do with trees? Well, nothing. Save a polar bear, that's it." --Doc Boyle (who I have for study hall) on the occasion of being requested to turn off unnecessary lights for Earth Day

@994. "Would you please initial that right there indicating you appreciate the severity of your offense and you sincerely promise never to let this happen again?" --Doc Boyle, anytime someone comes in tardy, repeated verbatim every time

@996. "Does anyone have a bologna sandwich?" --Doc Boyle, frequently before asking for people with hall passes for the hour of the study hall to present them

@1004. So one of the things we're supposed to say in our conclusion is whether we think about the topic of our paper differently now. However, we're not allowed to use "I".

April 26, 2011
@1015. "The metronome is rushing!" --me
{BL #6640}

@1021. "But seriously, show me a significant Word macro virus later than 2003 and I'll print it out and eat the paper." --Ed Bott

@1034. "Counting" --the title of a section in my pre-cal book

@1036. "For the second one, pick an activity that you like (and it does have to be school appropriate)" --Mrs. Nagel

@1038. "These packages do not exist..." --Aptitude's description of what a "virtual package" is

@1051. Latest insane driving: We were down at WiseWay on Highway 30. We were backing out of a parking spot. As I'm looking behind me to make sure it's safe to back out, I see a guy come down the road on the edge of the parking lot and hit one of the big stop signs on those little yellow islands in the middle of the road head-on, moving it about six feet forward but not damaging his car visibly. He didn't stop. He didn't go tell someone he hit the stop sign. He didn't get out and move the sign back to where it was supposed to go. He just backed up, drove around it, and parked.

May 8, 2011
@1056. Three things in life are certain: death, taxes, and data loss.

@1057. "I apologize for any typo's in the article."

@1059. "...But Mattel went further, including a cleverly placed Reset key that users could accidentally strike while programming, wiping out hours of work."

@1061. Man, I hate the new Uni-Ball Vision (still the most awesome pens in the world) green color. It's not terrible (though it's not my favorite in the new set), but the old color was totally awesome and the new one just sucks by comparison. Makes me want to travel back in time and buy a big stash of the old ones.

@1071. In 6th grade, we got a new grading system. This caused a number of problems. First, in some classes where we didn't actually have a grade assigned to us yet, a grade got printed out on the midterm anyway. The computer just picked a random one--so some people got an F in Home Ec, for instance, when we were two days into the class. Then, when teacher comments first appeared, a bug caused the comment "Excellent Student" to appear on the report card as "Excessive Talking."

May 16, 2011
@1075. You pull the pit viper out of the pit. The pit viper falls into a pit!  How pitiful.  Isn't that the pits?

@1079. Three days ago I ordered a cool barometer. Today I received a box filled with broken glass, needles, and bits of wood.

@1080. "kohlrabi wheels" gives no results on Google.

@1081. "Well, whenever I use Windows I am convinced of the absence of a just and loving God." --Slashdot commenter

@1085. "A regular 2147483648-gon is constructible with straightedge and compass." --Wolfram|Alpha

@1086. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is definitely not for you.

@1087. "Trump Unable to Produce Certificate Proving He's Not a Festering Pile of Shit" --Onion headline

@1091. Really freaky: Go to a random Wikipedia page, and repeatedly click on the first link on each page that is not in parentheses, italics, or in a box. You will eventually reach "Philosophy" in all but a few cases where you land in an infinite loop.

May 28, 2011
@1098.
< Drjebus> what happens when you guys press F4 while holding ALT?
< Nomiisama> Drjebus: my cat just blew up

@1099.
<blackcustard> the wakasashi is a special sword carried by real samurai in their off hand. they used it for forcing chests in between battles.

@1101. "My mom misspoke while serving green beans and we thought she was talking about 9/11." --an excerpt from my dream journal

@1102. You kick the Wizard of Yendor.  You kill the poor Wizard of Yendor! Welcome to experience level 2. You hear the rumble of distant thunder...

@1106.
< Adeon> i think laptop is a better os than pc!!

@1115. I've determined there are three types of classes as finals approach:
1. "We have time to review now!"
2. "Let's waste time and watch a pointless movie or something!"
3. "OH CRAP WE DIDN'T GET THROUGH EVERYTHING, LET'S CONDENSE HALF A SEMESTER INTO A WEEK!"

@1120. "Security Service Accidentally Makes Websites 60% Faster" --Slashdot headline

@1121. "Man Invents Open-Source Flashlight" --another Slashdot headline

@1161. "New Study Shows People With Panic Disorders Respond Poorly To Being Locked In Underwater Elevators" --Onion headline

@1169. "Alert: This piece has B flats *and* E naturals." --_Essential Elements Book 2_

@1172. There is a pair of combat boots here; eat it? [ynq] (n)

@1174. Congress Continues Debate Over Whether Or Not Nation Should Be Economically Ruined

July 21, 2011
@1196.
"Please activate your card *immediately* by calling: [number]. To activate your card, you will need your PIN."

On the next sheet of paper:
"Your PIN should arrive in the mail separately within 5 to 7 days."

@1198. "And guns and swords and unicorns were scattered on the ground." --#mondegreen in Paul Simon's 'Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream'; of course it's 'uniforms'.

@1199. So I was premiering Dennis Friesen-Carper's _The Innocents_ in 6th grade. I was sitting up in the front of the Chapel of the Resurrection with five other soloists, with about 3,000 people ready. The performance was going to start in five minutes. He leans over to us and says, "Oh no! Where's my score?"

@1206. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

@1260. "Streets flooded. Please advise." --Robert Benchley, reporter, in a telegram to his editor, upon arriving in Venice

@1278. "WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD: Small parts. Not for children under 3 years." --On an Amazon page for a Linksys wireless router.

@1279.
<danirijeka> !grepsrc *would_you_mind_lighting_me_a_cigarette*
<Rodney> Sorry, no matches.

@1291. Two guys walk into a bar. The first guy, thinking himself clever, asks for some "H2O." The second guy, trying to imitate his clever friend, says, "I'll have some H2O, too." The second guy died.

@1293. "The capital of England is Britain." --me #ankiblunders

@1294. "I can't break this pencil in annoyance, it's the only one I have." --me

@1297.
<irina> are geckos shock resistant?

@1298. "Okay, _you_ write this without repeating the code."
--NetHack 3.4.3, read.c, line 1237

@1305. "At one time I'm walking at 10 meters/second that way..." --Mr. Hefner

@1313. "When I say 1, 2, 3, you clap three times. So if I were to say 'uno, dos, tres,' you would clap three times...in Spanish." --Mr. Hefner

@1319. "Two significant fidgets." --Mr. Hefner

@1320. "Physics is complicated enough without you screwing it up." --Mr. Hefner

@1325. "Dort are many objects here." --an incomplete German translation of a game

@1326. Dein Excalibur glow blaues for a while.

@1327. SATZBEGINN MODIFIER_KONJUNKTIV_II VERB_MOEGEN SUBJECT_IM_SATZ PRONOMEN_PERSONAL OBJECT PRONOMEN_POSSESSIV NOUN_HABE identifiziert haben? [jnq] (n)

@1333. "Yesterday we were dropping the masses. And the masses fell." --Mr. Hefner

@1338. "Math or APUSH? Math is more important. If I don't get my APUSH done, it isn't the end of the world. If I don't get my math done, it is the end of the world. Well, at least the end of the world as we know it." --me

@1344. "That damned physics, it makes no sense." --Mr. Hefner

@1349. "Tell her thank you from the bottom of my...deepest shoes." --Mr. Hefner, to a student aide bringing him a note from another teacher

@1353. "You will need your student idea to purchase tickets." --Mr. Doane
{BL PC Doane, #1353}

@1354. "The first concern is the people, because if something happens to you I have to fill out a bunch of paperwork, and that's a pain." --Mrs. Bailey

@1355. "What period is this?" --a student, 5 weeks after the beginning of school

@1359.
< scorchgeek> !genocide paxed
< Rodney> Sent in some paxed.
-!- paxed [~paxed@pdpc/supporter/active/paxed] has joined #nethack

@1360. "I forgot to wear purple yesterday to raise awareness for Alzheimer's." --Mr. Kopf

@1370. This quote perfectly sums up my bus: "I'm losing my innocence on this fucking bus!"

@1375. "Is 'uh, no' going to be on your test on Monday? Uh, no." --Mr. Hefner

@1384. "Surely your business and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life."

@1389. We're having brunch at Pikk's downtown. My dad tries to order a drink.

Waitress: "I'm sorry, we don't have the ingredients for that right now."
My Dad: "Okay, I'll have a ginger beer then."
Waitress: "I'm sorry, we're out of ginger beer."
My Dad: "Okay, I'll have a root beer then."

She takes that and heads out. She has to come back to confirm his order. Five minutes later, she's back again.

Waitress: "I'm sorry, we're all out of root beer."
My Dad: "Okay, how about the limeade then?"
Waitress: "Sorry, we're out of limeade too."
My Dad: "How about a lemonade?"
Waitress: "All right, we have that!"

@1391. FUNNY EXCERPTS FROM THE VALPARAISO HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT HANDBOOK:
While rather boring, the rules in the front of the student handbook have a few gems. I've included page numbers if you have yours and want to see for yourself.

#10: Bus Transportation Regulations (p. 8): "Pupils should not throw rocks, snowballs, or any other material at the school buses before entering or after alighting from buses."
(Really guys?)

#9: Sales (p. 18): "Students who accept items to sell for the purpose of gaining revenue for a school organization are responsible for returning the items or the monetary value of them."
(Why should I have to give the school the money I got from selling school property?)

#8: Skateboards: (p. 18): "Therefore, skateboards and roller blades should not be brought to school without the prior consent of the principal..."
(I wonder what kind of excuse you need to give Mr. Doane to bring a skateboard in.)

#7: Work Permits And Attendance (p. 20): "A work permit will not be issued to a student who, in the opinion of the administration, is excessively absent from school..."
(Because that's such a subjective thing.)

#6: Electronic Devices (p. 11): "If these [electronic] devices are used or visible during class time or disrupt the educational process, the student may face disciplinary consequences. Violation of this policy can result in discipline up to an [sic] including suspension or expulsion and notification of law enforcement authorities."
(I wish I could arrest people whose phone rang while I was presenting.)

#5: Bus Transportation Regulations (p. 8): "Pupils shall not enter or leave the bus until it has come to a full stop and the driver has opened the door."
(What!? No climbing out the window of a moving school bus?)

#4: School Related Events (p. 37): "There shall be no peculiar or unusual conduct permitted during the event."

#3: Driving And Parking (p. 10): "Once students enter the parking lot, the car is to be parked."
(There are many other things I like to do in parking lots, like driving around aimlessly in circles and going back out in order to come in again.)

#2: School Closings (p. 18): "School is seldom closed for inclement weather."
(In your dreams, Dr. Melin.)

#1: Student Discipline Infractions (p. 46): "[Student discipline infractions include] throwing or propelling any object. Permitted athletic activities shall not constitute a violation of this provision."

@1393. GOLDEN RULES FOR ENSEMBLE PLAYING (by J.W. Swing)
1. Everyone should play the same piece.
2. Stop at every repeat sign and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat or not. The audience will love this a lot!
3. If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your partners.
4. Keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the others.
5. Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.
6. Take your time turning pages.
7. The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice versa).
8. If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.
9. Strive to get the maximum NPS (note per second). That way you gain the admiration of the incompetent.
10. Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to embellish the score.
11. If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed it up. Everything will work itself out in the end.
12. If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune."
13. Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs.
14. If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.
15. A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one note of the original.
16. When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any notes you have left.
17. A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation.

@1396. "You can fix the problem by changing your template to double quotes, but please don't do that, as I will hopefully fix this in the next beta and testing would be helpful." --Damien

@1397.
Frau Houldieson: "What are you doing with your calculator?"
Student: "I dunno...turning it on."

@1399. "What's better for you than cheese? Fried cheese!" --Mr. Hefner

@1404. "If you build something to be idiot-proof, someone will make a better idiot."
{BL #10740}

@1410. "There is a God, and he uses units." --Mr. Hefner

October 25, 2011
@1412.
Frau Houldieson: "What are you drinking?"
Student: (looking guilty) "Hot water."
Frau Houldieson: "Hot water?"
Student: "...With tea in it."

@1427. "Obama Now Attempting To Get Each Word Of Jobs Bill Passed Individually" --Onion headline

@1429. "You're a terrible musician...magician." --student

@1436. "I see no good reasons why the views given in this volume should shock the religious sensibilities of anyone." --Charles Darwin, _The Origin Of Species_, 1869

@1439. Today is 11/11/11. I caught 11:11:11 too. Yay. First and last time in the century, and almost certainly in my life too.

@1441. "Over and done for. As I say. I can't say 'they say,' because nobody does." --me
{BL CB23.32, CB49.64}

@1451. "Can this get you out of a Saturday class?" --student asking about volunteering at the speech and debate tournament

@1461. "It was a pillable fee-dee-eff." --me

@1462. "Yeah, it says 'Bring Coat.' So bring a coat." --Mr. Hefner

@1463. "I like complaining about stuff I can control but don't." --Mr. Hefner

@1474. "This salt is too salty!"

@1475. "You set that deck's new cards per day to 20000000000000000, which is too big for AnkiMobile to handle." --Damien Elmes, on someone's malfunctioning Anki deck #ankiforums

@1476. "You know what sucks? I can't email things to myself, because Macs can't intercept it." --a 6th grader in my Compute This event

@1478. "The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance." --Robert R. Coveyou

@1479. "Vi is a good example of software deliberately created for a user who already knows how it works: It's not unheard of for new users to reboot their computers because they couldn't figure out how else to get out of vi."

@1482. <+ais523> there are so many bugs, at least one's bound to be a security bug

@1483. <+ais523> presumably, the reason the issues link isn't working is that the issues link isn't working so nobody could report that the issues link wasn't working

@1484. < ishanyx> bleh. i'm tired and my eyes hurt (since even before i spent five hours playing nethack on a too-small terminal)

@1492. "In a fight between you and the world, bet on the world." --Kafka

@1495. "Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens, and then everybody disagrees." --Boris Marshalov, Russian visitor to DC

@1497. Instructions for opening an early tin can: "Cut round the top with a chisel and hammer."

@1498. "Help! We had an image come in that needs to be published, but it's upside down! Can we still use it?"

@1504. "Please make the video between 60 seconds and 1 minute."

@1518. "hey got you're message, try using spelcheck next time and check you're grammer okay bud?"

@1545. "How do you spell HTML?"

@1573. "Can you please rotate the logo 360 degrees?"

@1574. "Can you green it down 10%?"

January 13, 2012
@1575.
(The school district has recently made news for having some accounting mistakes that have caused a large amount of money to disappear without a trace.)
Mr. Doane: "Will the student with the Viking Nation receipt box please come to the office as soon as possible?"
Me: "So *that's* where our 3 million dollars went!"

@1576. "There will be no talking during the quiz. Any talking during the quiz will be considered cheating, take your paper away and give you a zero, no looking off anyone else's paper, chances are the person next to you's no brighter than you are anyway." --Mr. Hefner's shot at Doc Boyle's verbatim mantra, every time we have a quiz, and spoken really, really fast

@1580. "It wouldn't matter if I launched that quarter at a *billion* meters per second...well, it would, it would leave the gravitational pull of the earth." --Mr. Hefner

@1581.
Mrs. Stoltzfus: "If you have ICF on your paper, then that means--"
Elyse: "--Incompetent Fool."

@1582. "I know, 'facial tissue.' As opposed to 'ass tissue' or something." --Mr. Hefner

@1584. "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is." --Bill Clinton

@1594. "Fraudenscheude." --Mr. Kopf

@1602. "Do the means justify the ends?" --Mrs. Stoltzfus
{BL CB48.29 n.1}

@1603. "Can you name a country that starts with the letter 'u'?" / "Europe?"
{BL #4324}

@1610. We had a sub in APUSH recently. First she didn't believe that the word bank was simply missing from the quiz (this was our eighteenth vocab quiz of the exact same format, and we've always had a word bank) and didn't let us put it up, thus wasting massive amounts of time. After the vocab quiz, which should have taken about ten minutes but instead took forty, we started trying to watch a video about Pearl Harbor, it being December 7th. Instead the VCR came on to a video of cat birthing. (It must have been at the end of the tape before whatever else was on it started being taped. Mr. G said he got it from a student, so who knows where that tape has been.) We watched this twice after she rewound and started playing it AGAIN. (She complained and was saying "this is weird" the whole time but never actually stopped it.) When we finally managed to get the video going (it was in fact a DVD, not a VHS tape), it came on to a sex scene instead of actual footage of the attack, and she once again complained and was like "this is awkward" but didn't change it, nor did she fast forward to the appropriate scene.

Basically, we had to redo the entire class period the next day.

@1628.
< bcode> ... 10+3 != 13...
< scorchgeek> bcode: um, yes it is
{BL #2724}

@1642. "The light that comes off a smooth surface is called a sensual reflection." --answer on a physics vocab quiz

@1647.
Daniel: (after we take a large and completely unnecessary detour) "Why did you go this way?"
Me: "I dunno, I was just following you."
Him: "Oh, I was just following you."

@1651. "...because you thought you knew what you knew. But you didn't know what you didn't know....Brilliant! That's why they call me the teacher." --Mr. Hefner

@1653. "...that feels more like WYSIWYGPALOES (what you see is what you get, plus a lot of extra shit)." --Lifehacker commenter, on Dreamweaver

@1655. Dream quote of the month: "Why is my sandwich a shoe?"

@1656.
Sabrina: "Hey, I wore that shirt yesterday!"
Me: "Thank you! ... That wasn't the right response, was it?"

@1657. "Salutations, scorchgeek50!  Welcome again to Akureyri's general store! Will you please leave your soul outside?"

@1661. One of the bathrooms at the high school is blocked off with a large panel with a sign reading "Out of Order" on it. Underneath a second sheet of paper is attached with the hand-written clarification "Keep Out."

@1662. A sign on the timpani case that was in orchestra yesterday: "No Books on Timpani"

@1664. "See you tomorrow! Hang onto your receipt!" --as a customer leaves with an item the salesperson knows will not work

March 13, 2012
@1666. "If someone's face is compromised from a database, they cannot cancel or reissue it." --thanks Wikipedia

@1667. lp0 on fire

@1672. "Do you think I could add a MIDI file to fix that?"

@1680. "I'll *become* a Muslim for three extra credit points!" --APUSH student, on learning we would get extra credit for attending the Muslim Student Association's question-and-answer session

@1681. "Because it's not done by chapters, and I got it...illegally..." --Mr. G, trying to explain why he was having to rewind a DVD

@1683. "Do Drugs" --message on an anti-drug pencil after sharpening it

@1688. "...but we have no musical instrument, and anyway no usable hands to play it with (musical instruments are typically not designed to be played by bees)." --ais523, TAS explanation

@1690. "What do you think you purchase from the *power* company?" / "...Power?" / "And you'd be wrong." --Mr. Hefner

@1691. "You're the secretary. I need minutes from yesterday." / "What are minutes?"

@1692. In the Media Center in the morning, we enjoy changing the names on the bookmarks bar on a regular basis. Which brought someone to have to ask one morning, "Which one is Google again? 'Crash Mainframe'?"

@1697. "Sony Releases New Stupid Piece of Shit that Doesn't Fucking Work"

@1699. "You can't even put one and one together the way you're going." --me

April 18, 2012
@1701. Prank idea: Make a train so long that you can drive it around a loop and then couple the engine to the last car and make a never-ending train.

People drive up to the crossing, go "this is a long train," then "why the heck is there an engine in the middle of the train?" I wonder how long it would take them to figure it out.

@1702. I'm pretty sure that fighting saurians in Battle for Wesnoth is my number-one cause of swearing while using the computer. (See also http://xkcd.com/290/.)

@1704. On a tape from when I was about six:
My Dad: "So...you knew them [your otters] even before you were born?"
Me: "Yes."
My Dad: "What place was that?"
Me: (very matter-of-factly) "In Washington."

@1705. Started out the day by pouring orange juice on my cereal. Not a very good omen.

@1706. A timer went off in the kitchen, and my dad went in to turn it off. He picked up the timer and started punching the start button angrily--no matter how many times he hit it, it would not switch off. I got up from the table to help him figure it out and maybe take it away and remove the battery (it was getting quite annoying). Then he realized that there were two of the same timer on the counter and he was pressing the stop button on the wrong one.

@1707. s/keyboard/leopard/:
* "Interpreter Leopard Toolbar"
* "Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Leopard"
* "Then type a simple passage for several minutes to determine if you can outpace the leopard when typing familiar words and letter combinations."

@1708. "Do not drop, disassemble, microwave, burn, or paint iPod Touch."

@1717.
<Adeon> why do you think I play un rather than vanilla or acehack
<kerio> Adeon: because you suck

@1721. "Believe you can, believe you can't; either way, you're right." --Henry Ford

@1724. "Do you know what's worse than the mysterious force? The Holocaust."

@1725. "Did you see your elbow in the paper?" --Mr. Kopf

June 3, 2012
@1726. "Justin called me 'Darnit.'" --first-grader at Montessori school, to a teacher

@1742. I just thought of an asshole idea: set $EDITOR to rm.

@1744. Searched for "dvorak keyboard" on the VU Galileo library catalog.
-> "Did you mean 'dork keyboard?'"

August 5, 2012
@1747. "Aim for heaven and you will get the earth thrown in." --C.S. Lewis

@1752. "'Ice is food.' No it's not." --my dad, reading from a package of ice
{BL #9667, #10537}

@1754. "I hope we don't have to sing when we cant."

@1756. I saw an eighth-grader at a student union computer toggling the capslock on and off every time he wanted a capital letter.

@1762. "God bless Bach. He wrote a lot of these." --Dr. Aspaas, after the cantata orchestra asked about some odd notes

@1765. "Sometimes, we take our dishes with us when we go out of the cafeteria." --me #sometimeswe

@1766. "I'm going to change 'usual' to 'official.' Because it's not usual, but it is official." --me

@1767. "Progression is not proclamation nor palaver. It is not pretense nor play on prejudice. It is not personal pronouns, nor perennial pronouncement. It is not the perturbation of a people passion-wrought, nor a promise proposed." --Warren G. Harding

@1770. This is brilliant (MIT ITS system):
"To deal with a rash of incidents where users sought out flaws in the system in order to crash it, a novel approach was taken. A command was implemented which anyone could run which caused the system to crash, which took away all the fun and challenge of doing so. It did, however, broadcast a message to say who was doing it."

@1771. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Don't_stuff_beans_up_your_nose

@1772. "So... does this mean that deleting data from Amazon Simple Storage is called an ASS-wipe?" --slashdot comment

@1775. "I don't wash clothes." --#overheard in the hallway

@1779. Our new physics book has a chart of metric prefixes and their pronunciations. Here's one:
kilo (as in kilowatt)

@1781.
Eli told me a story about a student who'd thrown a paper airplane labeled "Stealth Bomber" in class.
Teacher: "Who threw that airplane?!"
Student: "What airplane?"

@1785. "I don't have time to play you all the music in the world." --Mr. Kopf, beginning of music theory

@1786. "In case you're wondering why we've been circling for 30 minutes, our landing gear won't go down. We're not 100% sure of this, however, so we're gonna fly over the airport and have someone with binoculars check." --The Oatmeal, "The Scariest Thing I've Ever Heard on an Airplane" (true story, supposedly)

@1788. "Sorry. That was *totally* your fault, though." --me, to someone I ran into in the hall

@1789. "We will be interrogating in the parking lot." --#mishearing of "tailgating"

@1793. "Piss-keys." --John's pronunciation of "Pisces"

@1794. "We are going to be using the cars of others." --Mr. Hefner

@1798. There's a floppy disk on the floor!

@1802. "As far as I know, the only reason we need to sleep that is really, really solid is because we get sleepy."

@1804. "We have to do all the parts of speech, like personification and irony." --#overheard in the hallway

@1805. For many years the UNIX mail program 'sendmail' contained this bug: when mail was delivered from another system, the mail program was (of course) being run non-interactively. If the destination address was local, but referred to a user name not found in the local password file, the message sent back to the originator of the email was the announcement that the person they were attempting to communicate with was not a typewriter.

@1806. "Due tomorrow? Do tomorrow." --student teacher

@1811. "No need to look for a three-legged cat here." --Treviranus, _Labyrinths_ (77)
{BL _Don Quixote_ I.XXII, p.170}

@1813. "Studied 377 cards in -25 days today." --Anki (reported on the forum) #ankiforums

@1817. In Apex's settings panel, you have to get your teacher's permission/assistance to change your name, but you can change your own gender.

@1819. "Viewing the laser output with certain optical instruments (for example...microscopes) within a distance of 100mm may pose an eye hazard." --Logitech Marble Mouse "Important Information" booklet

@1820. "Enjoy basic trackball functions, such as left- and right-button click." --same device's "Quick Start" booklet

@1821. "Never be a slave to the rules in real life. For training purposes you need to follow these rules to make your mind strong, but in real life sometimes these rules are just stupid. If you think a rule is stupid, try not using it." --Learn Python the Hard Way

@1823. Sign on the VHS bookstore window: "Out of Compasses"

This confused the heck out of me, at first because I had expected it to say something mundane like "out of order" or "out of the office," then because my first thought was of magnetic compasses and I wondered why the bookstore had them.

@1827. The door handle on the orchestra room was fixed (it's been broken for years). As a result, you now have to actually turn the handle before pulling on it, so Mr. Kopf made a sign that said "turn door handle to open." That got laughs (duh, you turn the door handle to open the door) and people didn't turn it far enough, so he replaced it with "turn door handle 90° to open." But that wasn't strictly accurate (it was only about 60° by eye), and people started complaining about that. I actually did get confused and tried to turn it further than it went, so it wasn't entirely silly. So he got out a *protractor* and measured it. The resultant sign? "Turn door handle 51° to open."

@1833. "It wasn't premeditated, so he didn't even do it--I mean, plan to do it." --#overheard in the hallway

@1836. "Not to say your idea is a bad one, but it is." --me

@1837. "A time capsule allowed Frank to travel anywhere in the cosmos." --on the side of a milk carton

@1838. "Press [2nd] [Enter] again and the LinReg(a+bx) L1, L2, Y1 magically reappears." --Apex study guide, on using the completely-ordinary last-entry function on a TI-84 calculator

@1839. "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." --Yogi Berra

@1843. "Thanks, and here's a screencast." --#ankiforums post subject

@1844. Wrote something about what Random Thoughts is at the top of the document. I think I'm going to try to publish it somewhere or somehow. Not sure if anyone will want to read it, but maybe they will, who knows.

@1845. Mulla Nasrudin used to stand in the street on market-days, to be pointed out as an idiot. No matter how often people offered him a large and a small coin, he always chose the smaller piece.

One day a kindly man said to him: "Mulla, you should take the bigger coin. Then you will have more money and people will no longer be able to make a laughing-stock of you."

"That might be true," said Nasrudin, "but if I always take the larger, people will stop offering me money to prove that I am more idiotic than they are. Then I would have no money at all."

@1846. "This app has the most complicated user interface you wil ever find. You were warned!" --Singularity Experience

September 30, 2012
@1847. "Pssh, that's all right. I wash my face in Tennessee." --me, in a dream

@1852. "How to Forge a University Degree"

October 1, 2012
@1853. We were passing out poetry books in English today and reading the numbers off to the teacher. Two people said "51." No, it wasn't a mistake--there were *two* book 51's. (We changed one of them to "51b".)

@1857. "Every paycheck I'm gonna save 50% and keep 50%." --#overheard outside the school

@1858. "Never answer an anonymous letter." --Yogi Berra

@1860. "I should print out some addendas." --me

October 2, 2012
@1861. So I had an idea in #hypnagogia that actually remains funny the morning after: If you have a really bad sitcom, it's a "shitcom."

@1862. "Please inform or shut off if you are administering the net?" --#ankiforums support email sent to Damien

@1863. "Grant me encryption." --#mondegreen that I still haven't worked out

October 3, 2012
@1864. "A. All of the above" --choice on an Apex test

@1867. "Cutting PBS support to help balance the Federal budget is like deleting text files to make room on your 500 GB hard drive." --Neil deGrasse Tyson, Twitter

@1868. "The thing is, women don't have a need to make sex." --#overheard on the bus

@1872. Sometime I want to try to get a really low score on a practice SAT (on purpose).

UPDATE: Done. Got my 600.

@1876. "All I know is that force equals mass times acceleration." --Gabe, before a physics test on a confusing unit

@1877. This is the worst #excuse for not being prepared for class that I've heard in quite a long time:
"[I don't have my book because] I went to the wrong locker."

@1878. We are *they*, the sayers of things.
http://poorlydrawnlines.com/comic/they/
{BL #6762}

@1879. "Do you know where I can get some paperclips?" --a senior in college

@1880. Romney Frantically Figuring Out How Tax Plan Could Actually Work After Realizing He Might Win Election

October 13, 2012
@1882. "female wife" --#ankiblunders
{BL #10079}

@1883. We were making rules for the pumpkin drop lab in physics. Mr. Hefner mentioned that one year they had made a rule that everything had to be recyclable, so somebody suggested that everything should have to be *not* recyclable. This quickly led to the rule (written on the board like the rest of the serious ones): "heavy metals only."

@1884. After I use the cafeteria restroom, I notice that there's no trash can. Holding some wet paper towel in my hand, I check by the paper towel dispenser, around corners, and under the sinks. No trash can. So I figure it must have migrated into the entryway or even the hallway. Nope, no trash can. (There are paper towels all over the floor as a result, of course.)

I throw the paper away in the cafeteria trash can, then approach the two janitors, who are swapping trash bags.
Me: "There's no trash can in the bathroom."
Him: "The boys'?"
(Yeah, because I would've been in the girls' and come out to report that there was no trash can. No duh. Strangely, this is something that people often do in this situation--it's like they somehow need the clarification for something.)
Me: "Yeah."

They then proceed to tell me that it *is* there--even after I go back to double-check. Finally the lady grudgingly goes over to check--I apologized but didn't really have anything to apologize for, as I was just trying to limit the mess on the floor.
{BL #2030}

@1886. "You are free not to buy the app if you don't see the value in it." --Damien, after someone complained about the price of the Anki iPhone app #ankiforums
(Cf. #2289.)

October 14, 2012
@1887. "If I do ac come complish it I'll definitely report back thanks" --guy on the #ankiforums

@1888. "It's been rough trying to learn 20 new words all starting with 'a' every day, hah." --#ankiforums

@1889. New 'NFL Long Snap' Channel Promises To Air Every Single Long Snap On Sundays

@1890.
Mama: "They have two different girls."
Me: "No, they have two of the same."

@1892. According to Mr. Hefner, cruise ships get about 9 inches to the gallon.

@1895. Apparently people in my German class have never heard the phrase "on the whole."

@1896. "The choice [of case for the preposition], however, is not free." --German grammar book

@1898. "Non-standard: Sorry, I lay about our appointment yesterday. (Should be lied)" --Wikipedia

@1899. "Actually, MPAA gets their data exclusively from their ass." --comment on TorrentFreak

@1905. "While you can do conditional probability by a formula, it's really easier to do it in a way that makes good intuitive sense." --Apex

October 30, 2012
@1906. "Who will marinating the technical part of the Anki?" --#ankiforums

@1907. "84% less packaging than glass container by weight" --on a plastic peanut container

@1915.
< Rodney> scorchgeek said (558d 14h 37m ago): If you get this message (which you will if you rejoin this channel) I have not yet, but I will sometime soon. Ask again in a couple days
< bcode> I guess that's a bit more than "a couple days"
< lapdis> lol :)

@1921. "Do not use outdoors--world hazard." --#misread warning on the back of an acoustic shell (actually 'wind')

@1922. "Why wasn't a more significant investigation undertaken?" / "Because then we find the culprits." --documentary about the 2008 economic collapse

@1924. "The Lambs of God are just before 200." --me

@1926. "It says I've been procured." --Apex student, upon being told she needed to contact the proctor to unlock more material

@1933. "Option: Ctrl-X to enter Ctrl-X mode"

November 08, 2012
@1936. "Rachmaninoff Solo Piano Sonata for Four Hands"

@1940. Keyboards generally work better when they are plugged in.

@1941. Widening Petraeus Scandal Reveals Human Race Has Been Having Sex For 200,000 Years

@1942.
(We are having a political event at our school, and many politicians are attending, including the governor of the state. There is a free lunch, but we get less than half the people we expect, so we start giving lunch to random people who happen to be walking by.)
Student: (cuts in line)
Man behind him: "Excuse me, you cut the line."
Student: "Do you know who I am?"
(I don't know who the student is, but I do know who the man behind him is, so I'm concealing my laughter.)
Man behind him: "No, but I'm not allowed to cut the line either and I doubt you're allowed to."
Student: "Excuse me? Who do you think you are?"
Man behind him: "The Governor. And you are?"

November 18, 2012
@1943. "Physical damage to any product voids that product's return policy." --Newegg

@1944. "Usually denoted by a capital letter zero." --Mr. Hefner

@1945. The University of Arizona offered me a scholarship for $30,000/year...and a free Apple iPad. Because that's a significant cost compared to the scholarship.

@1947. I got a z-score of 198 in a stats problem.

@1949. "Do you know about MIDI? I was *there.*"

@1953. "Soren you bloody legend..." --#ankiforums user

@1954. "How can a democracy make good decisions? Half the voters are more stupid than the average."

@1955. "They were formerly carried by the aether, which was decommissioned in 1897 due to budget cuts." --xkcd on electromagnetic waves

@1956. "Could you please revise the alphabet?" --me, #misread ing "revise abstract"

@1958. < blackcustard> heh. UPS switches to battery momentarily and power flickers. "wtf? it's not storming" *sound of transformer exploding in distance*

@1959. "Keys. Keys are definitely going to allow me to cross an item off my to-do list." --me

@1960.
< Adeon\SIGSEGV> waldo is a higher concept
< Adeon\SIGSEGV> by joining arms with the beasts of the dungeon, you find your own waldo
< Adeon\SIGSEGV> waldo symbolizes the unity that can only be reached by searching deeply within yourself
< Adeon\SIGSEGV> or you could also say the challenge is fucking buggy

@1963. Area Stoner Has Mind-Blowing Out-Of-Cheetos Experience
{BL #5037}

@1964. "See, if I run like that, I like...I fall." --#overheard in the hallway

December 06, 2012
@1965.
(We are having a discussion about a YouTube video.)
Marissa: "Why?"
Me: "That applies to most videos on YouTube."

@1967. "Sorry, I'm mentally handicapped." --#overheard in the hall

@1968. "Did you get my meeting about the email?" --me

@1970. "We'll take a posterior picture for posterity." --Mr. Kopf
{BL #4145}

@1976. "Do alligators alligate?"

@1977. Apple Promises To Fix Glitches In Map Software By Rearranging Earth's Geography
{BL #11829}

@1980. "How long have you been married?" --asked of my mother and me
{BL #4447}

@1981. "Last Sunday, this paper ran a story about dream kitchens. It should have been about the cyclical nature of the homelessness problem in America. _The Onion_ regrets the error."

@1982. "It breaks save compatibility, bones compatibility, possibly tiles compatibility (I don't know how they work) and maybe several other compatibilities I didn't even think of."

@1983. "Those that don't remember history are doomed to press Up repeatedly."

@1984. If you're reading this, it's likely your first and only experience with ed went something like this:

@@@
$ ed
help
?
h
Invalid command suffix
?
?
^C
?
exit
?
quit
?
^Z
$ killall ed
$ vi
@@@

--Arabesque article on ed

@1985. An engineer is someone who will spend three hours figuring out how to do a two-hour job in one hour.

@1986. "I do apologize, sir, but the accidental damage plan does not cover accidental damage."

December 25, 2012
@1989. "If you write a poem, I'll burn it and give you a zero." --Mrs. Pagel, after a student asked if his response to the question of what he learned from the poetry unit could be a poem

@1995. "Obliterate the following items from the beginning of time:" --Chrome's 'clear private data' option

@1996. "I dunno, I think I have schizophrenia." --#overheard in the hall

@2000. Searched for "nuke." There were 0 results. Did you mean "hanukkah"?
--VHS library catalog

@2001. "Sometimes we flush the toilet when we're done using it." --me #sometimeswe

@2002. I should start a series called "Sometimes we" :-)

@2003. Maybe I can hashtag random thoughts. That's a good idea, actually. To track stuff like that. I'll start.

@2006. "In general, cakes and pies are allowed in carry-on luggage." --TSA

December 28, 2012
@2008. "Water does this cool thing called 'evaporation.'" --Lifehacker comment
{BL #2702}

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--spam comment

@2011. "That's like asking, 'What's the difference between the Red Cross and the mafia?'" --Slashdot comment

@2012.
< Ergo^> Six Stages of Debugging
< Ergo^> 1. That can't happen.
< Ergo^> 2. That doesn't happen on my machine.
< Ergo^> 3. That shouldn't happen.
< Ergo^> 4. Why does that happen?
< Ergo^> 5. Oh, I see.
< Ergo^> 6. How did that ever work?
< MatthewWilkes> 7. svn blame
< miniwark> 8. one day we will write tests

@2014. Apparently Audacity feels the need to tell me that I can record for 266 *hours* more.

@2015. I had a funny thought that it's kind of odd that the human voice is the only instrument that can include words. That seems really stupid, but when you think about it you realize that there are all these different possibilities for most kinds of sounds, but if you want words in your music you have no choice -- you *must* use voice. (Well, you could put in a recording of a speech synth, I suppose, but that doesn't count.)

@2019. "Also, Christmas is cancelled next year and you're adopted." --Lifehacker commenter after hearing that Adam Pash was leaving as editor-in-chief

@2021. In 9th grade my Easy button was sort of stolen, in a sense. I accidentally left it in Mrs. Fiegle-Hicks' class--I forget when or why. When I went back (not very long afterwards), it wasn't there, and she knew she'd seen it just a little while ago. After a day, she had the button for me, and explained that a student had "found" the button lying on the ground. He claimed to assume that it was just there and hadn't belonged to anybody.

@2023. "I'm not doing the Cold War because the Cold War was last year." --Frau Houldieson, luckily meaning that we'd *studied* it last year

@2024. "I am a slow walker, but I never walk back." --Abraham Lincoln
{BL Descartes, Discourse on Method, p.2; §WalkBackwards}

@2025. "Stephen is married to his wife." --English presentation

@2026. "It wouldn't be wrong, but it wouldn't be right." --Mr. Kopf

@2028. Trying to use a mouse or keyboard upside down makes you feel really dumb, really fast.

January 09, 2013
@2030. Whenever I tell a janitor, clerk, or other employee that there's a problem with a facility's bathroom, I always purposefully leave out the "it's the men's" part, because people always seem to feel the need to confirm that, which I find hilarious.
(Cf. #1884.)

@2033. The format of this sheet music is described as "paperback." I guess it's sort of true...

@2034. "Sell us your item for a $0.54 gift card!"

@2035. "Improved performance and stability." --changelog for the "Flashlight" app

@2037. "I'm an additive Anki user." --#ankiforums

@2038. "You have successfully submitted the Common App Online."
Woot woot!

@2044. "Where's that one page where I wrote about..." (flip to index, flip back) "...oh, on the facing page." --me

@2047. "How can you be an Apple fan? That's like being a communist." --written in the margin of some old physics notes
{BL #3777}

@2048. Ready, fire, aim!

@2049. Report: Most Small Businesses Fail In First 6 Hours Of Being On Fire

@2050. Got my wisdom teeth pulled this morning. My mouth hurts from holding it open with gauze in it, my chin is twice its normal size from getting 12 lidocaine shots, and I'm slightly high on painkiller. But actually I'm doing pretty well, all things considered. :D

@2051.
< Rodney> Sconi (Val Hum Fem Neu) wished for "Elbereth", on turn 51702
< Rodney> Sconi (Val Hum Fem Neu), 1574390 points, T:51730, petrified by a chickatrice
< Sconi> ...
< Sconi> crap

@2052. One phone to rule them all, One phone to find them / One phone to bring them all and in the darkness bind them / In the Land of Google where the Shadows lie.

@2053. < bcode> Hydroxide: do you know about the move-diagonally-to-get-out-of-any-bear-trap-in-5-turns trick? in case you don't, move diagonally to get out of any bear trap in 5 turns

@2054. "Having met quite a lot of sheep I have been left with the lasting impression that brick walls are probably smarter."

@2055. I Don't Pee Like My Aunt Leona

@2056. It's 8:30. I have a paper due tomorrow. I have not yet written any of it. (I am looking for quotes and important parts of the book.)

@2057. lol adblock for piratebay, firstworldproblems

@2058. "He expressed disappointment and subtly suggested he had been looking forward to sleeping with me by saying, 'But I want to sleep with you.'" --Jezebel

@2059. "He works at the loser college." --Google Voice voicemail #transcription of "Luther College"
{BL §LutherCollege}

@2061. "The software is quite improved by my hacking session this morning." --me

@2063. "Because learning does not consist only of knowing what we must or we can do, but also of knowing what we could do and perhaps should not do." --William, _The Name of the Rose_

@2064. pissing up a flagpole

January 27, 2013
@2067. "I don't know how hangers work." --a first-grader

@2068.
Jesus and the devil get in an argument about who has the better computer skills. To settle the argument, they get an arbiter to arrange an hour-long contest during which they have to complete a number of tasks. Five minutes before the end of the allotted time, the power goes out and the computers die. The devil immediately jumps up from his seat and starts swearing, but Jesus is unperturbed. The devil looks at Jesus and asks angrily, "Why is he so calm?"

"Well," the arbiter replies, "Jesus saves."

@2069. "Sometimes I like to steer while I'm turning." --me

@2070. "It's downpouring snow." --#overheard on the bus

@2071. "'Downpour' is totally not transitive. Well, it's not a verb at all." --me, on #2070

@2073.
 #overheard in the hall:
Student 1: "Where's your homeroom?"
Student 2: "Downstairs."
Student 1: "No waaay! Where?"

@2075. "There's a hole in my ass. It looks pretty bad. I don't care." --#overheard in the bathroom: a person who walked in, engaged in contortions in front of the mirror to see if something was wrong with his pants, then left again

@2076. "An idealist is a pragmatist with an eye on the future." --Slashdot commenter on RMS

@2079. Lifehacker exchange:
Question: "What helpful items do you store in your car?"
Comment 1: "An engine. I find it useful when wanting to move the car from one location to another."
Comment 2: "I keep my smart ass in my car so I don't use it when I get home. Looks like I forgot to take it off this time."

@2081. "It's like an eyrie today." --#mishearing of Ella Simon's "an earring or something"

February 07, 2013
@2082. I literally found a computer I'd forgotten I had (that Windows XP one I keep under the desk in the back).

@2083. I'm seeing all clean floor space as wasted space now after picking everything up... (That was my weekend during the internet break this week.)

@2084. If you ever want to be a hero on a group trip, throw a power strip in your backpack. (One time I had someone complain when I took it away on the last night because I wanted to pack up early! I can understand, but it's still pretty hilarious.)

@2085. I found a 3-ft USB extension cable. That's almost an oxymoron, isn't it? Then again, I have actually used said cable, so maybe it's not quite that silly.

February 08, 2013
@2086. I finished my AP Stats course yesterday. I only got a 73% on the final, but I passed. :-) I think I could have done better on the final if getting a higher grade had been life or death (or if I couldn't retake it if I didn't make the threshold). Matter of fact, that holds for the course in general--the way it was set up served to really decrease motivation. All in all I think the course certainly taught me some good introductory statistics, but I would have learned more in a real class. Maybe if I was better at required independent study (independent study on my own on things I'm just sort of interested in has historically gone fairly well, like *ahem* computers), I could have gotten more out of it.

Anyway, I think I'll kind of miss the course, actually: Mr. Leahy was pretty cool, and the classroom was actually a fairly nice place to spend an afternoon. It's sort of too bad there's nothing else I can take there. I'm trying to decide how I should use that extra time. I'd like to make sure it doesn't blend into other time and get wasted. I might try to practice when I get home or near it.

@2088. "It's just that I see not getting sued as a feature."

February 13, 2013
@2089. "A human is a system for converting dust billions of years ago into dust billions of years from now via a roundabout process which involves checking email a lot." --xkcd title text

@2090. "What's the difference between hardware and software? If you use hardware long enough, it breaks. If you use software long enough, it works."

@2091. There's a guy at school at the intersection of the downstairs red and orange hallways who plays guitar in the hall before school on a lot of days. It's really awesome--you just walk by and he's with some friends playing away.

@2092. "I don't like sitting on this side [of the table]. I don't know how you do it." --#overheard in the cafeteria

@2093. "Time is all we have." --Elliott, in an (incorrect) attempt to translate a German saying about time

@2094. "Die Zeit ist eine Uhr ohne Ziffern." --Ernst Bloch's son

@2095. "...when it presents ominent danger." --Danny

@2096. "...but for me its just worser in all possible points." --#ankiforums

@2098. You can be dead right and still be dead.

@2106. American Airlines, US Airways Merge To Form World's Largest Inconvenience

@2107. "If you don't eat for 25 hours, you'll be hungry." --someone at the 30-Hour Famine

@2108. Over the Famine, I learned that not having mealtimes really messes with your perception of time. You don't realize how much you normally mark the time by "now it's midday and I'm going to eat lunch" until you don't eat lunch.

@2109. Software Rage

@2110. "In case you Can't tell I'm trying to Not Capitalize every word." --after being told title case was inappropriate for a wiki article

@2111. I saw this sign at RadioShack today: "Fix Cracked Screens Within 72 Hours." For quite some time I interpreted this as meaning that you had to get the phone in to them within 72 hours or they wouldn't be able to repair it, and was extremely puzzled by why this would be.

@2112. I'd forgotten how immature middle-schoolers are....

@2114. Mr. Hefner told us he has 4 Laserdiscs: two physics ones, one chemistry one, and _Rain Man_. Apparently a student found the Rain Man one at a thrift shop or something and thought he should buy it since he knew Mr. Hefner had a Laserdisc player in the classroom.

@2115. Problems cannot be created or destroyed; they can only change form.
(See §ConservationOfProblems.)

@2116. Betteridge's Law of Headlines: Any headline which ends in a question mark can be answered by the word *no*.

February 19, 2013
@2117. "I have a clarificational question." --Emma

@2118. "Keine leeway." --Marco

@2120. Spam email.

Hello.

It's My Pleasure

Am miss Stella, interested in you, & wish to have you as my friend, for friend is all about Respect, Admiration and love passion, and sharing of ideas, i intend to send my picture for you, if you reply me. thanks from Stella.

@2121. Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
(Cf. §HanlonsRazor, §HanlonsTanto.)

@2122. "I don't knock stuff over. I build it up!" --#overheard, person helping someone who spilled his stuff all over the floor in study hall pick up

@2123. "Please make a special note of placing the iron on its lowest setting to avoid igniting the page." --notebook repair guide

February 22, 2013
@2124.
#overheard on the bus:
Girl 1: "I can't pee my pants because I'm wearing a dress."
Girl 2: "Thanks for sharing."

@2125. "We're going to have refried beans for dessert." --Mama

@2127. "There is no bad weather, only bad clothing." --Swedish saying
{BL #6360, #11696}

@2129. Lifehacker comment: "Coffee May Decrease Your Risk of Dying"
I don't care how much coffee you drink, your risk of dying is still 100%.

@2130. Seen in an advertisement: "TurboTax is up-to-date with all the latest tax laws!"

Well it had f-ing better be...

@2132. What do you want to eat? [emU or ?*]

@2133. So I got a letter from some university offering me a full ride scholarship. Among the terms was a per-semester cash stipend of "$44,000." Someone's gonna get chewed out over that typo!

@2135.
Mr. Kopf made a good point right before Solo & Ensemble, declaring there are three different states of mind you need to have when playing:
* Live in the PAST: while practicing
*      in the PRESENT: while performing
*      in the FUTURE: while improvising

@2136. Mr. Kopf told us about the time he was playing Beethoven's 3rd symphony (Eroica). The first movement is crazy long and somewhat exhausting, and when they'd finished the conductor just sort of leaned over his stand and stayed there like he was having a heart attack or something. They started playing the next movement anyway (a funeral march!), because that seemed like kind of what you have to do. They were horribly scared that he was going to die during the funeral march.

@2138. "It's the same note as the clap." --Chuck, in a discussion about how the basses should get their note

@2139. "Started 0 discussions and made -1 replies." --TenderApp

@2141. "On a more encouraging note, 'password1' cracked the top 25 this year, so perhaps people are learning that a combination of letters and numbers makes for a stronger password. (Now they just need to work on not picking the most obvious of each.)" --PC World
{BL #6026}

March 01, 2013
@2148. "...students who receive either free or reduced lunch...qualify for an exception of fees on all non-math and non-science AP exams."

@2151. "Please add a note function to this forum." --#ankiforums

@2152. < Wooble> calling things gay is lesbian.

@2153. #overheard on the bus:
Student 1: "There's not going to be a _snow day_ tomorrow."
Student 2: (angrily) "Shut up, be optimistic!"

(In the end we did have a snow day.)

@2154. "Don't forget we have a fire tonight." --#mishearing of "choir"

@2155. "Error message: server is loaded" --#ankiforums title

March 09, 2013
@2156. "If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me."

@2157. I noticed there's a specific way that people hold trash--kind of sideways, and they swing it more than usual. It's also kind of light and careless.

@2159. "Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead."

@2160. "Bach died from 1750 to the present."

@2162. "Cannot schedule a drive test. Scheduling a test date in the past is not permitted." --Indiana BMV website

March 14, 2013
@2163. "Do not sit on the counter! It will break!" --sign in the VHS Attendance Office

@2166. "Thou liest, thou shag-eared villain!" --Macduff's son, _Macbeth_

@2168. Every year the psychology class does something with traffic in the hallways. This year they created a roundabout at the intersection of the red and purple hallways (a big mess). They've done various things, including standing in the middle and standing at the edges, putting arrows on it and not putting arrows, and so on.

@2170. "O...Q. The alphabet definitely goes O-Q." --me

@2171. What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do? He stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.
{BL #7605}

@2172. A lot of times the complaining can be worse than the circumstance.
{BL CB7.06}

@2173. "OK, I've said this two bajillion times. No one ever does it, though."

@2176. "Is there anyone still monitoring this post?" --#ankiforums user after a record 1 hour, 18 minutes lag time between posts

@2177. St. Olaf tuition comes out to nearly $4K less than Luther...wut? (This does include rejecting loans, though even without, that doesn't account for the difference.)

@2179. "In most cases, lead poisoning is preventable by avoiding exposure to lead." --Wikipedia

@2183. In my chrono book, I wrote these three dates in a row for consecutive days: the 13th, the 13th again, and the 23rd.

@2185. While searching for the xkcd "fucking jacket" comic (used as an annoyedness adjectival modifier):
"The word 'fucking' has been filtered from the search because Google SafeSearch is active."

(It still found it just fine!)

@2187. "Do not pass under the forgetting tree."

@2188. In study hall the other day, the bell rang. The guy in front of me woke up and was horribly confused (I suspect it was dream-related, as similar things have happened to me before). He asked, "What was that?" I wasn't sure how to respond, but said, "The final bell?" He asked, "For the end of the day?" I said, "No, 9th hour." And he said, "I don't know what just happened." Not sure what to do, I left the room.

@2190. We were listening to the Drake University Trombone Choir in orchestra, and during the last piece the end-of-day announcements started. Then there was a grand pause, and precisely in the pause the announcements said, "Have a good day!" The whole auditorium laughed (though it was still in the middle of the piece).

@2191. "You weren't here because you were gone." --me

@2192. "Headless whole notes are hard to see." --Sibelius Student help

March 31, 2013
@2195.
Host: "Have a safe trip!"
Me: "You too!"

@2198. Wikipedia surfing: "Saint Elmo's Fire" to "Bid Euchre"

@2202.
Procrastination is a crime
It only leads to sorrow
I can stop any time
I think I will tomorrow

@2203. Best Lifehacker tag I've seen so far: "DEATH"

@2204. "Some people I know use a small fanny pack for their EDC. It means they can carry a lot, and that's awesome. It also means they have to wear a fanny pack."

@2205. When you wash the shirt, hang it on the hanger with the top button buttoned. Each time you wear the shirt hang it back up with the next lower button buttoned. It's an easy way for me to look at my shirts and know which ones are fresh out of the laundry or which have been worn a couple times.

@2206. I'm writing a collaborative essay in English 12 IB. This sentence was in it: "Traitors being served justice is a foreshadow for the entirety of the play, replacing the old Thane with Macbeth to be finally served justice in the end."

It also contained the adjective "Banquo-centric."

Unsurprisingly, we got a C- on the paper.
{BL #2245}

@2211. (To be read in idiot-voice on April 1) "Did you hear that they canceled April Fools' this year?" / "April Fools'!"

@2213. "In today's society, college is ambiguous. We need it to live, but we also need it to love. Moreover, without college most of the world's learning would be egregious." --an essay designed to get high marks from a computerized grading system

@2214. "Was that file in File Manager?" --me

@2215.
"If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant; if what is said is not what is meant, then what must be done remains undone; if this remains undone, morals and art will deteriorate; if justice goes astray, the people will stand about in helpless confusion. Hence there must be no arbitrariness in what is said. This matters above everything." --(attrib. to) Confucius

@2216. "In the center column, we have short snippets of text written by ten individuals or groups, though of course, Google reports that it has 32 million more snippets to survey if we want to keep clicking. "

@2219.
"Mobile client took a dump" --#ankiforums subject

(Follow-up thread: "Anki took a dump again")

@2220. Shibboleth

@2221. "Aesthetical issue"

@2222. "Water bath canning is okay, but it's slow and nothing worse than a kitchen with boiling pots on an August afternoon." --Lifehacker comment

@2226. "In responding to the question, you are free to refer to any literary works except the books in the Harry Potter series. (They are so well known that it is difficult to find anything new to say about them.)" --St. Olaf Great Con application essay guidelines
(/r/fuckyouinparticular?)

@2232. "More people have probably died from ingrown toenails [than meteorites]." --Slashdot comment

@2236. "Are you kidding me? I'd just rather *not* die." --#overheard on the bus
{BL CB50.28}

@2241. "Mr. Wilson recalled that when he was on the California Energy Commission, he asked box makers why the hard drives were on all the time, using so much power. The answer: 'Nobody asked us to use less.'"

@2242. "No psalm today, because we're sort of winning time because I had a very short first reading." --the taped me

@2243. "Wanted: Cement cat statue" --Freecycle

@2252. "Do you want to buy one Advertisement Off for $0.99?" --Timer app

@2253. "Thanks for saving me Chris, only I could misspell a word I made up."

@2261. "Any fool can use a computer. Many do."

@2269. "Sixes aren't that bad of numbers." --me

@2271. "You know, twenty five years ago, everyone was convinced it would be computers built by the military-industrial complex that would become self-aware and take out the human race. Now I'm beginning to wonder if HFT algorithms will be the ones that do it."

@2275. "I lost my job. I've never saved so much on my commute." --Lifehacker comment

@2278. "Writing fiction doesn't mean you're writing perfection." --Mrs. Pagel

@2284. "Reduced fares are offered only to those customers who are eligible." --CTA website

@2285. "A jar full of fennel will never save your life, whereas this bike light might."

@2286. "The helmet is helpful against hitting your head on the ground." --Wikipedia on unicycle safety gear

@2287. From CS random paper generator:
"AugustanQuice is composed of a collection of shell scripts, a homegrown database, and a homegrown database."
"We now consider prior work. Further, instead of emulating the development of SCSI disks [10,31,32], we fulfill this intent simply by visualizing the investigation of sensor networks."

@2288. "EBay suspended the auction, which was contrary to their policy against the sale of human remains."

@2289.
"Umm...if you think the price isn't good, then...don't buy it." --me, after the latest #ankiforums complainer about Anki's price
{BL #1886}

@2290. "Publisher: learn how customers can search inside this book." --on a Moleskine blank journal

@2291. "Theme" --the entirety of an #ankiforums post

April 30, 2013
@2298. After Checking Your Bank Account, Remember To Log Out, Close The Web Browser, And Throw Your Computer Into The Ocean

@2299. "Oh, her singing voice? I thought you meant her *actual* voice." --#overheard in AP Government class

@2300. Overexcited, High-Pitched Girl: "I never wear real pants. Pants are too much work!" --#overheard in the hallway

@2303. The Laws of Bureaucratic Procedure (from my AP Gov book).

* Acheson's Rule: A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
* Boren's Laws: When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder.
* Chapman's Rules of Committees: Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner. Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise. Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating others. When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
* Meskimen's Law: There's never time to do it right but always time to do it over.
* Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.
* O'Toole's Corollary to Murphy's Law: Murphy was an optimist.
* Parkinson's First Law: Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
* Parkinson's Second Law: Expenditure rises to meet income.
* Peter Principle: In every hierarchy, each employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence; thus, every post tends to be filled by an incompetent employee.
* Robertson's Rule: The more directives you issue to solve a problem, the worse it gets.
* Smith's Principle: Never do anything for the first time.

@2305. I saw the strangest vehicle I've seen in quite some time while waiting for the bus. It was a little four-wheeler painted in camouflage with a big fake machine gun on the top. It said "Military Police" on the front. The guy hand-signaled a right turn and went around the corner in front of us. I wondered if I was dreaming for a moment, it was so weird.

@2306. "If a student refuses to use a calculator on the exam, they will have to sign a release form." --AP Stats preparation checklist

To be fair, it *would* be a really nasty test to try to take without a calculator.
{BL CB26.67}

@2312. In English today, we were doing a sort of partner essay (it wasn't really an essay so much as a response) and were typing it up on netbooks. In the middle of this, at full volume, another group's netbook blasted something like "Welcome to UK Essays!" He swore up and down he hadn't been looking up essays but that he'd been Googling a part of the question for historical background information and it had come up in a pop-up. I can almost believe him.

@2315. The packaging for this product boasts that it "contributes to the environment." Doesn't everything?

@2321. "If I don't, my day is off on a very bad foot." --me
(I think it's a mix of "wrong foot" and "bad start.")

@2324. "tl;dw: use a table instead of this bullshit" --in my AP Stats notes

@2325. IF DOOR DOES NOT OPEN DO NOT ENTER

@2326.
"Please enter your phone number, one digit at a time."
Nah, I'll just press them all at once.

@2328. "But i cannot find a fitting addon in the internet." --#ankiforums

@2336. When I tried to empty the trash on my scanner's memory, I got an error saying I couldn't do that because the trash was full and I needed to empty the trash first. >__<

(There was something funny going on with it being "read-only" despite the fact that the RO switch was not flipped. Who knows.)

@2341. "Too bad the scientific method is no match for the stick-your-fingers-in-your-ears-and-yell-la-la-la-la-la method." --Slashdot comment
{BL #4638}

@2342. I just looked at the lyrics for "Love is Stronger than Justice" because I couldn't understand a line---whoa, I had no idea that was what it was about! Proves how little we listen to lyrics (especially when they're hard to hear).

@2344. "I will give you the Nobel Prize if you just shut the fuck up!" --#overheard in the hallway

@2345. "Whoooah!" --after I told someone in my German class how to make an umlaut in Word

@2346.
Me: "Someone give me a country. Any country."
Student: "Africa."
--an unsuccessful attempt to demonstrate my knowledge of the capitals of many countries during a presentation

@2347. "...we all live in a freaking submarine..." --me

@2348. "What's the plural of analysis? Analysises?" --asked in English class

@2350. "...nice headphones. The only problem is that you can't hear when people talk about stealing them from you." --#overheard in the hall

@2351. "Yeahh! I got a sandwich!" --#overheard in the hall

@2353. "It's very easy; to get to the colour blind test, just go outside and follow the green signs until you see a red building. Go through the purple doors, just past the blue ones."

@2354. ...These lyrics say "wool" for "woe."

@2357. "Missing the point! Ha, ha, ha, ha." --me, late at night after noticing the rollerball tip had broken off my pen

@2358. "If you don't care about opening it up once you close it, this is the safe for you." --Amazon review

@2359. "I tried using a real PDA for a while but I found it to be kind of like a really expensive notebook that took ages to write in."

@2360. Said comment about a PDA was written only 4 years ago. It was literally that short a time ago when smartphones were still just starting to be topics of conversation. It's amazing how fast these things can change.

@2371. "If cold fusion were invented tomorrow everything changes..." / "True. I for one would be worried about getting hit by one of those flying pigs." --Slashdot comment

@2372. "Anyway as of the last time I was in my auto I was getting 532,224 rods per hogshead which is low compared to 544320. Of course I've been driving where the speed limit ranges from 27,200 furlongs per fortnight to 107,520 furlongs per fortnight. However when the school zone lights are flashing it is a piddly ass 40320 furlongs per fortnight even in a 107,520 furlongs per fortnight zone." --another Slashdot comment

@2373. "Sir, I really have no idea what people's political leanings are based on their bread preferences."

@2375. The average smartphone user checks his or her device about every 6 minutes.
http://mobile.slashdot.org/story/13/05/25/1333246/how-the-smartphone-killed-the-three-day-weekend

@2376. "You don't have to tell me the rules! I'm not stupid. I've been at this high school for five years!"

@2377. "I also searched for the 'reverse' button so a card could be readen in both senses, but I didn't find it." --#ankiforums

@2378. "Presumably you will be creating a document that contains at least some text." --Memoir documentation

@2379. "The last nail in the coffin to this potentially kickass auction is the fact that the secret can be 'digitally delivered' to you. Fuck that, if the secret of invisibility is 'digital' we're getting it off fucking BitTorrent."

@2380. #ankiblunders:
Card: "louse"
My definition: "a single lice"

(In my defense, I wasn't wrong.)

@2383. Right when I was leaving for school today, I got a push notification informing me that there *had been* a severe thunderstorm watch the night before, expiring 5 hours prior to the notification. Very useful there.

@2384. "Do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back."

@2385. "You would think that this [club] would fall faster than this [feather] -- [drop] -- and you'd be absolutely right." --_Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead_

@2388. When I was in fifth grade or so (maybe middle school, actually), I was walking past the Banta Center and met a girl in third grade or so. She had this chant on "Say No to Drugs" and was going around reciting it to people (or, at least, to me). She never stopped and started a conversation or anything, she just spoke from memory. I don't even remember how I reacted, although I'm sure I assured her I didn't intend to do drugs in one way or another.

@2389. "YODO: You Only Die Once, don't make it happen" --one of the locker signs about health and safety that the elementary schoolers put up on high school lockers at prom

@2394. "offer: huge bag of teen girls" --#whoopstypo seen on Freecycle
Even worse than "binders full of women"!

@2396. "Hi,expert," --salutation to an #ankiforums support question

June 02, 2013
@2402. In church yesterday, I said, "It is right to give us thanks and praise."

@2404. "It all comes down to Nevada." --election in _The West Wing_

@2405. "She'll never set the fires on river." --(unintentional) blunder in English parody presentation

@2406. "Okay, well it's pendleing." --apparently my new word for 'pending'

@2412. "Hi, welcome to [store]. How can I lie to you today?"

June 05, 2013
@2413. I coined a term for when you're having a difficult computer problem and then you reboot and it effortlessly goes away: "reboot salvation."
(Cf. §RebootSalvation.)

@2414. "But lie and lay seem to give people more difficulty than do all the other irregular verbs combined."

@2421. "Now the author of this paper might argue that this 'disproportionately favors the guilty', but that makes the naïve assumption that all crimes are equal and that all crimes should be prosecuted. It is arguably not in the public's best interest to prosecute every possible crime, because under such circumstances, our current body of law leads to a world in which everyone is in prison. Therefore, there is no legitimate public need for you to be required to confess to a crime that the government does not know about. As a general rule, if no one has reported the crime, chances are good that no one was actually harmed by it, which means that prosecuting the offending person would be a waste of taxpayer resources that would detract from the ability to prosecute serious crime."

June 08, 2013
@2428. "Service Inturruption" --Apex email subject line

@2430. I just cut into my driver's license with an X-Acto knife. Smooth. (I was using it as a rule.)

@2431. Shipping: Standard (18-32 business days)
--for an item coming from Japan

@2432. Or you can pay $40 to expedite the $16 item to 1-3 days.

@2436. "This is an optional fee."

@2437. "No! I don't back up [my car]. You do it. I don't know how."

@2438. "This BIOS is exclusively for Acer only." --on the POST screen of Emily

@2439. "I know that my mail sends, but I have no clue how..." --me

June 27, 2013
@2440. "It's eating your computer, sir, day by day." --"technician" cold-calling from "Windows"

@2442. So I got a call from "Windows." Apparently my system was "filled with nasty viruses" that were "eating [my] computer, sir, day by day." I kept the guy (or, the four people I was transferred to throughout the course of the call) on the phone for 32 minutes.

The only mistake I made was at the end, when I decided they would soon give up because we were on the third piece of remote control software that didn't work (I didn't even have to do anything to make the first two not work, they just didn't) so, upon downloading the third, I decided to say my computer "rebooted by itself." For some reason, instead of faking my system rebooting, I decided to cut the power switch and then turn it back on, which had the effect of corrupting the hard disk and legitimately making the system unbootable. Oops. Needless to say the call wasn't so funny after that.

Fortunately fsck recovered the disk, so all is well and hopefully one less person got scammed during the time we wasted.

@2444. "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." --Mark Twain

@2445. "Every man...should periodically be compelled to listen to opinions which are infuriating to him. To hear nothing but what is pleasing to one is to make a pillow of the mind." --St. John Ervine

@2446. I've noticed I spend considerably more time reading the comments section of articles that I disagree with, as if to find validation for my own opinion. It's really kind of stupid--the whole point of reading articles I disagree with is to see what other people think and add it to my database of opinions, not to read something and let other people refute it for me.

@2447. Here's something to think about as we have fewer jobs:
"An educational system isn't worth a great deal if it teaches young people how to make a living but doesn't teach them how to make a life."

@2448. "I've seen how you can't learn anything when you're trying to look like the smartest person in the room." --Barbara Kingsolver

@2449. "One of the reasons people stop learning is that they become less and less willing to risk failure." --John W. Gardner

@2450. "The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers, but it takes a creative mind to spot a wrong question." --Anthony Jay

@2451. "The best thinking has been done in solitude. The worst has been done in turmoil." --Thomas Edison

@2454. "Keep out of the reach or use by children." --on the side of a kerosene can

@2455. Signage that tells you to do things that are the law always amuse me. Like "Obey Speed Limit." Right, because on all the other stretches of road I don't have to do that.

@2457. "You'll be as healthy as a horse." --#overheard at the campground, spoken to a child

@2459. At a number of buildings at UW Madison, they now post the hours they are *closed* on the door. Apparently the idea of posting the hours you're open is too ordinary, so they decided they had to flip it around. It's considerably harder to figure out, since you're not used to it.

@2460. "Uh-huh. National urinal week." --#overheard phone conversation of a janitor at the campground bathrooms

@2461. "Log me in to LogMeIn..." --me

@2462. "These multimedia and internet settings use international USB standard codes, which work with all recent Windows operating systems without requiring a special driver. Please contact Apple to ask why Apple operating systems do not support these codes." --Kinesis manual

@2463. A recent rocket crash was caused by somebody installing velocity sensors upside down.

@2465. "The stats indicate the card was created in 2000, which was before Anki existed." --Damien, #ankiforums

@2469. My new external HD was echoing noise into the desk, so I put two pairs of underwear under it. Yay for hacks -- it works well.

@2471. "Wow, I downloaded a lot of shit back in the day, didn't I?" --me

@2477. At several gas stations on the Ohio Turnpike, they have signs up at the filling stations that say "No Parking Except to Fuel." I'm glad they specify that you can fuel there, because otherwise I would have thought because they told you not to park there and use up the filling bay, you had to fuel while your vehicle was in motion.

@2478. "We're infernal twins." --two people we met at the church on the way to Manassas

@2479. "The wasterpaper basket." --me

@2481. Whenever I use those automatic paper towel dispensers I feel like I'm trying to do some kind of magical incantation or curse. I'm just waving my arms around at different speeds in different places trying to get the damn thing to notice I'm there and want some paper towel.

@2484. Say what? If someone is going to find out what my password is, there are many problems beyond the password being "offensive":

"When you purchase your Card online or activate it, you will be asked to create a password to view your account. You may not select a password that violates anyone's rights or one that, in SA's sole discretion, SA considers offensive, improper or inappropriate. If you do so, SA may modify or delete it."

@2486. "I didn't bring my son up to be killed by a falling cow," his mother Maria de Souza told Brazil's Super Canal TV channel.

@2487. "The paper quoted someone as saying this. The Times doesn't have a policy of only quoting people who say true things. If it did, all coverage of politics would come to a screeching halt." --The Straight Dope

@2489. Compared to a typical car carrying 2,000 pounds per axle, a fully loaded truck stresses the road surface 6,561 times as much.

@2490. One researcher estimated in 1986 that as much as half the populace subscribes to what he called "valve theory," namely the belief that the thermostat functions like a gas pedal: the higher you set it, the hotter your furnace runs.

@2492. Taser is an acronym for "Thomas A. Swift's electric rifle."

@2493. One study calculated for each person actually saved by CPR, 12,306 people have to have received CPR training.

@2494. Selections from Wikipedia's "List of Unusual Deaths":
* 1567: Hans Steininger, the burgomaster of Brunau, Austria, died when he broke his neck by tripping over his own beard. The beard, which was 4.5 feet (1.4 meters) long at the time, was usually kept rolled up in a leather pouch.
* 1794: John Kendrick, an American sea captain and explorer, was killed in the Hawaiian Islands when a British ship mistakenly used a loaded cannon to fire a salute to Kendrick's vessel.
* 1871: Clement Vallandigham, a lawyer and Ohio politician, was demonstrating how a victim may possibly have shot himself while drawing a weapon from a kneeling position when he shot himself in the process. Though the defendant, Thomas McGehan, was ultimately cleared, Vallandigham died from his wound.
* 1920: Ray "Chappie" Chapman, shortstop for the Cleveland Indians baseball team, was killed when a submarine ball thrown by Carl Mays hit him in the temple. Chapman collapsed at the plate, and died about 12 hours later. He remains the only major league baseball player killed by a pitched ball.
* 1993: Garry Hoy, a 38-year-old lawyer in Toronto, fell to his death on July 9, 1993, after he threw himself against a window on the 24th floor of the Toronto-Dominion Centre in an attempt to prove to a group of visitors that the glass was "unbreakable," a demonstration he had done many times before. The glass did not break, but popped out of the window frame.
* 2007: Humberto Hernandez, a 24-year-old Oakland, California resident, was killed after being struck in the face by an airborne fire hydrant while walking. A passing car had struck the fire hydrant and the water pressure shot the hydrant at Hernandez with enough force to kill him.
* 2010: Jimi Heselden, British owner of the Segway motorized scooter company, was killed when he accidentally drove off a cliff on a Segway at his estate at Thorp Arch near Boston Spa.
* 2010: 20 crew and passengers died in a plane crash near Bandundu, in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, when a crocodile, being smuggled by one of the passengers in a sports bag, freed itself and panicked the passengers who all ran towards the flightdeck. The tiny Filair L-410 Turbolet became unbalanced and crashed, despite the lack of any technical failure. One passenger and the crocodile survived.

@2495. "My guess would be that fish electrocution by lightning is a pretty underreported phenomenon."

@2496. In 2012, 2.3 million toilets in the United States, and about 9,400 in Canada, were recalled due to faulty pressure-assist flush mechanisms which put users at risk of the fixture exploding.

@2502. Emacs is a good OS. The only thing it lacks is a good text editor.
{BL #5323}

@2515. "Hi. The hotkey for deleting a card (cmd+shit+del)..." --#ankiforums #whoopstypo
I could use a *shit* key sometimes.

@2516. "Obviously. But where is click?" --clientsfromhell.com

@2517. "There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all." --Peter F. Drucker
{BL #8368}

@2518. /usr/bin/updatedb: line 221: /usr/bin/sort: No such file or directory

Ok, using an iPod Touch isn't quite like a normal Unix system.

@2519. "Phone sold separately." --on a $15 package of screen protectors, under a picture of the product in use

@2521. "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." --Clarke's Third Law

@2523. "Buy soren at Amazon." --ad in footer of Google search

@2524. Best Boggle word in a while: "jeepers".

@2526.
Change "McGonigle" to: 1) "Mogo niggle"
--Aspell spelling suggestion

@2529. "Yes, huge news alert, a $1000+ device smokes a $500 device in head to head competition." --ZDNet comments

@2531. "Hey administratorWhy is there a lot of comments that look a lot like spam?" --spam comment

@2532. "I would prefer not to lose my passport." --me

@2533. "You may electronically post up to thirty (20) of my graphics." --copyright permissions notice on lifeprint.com

@2534. Interesting choice of name for an SSID: "Screaming Toilet."

@2535. "These matches are for outdoor use only."

Well, I guess they won't blow out for a reason...

@2539. "This is a deadbolt, so you can't pick it." --a "locksmith"

@2541. "This is bad, really, really bad done." --#ankiforums post

@2543. "SimCity 4: where you can instantly bulldoze an entire airport by building a connection to the next city." --me

@2548. "Catch them as they throw by. Kinda like Mardi Gras." --me, on home video, regarding some "scissor art" I had made

@2549. "Why, oh why, does the Common App essay accept .xls files?" --me (but seriously!)

@2552. "It is getting very bothering." --#ankiforums

@2554. LaTeXWiki -- the free latex fetish encyclopedia
I swear I'm not making this up. There are a...variety of sites on the Internet. (And you know how I found that now, right? Based on my capitalization? Right?)

@2556. "Total: 0 sheet of paper" --Google Chrome

@2557. Here's a book I could safely have predicted would wind up on the clearance rack at Barnes & Noble: "The Biscuiteer's Guide to Iced Cookies."

@2559.
"An effortless online shopping experience" (MoleskineUS)
Because online shopping is normally very difficult and strenuous.

@2561. I love how Wikipedia can sometimes be ridiculously neutral: "[The 27th Amendment] is the most recent amendment to the United States Constitution. It was submitted to the states for ratification in 1789 and was adopted in 1992." As if that's perfectly normal!

@2563. 25% of people on food stamps report that they have never used a government social program. Wut?
http://benjaminstudebaker.com/2013/08/24/citizens-using-state-programs-unaware-that-they-use-state-programs/

@2564.
"The idea that a grown man didn't know it is fantastically absurd." / "The idea that the Australian Emu is the worlds greatest underwater killing machine between the deepths of 100-5000m is fantastically absurd. That somone was ignorant of the law is staggeringly less so. You need to improve your fantasies, I imagine you missing out on quite a lot of fun."
--Ars Technica thread

@2565. Goes along with something I've been thinking about lately:
"How can we say that someone 17 years, 364 days, 23 hours and 59 minutes old is too young, but one minute later and ... TADA! ... now you've crossed through the magic threshold of all knowledge, wisdom and forethought! Now you can go ahead and do all the gangbang videos and whatever weird shit you want because of some arbitrarily definition created by some old farts in stuffy suits who think they know better? Oh, right, but you can't drink for another three years. In what universe is such arbitrium anything but asinine?"

@2567. On this St. Olaf course about relationships and substance abuse, there was an animated section where it advised you to offer to accompany a friend who is a victim of sexual assault anywhere they need to go. The picture showed the car traveling at 110mph. As serious as the topic was, I laughed for the next five slides.

@2568. "It's about time! I pushed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!"

@2569. "OK, here I see some F-ing keys."

August 31, 2013
@2572. From "The Nodder," _The Best of Wodehouse_ 504:
"Quiet...Respectful...What's that word that begins with a 'd'?"

"Damn?"

"Deferential. And what's the word beginning with an 'o'?"

"Oyster?"

"Obsequious. That's what he is."

@2573. "I thought they used to be thrown out of nightclubs together." --Uncle Fred in the Springtime, _The Best of Wodehouse_, p. 532

@2574. "The firing of guns in bedrooms is always a thing that tends to excite the interest of the owner of a country house." --Uncle Fred in the Springtime, _The Best of Wodehouse_, p. 703

@2575. "Do These 7 Things and You'll Never Get Alzheimer's" --one very optimistic news headline

September 6, 2013
@2579. "So I'm not going to teach you the harmony, you make it up....Here's how it works: if you sing a note and it doesn't sound good, change it." --Dr. Aspaas

@2581. "You need to be the person who answers the CPU's "What next?" question. But it would be very uncomfortable to shrink you down to 5mm tall and insert you into the computer just so you could issue a command three billion times per second." --_Python for Informatics: Exploring Information_

@2588. "Wherever you are, if you hear or see a tornado coming, take cover right away." --St. Olaf safety webpage

@2591. According to a new survey, 53% of Protestants could not correctly identify Martin Luther as the person who started the Protestant Reformation. Seriously?
{BL #4531}

September 16, 2013
@2593. There's a book on display in Rolvaag somewhere titled "The Magnificent Wilf." Every time I walk by, I read it as "The Magnificent Wifi" and do a double-take.

@2596. In 1976, Chris Nicholl scored all four goals in a 2–2 draw between Aston Villa and Leicester City on 20 March 1976.

@2597. On October 25, 1964, in a game against the San Francisco 49ers, Minnesota Viking Jim Marshall recovered a fumble and ran 66 yards with it the wrong way into his own end zone. Thinking that he had scored a touchdown for the Vikings, Marshall then threw the ball away in celebration. The ball landed out of bounds, resulting in a safety for the 49ers. Despite this gaffe, the Vikings won the game, 27–22.

@2600. In college football, a conversion safety could also be scored by the defense. To accomplish this, the kicking team would have to retreat all the way back to their own end zone and then fumble the ball out of it or be tackled in it. While such a conversion safety has never been scored by the defense, it is the only possible way in which a team could finish with a single point in an American football game.

@2604.
"Permitted Uses: You may use your Account for Purchases, Balance Transfers and Cash Advances. You may not use it for illegal transactions...You will not earn cashback bonus on illegal transactions."
--Discover cardholder agreement

@2605. I accidentally called the Sexual Assault Resource Network instead of my voicemail. Fortunately they weren't open and I thought it was rather odd that dialing voicemail caused my call to be forwarded to an automated voice messaging system, so I noticed my error.

@2610. "Authentification error" --error message written on a whiteboard by IT

@2612. So this morning in the caf when it was time to clean up, I was asked to take care of the food waste and dirty dishes from our station. I had not done this before, so I was not quite sure what to do. However, I worked out I needed to go toward the kitchen, which I did. I then pushed the cart straight past the compost bin without seeing it and had to go back. Then I tried to take the cart into the kitchen again to drop off the dishes, and upon going in I knocked some seven steel trays to the ground, making a ridiculously loud noise. After I apologized for that, someone told me the dishes were supposed to go to the other dish room. Thinking this would finally be the end, I went over there, only to be told by those people that they actually did go in the kitchen! The guy back in the kitchen then got upset that I'd brought them back over to him, of course.

@2616. "The list of books on the secondary shelf has changed somewhat since the work began. At the start, I made use of a couple of books which seemed authoritative but eventually revealed themselves to be whimsical or worse. One was so deadly it became the only book I've ever destroyed as a menace to society." --Online Etymology Dictionary

@2617. "Calypso then attempts suicide, but, being immortal, is unable to end her life." --Wikipedia

@2618. "Alarm clocks are bound to gradually fall out of favor. Unlike hot dogs, they are already universally hated by their users." --SuperMemo sleep article

@2621. Today I finally got a good shave with my new safety razor. I'm starting to figure it out, I think -- didn't do anything else different. It was also the first day that I cut myself, so I'm hoping there's not a correlation there... :-)

@2623. "It was as if a light had been Nookd in a carved and painted lantern…"
http://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2012/06/nook-version-of-war-and-peace-turns-the-word-kindled-into-nookd/

@2624. "After papers have been accepted for publication, revisions should be submitted on one hard copy and on a 3.5-inch disk formatted in WordPerfect or Microsoft Word." --journal submission guidelines, 2013

@2625. "If a login doesn't work, try again up to 5 times." --instructions on whiteboard for malfunctioning Regents 203 computers

@2644. "I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." --Groucho Marx

October 3, 2013
@2650. Took a random typing test on my laptop keyboard with it on my lap: 117 WPM adjusted over a minute. Not too bad.

@2651. Random Thoughts has just hit line 10,000. (RT will also celebrate 4 years of existence in 4 days, on the 9th. And it's approaching 125,000 words.)

@2654. The Latin word for "manliness" is feminine. Love gendered languages...

@2655. "Hi I do not understand these things" --#ankiforums subject

@2656. "Error: cannot allocate vector of size 74.5 GB" --R

@2662. "Oh, look at that, there's those italic letters! What does *mmmp* mean?" --Dr. Aspaas

@2673. "Up at the crack of 1:30!" --someone in the dorm lounge making fun of a late riser

@2674. "To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, pour the water out, and put the cork in really fast before the air can get back in."

@2677. "Make the commas more commary."

@2684. On the way to the barbershop today I ran across a light to cross Highway 3. After you push the button, it says "Wait." And it continues to say "Wait" every five seconds. I get the idea...

@2685. Sturgeon's Law: 90% of everything is crap.

@2691. Psychiatrists Deeply Concerned for 5% of Americans Who Approve of Congress

@2692. "The train is not allowed to stop whilst on fire in the tunnel." --Wikipedia on the Channel Tunnel

October 17, 2013
@2694. "In a brief closed session with his Republican rank and file, Mr. Boehner told members to hold their heads high, go home, get some rest and think about how they could work better as a team." --New York Times article on the end of the government shutdown

I mean, that sounds like an Onion article.

@2695. This makes me laugh because it's such B.S.:
"One figure often repeated by industry mouthpieces like the MPAA is that $250 billion has been lost since torrents became a viable source for content acquisition, around 2003. The problem, as journalist Julian Sanchez discovered, was that the number was based on a 1993 Forbes article citing the overall economic damage from worldwide distribution of all counterfeit goods, from bootleg copies of Disney movies to badly stitched Levi's."

@2697. Sudden Language Revelations: I noticed that the German word for "discovery" is *Entdeckung*, and was trying to answer 'covering', for *Deckung*. And then I was like "but that's a stupid prefix, because it completely changes the word and it's not related to the root". But then I noticed we have the same thing in English, and that in fact it does make sense: to "discover" something is to literally remove the cover from it, so it's now understood and noticeable.

@2704. I'm trying to create a "mini" table of contents at the beginning of sections in my Maudiverse encyclopedia. The package is called "minitoc." After a dinner break, when I came back and looked at the command to activate it, "dominitoc," I read it as "Domini TOC" and was like, "Lord Table of Contents?"

(Hmm, I suppose it would really be "\the Table of Contents of the Lord".)

@2708. "It is risk free and legal." --end of a spam message

@2713. New, Improved Obamacare Program Released On 35 Floppy Disks

@2714. "R is not the tool you would choose for running an ATM." --The Art of R Programming

@2724. "N comes before M." --me, late at night
(See also #1628.)

@2725. "For external use only." --on a styptic pencil

@2728. "Meanwhile, Narcissus saw his own image in the poop." --#whoopstypo

@2737. Yesterday they had "biriyani" in the caf. To be fair, I was sick, but even so: that was the mildest Indian food I have tasted in my entire life. I had to *try* to taste the ginger, and I didn't notice any other spice at all (and if the food is good, you should be able to tell because your mouth feels different afterwards: nope, not at all). There was also cumin squash, which was marginally better, but even with it I don't think they popped the cumin right, and the squash itself was terrible and not as well-done as I would have liked. (It is really too late in the year for good summer squash.)

So, guess who will not be trying that dish again...

@2740. NRA Calls For Teachers To Keep Loaded Gun Pointed At Class For Entire School Day

@2741. "This isn't a ‘buying things' store!" --employee

@2743. So I'm sitting at the IT section of the circulation desk in the library and some guy comes by and asks for a paperclip. I go over and get them from another part of the desk, hold it out, let him take one, then take it back. When I come back, he says, "Nice pencil, by the way," holding up a Rotring 600 drafting pencil, and starts walking away. Now, this happened to be the pencil I was using at the time, so what my mind jumped to was that he had picked it up and borrowed it to write his name on the printout or something. So when I noticed he was walking away with it, I paused for a moment, then said, "Umm, may I have it back?" Then I looked down at the desk. My pencil was still there. He just happened to have been carrying the exact same pencil.

@2745. "I like talking to myself, have you noticed?" --me, to myself

@2747. Download Rate: 4543 B/s
Yay library St. Olaf wifi...

@2751.
Here's a problem with the "not ending a sentence with a preposition" thing:
"Identify the type of literary expression (genre) of the passage, or the larger unit *of which it is part* if it is not complete in itself."

I stumbled over this sentence when I reached 'if it', because I *expected* an 'of' there and instead there was what looked to be a typo, 'if.' It legitimately made the sentence more difficult to read.

@2754. "I should read instructions before complaining." --#ankiforums

@2758. I just had a great idea (or so I fancy): when you get a call on your cell phone, one of the options should be to play a message saying you can't answer instantly but if the person holds on, you'll pick up in just a moment. Like I was just in the library and got a call, and it finished ringing through before I could get out the door to a neutral place, so Papa spent two minutes recording a message only to get a call back right away.

@2761. I'm booking a Greyhound ticket from Minneapolis to Willmar for Thanksgiving. For the return trip, there's a choice of a three-hour trip during the afternoon or a fourteen-hour trip with two transfers in the middle of the night, for the same price. Hmm...

Update: I posted this on Facebook and about 5 people took the opportunity to come up with a silly reason for why I should take the long one, like "it's forced study time" or "the unit price is better."

@2762. Dr. Aspaas likes to call sightreading "fright-screaming."

@2766. Murphy's Law of Copiers: Whenever you are in a hurry, the copier will jam or process your job really slowly.

@2767. "It's like slices of meat. It needs to be like rockets in the sky." --Dr. Aspaas

@2769. I'm very amused by the Latin for "long": longus, -a, -um. Because it totally sounds like Dog Latin.

@2771. The Stock-Sanford Corollary to Parkinson's Law: If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute to do.

@2772. Someone in my dorm has decided the stairwell right outside my room is a great place to have a loud and very emotional argument on his cell phone.

@2773. "You have submitted your assignment submission." --email notification from Moodle
{BL #7645}

@2774. Random Fact of the Day. Since I was about four, I've noticed that cursors always go completely off two of the edges of monitors so that you can no longer see them, but stubbornly stay on two others. (They go off the right and bottom but stick on the left and top--try it.) I finally realized why: Since the point is at the upper-left-hand corner of the cursor, for the left and top sides, when that tip of the cursor touches the edge, you've reached the edge of the clickable region, so there's no reason to make the cursor go further. But on the other sides, if the system didn't let the cursor go off the screen, there would be stuff on the edges you couldn't click. (If you move the cursor all the way into the lower-right-hand corner of the screen and look very carefully, you should *just* be able to see the point there.)

@2781. Today I was standing in line to take a cookie and the person in front of me dropped the tongs on the floor. He paused for a moment, then carefully picked them up and, not knowing what to do with them, put them back on the plate for use. I couldn't help laughing even in front of him--it was something about the way he did it. He kind of gave me a look...

@2791. Back on Choral Day, we were singing "E'en so, Lord Jesus, Quickly Come." There's this beautiful pianissimo suspension into a dominant seventh in the tenor part at the end. The guy next to me, though, kept dropping with the other parts and singing the lower note, which sounded utterly terrible and dissonant, but apparently he didn't notice this. I pointed his mistake out at least once, maybe even twice. Finally, after hearing it about five times, I leaned and directed my voice in his direction as non-rudely but obviously as possible and sang it forte (no doubt some other people wondered what that moron was doing singing this line forte).

He figured it out, though. A couple of seconds after the piece finished, he said, quote, "Ohh."

@2792. "I'm the one that spills the tea in this relationship." --#overheard in the lobby of the library, one woman to another

@2793. "It's like you make eye contact with someone you really like to make eye contact with." --Dr. Aspaas

@2795. I saw a flyer on a kiosk yesterday. The heading said "Free Baked Goods" and the sub-heading said "Earn Up to $15." I puzzled for a few minutes how these were related, so much that I had to go out of my way on my way back just to go past the kiosk again and satisfy my curiosity. I had gotten the right hypothesis in the end: they were two different parts of a reward for the same thing, participation in some sort of study. But what throws you off is the juxtaposition of the "free" and the "$15." You think it's offering you $15 for making "free" baked goods or something.

@2798. Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

@2799. Hmm...is it "troubleshooted" or "troubleshot"? Both sound weird.

@2801. "Firefox Made Me Happy" / "Firefox Made Me Sad" --buttons on the page you get when you choose "feedback" from the help menu

@2806. (in a calm and friendly tone) "I hope to never see you again."
--#overheard in the hall between Buntrock and Rolvaag

@2813. In Great Con on Friday, Prof. Kuxhausen brought in some European wafers and cookies and stuff. One of them was shrink-wrapped, so she asked if anyone had a pocketknife, and I grabbed mine and opened the package. Someone then asked, "Why do you carry a pocketknife?" This was rather puzzling to me: in any other situation it might have been a reasonable question, but I would have thought that a situation in which you just needed a pocketknife would have been Exhibit A for why one would carry a pocketknife.

@2815. So I'm sitting in the library this morning with a few other people, and every so often there's this really annoying notification sound. (Also, at one point, there was a "You've got mail!", but I'm not sure if that was actually related or not.) After it repeats a few times, I'm giving dirty looks to the people sitting at the table across from me, and they're giving dirty looks to me, so I figure it's not their fault (and I'm certain it's not my fault since my computer is off, my phone is on silent, and I've never heard the sound before in my life).

Shortly I do what any good IT person would do and use my stopwatch to see if it is going off consistently. It turns out it is -- just about every two minutes. It was pretty easy, then, to locate the one backpack sitting between our two tables and put my ear up to it right before the timer sounded, and sure enough, it was coming from there. Although I'm not a huge fan of going through other people's stuff, I opened up the backpack and found a phone that had a new message and felt it had to make a loud noise informing everyone on the fourth floor of the library of this fact thirty times an hour. There was an "ignore" button, which I pressed, and...silence. (I'd gone to lunch when the person came back; I hope she didn't think someone had stolen stuff from or searched her backpack. And I say 'she' because I had seen her come in earlier.)

@2818. "It's always good knowing the truth." --after I replied with (and apologized for) a long page of text fully explaining the issue on #ankiforums

@2824. There's a particularly amusing/egregious typo on the Christmas Fest hymn sheet for this year: "Behold, the dessert blossoms, the dry land becomes like spring."
{BL #6043, #8834}

@2837. "Oh my God, the president's been shot by me." --Onion article about the JFK assassination

@2838. "WonderShare MobileGo for iOS" --software recommended by a how-to site

@2842. "mutually explosive"

@2851. Dear RStudio: Resizing the plot window really shouldn't cause a fatal error the next time I try to graph something. Kindly stop it.

@2854. One of the funnier business names I've seen in a while: "Transfer Everything to DVD." It's descriptive...

@2855. Also, "Pindrop Hearing."

@2857. "Did a bear bite you?" --Chapel speaker's son to speaker, upon hearing he'd had a bad day

@2858. "Fractuating knowledge is good." --#ankiforums attempt to explain the minimum information principle
(There are about 397 hits on Google for "fractuating" -- most of them appear to be typos of "fluctuating.")

@2862. "This new industry standards-based thin connector delivering data, power, and video is the only connector one will need across all devices."

Gee, where I have I heard that one before? I dunno, USB standards 1.0, 1.1, 2.0, 2.1, 3.0...and like every other connector ever created?

@2864. "Does anyone have one or two light sabers I could borrow at 9am on Friday?" --stolaf-extra post

@2865. "There's two types of people in the world. Those that pee in the shower, and liars." --Lifehacker commenter

December 6, 2013
@2868. (to general laughter) "I think I agree with what Colin says more than what Aristotle says."

@2869. I bet: "The NSA said it does not intentionally target Americans' whereabouts but gets such data 'incidentally.'"

@2870. "It's been 10 hours and she hasn't fucking responded." --a student at 10:00 PM, referring to an email he sent to his Spanish professor
{BL CB54.43}

@2877. "We are in a PDF attachment." --Google Voice #transcription of a voicemail from Grandpa, saying he'd emailed a PDF of tickets to me

@2878. "Thanks man , now I can type more word !" --#ankiforums user after I told them that the 'tab' key moves between text boxes

@2880. Dr. Aspaas wore a different vest for each night of the Christmas Festival. Then today he emailed us a poll to ask which one he should wear for the last performance. It was a three-way tie, so twice during the concert he ducked out and changed his vest.

@2885. "If I can't get health advice from the comments section of a tech blog then what's the point of the internet?"

@2886. "Error: unexpected } in }"
{BL #5086}

December 11, 2013
@2889. "What Groupon is about is great deals, great service, and medieval catapults." --another parody of Amazon's drone delivery program

@2898. A guy across the room from my fourth-floor table just flung his chair to the ground and said, "Fuck finals."

@2911. "Assuming "winter solstice" is winter solstice." --Wolfram|Alpha
I'd say that's a fair assumption.

@2913. "Tell him: One who puts on armor should not brag like one who takes it off." --1 Kings 20:11

@2914. So back at Christmas Fest (wow, that feels like ages ago now -- it's not even a week!), Ole Choir sang "Bring a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella." There's one line that goes, "It is Jesus, good folk of the village." Something about their enunciation made me catch it on the dress rehearsal night, loud and clear, as "It is Jesus, who'll fuck up the village." I continued to hear this on Thursday and also on Sunday (Saturday it was much clearer, Friday it was in the middle). On Wednesday it was so bad that I literally had to take out my program to figure out what they'd *actually* said.

@2935. "If allusions to racism, especially for the purpose of satirizing racism and its cousins, are confused with racism itself, then I think it is time to stop writing." --Douglas Hofstadter

@2971. SSID: "FBI Suveillance Van" (too bad they spelled it wrong)

December 26, 2013
@2977. "I'd rather have a baby than get my teeth cleaned." --#overheard in the waiting room at the dentist
{BL #7686}

@2989. I just shivered and knocked the headphones off my head.

@2993. "Some people say they turned straight? So what? Some people tell me I can enlarge my penis by 50% in two weeks or less."

@2997. "Toenails are stupid." --me

@3005. "Do not discharge at people's faces." --on a kitchen fire extinguisher

@3010. "You do it on purpose," she says, "to make more look stupid. I am not stupid. I have read several books." --Naseem, _Midnight's Children_

@3012. "Selfish? Narrow-minded? Well, perhaps; but excusably so, in my opinion. After all, one is not born every day." --_Midnight's Children_

@3013. "You complete fools! Brothers of cockroaches! Sons of transvestites!" --Doctor Schaapsteker, _Midnight's Children_

@3014. "That was the day on which taxes were raised and tax thresholds simultaneously lowered; my father flung down the /Times of India/ with a violent gesture and glared around him...'It's like going to the bathroom!' he exploded, cryptically... 'You raise your shirt and lower your trousers!'" --Saleem's father, _Midnight's Children_

@3016. He issued a proclamation explaining that the car represented the future, and must be allowed to pass; the people ignored the notice, although it was pasted to shop-fronts and walls and even, it is said, to the sides of cows....The third notice, which was adorned with a gory drawing, said that the car would henceforth run down anybody who failed to obey its horn...."No trouble; the car is respected now. Progress has occurred." --_Midnight's Children_

@3017. "In a country where the truth is what it is instructed to be, reality quite literally ceases to exist, so that everything becomes possible except what we are told is the case." --_Midnight's Children_

@3018. "But what I learned from the Widow's Hand is that those who would be gods fear no one so much as other potential deities; and that, that and that only, is why we, the magical children of midnight, were hated feared destroyed by the Widow, who was not only Prime Minister of India but also aspired to be Devi, the Mother-goddess in her most terrible aspect." --_Midnight's Children_

@3019. "Parvati-the-witch, by marrying me, fell victim to the curse of violent death that hangs over all my people...I do not know...whether [Shiva] left her to the bulldozers...because now the machines of destruction were in their element, and the little hovels of the shanty-town were slipping sliding crazily beneath the force of the irresistible creatures, huts snapping like twigs, the little paper parcels of the puppeteers and the magic baskets of the illusionists were being crushed into a pulp; the city was being beautified, and if there were a few deaths, if a girl with eyes like saucers and a pout of grief upon her lips fell beneath the advancing juggernauts, well, what of it." --_Midnight's Children_

@3020. "A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

@3022. "With a good book, all delays are short." --me

@3028. "What's more, researchers found those who reported sexting in the past six months were four to seven times more likely to also engage in other sexual behaviors."

Oh really?

@3032. "According to the science of numerology..."
Some science.

@3036. "I don't know about you folks, but if I had 48 bombs in my car, I would be sure to drive as carefully as possible and not speed."

@3037. "Relying on a dizzying array of symbols ('sigils') for even basic stuff, Perl code is utterly opaque. We already have a set of symbols we use to communicate meaning - they're called 'words.'"

@3047. "Wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. And radio operates exactly the same way.  The only difference is that there is no cat." --(attrib. to) Albert Einstein

@3055. I know. The *American* way to fix this is just to spend more than I have. It's easy.

@3056. "You're a sophomore, don't think about your future." --#overheard in the library

@3059. "I don't *wanna* go to the library." --#overheard in the hall during finals

@3067. "For Paperwork Reduction Act Notice, see the separate instructions."

@3070. "All [of Julius'] schemes were cancelled by his assassination." --Suetonius, _The Twelve Caesars_

@3086. "Faculty/Staff/Copier Room"
The place where the copiers relax and eat lunch?

@3088. There's going to be a presentation on campus about the experiences of survivors from modern wars. Rather unfortunately, it's being held in the room called "Valhalla"...

@3089.
At lunch, someone looking at a sign on the table:
Them: "Reserved for Spanish Interim Lunches."
Me: (flipping sign) "Or Pasta Salad with Basil Vinaigrette. Take your pick."

@3090. "Paper syncs with everything." --_Mindhacker_

@3092.
"Like earlier horse-phones..."
(http://www.deadmedia.org/notes/25/252.html)

@3099. "The solution came when she asked me to check that the 30 amp twist and lock plug was securely seated in the wall outlet. Turns out, since there was no 30 amp outlet in the room, they had cut the plug off and put a 15 amp plug in its place."

@3100. "It just hasn't worked the same since I dropped it in that cup of coffee."

@3104. Apparent Roman superstition: when your ears are ringing, a conversation about you is taking place (at which you are not present).
I like this quite a bit, actually.

@3105. Waltz, dumb nymph, for quick jigs vex.

@3107. "You know what would be really awesome? Two monocles." --#overheard on campus

@3115. "STOIC NERO (a fictional construct)" --column on the whiteboard in Great Con

@3122. "In truth, though, we already know what we need to do, and we have for a long time. We just don't like the answers." --_The Conundrum_

@3123. "Forget all that. Just tell me what to buy." --_The Conundrum_

January 20, 2014
@3125. "Discontinue Starvation and Put Away Your Dumbbells" --spam email headline

@3126. "'Automating comes from the roots 'auto-', meaning 'self-', and 'mating', meaning 'screwing.'" --xkcd 1319 alt text

@3133. "Where are my glasses? ...Oh, they're on my face." --me, too many times

@3135. "Requiring a judge's order for searches, however, would appeal to many privacy advocates, but intelligence leaders say such a change is needless, cumbersome, and will slow investigations."

It would also, you know, follow the law.

@3136. "Either you know what you're doing or you broke GTK theming and don't know how to fix it." --IT staff member looking at my laptop screen (CB9.39)

@3137. Soren uses ANKI! It's super effective! (CB9.59)

@3138. "Call me naïve, but I was expecting there to be at least some *music* in the *music* folder we checked out from the *music* library." --CB9.59-60

@3143. "What's wrong with me going out of state? Come on, Mom, you went to *Greece*." --#overheard in the vestibule of the library (phone conversation)

January 21, 2014
@3146. "A state of emergency is a governmental declaration that announces that the country is in a state of emergency." --Wikipedia

@3148. "If you can comment out code and your program still works, then yes, that code was optional." --StackOverflow user

@3149. I find it rather amusing that Simple has a big "+" button at the top of the app (for depositing checks or transferring money). It makes good intuitive sense, but it's still pretty funny to have a button that you push to get more money.

@3150. "[Perl] combines the power of C with the readability of PostScript."

January 22, 2014
@3157. "But a lot of people were divine, weren't they, back in the day?" --Maria

@3159. "First-Class Mail prices are the same regardless of how far the mail travels. That's a great deal!" --USPS
Uh, no, that depends entirely on where you're sending it. Basic mathematics?

@3160. "The simplest [logic gate] is the NOT gate, which takes a single input and gives a single output.  It's like a bratty child.  When the input is true, it produces an output of false.  When the input is false, it produces true."

@3164. "It's about giving freedom to the code." / "I dunno about you, but I've never had any code I've written pass a Turing test then demand emancipation." --exchange on Slashdot

@3165. "RMS has a distressing habit of being proven right."

@3166. "I know, I'll print my reference sheet in Webdings." --me

@3171. "If I wanted an app to nag me about being happy, I'd use the phone app and call my mom." --Lifehacker comment

@3175. My in-tray is now empty. Although that's because I dumped it into a box.

@3177. "The TSA claims that theft [of travelers' electronic devices] isn't widespread, since *only* 1 in 200 officers have been terminated for stealing."

@3180. "Normally, at the point of the discussion where someone states that he or she is 'out of here,' I would go on discussing the topic instead of commenting on this person's contributions to it. But, apparently, you are *not* out of here, and so I try to understand what your problem with a forum is where everybody tries to help you, even after you insulted them. That one of us gave an insult back...should not really make you wonder." --forum response of the month
(Update 2021-02-05: I thought about this randomly today and think it may in fact be my favorite forum post ever. It's snarky, epitomizes the nastiness internet discussions can end up mired in, and is highly memorable.)

@3181. "I don't care about backups, I only care about restores."

@3191. Tried to download a zip of music (Philharmonia concert recordings). Firefox identified the file as 17 EB and said it would be 657936775 days to completion (at one point; it varied by several thousands of years as the instantaneous download speed changed).

@3202. "What is ephemera?" --advertisement on St. Olaf TV

@3206. There's something in Lost Scriptures titled "The Epistle of the Apostles." I'm sorry, that just sounds hilarious. (It sounds like a goofy Dr. Seuss book.)

@3209. I've noticed that when I get up early, I'm invariably quiet and careful to respect people who are still sleeping, but when I stay up late, I'm often loud and obnoxious (unintentionally). It's like in the evening, you naturally assuming everyone else is still awake. This kind of does explain why people are so rude late at night sometimes (besides the times when they're drunk, but I'm not just talking about those times). I'm not sure if it's something about having just gotten up versus being tired and soon to go to bed, or something intrinsic about the evening versus the morning, or what.
{BL #2918}

@3214. This sounds like an aphorism (said by Eric at the library desk):
"You can't put pancakes in a panini maker."

@3215. Research shows that people tend to cheat only as much as they can without realizing they're cheating.

@3219. "I stomp in puddles, I roll my windows down in the rain, and I print my name. God, it's good being an adult." --Lifehacker commenter

January 29, 2014
@3226. "I shouldn't sing in the library." --me

@3229. "There. Timothy gives us offensive texts when we need them for speeches." --me

@3230. "Oh. Revelation isn't a gospel." --me

@3231. My magstripe had stopped working, so I called and asked for a new one and said if there was a small fee that was no problem. The response: "You can request as many cards as you'd like free of charge with Discover."

I wonder what they'd do if I called every day for the next month and asked for a new card.

@3235. "It's unfortunately not very difficult to have a child." --CB6.12

@3237. "According to a news release from the American Cancer Society (ACS), the diagnosis of cancer in children and adolescents is 'a life-altering event' for them 'as well as their families.'"
No shit.

@3238. "However I'm not a programmist." --#ankiforums
{BL #8408}

@3245.
< s-vektori> any comments on good beginning strategy
< chao> don't die
< bcode> s-vektori: don't die;
< theRaisse> s-vektori: don't die

@3246.
<anselmus> the EXORCIST, man
<anselmus> fucking*
<Muad> that's the most confusing use of this* notation i've ever seen

@3254. "Media collection fractured" --#ankiforums subject

@3255. "I literally have not left this room all day. Oh, I went to the microwave to make tea this morning." --me

@3256. "What kind of college doesn't give out complimentary annual planners?" --ridiculous trolling post about STO on some forum

@3257. "Please remember to leave the vehicle ready for the next member.  Clean up any trash or spills, return seats to upright position, remove keys from ignition, and ___turn off the lights and engine.___" --Enterprise Car Share terms of use

@3258. I have four videos in my YouTube "watch later" list. They're completely random, and I'm pretty sure they're all things I've put there by clicking that little button by mistake.

@3263. "You're probably not supposed to sit on top of the washing machine, but who cares? There's not a sign saying 'don't sit on the washing machine.'" --me

@3264. Changelog for a Morse code app: "Resolved an issue where z is sometimes displayed as q."

@3265. "In addition, you can expect to find 0.000729 wands of wishing on average in the Minetown quality apparel and accessories shop." --NetHackWiki

@3268. I think this wins the contest for most clearly fake etymology: "quisquis" and "couscous" are related.

@3272. "I'm a leárned person."

February 10, 2014
@3273. "All we would like is just the code and information of the Anki Web build, and we will take it and make it our own." --#ankiforums
That's all. Nothing much.

@3274. "We do not know what to do. We would like to petition God, but we have not got his address. He is the only person we have not petitioned yet."

@3277. "The invitation has a type-o."

@3278. "I wrote a picture on that in high school." --#overheard on campus

@3282. There is a proposed method of creating a pseudorandom character sequence by having a user unfamiliar with vi seated in front of an open editor and asking him to exit the program.

@3283. My section leaders scheduled our sectional during Sunday morning chapel. Seriously? I mean, I understand if you don't go to church, but it's kind of common knowledge that a sizable portion of the population does this on Sunday mornings. You just don't schedule things on Sundays before noon, I thought that was common sense...

@3288. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bVAoVlFYf0
"Discrimination law is probably the queen."
"Give up on the rise for radiation."
"Tune in and slam the door."
"Give up / You cannot do it back in."
"Let us very angry."

@3289. Inspired by that, I attempted a few corruptions of my own here, which follow. Mostly from my Maudiverse letters of late, which are hilarious because they use unusual wording and a sort of lyric style that does even more to throw off the translator than usual.

@3290. "If you kiss your child, or your wife, says he is kissing a man, then [] when she dies, she will not be broken" --Google Translate corruption of Epictetus

@3293.
English -> Spanish -> French -> German -> Latin -> English translation of "The Springs beckon. All is ready; come and be cleansed and refreshed.":
"In your six aircraft. Everything is ready for cleaning and at my coming they are refreshed."

@3305. "Finally, the great customer service of Comcast combines with the competitive pricing of Time Warner to create a single convenient entity to steer public policy with targeted campaign funding." --Slashdot comment, on the merger of aforementioned companies

@3306. "On a scale of one to ten, I would give Comcast a one. I would give TWC a zero. So a Comcast takeover could be a win for consumers."

@3308. "You know something? That virus is illegal in all 50 states except one. Michigan. And you know who wrote it? I did."

@3313. "What kind of cameras do you have?" / "Umm...ones that work." --STO library desk worker

@3314. Lewis' Law: "Comments on any article about feminism justify feminism."

@3336. "Well, as long as you kill me out of love, I think we're good." --Great Con discussion

February 18, 2014
@3342. "The difference between screwing around and science is writing it down." --Adam Savage

@3351. Was doing the sociology reading by Wright C. Mills and caught myself considering how well I liked the "translation" in the middle. I've been reading so much translated stuff in the past semester that I've practically forgotten the possibility that the words on the page might actually be the ones the author selected...

@3356. "Uh...bears can't read."
{BL #9997}

@3357. "You can't print double-sided transparencies?"

@3358. "Hey, I love Microsoft Word! By which I mean Word 5.1 for Macintosh, which next month will be old enough to vote."

@3359. "So no, LibreOffice is not a solution; it's a crappier version of a terrible program."

@3366. "I expect a water bottle to be able to survive contact with water. This one didn't." --Amazon review

@3367. The Helpdesk has a copy of Adobe Photoshop Elements 2.0 and a 16MB Sony MemoryStick, among other things, but it does not have any paperclips.

@3368. "Pictures courtesy of GOOGLE" --credits in a music video

@3375. "The NSA is the only branch of government that actually listens to people."

@3380. American Airlines To Phase Out Complimentary Cabin Pressurization

@3383.
Additionally, the medieval concept of time was that of a spiral continuously growing upwards, the assumption being that history repeats itself, albeit never in precisely the same manner. Within the spiralling form it is possible to look both forwards or backwards along a curve and view the course of events almost horizontally (or as a continuous ring), or follow certain points from one curve to another, vertically. This results in the past being remarkably close to the present.

February 27, 2014
@3385. "I had to tell the manager that I burnt up something in the microwave. I didn't tell him that it was socks. I didn't want him to think I was stupid."

@3387. On this subjunctive forms Latin reference sheet, it's evident that whoever made it applied all the macrons using little lines from the drawing tools in Microsoft Word -- they're not quite on-center, and there are still tittles on the i's, with the macrons overlapping. It kind of makes me laugh realizing that someone must have spent the time to drag all those lines into place instead of learning how to input diacritics pröpērlý...

@3388. "Larger fonts, smaller Americans" --headline about a change in "nutrition facts" panels

@3389. Prof. Reece told us a story about Dr. Felland, the university's first classics professor, known as the "absentminded professor." One day he showed up to speak in Chapel with his suit but no tie. (At the time, of course, this was a big deal -- and would be a little bit silly even today.) People must have been looking at him funny or something, because he noticed, and without missing a beat, he announced, "The opening hymn for today will be 'Blest Be the Tie that Binds.'" Then he ran back to his office and got a tie.

@3396. "You can't sell movies you haven't seen, without knowing if they're any good. It's the law!"

@3397. "Many forms of Government have been tried and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time." --Churchill

@3403.
It's funny, I feel like there'd be a U-shaped graph if you were to plot "amount of knowledge someone has" against "acceptability of saying 'I don't know.'"

People with very little knowledge are usually okay saying they don't know. People with a lot amount of knowledge are typically more secure with what they know, and are willing to admit when they don't. The dangerous ones are the ones in the middle. My experience is that the people who are willing to overcome that insecurity and keep asking questions will push through to become experts, and those that are too scared to admit their ignorance will put up a bigger and bigger front, never growing in their abilities.

A lot of that last group become the infamously inept middle managers that people joke about.

--Lifehacker comment

@3411. Speaking of which, I was walking across campus behind two people the other day, and one of them said that Latin was like "math for words." I kind of like that.

@3433. "Somebody made a mistake, and that somebody was me." --me

@3434. "This is a three-handed procedure." --me

@3435. "Is homework more important than God? Huh? Huh?" --#overheard on campus on the way to Chapel, when someone said he wasn't going

@3437. Also, they put up little signs that say "tree work ahead" about ten feet before where they're working, which are kind of superfluous when there's a thirty-foot-tall cherry-picker there.

March 9, 2014
@3438. "Deck progress leads a double life" --#ankiforums subject

@3439. "The least wrong thing we can say about God is that God is love." --someone at St. John's monastery; see also #2919
{BL §SingingLessWrong}

@3441. Bullshit of the Day: "I don't think there's a company on Earth that cares more deeply about human rights than Apple does." --Tim Cook (CEO)

@3442. Dr. Aspaas told us when we were at the choir event last weekend that we should follow the "bathroom rule," which says that you should not criticize anyone else at an event until you've left. The name comes from the idea of going into the bathroom with someone you know and complaining about someone who then turns out to be in a stall listening to you.
(Cf. §BathroomRule.)

@3460. "One more time, officer, I am NOT calling or texting! I am uploading a picture of my citation to Pinterest!"

@3461. "It's hard to hear music from that distance, particularly when your ears were just hit by (a) a sonic boom, and (b) pieces of a rapidly disintegrating stereo." --What If

March 13, 2014
@3462. I merged the two pronunciations of Dvorak today: /D'vórahk/.

@3467. I was relieved earlier this year when we were reading the _Confessions_ (which I really liked, BTW) to find that Augustine mentions lying in bed in the morning and not wanting to get up. If it was a problem for Saint Augustine, in the fourth century, I think we can safely bet it's a universal human problem.

@3470. Someone on #nethack said the phrase "Astral Antshield" to describe the phenomenon where summon insects actually helps you because it blocks more powerful monsters from getting to you. I think that has to be a #bandname or something of the sort.

@3472. I went to make a copy of a document that was on really crunched paper this evening and remarked on how really amazing photocopiers are when you stop to think about it. You shove some paper in the slot at the top, push a few buttons, and in a few moments an exact duplicate of what you put in shows up in the bottom tray. Would probably have seemed like the coolest thing ever to someone from a century ago.

@3473. "I love you, man, you saved me a lot. god bless you. happy new year. happy birthday.....happy for your life" --#ankiforums

@3476. "I think you own this one." --to someone returning books at the library desk

@3490. "I'm just pulling code out of my ass here and hoping it works." --me (CB15.47)

@3494. "The spread of computers and the Internet will put jobs in two categories. People who tell computers what to do, and people who are told by computers what to do." --Mac Andreesen, 2012 (creator of Netscape)

@3495. "Well, if there's so much rubbish [on the Web], if it's rubbish, don't read it. Go read something else." --Tim Berners-Lee

@3496. "'Russia is the only country in the world that is realistically capable of turning the United States into radioactive ash,' television presenter Dmitry Kiselyov said on his weekly current affairs show....Kiselyov was named by President Vladimir Putin in December as the head of a new state news agency whose task will be to portray Russia in the best possible light."

Doing a great job at that, ain't he?

@3500. "Conservatives who actually conserve are about as rare these days as liberals who actually liberate." --JMG

@3501. Having recursive deja vu: thinking I remember a previous time that seems oddly similar when I was having deja vu. (This happens to me with some regularity...)

@3503. Extreme Multitasking: Saw a guy in the Rolvaag bathroom texting/phone-using at the urinal. I mean seriously, how long does it take to pee? Like 25 seconds? Is that really time you can't spare?
{BL #7649}

@3506. "The conclusion is that either people are in a big rush to learn about computers, or that computers are somehow fabulously easier to learn than anything else."
http://norvig.com/21-days.html

@3511. "If someone wants to sell wine and to sell the use of wine, he sells the same thing twice or sells what does not exist---a clear sin against justice." --Aquinas, (on Politics and Ethics), p.74
The RIAA should take a look at this.

@3514. "Rocks do calculus when they roll down hills, since they always make sure to only move a distance which exactly matches the integral over time of their velocity. Circles do calculus too, since they always choose their area such that it corresponds to the integral over their radius of a circumference." --Slashdot comment

@3520. "These are automatic cookies." --me
(i.e. processed)

@3521. "Rather than have one person mocked for asking a serious question and another person flattered for answering with a smart lie, I would, if I did not know the true answer, simply say I do not know." --Augustine, /Confessions/ (265)

@3522. "People want a transgressive knowledge of others' lives, but are blissfully ignorant of what might change their own." --Augustine, /Confessions/

@3523. "The memory must, instead, be a kind of mental belly." --Augustine, /Confessions/ (224)

@3524. "All desire to take joy in the truth. I have met many who enjoy lying to others, but none who enjoy being lied to themselves." --Augustine, /Confessions/ (232)

@3525. "Who will help me to rejoin you [God]? Should I employ angelic agencies? If so, by what approach? What forms should I submit?" --Augustine, /Confessions/ (252)

@3526. "...yet all we aspired to was some carefree worldly joy--the very thing this beggar had already gained and we might never gain at all." --Augustine, /Confessions/ (117)

@3527. "A man honest in small things is honest in large ones." --quot. in Augustine, /Confessions/ (124)

@3528. "There is not a way to predict the future, though human hunches often have the luck of the draw. If men say enough, some of what they say will happen, not because they foreknew it--they just chanced on it by not keeping silent." --Augustine, /Confessions/, on astrology (142)

@3529. "There is not only no evil in you, there is no evil in anything you made....Some things, because they do not fit with others, are thought to be evil, though they are good where they do fit, and good in themselves." --Augustine, /Confessions/ (151)

@3530. "Till now you used to claim that you could not escape encumbrance with hollow things because you were not sure of the right course; but now you are sure, and yet are still encumbered--while wings have long since lifted free men's shoulders, who did not spend ten years and more considering if they should fly." --Augustine, /Confessions/ (174)

@3531. "For monks who in a week's time say less than the full psalter with the customary canticles betray extreme indolence and lack of devotion in their service." --Rule of St. Benedict chptr. 18

@3537. "You may have noticed we are running *a little bit late*. We are running about five hours late." --Amtrak conductor's actual words

@3539. "No! Don't thank me, fix the problem!"
{BL #6009}

@3545. Output volume at 100%, still couldn't hear anything...turns out I put my headphones on my head but didn't plug them in.

@3552. "What makes a frog romantic?" --me, reading a description in a catalog

@3553. "Having dismissed the captain's wife, Stepan Arkadyich picked up his hat and paused, wondering whether he had forgotten anything. It turned out that he had forgotten nothing, except what he had wanted to forget -- his wife." --_Anna Karenina_, p.9
{BL CB36.12}

@3554. "'To the Anglia, then,' said Stepan Arkadyich, choosing the Anglia because he owed more in the Anglia than in the Hermitage. He therefore considered it not nice to avoid that hotel."

@3556. "'When I was young, I was in love with a beadle,' said Princess Miagky. 'I don't know whether that helped me or not.'" (138)

@3557. "In fact, Kitty kept her new views and feelings hidden from her mother. She kept them hidden, not because she did not respect or love her mother, but because she was her mother. She would sooner have revealed them to anyone than to her mother." (225)

@3558. "Sergei Ivanovich...liked fishing and seemed to take pride in being able to like such a stupid occupation." (240)

@3559. "Do you think they'll ask us what's *in* the books?" --on a student's note found inside a used book, regarding an upcoming exam

@3560. "Student loans haven't made education "affordable," they've made education accessible. That's a huge difference. Once you access your education, you still have to pay for it. And if you've happened to access more education than you can afford, well, you're going to have a hell of a time "accessing" other life goals: like a house, a car, or a modicum of financial security. "

@3562. #overheard someone on the South Shore train asking the person next to em if it wouldn't be nice to live right next to the train station because "you wouldn't have to worry about parking." The other person replied no, because of the noise and because "hooligans" from the station would always be around. Have these people ever heard of living within walking distance of but not right next to a place?

@3564. "We do not foresee any emergencies today." --conductor on the Empire Builder

@3565. An actual Metra station name seen from the train: "The Glen of North Glenview Station"

@3566. For some reason one of the coach cars has a sign on the door that says "Please wait to be seated." I wondered if I'd somehow gone the wrong way to the lounge car when I ran into it...

@3567. According to the Amtrak tracker, the 7/27 train will be arriving on time, but the 807 (you know, the one attached to the back of this train) will be arriving 32 minutes early.
(Over the course of the day, the earliness margin for 807 has been gradually diminishing, but the 7/27 remains on time.)

@3569. "2. It is not okay to threaten to rape people in this group."
You know you have a great group on the internet when this is one of the rules (number two, moreover).

@3570. "If two people make the same mistake and one of them is a bank, the person who is not a bank is wrong. It's the american way."

@3572. Read about a guy on the news today who was accepted to all eight Ivy League schools. I couldn't help but note that I did better than him on the SAT. :-)

@3576. Benefits of Latin for lazy people: If you forget to write a word, you can just drop it somewhere else in the sentence and it will still be right.

@3581. Reading an otherwise very boring book on Chartres Cathedral (it just goes on and on and basically just describes every single window in prose, with tiny reproductions and a very few actually interesting blown up ones) for Great Con. There's a window that has all the months and signs of the zodiac, and three of them have the wrong month inscribed. How do you do that?

@3587. Thought that there are two kinds of abbreviation, syntactic and semantic. Syntactic abbreviation is writing the same word or morpheme in a shorter way, like "p." instead of "page", or like Speedwords taken in an English shorthand style. (The words known in the latter have a tendency to creep into and change one's way of writing if writing from one's head, at least for me, but let's assume transcribing already-written text.) Semantic abbreviation is writing things in a different way and leaving out words. So a semantic abbreviation of the previous sentence could be "Semantic -- _differently_ (fewer/different words)." Of course in all likelihood you'd combine them ("Semantic -- _diff._ (</diff. words)")

I'm not sure exactly why this theory is important except that maybe there's a difference in the intelligibility of the two types either to others vs. oneself or over time. Or something of the kind. Thought I should explain it while I was thinking about it though.

@3588.
Running total of voicemail messages on my room phone:
- 5 blank
- 0 with content

@3591. "The part that the 'in'-group sings is very simple. The reason for this is that the 'in'-group, itself, is very simple." --Peter, Paul & Mary live

@3592. So apparently when you share your own item on Facebook, you get messages like "Soren Bjornstad shared Soren Bjornstad's album" and (even worse) "Soren Bjornstad shared your album."

@3594. Chen just had his bike stolen...a couple of days after winning a competition for designing a bike lock.

@3595. "Don't forget to pay your seller." --eBay "tip"

@3596. In a recent test, 84% of Americans couldn't correctly locate Ukraine on a map, despite all the recent coverage. Sigh. (See also #2591 -- even worse!)

@3599. "The only real solid advice I've heard [on staying hydrated] is that if you're thirsty, you should drink some water." --What If

@3602. Had a thought that (in my opinion) there's hardly anything that's more fun to sing than a really good bass line. (But it's also pretty easy to make a horrifically boring one.)

@3603. My STO username rendering of "bjornsta" has now caused me to write my last name as "Bjornsta" on more than one occasion...

@3604. Apparently hippopotamuses injure more people worldwide than any other animal.

@3607. "The Attorney General will not cast aspersions on my asparagus!"

@3610. "Green tea is the healthiest beverage on the planet."
What about water? All being necessary for life and all.

@3611. "Green tea may reduce your risk of dying"
Yeah, I bet. (#3373, #2129)

@3612. "If I based every software purchasing decision on whether or not the company CEO was a prick, I wouldn't have many products left to choose from." --Slashdot comment

@3616. "As a general rule, I refrain from writing about my blog on my blog because regular readers of my blog come to my blog to read my blog, not to read about it." --Benjamin Studebaker

@3618. "Sir, I have a doubt, please help me out" --#ankiforums

@3619. I just tried to turn up the volume on my music because I wanted more light...

@3620. "If we want to hear you sing, we'll come to a concert!" --Ellingson 2nd floor resident, yelling at the Limestones, who were performing in our stairwell during quiet hours

@3622. Also, there's this metaphor earlier in the chapter (not invented by the authors of the book) likening the process of a country growing economically to "the journey of an airplane." In it, however, the airplane never lands. Note to him: there's that whole nasty thing where "what goes up must come down."

April 17, 2014
@3623. "What is it, dayswithoutrage.com?" --#overheard from the back of the IT Helpdesk

@3624. "Sometimes I forget I'm the mayor." --Mayor Costas of Valparaiso
{BL CB30.52}

@3625. "They could also write in that if I click 'like' on a cereal facebook page I would have to kill myself, but that doesn't make it legally binding." --Slashdot comment

@3628. I have a note that mentioned an anecdote to tell in CB or somewhere else, when I had my shirt on backwards in church. It's kind of sloppily written, and I keep reading "shit backwards" whenever I look at it. What would that even be?

@3629. "The other [student] played a Mozart violin concerto and sounded like he could have been really good if he had actually practiced." --CB1.22

@3638. Just had the thought that tabbing up to the top of my document to revise my thesis statement is sort of like coding in some ways. You make a change one place, and then (sometimes) you go back to the initial foundations to make it cover the changes you've made and all work together. There's actually quite a lot of logic in literary research, come to think of it.

@3639. Using LaTeX, I'm not really sure about page requirements anymore, because I have this line spacing parameter I can just tweak for a good half-page in a 7-page essay for a 0.1 change in the spacing parameter. And it's not like I'm exactly cheating, as the default is actually significantly smaller than the Word defaults, and presumably every program has a slightly different default.

@3646. "Safety, as you know, is paramount..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ircHCzcg3WY
(New link as the old one is broken: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkkPiilF_mI)

The most awesome part about this is that it's literally the exact second when he says the word "safety" that the train appears in the distance. The most perfect ironic (or heck, comedic) timing you could possibly have.

@3648. "Wednesday. I think you're you....Unsealing kale!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23H8IdaS3tk

@3651. "TEST Tornado Warning expired"
I'm glad the test tornado is gone. Those can be nasty.

@3658. "I'm having a problem with my computer." --caller to the IT Helpdesk, explaining her call

@3665. I got called over to the admissions office to fix a paper jam on a huge Laserjet. They call the printer "Sassy" (it even has a sticky note on it saying that that's what this printer is named, along with its network name).

@3666. I had a dream in which I was sitting at the IT Helpdesk and a lady of about fifty (not faculty/staff/student, it seemed) came up to the window with tons of plates from the caf, probably four or five separate ones, containing partly eaten food, and started ranting about the things that were wrong with each one. I think she was allergic to the contents of some of them and hadn't been properly warned, others were no good, and so on and so on. I told her she could perhaps file a complaint with the caf. She was infuriated by this: wasn't this what she was already doing, and I can't accept her complaint? This is unacceptable! To which I said, "This is actually the IT Helpdesk." (Shouldn't that have been obvious?) At this she was somewhat embarrassed and asked me where she could go to file the complaint, and I directed her to the manager's office immediately to the right of the entrance when you face it, and if nobody's there maybe she could fill out a comment card and stick it up on the board. After she left, I turned to the other person on shift with me and said, "Just when I thought I'd seen it all...."

@3667. I discovered that all the letters in "UM YA YA" are perfectly symmetrical: when I wear my UM YA YA T-shirt and look at myself in the mirror, it clearly reads "AY AY MU."
{BL #5315}

@3668. "Saying things in capslock doesn't make it more true, it just makes you look stupid."

@3675. Teen Boys Losing Virginity Earlier and Earlier, Report Teen Boys

@3676. Getting a blazing download speed of 16.6KB/sec on the download of an email attachment...

@3677. "That'd be a great emergency room report. Broken sternum, because I tossed a multitool in the air for no reason and it landed there." --me

@3680. "[Smart guns] should just do something analogous to what smoke detectors do. Like every few minutes when the battery gets low, automatically fire off a round." --Slashdot comment

@3681. After reading my translation of the Canterbury Tales for about an hour, I'm walking around feeling like I should be thinking in iambic pentameter...
https://xkcd.com/79/

May 2, 2014
@3684. "Whoever decides what to put in the headers at the top of pages -- the chapter number would be really helpful. And if there's not enough space, you can remove the title of the book from one of the spots. I know what book I'm reading, thank you very much." --me
{BL #7213}

@3686. "Diesel is an expensive non-renewable fuel source whereas electricity is a cheaper and infinite source of energy."
Clearly this guy knows better than everyone else: electricity is infinite! What are all these stupid people doing talking about energy problems?

@3687. In 2004, there were nearly 2 million knives taken from passengers by airport security.

@3690. "I've seen greater than or equal to ten penises today." --#overheard from outside the door of my dorm room (a man)
{BL #6695}

@3696. "The problem is, you're being ostentatious by using the word 'ostentatious.'" --me
Matter of fact, it fits into that category of words that are themselves what they describe, like 'blend' or 'pentasyllabic.' (There's apparently a name for this: "autological.")
{BL #4662}

@3697. More of them: http://www.segerman.org/autological.html

@3698. Also, "word."
This is a special one: a sort of "identity autology."

@3704. No matter how many times I walk over the section of uneven carpet on the second floor of the library, I *still* forget it's there and trip over it.

@3706. "I've never heard anyone say 'Fiddlesticks! Sorry guys, but I need to go because my phone just reached 42% charge and I really need to keep it between 40% and 80% to maximize battery life.' Perhaps my friends and I just hate batteries." --Lifehacker comment

@3709. Wasting time while I should be writing sociology response papers playing with 'tdfsb', a 3d filesystem browser.

@3712. I'm really amazed by how many different comment characters different markup and programming languages use. Could it have really been that hard to have standardized them at least roughly at the beginning?

May 8, 2014
@3713. "Vimscript isn't going to help you much if you wind up fiddling with your editor all day instead of working, so it's important to strike a balance."
{BL MW "Writing an MLA-format paper in LaTeX"}

@3714. "Terminating NOW (this may take a few seconds)." --offlineimap

@3717. "That was the dumbest late-night idea in the history of the world." --me

@3718. I just discovered "vimgrep" today--super-awesome! Very handy for projects with many similar source files like coding or maybe writing projects. (Okay, it's not quite accurate to say that I "discovered it today"--I'd heard of it before, but I'd never actually tried it until today, when I discovered that it was really awesome and started using it constantly.)

@3720. I notice I tend to write shorter paragraphs (in terms of word count) when the width of the input box for the text is narrower. I guess it makes sense, since the easiest way to judge the length is by its height on the screen, but that makes it a bit hard to figure out what the appropriate length is.

@3724. "I predict that within fifty years, not only will every electrical appliance have a clock in it, but they will also have so many flashing LEDs that we will no longer need lamps." --article on electrical outlets

@3725. "Then your house will burn down and houses are very expensive and sometimes have family members inside them." --same article

@3728. "The souls in heaven will be punished forever." --found while proofing my paper on purgatory

May 12, 2014
@3729. Our library doesn't have a copy of the /MLA Style Manual and Guide to Scholarly Publishing./ That is *ridiculous.* We have the puny little "MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers," all the content of which is freely available online, and which never contains answers to the tough questions. But not one copy of the actual style manual?

They say the puny book is for undergraduate students, but it in no way is sufficient.

@3730. Cullom fried our microwave by trying something from the internet and microwaving a potato for 20 minutes. (Add that to the mental 'things never to do' list...) That was a $200 microwave, and nobody in the dorm can heat anything up now.

This is also the second ruined microwave this semester. Although the first one was a crappy little thing and it broke when someone cracked the carousel into two pieces and we decided it wasn't worth repairing, so this time was definitely worse.

I'm not sure whether to be more annoyed at the fact that somebody stupidly put a potato in the microwave for 20 minutes unattended or the fact that a $200 piece of equipment can be ruined by cooking a potato for too long.

@3732. "I feel kind of bad about cutting the part about how Kjartan would have been the best, but I needed some space and it was kind of an aside to the thesis. But it was a much more interesting part than some of this shit. Yes, I called my paper shit." --revision message for an old paper

@3736. "If you want interviews that tell the truth about what really happened, you should just give up now." --Chuck Huff, psychology professor at STO

@3741. Budget Woes Force Heaven To Reduce Eternal Life to 500 Billion Years

@3743. "Ahah its always funny to see that people have their own problems in life, and how it can be so much different. Some fight for peace and others are worried about the missing title of an album." --YouTube comment

@3744. TA: "The first line begins, 'When George Washington wrote the Gettysburg Address, he discussed women's rights.'"

May 15, 2014
@3745. Ran into a news article about a study finding that people who drink lots of energy drinks also often smoke, use screens extensively, and drink lots of sugary drinks. Not rocket science, but still worth reporting. The ridiculous thing was the title under which it was reported: "Stop Consuming Energy and Sports Drinks." Because apparently, drinking energy drinks and smoking is a causal relationship, and you wouldn't want to end up starting to smoke, would you?

@3747. When Cantorei was singing on Sunday, Dr. Bobb conducted them from the organ, while playing it, with his left hand. So he played most of the accompaniment with just one hand and his feet. He did drop his left hand and hit a few keys in places where he needed a couple more fingers, then he went right back to conducting.

@3749. In RMS, there are the dumbest bathrooms I've seen in quite some time. First off, they're single-person bathrooms, but they're men's and women's on alternating floors. You'd think it would be more efficient just to make them all unisex. Then, inside each one, there is a single stall and a sink (no urinals in the men's). The (accessible) stall takes up more than half of the bathroom space, with the remainder being just barely enough to access the sink and still swing the door open. As a matter of fact, though it's an "accessible"-sized stall, I have quite some doubt that a person in a wheelchair would actually fit in the part of the bathroom that's not the stall in order to get *into* it. I cannot fathom why they have the stall there in the first place; the only thing I could think of would be that it could slightly increase efficiency by letting one person wash his or her hands while someone else started using the toilet, but there isn't enough space in the rest of the bathroom for anyone to wait, so you wouldn't actually know when the first person was done.

@3752. I noticed (and realized I'd noticed before but long since forgotten) that our milk machines in the caf say that the milk comes from a "farmers' coopertive." I think they need a partnership with the spelling cooperative.

@3754. We also had the idea that we should make a CS opera. Someone said that there would have to be a part about segfaults, and I said that what you should really do is just stop the music at random points and have someone say through a bullhorn "SEGMENTATION FAULT, CORE DUMPED."

@3768.
En Olavi proles!
Non credere noles;
Nobiscum cor priscum victuraque vis.
Quis nostrum non acer?
Quis vestrum non lacer?
Mox Equites istos accipiet Dis!

@3769. It's a very good thing Amazon lets you edit payment and shipping information after you clumsily hit the place order button...

@3770. "In fact, computers can't 'win' at anything, not until they can experience real joy in victory and sadness in defeat, a programming challenge that makes Go look like tic-tac-toe."
--http://www.wired.com/2014/05/the-world-of-computer-go/

@3771. "Is my ID just collateral?" --#overheard at the library circulation desk

@3772. "I'm a free woman. I just finished college." --#overheard at the library circulation desk

@3773. https://isitchristmas.com/

@3774. "...which would create a beam of photons a billion times more energetic than the speed of light."
That's like, "taller than a kilogram."
--CNET comment

@3777. "I am definitely not a woman." --marginalia (only a couple of weeks later!)
(Cf. #2047.)

@3780. I have an unusual distinction this year: I have not missed a single regularly scheduled class period, for any reason.

@3781. "I once heard an account from someone who worked on the Cassini-Huygens mission, where one of the designers pointed out that their spacecraft traveled to a target a billion kilometers away, and arrived within something like a second and a half of the scheduled time."
I think Amtrak needs to take a leaf out of their book...

@3782. I had a thought at lunch today that hand-writing an essay in a green book under time pressure has almost more in common with responding in conversation than with writing a formal essay. You basically only get one shot to say what you are going to say, with maybe a bit of pre-preparation.

@3787.
A co-worker (not an intern) was editing a perl script in production (at the time, we didn't have any other way to work on the system we'd inherited) and he removed a line in some perl code that said to print "PIG7" to the console. All that does is print the string PIG7 to the console on the machine it was running on, which should not matter to any code. Lines like that are usually used for debugging.

When he saved the file 15 minutes later, after making a few other modifications, the whole system came to a crashing halt. We're talking thousands of porn sites that were no longer making money.

It took us about an hour and a half, as we reverted change after change, [to figure out] that the PIG7 line was the key. It turns out that at some point in its history, somebody had use the output to the console as a trigger for another essential piece of code that had to run in order for everything to work. The entire operation hinged on that one little PIG7 string on the console.

Since that day, I refer to any narrow point of failure in a system, as a PIG7.

(Can anyone think of a dumber architecture than passing data between two web-server processes by printing it on the console?)
{BL CB61.44}

@3790. Injury codes: http://www.loweringthebar.net/2011/09/further-reactions-to-the-turtle-code.html
"Bitten by duck" "Primary blast injury of rectum" "Fall from non-moving motorized scooter" "Spacecraft explosion injuring occupant, initial encounter"

@3791. Ohio Replaces Lethal Injection With Humane New Head-Ripping-Off Machine

@3801. "Oh gosh, I have to read that movie." --me

@3803.
Me: "Set an alarm for 7:15."
Siri: "Sorry, Soren, I can't do that. You're not listening to the Music app."

@3804. So the vacuum cleaner story (#3751) gets even better: I went down and asked Sofia if someone was using it. It's now broken, and they're providing Ellingson residents with a broom and dustpan to clean their carpets.

@3805. The broom evidently hasn't come back, and there's no other vacuum. I'm kind of stumped on how I'm supposed to clean my floor. Shane says to wait and hope that it comes back at some point. I'm not sure if I can be blamed for not being able to clean my floor when nothing is provided to me to clean it with.

@3809. "...saying the letters and numbers one at a time." --instructions for reading my reservation number to the Amtrak system over the phone

@3810. Somewhere in Minneapolis, at the top of a post was a sign that said "No Parking, Bus Stop" and some further information about the bus stop. Then, lower on the same post, was the clarification "Buses Stop Here."

@3813. Bus driver, trying to get us all back to the bus on time: "My mother always used to say, 'The difference between a traveler and a hitchhiker is five minutes.'"

@3814. Grandmother to five-year-old girl behind me on the bus (#overheard), trying to make out the text in a blurry picture: "Can you read that? Oh, you don't know how to read."

@3815. "Think carefully before you have children." --guy sitting next to me on the bus

@3816. I'm waiting for the South Shore at Van Buren station. The PA says, "All trains are on track 1." As if on cue, a Metra train pulls up on track 2.

@3821. "Friends don't let friends clap on one and three."

@3822. Trying to log into Simple and got this message: "Whoops! Sorry, we're having trouble right now." I don't mind occasional downtime, but I would wish it would at least give me a little more information, like "please try again in 10 minutes" or something. I have no idea what that really means except "can't do it"--do I just need to try again? down for 10 minutes? down for a week?

@3831. Remembering a news article I ran into a while back in which a university decided to do an audit of all their servers and network equipment, having not done so for a few years. When the network had been scanned and mapped, they realized there was one server that wasn't in any of their server rooms and they couldn't physically locate at all. After an extended investigation, they resorted to physically following the ethernet cable back from the switch, to discover that, during a renovation of the building it was located in, the construction guys had drywalled it in--still plugged in and connected to network and running normally. It had been in that state for several years already when they found it.

@3832. So I think I forgot to tell this story anywhere. I was out walking in the Natural Lands during finals. At about the turnoff onto the STOGROW trail, I noticed a plastic St. Olaf Bookstore bag lying on the ground. When I went to pick it up, I found it was extremely heavy and contained a second Target bag. Inside were *hundreds* of metal spoons. I just replaced the plastic where it had been before and went on my merry way, but that was a rather strange thing to find out there. (Everyone I've told this story to has now asked if they were caf spoons; I must confess that I didn't look closely enough to know, nor do I really have a good working model of what the caf spoons look like--I just pick them up and eat with them without really looking at them.)

@3834. I think I forgot to tell this story: Phin and Perrin both bought "new Core i7" processors on eBay for $100, from a seller in China who had zero ratings. They knew it was probably a scam, but figured since there was buyer protection they might as well try, since it'd be an unbelievably good deal if it turned out to be true. So one morning I walked into the Helpdesk. He had a bubble mailer of about the right size for a processor, which he'd gotten a tracking number for. Instead of the processor, though, there was a small wooden horse on a string. He said it was almost better than the real thing!

@3836. "Very few typographic arguments can match the intensity of that over whether there should be one space or two spaces after periods that end sentences. This practice is left over from typographers from the Victorian era, which was an unenlightened period in more ways than just typography. Corsets and mutilating anti-masturbatory devices were eventually phased out, but corn flakes and this poor habit have lived on." --_Design for Hackers_ appendix

@3838. "We trained two starlings (Sturnus vulgaris) to fly in a wind tunnel whilst wearing respirometry masks."

@3839. "Note that you can't be convicted under this law unless you *knowingly* cause a nuclear explosion. But all I can say is I hope you have plenty of insurance, because that is some serious negligence, my friend." --_The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance_

@3842. Somewhere by the side of the road on the trip I saw a tow truck with a notation on the side: "23-Hour Towing." So which hour are they not available, and why?

@3843. "Oh, that means 'assignment.' I thought it was 'assassination.'" --me, reading some old notes

@3844. I saw a massive trailer in the campground with the name on the side "Ultra Lite Grand Touring." They just can't make up their mind whether they're going for light and small or great.

@3845. "They [the raccoons] will never get into *this.*" --#overheard in the campground (famous last words!)

@3846. "Daddy, you made a fire! Yaay!" --#overheard in the campground

@3847. On my hoodie, the tag advertises that the company has been around and making hoodies "since 2012." I'm sorry, you can't put a "since such-and-such a date" unless you're at least ten years old.

@3850. "Like, most of my toe got scraped off." --#overheard in the campground (one of several girls on bikes)

@3851. Great sign seen in a parking lot in Janesville: "Do Not Push Snow Here"

@3852. Hmm, I managed to typo and mount an external disk on /. I wonder what will happen...

@3853. Turns out nothing, in this situation at least. Except that it's not possible to unmount it (though its files aren't actually accessible anywhere while "mounted," so that's not too much of an issue).

@3857. "Use social media wisely – only post information about your finances that you feel comfortable making public." --Discover website
No durrr.

@3858. Was noting the other day that typing is one of the few things I'm really basically an expert at. (Although proviso that this is typing on a computer--having just got my typewriter, I'm quite aware that by the standards of years ago, I'm quite a poor typist who is even continually making line spacing errors, even if I'm pretty fast.)

@3865. I saw a diagram on a tent of the way that you were supposed to fit the 6 people who supposedly could sleep in it. It said "sleeps 6" and had five people one way and one person perpendicular at their feet in the tiny amount of space that was left. It looked exactly like those diagrams you see of how they used to pack people into slave ships.

@3866. On another tent, it said in two different places, "fits 2 queen mattresses" and "sleeps 6". Since when do you put three people per queen mattress? That's like a perfect admission of how ridiculous those numbers are.

@3870. "This has other severe problems though, like totally broken keyboard focus and very strange effects on desktop changes or when the user raises other windows." --Qt docs

@3873. My Cygwin installer progress indicator just went *backwards* by about 20%. I'm not sure how that makes sense.

@3874. Your dark potion boils and explodes!  It suddenly gets dark.

@3875. The library Anki uses to detect delimiters in CSV files uses the name "sniffer.sniff()".

@3878. Along with 'sixths' for ridiculously-difficult-to-say words: "regexps."

@3882. "The defendant owed the plaintiff...a duty of care not to drink under age or to fire bottle rockets out of his anus." --Lowering the Bar

@3883. "Citing new regulations that forbid banks from employing anyone who has ever been convicted of a crime involving dishonesty, Wells Fargo Home Mortgage has fired an employee [in 2012] who was convicted of putting a fake dime in a washing machine in 1963."

@3884. "We strongly discourage anyone from choosing crime as a career. Nevertheless, as with any pursuit in life, one should be prepared. For instance, if you are planning to carjack someone, you should make sure you can drive a stick shift."

@3887.  "Never say, 'I will be brief' either. First off, being brief is unusual. If you are, people will notice without you calling attention to it. Second, if you intend to be brief, you can save an additional two or three seconds by leaving that out." --Lifehacker comment

@3889. http://abstrusegoose.com/164
This comic has some level of strange loop-ness/at least infinite recursion embedded in it. I was thinking about how if you want to share it with anybody, you ought to mention the fact that it contains a spoiler and you shouldn't read it if you haven't read _Anna Karenina_ yet. But then you're *giving* a spoiler by trying to prevent a spoiler... (Time for a spoiler alert on that?)

One way to look at it, perhaps: making sure you can prevent the spoiling of one results in the potential spoiling of the other. (If you make sure that it's safe to show someone the comic, you spoil the comic. If you don't, you spoil _Anna Karenina_.) So maybe it's almost some sort of quantum state, although in this case there is the out made possible by human memory and relationships of finding out if someone has read it by other means, or asking them and then waiting a couple of days.

Come to think of it, regardless of the fact that it's funny and clever, I don't think I would have created a comic like that, because of how many innocent people you're likely going to spoil. At least for a book that I care about as much as that one.

@3891. "The pen is easy to use." --Amazon review of a gel pen

@3899.
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody's cat
Now tell me, in what alternate reality would I care about something like that?
--Weird Al

@3903. "Second, the crime, such as it is, has been classified as a *felony egging*." --Lowering the Bar, on Justin Bieber being arrested for egging a house

@3906. "AssertionError: False is not true" --unittest

@3907. "When you are given an FBI BlackBerry, it's for official use. It's not to ... send a picture of yourself in a state of undress. That is not why we provide you an FBI BlackBerry."
In another related story, it apparently has not dawned on hundreds of FBI employees that the FBI might be able to eavesdrop on the messages they send on their FBI BlackBerries.

@3908. In other animal news, the Bristol Post reported last week that the owner of a dog in North Somerset, England, was fined £1,000 for allowing it to bark excessively. "Excessive" in this case was 863 barks in 23 minutes, which is 37.5 barks per minute or one bark every 1.6 seconds for 23 minutes. The barks were counted by an officer who visited the property to gather evidence, and presumably made 863 little marks on a piece of paper while developing a splitting headache.
--Lowering the Bar

@3909. "As I have also mentioned before, you should do everything you can to ensure that your picture never appears above the words, 'ran from reporters.'" --Lowering the Bar

@3910.
There once was a fellow named Hall
Who fell in the spring in the fall;
    'Twould have been a sad thing
    Had he died in the spring,
But he didn't, he died in the fall.

@3913. Akron City Hall Evacuated After Man Named 'Kaboom' Leaves Walking Stick
https://web.archive.org/web/20130216043311/http://cleveland.cbslocal.com/2012/10/03/akron-city-hall-evacuated-after-man-named-kaboom-leaves-walking-stick/

July 01, 2014
@3914.
An Alsatian dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: "There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof' for the same price."

"But," the dog replied, "that would make no sense at all."

@3917. "Not explained in the reports:
- Why a car wash had a 27-inch TV in its restroom;
- Why nobody noticed someone leaving with a 27-inch flat-screen TV under his sweatshirt; or
- Why the suspect stole from a place where he had just used his credit card, thus providing his name." --Lowering the Bar

@3925. "I'm tired of reading about misogyny." --me

@3926. "These demands are contradictory and impossible to realize (massless arms and zero-friction bearings do not exist in the real world)." --Wikipedia

July 07, 2014
@3929. "Why should it be so controversial to challenge statements that are factually incorrect?" --Jezebel comment

@3931. This isn't the answer to the question. This is an answer to a different question, that happens to work for this particular situation. It's as if someone asked "how do I make a left turn" and the top-voted answer was "take the next three right turns." It works for certain intersections, but it doesn't give the needed answer.
--StackOverflow comment

@3932. Variable name: FOFF
(The 'F' stands for 'format.')

@3934. "Because fish live underwater they are more difficult to study than terrestrial animals and plants." --Wikipedia

@3936. The new PCPLS catalog is great at giving you completely random and worthless suggestions when they don't have the book you're looking for (#1744, #2000). Today:
"debugging by thinking" -- Did you mean: debunking 9 11 debunking?
"the elements of typographic style" -- Did you mean: the elements of e mail style?
"bringhurst" -- Did you mean: longhurst?

@3937. Wikipedia surfing: started looking up whether "reread" needed a hyphen and ended up reading about simultaneous interpreting.

@3938. "If you're determined to run the latest version of offlineimap, you can install it with pip or something. If you just want to download your fucking email and get on with your life, you can follow the instructions I've laid out for you here." --https://stevelosh.com/blog/2012/10/the-homely-mutt/

@3939. "Yes, this program that syncs your email has multiple user interfaces." --https://stevelosh.com/blog/2012/10/the-homely-mutt/

@3940. "First, Mutt's SMTP support was considered "experimental" the last time I checked. Sending email is kind of important, so we'll stick with something tried and true." --https://stevelosh.com/blog/2012/10/the-homely-mutt/

@3941. "So if you have any questions about what you read on the Internet contact my sister-in-law rather than Snopes.  She is a more reliable source of information."
--http://thenaturaladvocate.blogspot.com/2011/04/another-reason-not-to-trust-snopes.htm

@3942. Yo!-Oh?-So?-No.

@3943. "That research paper is awesome! Never before have I seen the use of partial differential equations to justify unequivocal bullshit." --Slashdot comment

@3945. "Start beforty-two." --Eugene Ormandy

@3946. "Ears pierced while you wait"

@3947. "It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose." --posted in the Black Forest

@3949. I'm listening to and occasionally glancing over at the video feed of the Seekers' "Forever Isn't Long Enough For Me." I've watched this probably ten times at least now, and I just now noticed that they cut between multiple videos in which Judith is wearing completely different clothes. Umm...sorry, that's not a permissible cut when it's supposed to show her singing a song continuously.

July 19, 2014
@3950. Reasons Not to Marry Your Parent, #1,000,005: Really screwed-up relationships with other members of your family.
This assumes that -- hypothetically, hopefully -- you are a man and have married your mother; every gendered term except the stepfather one (which has to be the opposite of the parent you married) can go either way. Effects:
- Your entire family becomes your in-laws.
- If you have a child, you are also stepsiblings with your child.
- You become your own stepfather (and your own stepson).
- Every other relationship changes too: niece->granddaughter-in-law, father->brother-in-law, aunt->sister-in-law, cousin->nephew-in-law, grandmother->mother-in-law.
- None of this changes the relationships you already have, so you end up being related to everyone in your family in two different ways.

I haven't worked it out, but I suspect you could similarly become your own grandfather if you married your grandmother.

People still interested in incestuous relationships will be happy to know that #1,000,005 isn't a concern if you marry your sibling, since your sibling is related to everyone in the same way as you and all the new relationships will overlap perfectly (theoretically shadowed by another set suffixed with "-in-law").

@3951. "I know multiple choice questions are a bad format for learning, so let's skip that part." --#ankiforums

@3952. Second result for the search "nosetests confirm that something causes an error": "How to Tell if You Have a Cold or Allergies"

@3953. *Another* piece of mail addressed to "Ms. Bjornstad". This one was from a 10th-grader thanking me for donating to LSM, so it's a little bit more understandable than Greyhound.

@3954. "Call me weird, but I think saving is an important feature of an application." --me

@3955. The word 'croup' has two completely different meanings. *Both* of them come up in _Anna Karenina._

@3957. Just thinking about hearing cuts and was remembering the spot in the original version of "Hey Jude" where someone says clearly but quietly in the background, "Fucking hell!" It's great because you would never notice it if you didn't know it was there, but if you remember it's there and are paying attention, it's completely distinct.

@3963. On a related note, I ran into a place in the ELW the other day where the simplified accompaniment edition reads 'thee' and the normal accompaniment edition says 'you.' I think I've worked out that they were intending to change them over where possible, spotted that one at the last minute, and took it out, and the one in the other edition was missed.

@3964. People seem to think that by writing "NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED" in the descriptions of their YouTube videos, they are somehow less responsible if they're found to be infringing.
{BL #6876}

@3966. "Organization of language through the hearing of shoes" --#transcription from my voice recorder, as best I can make it out

@3967. The men's shelter (New Creation) in Valpo prices used books by the copyright date. I know this because I wanted to buy a book that didn't have a price on it, and when I went up to the front, the woman at the check-out counter looked at the copyright page and said out loud, "Hmm, nineteen-twenty-(whatever it was)...that'll be five dollars." This could certainly be exploited, although it would depend on someone giving away the right valuable, relatively new (or old?) book.

@3968. In a recent dream, I called 911 and got a dispatcher who walked me through ways to improve the voice quality of my cell phone conversations instead of helping me with the problem.

@3969. Written on Ben Studebaker's blog: "Weakening of 'asshole dampening systems' like the family, religion, the law, the regulatory state, etc."
"Asshole dampening systems" is the best phrase I've heard all week.

@3970. "You know it's tomorrow, right?" --parent to her child, after midnight

@3971. When we were pulling out of the parking lot at the Kane County Cougars game some couple of weeks ago, Daniel described the spot where the parts came together as a "libertarian intersection." It was really quite accurate--there were people coming from about 7 different directions and there was nobody directing in any way.

@3974. Everyone In Middle East Given Own Country In 317,000,000-State Solution

@3976. Just remembering the guy who smashed into our rental car's mirror on the freeway with his trailer. When we finally managed to get him to realize he'd hit our mirror and stop to talk about it, which was no small feat, he told us, "What I *usually* do is pay cash."
{BL MB2.46}

@3979. "When you just got a new hammer, everything looks like a nail." --me

@3980. Never really thought about this before, but "sleeping bag" is a really funny term.

@3981. How to learn shortcuts: Stop and experiment and research when you find you're doing something inefficiently. If you do that enough, you'll get better eventually.

@3983. Read an interesting article on Lifehacker about college not being the best time of your life. The comments were much more interesting than the actual article; eventually many people's argument contrary to what the article said was that it has the perfect balance between freedom and responsibilities, which I thought was a very good assessment.

@3984. "Your response was: 'yes'. If this is correct, say 'yes.'" --Verizon Wireless survey

@3985. Addition to the list of difficult phrases to pronounce: "Draw drawing"

@3986. A tree planted in Los Angeles to honor former Beatle George Harrison has been killed -- by beetles.

@3987. Facebook post on my fan and light:
Just finished balancing the fan and repairing the light socket in my room, a project which involved several hours on a stepladder looking up at the ceiling, breaking the light socket while just about to be done with the fan, a trip to Ace where they only had one light socket that was sort of the right thing, having to wire a light socket with stranded aluminum wire, trying approximately four different screws to find one that was almost right, and last but not least, filing down the top of the light socket and bending the bracket to make it stay in.

If you're ever in the market for a ceiling fan and light, I highly recommend buying a higher-quality one.

@3988. "Oops, I've sent money to your donation thread." --#ankiforums

@3991. "In my experience, an Anki deck is a highly personal experience. Cards have to be adjusted by the individual in order to fit ones taste, so that it fits the person's limbic system, which opens or closes the way into joy and remembering." --#ankiforums

@3992. "Battle for Sexy Angels - Play Free" --ad in µTorrent

@3993. "Error while copying error.txt"

@3995. "Share a link to this question via email, , , or ." --at the bottom of a StackOverflow page

@3997. "Not legal for trade." --on a bathroom scale

@3998. "I tried to instal the last versions of ANKI (V 2.0.27 and V 2.0.28) on my computer (Windows 7 familial premium)." --#ankiforums

@4002. "It s becoming an announce !" --#ankiforums

@4005. It turns out that if you only plug one end of the speaker cable in, you won't get any sound.

@4006. "One client took the vehicle he had bought just a month earlier for its first oil change. After my client paid for the oil change, the car made it one (1) block before the dash lit up like a slot machine on crack and the engine seized. Suspecting a causal relationship between the purported oil change ten minutes earlier and the engine failure, the client walked back to the shop to see what insight they could provide. 'I forgot to put oil back in!' an employee blurted out, as if he had just solved a hilarious murder mystery."

@4007. "Not suitable for navigation." --on a 6-inch globe

July 29, 2014
@4012. "I hope I didn't put you off of insert mode too much. After all, as someone once said: 'it is the only mode in which you can insert'." --blog post about vi

@4013. "I like your Ad Homein attack though, learn how to properly debate."

@4014. New Kindle Helps Readers Show Off By Shouting Title Of Book Loudly And Repeatedly
--http://www.theonion.com/video/new-kindle-helps-readers-show-off-by-shouting-titl,36568

@4015. "And, Amazon's competition has also stepped up their game, as Apple released a new iPad that whispers, 'I have an iPad' over and over again." --http://www.theonion.com/video/new-kindle-helps-readers-show-off-by-shouting-titl,36568

July 31, 2014
@4016. "Searches without a cigar." --#ankiforums user saying that he had failed to find anything about his problem by searching
{BL CB21.80}

@4019. "This draws the texture upside down, so make sure the texture is upside down on disk." --comment in our Software Design final project

@4022. "Location not found. (error: ERROR)" --Weather Underground

@4025. "God and I both knew what it meant once. Now God alone knows."

@4027. "The person most widely acknowledged as having coined the term [lucid dreaming] is Dutch psychiatrist and writer Frederik (Willem) van Eeden (1860–1932).[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9]" --Wikipedia
Looks like someone had a bit of an argument about the truth of that statement...

August 06, 2014
@4028. "Regardless of all the back and forth. I hope that Wiki[media] gets its butt handed to them. They are simply trying to protect their thievery business model."
Yeah, as a non-profit providing free information to the entire world, they're real thieves and have a "business model" based on making no money from it.

@4029. "I have found that if you need to do anything important at a stop light, you will never get a stoplight. So, always have something that needs to be done at that next stoplight when you're driving." --comment on a Lifehacker post on how to spend less time waiting at red lights

@4032. Watching a segment of a recent Seekers concert. Between sets, Judith is telling a story about a time someone came up to her with an album cover they wanted her to sign--but it was a Peter, Paul & Mary album.

I'm amused by thinking of the possibilities for how this could have happened. So far, I've come up with:
- The person was purposefully messing around wanting to see what Judith would do. This isn't out of the question and does explain it well, but seems like an odd thing to do unless it's become some sort of meme.
- The person was at the concert, thought they wanted to get an autograph, just happened to have this album with them, and got it signed, knowing it wasn't actually the right one. This seems rather unlikely, as most people would have given her a scrap of paper rather than gotten the *wrong* thing autographed.
- The person had been running late for the concert and thought as they were leaving, "Hmm, I should try to get someone to sign my album cover" and accidentally grabbed the wrong one off the shelf. In this scenario, the person never even realized that it wasn't a Seekers album. This is probably the most likely and would probably make for the best story for that person in the end, even if it's not the funniest for us. (Actually, regardless of the story, it would be way cooler to have something that Judith signed "Mary" than anything she signed with her own name!)
- The person somehow actually mistook Judith for Mary Travers, perhaps having been somewhat flustered and excited by actually meeting her. (Both 60's folk singers with great voices, but beyond that...really nothing at all in common.)
- The person somehow came to an entire Seekers concert thinking it was Peter, Paul and Mary. This is probably not the case, but I rather like to think it is.

Whatever the case, not to be thrown off, she took it, signed it "Mary," and gave it back.

@4035. "Your doing great work helping others with their tech dilemmas - may god bless you and all who sale in the good ship 'AnKi'" --#ankiforums

@4036. Customer: "What's a cow?"

@4039. "I have 'Mistakenly' deleted all my decks on ankiweb." --#ankiforums
(/r/suspiciousquotes?)

@4041. "A reading from...Nothing." --the younger me

@4042. "Steeping good tea does not take a PhD, but it is also not as simple as chucking it into boiling water and letting it stew."

@4043. Which reminds me... (Lifehacker comment)
"I was in America once. I asked for English Breakfast Tea. They half filled a mug with cream, topped it up with cold water, put a tea bag on top and then zapped it in the microwave. They probably don't drink much tea in Iowa."

Yeah. Even in Iowa, that's pretty bad.

@4044. "Why does Windows think that my wireless keyboard is a toaster?" --SuperUser question

@4045. "Confusingly, gnome-terminal works for me [to load vim]. Caveat editor."

@4046. "This year, Valpo Athletics is embarking on a challenge unlike any other in Valparaiso University history."
That is, they're going to enter students who attend games into a drawing to win free tuition. Like, to discourage them from studying instead of going to ridiculous numbers of games or something.

@4050. Apparently we're not allowed to splice electrical wires in our dorm rooms.

@4051. An interesting mix: "Items that may not be placed in storage rooms include bricks, furniture, paper bags, shelving, unsecured boxes, boxes less than half-full, aerosol cans or other combustible materials and other bulky items."

I especially like the one about bricks.

@4052. "Volume 0.5" --describing the capacity of an electric kettle

August 14, 2014
@4053. "I just punched the iPhone app of Anki also." --#ankiforums

@4056. "thank you. works." --#ankiforums

@4057. When you are in a hole, first, stop digging.
--comment on the Archdruid Report

@4060. Ran across an old forum thread in which someone asked for the words and melody to a song they were remembering but didn't have a copy of. Someone posted the tune as the text of a MIDI file (within the post). This was the response:

"""
Jeezz

How's anyone supposed to understand all that sh.....

The tunes easy

It goes..........

DAH DAH DAHHHH DAH DAH DAHHH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAA DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH, DAH DAH DAH DA DA DAHHHHHHHHHH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i'VE HAD A COUPLE OF BEERS GUYS AND I CAN'T REMEMBER THE CHORUS BUT MY MATE DOES BUT HE'S PIS.... AND'S NOT MUCH HELP RIGHT NOW.

ps SING IT IN C FLATS.......

lOVES

bILL S
"""

@4062. "Haiti, Tahiti...minor difference." --#ankiblunders

@4063. "Showing one result, starting with #1. " --MediaWiki

@4064. I'm fairly sure that I just remembered an Anki card solely because I accidentally held down a key and caused a fluttering glitch at the time when I previously saw it as well as this recall.

@4068. Have you ever realized how ridiculous package/mail insurance is? "Here, pay us extra so that we'll guarantee that we can do our job properly!"

@4069. So Grandpa Bjornstad was in Norway for a month this summer. One of the things he did was go on an extended hike. One of the relatives he'd been staying with for a while, however, was quite worried about him and made him take a blood-pressure test before going and promise to call them every day. The blood-pressure test was fine, of course, and apparently cell service is generally very good in Norway, and he has a dumb phone with great battery life, so no problem.

The first night everything is fine. The second night he can connect to a tower but can't seem to get a call through; he tries a couple of times, but no dice. Oh well, he'll just call the next night. The next night there's no service at all. The next night there's *also* no service.

The following day he comes into a shelter for the night. While they're eating, a huge dual-rotor rescue helicopter lands next to the shelter and a guy comes in with a picture of Grandpa and asks if anyone's seen him.

Yes, they've had not only the police with dogs but also the navy, the air force, and the Red Cross out looking for him for the last couple of days, because his cell phone wasn't working. One issue was apparently that he neglected to sign the logbooks along the way, because in America those are just for fun and aren't really used for anything except for ending up in some archive somewhere, but apparently in Norway they expect people to sign them, and when the first responders walked up the trail checking the logbooks and didn't find him they got worried.

Still, it's rather worrying that all those rescue people searching for two days didn't see a guy who was hiking normally on the freaking trail the entire time. It's a good thing that they didn't charge him the bill for his "rescue," though, which apparently some eastern U.S. states have now started doing (although in those cases it did involve people who legitimately needed rescuing).

It's also a very good story.

{BL #5922}

August 19, 2014
@4070. "how to get it to work" --#ankiforums subject

@4073. "Hi, I may feel that I am abusing of your support" --#ankiforums

@4074. "I do prefer reviewers, hostile or otherwise, to take the time to read a book of mine before they review it... Still, a review of a book the reviewer hasn't read is one thing, and a review of a book the author hasn't written and the publisher hasn't published is something else again." --JMG

@4075. Never go to sea with two watches -- always take one or three.

@4078. It's better to under promise and over deliver, than to over promise and under deliver.

@4079. TurningPoint is the worst piece of software I have ever tried to use in my entire life.

@4089. "It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end." --Leonardo da Vinci (B135:8)

@4091. "Right. They don't hold up to as much tension as violin strings, rubber bands." --me, playing with string pitch physics with a rubber band and snapping it and hurting my fingers

@4092. Nation Debates Extremely Complex Issue of Children Firing Military Weapons

"Much like the long-running national debates about jumping off a roof, licking electrical sockets, and gargling with thumbtacks, the vexing question of whether children should fire military weapons does not appear headed for a swift resolution."
--http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/nation-debates-extremely-complex-issue-children-firing-military-weapons

@4093. I don't actually have to fully depress my TypeMatrix F8 key for it to do something: just lightly tapping a finger on the top of the key will trigger it. That's potentially rather dangerous given that F8 is 'delete' in Midnight Commander...

@4094. Having an 'rm -rf *' command take forever is not among the most reassuring things to have happen when you use a computer...

@4096. I was just realizing the other day how silly the idea of package insurance is. It's like, "Pay us extra so that we'll guarantee that we can do our job!"
{BL #8491}

@4097. "...when you're older and wider." --me

@4099. "Do you not want to tell us what [the book you're going to read on the train] is because it's _Lady Chatterlain's Lover_?" --Mama

@4102. In an essay from last year that I'm looking at now, I wrote something about the belief that "men are intrinsically superior to men." The professor did not comment or (apparently) notice.

@4103. "I understand what went awry." --#ankiforums

@4104. bash: cd: sob: No such file or directory

@4105. This one is great because it manages to confuse about five points of grammar in the same line.
Student: "Please help me! How do you conjugate the verb ‘house'? Is it ‘house,' ‘houser,' ‘housest'?"

@4106. "The present research suggests that…  The more intensely people felt… the urge to urinate, the less they believed in free will….This work was supported by the John Templeton Foundation."

@4107. Ski. A large amount of postage was affixed to a card that was attached to the ski. The ski was slipped into a bin of postage that was being loaded into a truck behind a station (a collaborating staff member created a verbal disturbance up the street to momentarily distract postal workers' attention). Notice of postage due received, 11 days. Upon pickup at the station, the clerk and supervisor consulted a book of postage regulations together for 2 minutes and 40 seconds before deciding on additional postage fee to assess. Clerk asked if mailing specialist knew how this had been mailed; our recipient said she did not know. Clerk also noted that mail must be wrapped.

Never-opened small bottle of spring water. We observed the street corner box surreptitiously the following day upon mail collection. After puzzling briefly over this item, the postal carrier removed the mailing label and drank the contents of the bottle over the course of a few blocks as he worked his route.

--http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume6/v6i4/postal-6-4.html

@4108. Amused by the header of this wiki page: "Creating Anna Karenina". Would be pretty cool...

@4110. "Ugh, people keep coming in all day asking for them and I keep having to explain we don't have any demand for them!"

@4111. Spent about 15 minutes trying to figure out why the heck my MediaWiki template wouldn't print (and wondering why nobody else had ever apparently wanted to print a wiki page that contained a template, as determined by the lack of any information about it). Turns out I'd explicitly specified "class=noprint" in the template. Duhh. (In my defense, I just copied that code from somewhere. But still.)

@4112. "Really? They all went gone?" --me

@4114. "Hardware is just petrified software." --Karen Panetta

@4116. "The authors hereby predict the end of civilization at midnight on Dec. 31, 9999, when 8000 years worth of old COBOL programs crash simultaneously." --_Structured Computer Organization_

September 06, 2014
@4117. "I see you have the original smartwatch." --Michael Dominguez, commenting on my calculator watch

@4118. Apparently 2.5 *billion* cups of coffee are drunk worldwide per day.

@4120. I notice that I yawn a lot in choir, regardless of whether I'm actually tired. It must be something to do with opening my mouth or breathing or something.

@4124. The assisting minister in church this morning said something about "en'lĭvening" in the post-communion prayer. I had a hard time not laughing.

@4125. "i got crazy. i tried everything." --#ankiforums

@4126. "I feel like I'm not a good enough role model to have a favorite role model." --#overheard outside the caf

@4127. "Come to class, do your work, say your prayers. That third one's essential." --Prof. May

@4128. "The Romans, because they knew that you would be studying Latin in 2014, did something to make your lives miserable." --Prof. May

@4129. "Verbs have moods, right? Sometimes they're happy, sometimes they're sad." --Prof. May

@4130. "As we say, logic is the first casualty in Latin class, right?" --Prof. May

@4131. "If you study the first eighteen pages of your packet, and you know it all by heart, you're just smart." --Prof. May

@4132. "Fear clause is introduced by a verb of fearing. Whoa." --Prof. May

@4133. "We've got two Latin words, 'cum' and 'cum.'" --Prof. May

@4134. "Choosing to take Latin was the best choice you made in college, right?... Some of you probably want to shoot yourselves right now." --Prof. May

@4136. Last year someone next to me in church hearing Ole Choir for the first time told me, "I forgot how to sing."

@4141. "Theoretically, we could measure instruction execution rate in BIPS instead of MIPS, but nobody does that, so we will not either." --_Structured Computer Organization_

@4142. "You can't add an archive to itself." --error received while trying to save a font collection

@4145. "So I leave this up for posteriority." --#ankiforums
(Cf. #1970.)

@4147. "What if my computer brakes down?" --#ankiforums subject

@4149. "You don't have to sing the high J right now." --Dr. Aspaas

@4153. The EFF now has a feature called "Stupid Patent of the Month."

@4154. "...insisting that the way to solve our problems is to push optimistic notions about the future at people is more than a little like deciding that the best way to deal with flashing red warning lights on the control panel of an airplane is to put little pieces of opaque green tape over them so everything looks fine again." --JMG
{BL #5809}

@4155. I have the option of receiving a $5.00 replacement watch band UPS Next Day Air for only $66.97.

@4158. "Feeding directions: Feed to wild birds." --on a package of birdseed

@4160. "This order was shipped via MAIL."

September 12, 2014
@4161. "That sounded like Webern." --Dr. Hodel, after we sightread part of "Let it Go" from _Frozen_

@4170. "They sent some people to assassinate Cicero, but he knew about it. He didn't let them in." --Prof. May

@4171. "If you understood it all, you'd be teaching the class, right?" --Prof. May

@4172. "You should [say 'O tempora, o mores!']. I do it all the time! People will understand it. If they don't, they're ignoramuses." --Prof. May

September 16, 2014
@4180. "[God] once spake by an ass; therefore no man is to be despised, no matter how humble he be." --Luther

September 19, 2014
@4181. "During normal operation or in Safe mode, your computer may play "Für Elise" or "It's a Small, Small World" seemingly at random."
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/261186

@4189. "It is more devout to adore the unknown than to investigate the unexplorable." --Erasmus

@4190. I love how Mathematica automatically italicizes "Mathematica" whenever you type it in the program.

@4205. Someone came over to me in the library and asked me to type slower because it was too noisy.

Besides being funny, it is kind of a problem, actually: this keyboard is fairly noisy (although I should bring in a Model M and start typing with that--*that* would justify a complaint), and slowing down doesn't really make that much of a difference. But this isn't a super-quiet floor, so I don't think I'm obligated to be quiet anyway.

@4206. Sign posted in the caf: "Presenting a panel of Oles in the field of sex trafficking"
{BL #5835}

@4211. "Most of us probably prefer not to talk to a mattress salesman about the sexual benefits of a particular bed while in the store, so this guide is a handy substitution." --Lifehacker

@4215. I've said this before (CB20.39), but I find that the length of a CD is much too long. We simply don't have the attention span to sit and give 50+ minutes of good music the attention it deserves if it's not live. At least I don't.

@4216. And in support, nobody would ever make a set of 12 or 15 songs, would they? But that's what you're essentially doing with a CD of that length.

@4217. "Most disk and I/O device makers also continued to make controllers for [the ISA bus], so IBM found itself in the peculiar situation of being the only PC maker that was no longer IBM compatible." --_Structured Computer Organization_

@4218. I'm sure I don't need to say this, but I'd just like to point out how much I love using the shell (and my tiling window manager &c). I want to do something, and a brief flurry of typing later, it's happening. It feels so awesome to do things efficiently.

@4219. "A prince must punish the wicked in such a way that he does not step on the dish while picking up the spoon." --Luther

@4220. A careful master makes a good horse.

@4221. "God helps those who help themselves."
(WWCM?)

@4222. "Whichever side is defeated...must accept it as a punishment from God; but whichever side wars and wins, in such ignorance, must regard their battle as though one fell from the roof and killed another, and leave the matter to God." --Luther

@4223. Someone asked on stolaf-extra to borrow some sawhorses, which they phrased as "Saw horses to borrow". I read this as indicating that they were giving us an advisory of a place they had seen where one could borrow horses, and finding that odd, selected it...to find what they really meant.

@4224. I love Latin grammatical function names too much: this is the "ablative of attendant circumstances."

@4229. "Please select a password that does not have a suffix commonly used for women's names." --St. Olaf Account Services

@4231. "Rubato, where you steal from one note and give it to the next. It's like Robin Hood, only with rhythm." --Dr. Hodel

@4232. "Latin is the source of everything good in the world." --Prof. May

@4233. What *is* the proper way to write the plural of a choir part name in a sentence? (#4226)

* bass 2s: weird usage of a numeral
* bass 2's: about as weird
* bass IIs: strange use of plural Roman numerals in a sentence
* bass iis: No.
* bass twos: weird application of the plural 's' to the number
* basses two: Fixes the above, but...just no.

I guess you're stuck with "second basses".

@4234. "I would like to think that the time I've spent developing tools to make writing more efficient has been repaid by the time I've saved using these tools, but I'm pretty sure it hasn't." --John McFarlane

@4235. "What? It's only a few seconds [to load your email program]? Brothers and sisters, this is a computer. It should open instantaneously. You should be able to flit in and out of it with no delay at all. Boom, it's here. Boom, it's gone. Not, "Switch to the workplace that has the Web browser running, open a new tab, go to gmail, and watch a company with more programming power than any other organization on planet earth give you a…progress bar."
--https://web.archive.org/web/20160304055551/http://stephenramsay.us/2011/04/09/life-on-the-command-line/
{BL #7221}

@4236. TSA: Thousands Standing Around

@4237. "Wow, you guys are smart. You must have gone to college. Or...you're *in* college." --Prof. May

@4238. "You guys, I think you're learning something!" --Prof. May

@4241. "Ooh, nicely done, Dr. May. Sometimes I even surprise myself." --Prof. May

@4242. "Now you're onto something, but you kinda goofed up." --Prof. May

@4243. "When Cicero was writing this, he didn't go, 'Hmm, I think this should be an ablative of means...no, wait...'" --Prof. May

@4244. "[Cicero wrote this] because he said, 'Someday Rachel will be translating this sentence and I *want to kill her*.' Because he's perverse." --Prof. May

@4246. "Latin and Greek, they keep you humble." --Prof. May

@4247.
Prof. May: "You're sitting in the dark. Does that describe your mental state?"
Student: "Yes."
Prof. May: (flipping the light switch) "Fiat lux."

@4248. "If you *don't* put the work in, you're gonna die." --Prof. May

@4253. "My eyes are turned to *this music*, O Lord. / In *this* I put my trust. / Strip me not of *this music*..." --Dr. Aspaas

UPDATE: Even several years down the road, I can no longer sing this portion of the Vespers service without smiling.

@4258. In the project guidelines for a HD project: "If you have a (working) Makefile, submit it with the rest of the files."
And if you wrote a Makefile and it doesn't work, then just don't even bother.

@4266. "Bugzilla Bug Exposes Zero-Day Bugs" --Slashdot headline

@4267. "Booo. Stop taking classes." --#overheard by the POs

@4268. So I've been frustrated with mutt's slow loading of large mailboxes for about the past 6 months, and today I decided to do some research on it. It turns out that, although I had in fact enabled header caching in my muttrc and had oddly not noticed any effect, the folder that I was telling it to store the cache files in didn't exist, and it had been silently failing for the past 6 months because I forgot to run 'mkdir'. Not brilliant UI design there, but it's actually kind of funny too.

@4271. Wikipedia article title: "List of laundry topics"

@4274. "That was some good harp work on the harp." --Dr. Hodel

@4275. "Because these are great parts. From the crack-smoking copyists of Paris." --Dr. Hodel

@4278. "Cannot create directory: no such file or directory"

@4281. "I HUMBLY REQUEST FOR YOUR ASS"
http://www.cracked.com/article_17270_100-unintentionally-hilarious-spam-subject-lines.html

@4283. "See, you're being taught by a very famous person." --Dr. May, after someone mentioned that he'd been named a "Distinguished Professor"

@4284. Dr. May told us that he was on a study abroad trip once, and one of the assignments they did was to keep a journal while they were there. He had one student turn in his copy with about five pages paperclipped together and a sticky note reading, "Dr. May, don't read this part." Of course he did...it was about some romantic encounter he'd had with this Greek girl, but it wasn't anything particularly bad.

Seriously, though, did the guy have no other paper? It wasn't like he didn't know he was going to be asked to turn it in and have his professor read it.

@4285. Tomorrow will be the fifth anniversary of Random Thoughts! I'm considering whether it might be a good idea to break RT into a new file at the five-year mark, simply because a 1MB text file starts to make the text editor run a little bit sluggishly. It's super-nice to have everything together and know a search within the file will find anything, but it is frankly beginning to get annoying. Two files would not be a huge burden, though – maybe I could keep an "archive" file and a "current" file and, if I needed further splits, just keep appending to the "archive" file.

@4286. It's sure been a journey, hasn't it? 4286 entries later?

@4287. "This is my editor. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My editor is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My editor, without me, is useless. Without my editor, I am useless."
http://jeromyanglim.blogspot.com/2011/01/reasons-for-transitioning-to-vim.html

@4288. "After 33 years of [working] with Emacs, anything less powerful (e.g. Eclipse) just makes me want to throw the keyboard in frustration."

@4289. "Do I laugh when I'm grading students' quizzes? More often I cry." --Dr. May

@4290. "People ask me, what's it like to be dean? I tell them, being dean of the college is like being a psychologist or a priest: All these people come in and tell you things you wish you never heard, and then you can't tell anyone about it." --Dr. May

@4291. In Great Con a little while ago, someone said that Bacon died in "1962", rather than 1626.

@4294. It is the spoken-of fifth anniversary of the creation of Random Thoughts.
Other metrics: 183,000 words, recently broke 1,000,000 characters. It's actually pretty cool to have broken a million characters -- millions are something we don't come into contact very often in our everyday lives.

@4295. "The lights go down, and someone goes 'BRAVO!' You're like, 'SHUDDUP!'" --Dr. Aspaas, on people not being quiet at the end of Christmas Festival

@4296. "According to Joyce scholar Jack Dalton, the first edition of _Ulysses_ contained over two thousand errors but was still the most accurate edition published."

@4298. I really want to use the word "half-assed" in my Great Con paper, but I'm not sure that would be appropriate...

@4300. "It is always better to let a knave live than to kill a good man, for the world will still have knaves, and must have them, but of good men there are few." --Martin Luther

@4302. "'I say that your grace is correct in everything,' responded Sancho, 'and that I am an ass.'" --Don Quixote (201)

@4303. "Hi, welcome to [Fast Food]. This is [Coworker] speaking. Would you like to donate a dollar to end the world?"

@4305. "Thanks a lot and I am looking forward to touch you. Will you please drop me a mail?" --spam comment

@4306. So I discovered that Amtrak is so often late that they've added the following *static* message at the top of the tracker:
"Trains often make up time en route. In many cases, recovery time that is built in to the schedule may result in the train arriving at or departing from the following stations on time. Please contact Amtrak at 1-800-USA-RAIL (1-800-872-7245) for full details on arrival status."
Yes, even when the train is listed as on time, as today.

@4307. "After all, we've caught up to ants, and *they* don't seem too concerned. Sure, we seem like we've taken over the planet, but if I had to bet on which one of us would still be around in a million years – primates, computers, or ants – I know who I'd pick." --_What If?_

@4308. "The [staircase deviance] experiment was basically a license to be weird and a huge asshole to people in the name of science, which was pretty fun." --CB16.65

@4316.
Me: "Set an alarm for 6:50."
Readout: "Send an alarm for 6:50."
Siri: "You don't have any alarms for 6:50. But you do have this one: (6:00)."
(All bad voice recognition aside, what would it even mean to "send an alarm"? Clearly it was ready to do something with it.)

@4317. In a conversation with Papa and Grandpa about being made to think something really small was making an environmental difference (see also #4263), I was thinking again about what I thought on the mission trip to Manassas about the dumb placard above the flushless urinal that suggested that you were helping to save the environment by using this urinal (CB 6.69-70). Thus:
"Pee here to save the world!" --me
{BL CB26.34, #8651}

@4321. I saw a pest control van with the vanity plate "EARWIG." Really, I'd rather see one that says "NOEARWIGS" or something – the state of earwigness doesn't seem like quite the right message to be conveying.

@4324. Lecturer: "Now the test is mostly multiple choice. The questions should be fairly simple; things like 'what is the capital of Europe?'"
(See also #1603.)

@4325. "In theory, after fully understanding this chapter, the reader should be able to go out and buy a large bag full of transistors and build this subset of the JVM machine. Students who successfully accomplish this task will be given extra credit (and a complete psychiatric examination)." --_Structured Computer Organization_

@4328. "As academics, we have the enormous luxury of being able to waste 1 bit to give a cleaner and simpler design." --_Structured Computer Organization_

@4329. "This process [the fetch-decode-execute cycle] goes on and on until somebody gets bored with it and turns the machine off." --_Structured Computer Organization_

@4330. "Activate your hazards (or, as my daughter calls them, the 'park anywhere lights')." --Lifehacker comment

@4331. "If you're eating whole foods, you want to eat what you're eating. You know what I mean?"

@4334. "Latin has different plurals for different parts of speech."
Huh?

@4335. "All right, I have to go and build my resume." --#overheard as the closing of a phone conversation in the dorm room next to mine

October 15, 2014
@4337. "The Toxic Airborne Event. I've heard it's important, but I don't know what it is." --#overheard on campus

@4338. "Can you let 'mp' mean 'more power'?" --Dr. Aspaas
(cf. #4 – wow, this is definitely the only time I've ever referenced a single-digit RT entry)

@4339. I had the idea that timetables should include a standard deviation, or perhaps 50% and 95% one-sided confidence intervals (since transportation usually cannot be early), along with the actual timetabled time. It would give you a much more realistic picture of the actual on-time performance and how long it would really likely take you.

@4341. My voice is working better than it has been over the past few days, as my cold is starting to get better, but today I also have the very odd property of having no working falsetto – I try to do it, even quite loudly, and it just doesn't engage at all, there's just weird hissing air. The first time it happened in choir during a warmup I just laughed it off, then when I tried to do a high-pitched cheer later and it still didn't work, I realized what was going on.
{BL CB23.11}

@4343. "The passive active infinitive." --#ankiblunders

@4344. "[The test] won't be impious, but it could be nefarious." --Dr. May

@4345. "On the Internet, nobody can hear you being subtle." --Linus Torvalds

October 17, 2014
@4346. "The pen is not really leaking in this case, it's just the user's capping technique that leaves something to be desired."

@4347. "Fountain pen ink is basically colored water."

@4349. "It's aesthetically sexistly imperfect. That is totally not a word." --me
(15K hits on Google.)

@4352.
"""
Too Many Decks Create Too Much  Confusion
How Do I Reorganize Them In Different Folders ??
""" --#ankiforums

@4354. So the Walgreens in Northfield has about three-quarters of an aisle of household cleaners, but they have neither vinegar nor plain household ammonia. What is this world coming to...

@4356. "It's like when all the immigrants went through Ellis Island." --RAB, on some element of an ALU

@4357. I just #misread "indelible" as "inedible": "When dry, this ink has a permanent black color and is inedible."

@4358. While helping Mama with a technical problem:
Mama: "How many things have I done wrong?"
Me: "I don't know. Three, I think."

@4360. In an article in the Mess about a campaign to eliminate teen smoking:
"Periodically updated, this table of numbered facts [no antecedent for 'this'] occupy most of the screen in little tan boxes, offering search functions such as death, race, and women."

@4361. I'm often amazed by how much gets left behind in practice rooms. I can understand some music or rosin or a mouthpiece or whatever, or even the iPhone I found once, but often it's much larger stuff. Like today, someone had left the paper and two large bouquets of flowers on top of the piano.

October 20, 2014
@4362. "[This] raises the curious idea that we buy cars...with an underdeveloped sense of how to use them. This is true for many things, arguably, but not knowing what the F9 key does in Microsoft Word is less life-threatening than not knowing how to properly operate antilock brakes." --_Traffic_

@4364. "Other things being equal, fast and efficient is always better than slow and inefficient."

@4368. This HD problem asks us to create two different assembly language translations of a code fragment. It doesn't give any guidelines as to what needs to be different, so I'm very tempted to make the second one be identical to the first with a single NOP somewhere in it. Actually even more so since Bryan will be grading it and I know he would appreciate that.

@4369. "It's not rocket surgery." --Dr. Aspaas

@4372. Mama sent me an email pointing out that I was learning to read when I was 17 months old.
{BL #4900}

@4373. "You can't see because of the glory of the heavens here." --RAB, when the sun shining on the document camera was making the projection hard to read

@4375. "Even God has not read the terms and conditions."

@4377. "CH/BI: more accurate when reversed" --T-shirt

@4379. "Let me sniff it on the web." --me, about a scented laundry detergent whose picture said to "sniff here"

@4380. I was getting all mad at Discover because I have a payment due in two days and they haven't sent me any reminder or statement email yet. Then I realized the balance due is $0.00.

@4384. "When it breaks, you get to keep both pieces."

@4385. I was just working on my linear homework (doing some research on the Mathematica assignment) and somehow found myself reading the article on _Matilda_ on Wikipedia.

@4386. Just took a step back for some reason as I'm doing my Latin and realized how cool it is that I'm reading poetry by Catullus. This was written more than two thousand years ago, and I can still understand it, and it's still beautiful.

@4387. "In this case, we're trying to get really bad boxes to people who don't want them." --Prof. Diveris on the logistics of flying bombers, after discussing those of UPS

@4388. Dr. May told us a story today: He was teaching an introductory Latin course, and he wrote "Carpe diem" on the board and asked if anyone knew what it meant. Some guy raised his hand and said confidently, "Fish of God."

After class I was walking across campus unable to stop laughing to myself, knowing people must be thinking I was totally weird.

@4389. Sometimes Unix commands and their parameters can turn out unexpectedly humorous. Like the command I just used (which did exactly what I wanted): "locate books".

October 23, 2014
@4391. "Please enter 1084227584 floating point values, pressing Enter after each." --my program output

@4393. "As mentioned above, our Latin search algorithm has made you're life that much easier by preparing a list of Latin Words with similar sustenance as While."

October 25, 2014
@4395. Read a news article this morning in which they used the phrase "per say."

@4396. Curious idea: How would traffic and transportation (especially in cities, but also long-distance) have developed if people could fly? Supposing that we could move at a reasonable clip, maybe 30mph. Would we still have developed the same kinds of transportation technology? Obviously some things like the bicycle would be pretty much pointless in terms of their niche, although in high-density areas traffic could still be really bad without something like it, for the same reason that flying cars are an absolutely dreadful idea.

@4397. "The distribution of and copying of copyrighted digital files (music, videos, etc.) is a direct violation of copyright law."
Uh, no, it isn't. That would mean that it was illegal to legally purchase them.

@4398. "Are we crazy? (Hint: No.)" --_Structured Computer Organization

@4399. "Mr. Duncan provided me with an "affidavit of truth", a rather substantial volume that appeared to me to be the result of somebody doing a Google search for terms like "jurisdiction" and the like and then cobbling them together in such a way that it makes James Joyce's _Ulysses_ look like an easy read. This hodgepodge of irrelevancies relied upon by Mr. Duncan was one of the misbegotten fruits of the internet. Finding it was a waste of Mr. Duncan's time; printing it was a waste of trees and my reading it was a waste of my time and public money."
--qtd. in http://www.loweringthebar.net/2014/10/whom-the-gods-would-destroy-they-first-make-mad.html

@4404. Milton does this cool thing where he picks an unusual sense of a word and uses it, and when you read to it your mind jumps to that sense -- but many of them are footnoted, and I look at the note going "well duh, the stupid editor thinks I don't know this sense?", but then they point out that the more common use(s) are also being punned on.

@4405. "Is there anything I can do to get stepparent working again?" --autocorrect for "stoPrint"

@4406. #overheard on campus:
Girl 1: "...'Well, shit!' and I punched her right in the *face*!"
Girl 2: "Nice!"
{BL #4695}

@4407. "Is it *bad* if I have *two* bananas?" --#overheard in the caf line

@4410. Just want to put in a good word for Dr. Feldt's method of taking a video of our voice lessons and making us watch it. It is wonderful because you both don't have to worry that you're missing something or feel like you should be frantically scribbling down notes during the lesson and then actually do get a chance to pick up on the things that were said. And you get a second chance to hear stuff and let it sink in, regardless of whether you actually take notes on it or when you end up watching it (guilty of waiting until the last minute and until I've already practiced all I'm going to before the next lesson on occasion -- "on occasion" referring to all of last year).

@4416. #ankiforums:
Hi, everyone
Can you help me do this.
http://www.dynamicdrive.com/dynamicindex4/powerzoomer.htm
Thankyou very much

@4417. "Ok I am attaching the pictures of screen." --#ankiforums
Well, to be fair, that is what a screenshot is.

@4418. Apparently Dr. May owns a fire engine. Not a functional one, mind you; the pump is disconnected. But still, he has a freaking fire engine.
He said he used to drive it in the homecoming parade, but now there isn't one, so most of the time it just sits around unless he can find an excuse to use it or just randomly feels like driving a fire truck.

@4424. "Yours Truly – I don't like this. It makes me feel like I'm ten years old and getting a note from a pen pal in Sweden." --list of email closings

@4429. "Thanks for all people !" --#ankiforums

@4431. "[The second choir], though, had almost no energy and did the most impotent and lethargic rendition of the F. Melius 'Wake, Awake' I had thought possible." --CB11.21

@4433.
Me: "Good morning, ma'am. How can I help you?"
Customer: "ALLERGIC REACTION!"

@4434. "I just need to talk to someone who knows a decent amount about things." --caller to the Helpdesk

@4438. "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." --(supposedly) Abraham Lincoln

@4440. "Oh my, Lesbia. [Catullus] likes her." --Dr. May

@4442. "Well, you could do that, but then it wouldn't be quite right, would it?" --Dr. May

@4443. "Any problems? ...Latin problems. I know you have problems." --Dr. May
(Cf. #3944)

@4444. "It's the destruction of that beautiful movement, of the Requiem mass, and they're putting it on a toilet." --Dr. May, about the overuse of this piece in commercials

@4445. "I'm not sure what your computer people were smoking..." --what I kind of want to say to someone on #ankiforums

@4446. Written on a page by itself in an old notebook: "Viking bird orgy"
I'm guessing this was some sort of dream, based on the content near it. But I have no memory of it at all...

@4450. "If you pay more cash to Intel you get more cache in return." --_Structured Computer Organization_

@4452. I had a Northfield community member come up to me at the library desk today and ask me, "So you're the it help?" (Pronounced as the pronoun.) I thought this was a joke and laughed, but then she asked me anyway if I could help her get a library card, and after some thought I realized she probably actually didn't know the acronym "IT".
{BL CB23.65}

@4453. "If I ever had a walrus, I would name it Wallus." --#overheard in the choir room in the Basilica of St. Mary with Chapel Choir

@4454. "50 Shades of Grey! Yeah!" --#overheard on the bus (exclaimed loudly)

@4459. "Ever since I got my third concussion, my math skills are depleted very severely." --#overheard on campus

@4460. So the other day I came out of my room and was walking along the hall and all of a sudden my head smashed into something. I looked up to see that I'd crashed into an exit sign -- but I swear I'd never noticed it there before now, and I certainly hadn't bumped my head into it. (I'm good at bumping my head into things – usually I would have hit my head on everything I'm going to this year by now!) I really doubt that someone just put it up, though...

@4464. """
while doing this  suddenly anky stops and something tells me that there is a mistake and I should send a mail to describe the mistake.
what can I do in order to solve the problem?
""" --#ankiforums

Personally I'd suggest "sending a mail to describe the mistake," but maybe that's just me.

@4467. "Thus, for example, a 20x20 matrix will require about 20! = 2,432,902,008,176,640,000 multiplications [to compute the determinant], far more than is remotely practical." --linear algebra textbook

@4469. I can't quite bring myself to address this #ankiforums response to "Slightly Furious," so I'm just going to start it with a blank "Hello"...

@4470. "National Fuck with the Clocks Day" --Slashdot comment
{BL #9186}

@4473. "That said, it's not all roses and affordable health care." --JMG

@4474. "The 112th Annual St. Olaf Choral Festival and Manitou" --someone at the end of the concert, complaining about how long Manitou had sung
{BL #4488}

@4475. I heard someone sing "exselsis" at the concert as well. That made me cringe.

@4476. "Now if only that blond kid was in [our] choir, my life would be complete." --#overheard at Choral Day (high school girl)

@4478. Also, I saw someone in the first row of CC reading with his book hidden behind his choral score. I *completely* understand and don't judge him at all for it during Choral Day, but it's still pretty funny to see someone in a college choir using the junior-high slacking-off tactic.

@4479. Dr. Armstrong told us today that there are three kinds of "ugly":
+ Normal ugly - we're all human, and we can't help this. Just keep it to a minimum.
+ Mugly - "mucho ugly." We don't want this.
+ Bugly - "butt ugly." We *really* don't want this.

He called a few passages "mugly" later, but I don't think we ever got to "bugly."
{BL PC Armstrong; §DegreesOfUgliness}

November 03, 2014
@4482. "But I thought that was kind of beyond what I could ask you to do, and sure enough, it was." --RAB

@4483. I feel like this RAB quote is my life in tech support:
"Can you verbalize a question about it?"

@4484. "I have always been trying to reform Choral Day. But it's a bit like trying to steer an aircraft carrier with a tongue depressor." --Dr. Aspaas

@4486. One more thing from Choral Day: the conductor of the community choir (Beau Chant) had some of the most beautiful conducting technique I've ever seen. He was so elegant and could flick his fingers and everything around with almost infinite dexterity and flexibility and made it look so easy and natural. He didn't use a baton, of course; it would have just prevented him from conducting.

@4487. When I talked to my parents over the weekend, Papa told a story from the Blackbird. A young woman and her boyfriend in their early twenties came in and sat down and were talking for a while, and when there was a bit of a lull, the guy idly picked up a book from one of the shelves that run around the room. The girl goes, "What are you *doing*!?"

Papa said that this was a sign that he should dump her and walk out on the spot before he got any further into this relationship.

@4489. So I went and scanned CB23. All went without a hitch. When I got back to my computer and plugged the flash drive in, I discovered that the copier had decided that I would prefer a drawing of a tree in all of my images along with the notebook itself in the corner of the image. (There were also colored blocks on a couple of them, but those I could understand as glitches. The tree...I can only suppose that someone scanned the drawing of a tree earlier and it somehow got stuck in memory.)
{BL CB24.07, CB35.20}

Definitely going to call this in to EO Johnson myself tomorrow morning. And show it to Phin, because I know he'll get a kick out of this -- definitely his kind of humor (or...technical problem?).

@4490. It took me about 30 minutes to vote rather than the 5 or so I expected. First I waited in the line to sign off and get a ballot only to find that although I had preregistered, said registration hadn't actually gone through, so I then had to go wait in the registration line and reregister (an irritating process). Then I filled out the ballot carefully. While on the last three offices, in which I was specifying that I wanted the one person listed rather than a write-in, I accidentally filled in both "write-in" and the candidate. Naturally, this made the entire ballot invalid, so I had to fill out the whole stupid thing again (repeatedly filling in little ovals is not too much fun anyway, and doing it *twice* is definitely not fun). I also had to balance rushing (because I had a meeting with Dr. May right afterwards) with not rushing so I wouldn't spoil the whole thing again.

@4492.
In manner free
From blasphemy
Or bigotry or bribery

Permit me to
Explain to you
The art of unsubscribery.

For though the note
You lately wrote
Was kind and intellectual,

Such emailed pleas
To lists like these
Are wholly ineffectual.

The proper plan
For such a ban
(I pray you, don't get nervous) is

To find the site
To set things right.
Its name is "Account Services."

And there, I think,
You'll find a link
Which, thank the heavens gaily, is

Designed to free
You from the sea
Of emails to this alias.

And if you find
You change your mind
About this list extraneous,

You always can
Rescind the ban
On emails miscellaneous.

Therefore be free
From agony,
And do not stoop to jibery,

But live in love,
A model of
St. Olaf unsubscribery.

http://www.stolaf.edu/personal/aliases.html
--Alex Kirstukas '14

@4494. Pax Intrantibus

@4495. When I talked to Grandpa for a few minutes after the Basilica concert last Thursday, he was talking about how not many people around him seemed to really be singing, and he got from there onto the idea that singing -- in groups, for the everyday person -- really isn't a thing anymore, or isn't encouraged. The barbershop thing has disappeared (not recently, of course, but it was the mentality), weekly church-going isn't so much of a thing, and recently we don't even sing the national anthem together, so much that I wouldn't be surprised if some of today's children are growing up not even knowing the words. That is actually a recent change, at least its complete proliferation -- I can remember still when I was a child being asked to sing it at numerous events, but now I couldn't tell you when the last time was.

@4496. "The issue seemed to have resolved after I sunce my iPhone then ipad." --#ankiforums
(See #3098 -- only a little bit off!)

@4498. These "public minutes" are the most useless thing ever, containing such lines as "Sex in the Lounge" which either have no meaning or sound really bad to anyone who wasn't there.

@4499. "It's probably necessary at this point to note that yes, I'm quite aware that European feudalism had its downsides--that it was rigidly caste-bound, brutally violent, and generally unjust. So is the system under which you live, dear reader, and it's worth noting that the average medieval peasant worked fewer hours and had more days off than you do." --JMG

@4500.
Me: "What's the name of the program you're using?"
Her: "I don't know. I just click on it."

@4502. Exactly matches what I think about mice:
I actually don't have a problem with programs that *do* make use of the pointer.  Sometimes the mouse works well, in fact.  The problem IMO is over-reliance, which I was almost completely oblivious to until I switched to a tiling window manager myself.  This is made worse by programs that do not have good keybindings and, in other words, actually *require* the use of the mouse just to function properly.  IMO a well-designed GUI application should be mouse-aware, but also be comfortably and completely controlled by the keyboard if needed.  This, I think, is where so many GUI applications fail miserably.  Well, other than often being bloated, but that's beside the point.

@4503. "I love tmux apart from its C-b prefix key, which has to be one of the worst default keybindings of all time."

@4505. "Actually, division doesn't exist." --Prof. Diveris

@4506. "Everyone has bar lines in their part?" --Dr. Hodel
(meaning bar *numbers*)

@4507. "Musicians have to count." --Dr. Hodel

@4509. At the Classics Festival on Wednesday where we wound up spending most of our time chatting with our friends because there was nothing to do, I had a brief talk with Emily and Ben and someone else about online Latin dictionaries/grammar resources and whatnot. I was interested to find that all of them also knew about some online ways to look up what some strange particle was, as I often do with Wiktionary. But they also understood that doing so too often was a bad idea just for learning's sake, and were quite aware of the potential for abuse, something that seems to be lost on myriad language students who don't get why typing things into Google Translate constantly is cheating, much less bad for their understanding.
{BL CB24.9}

@4511. "thank's)" --#ankiforums

November 07, 2014
@4513. "What happened on February 7, 2013, was a technicality: the Mississippi Secretary of State officially informed the National Archives that his state had indeed ratified the 13th Amendment. For a reason that is still unclear, this notice wasn't given immediately after the state took that action, but everyone who is making fun of Mississippi for not 'ratifying' the 13th Amendment until 2013 is being unfair. It did *that* way back in 1995." --Lowering the Bar

@4514. Voltaire, on his deathbed, asked to renounce the devil: "Now is not the time for making new enemies."

@4517. "He [my dad] is really good at running a company, but when it comes to life, he kind of sucks." --#overheard outside Boe

@4519. "This update has Greek to me!" --#ankiforums (from the Anki 2 upgrade days)

@4520. "Quin (after negative verbs of doubting)"

@4521. I just typoed and pressed '.' on a word I was intending to change in vim...and it just so happened that the last (unrelated) edit I made was exactly what was needed to change it to the word I wanted. That was really kind of freaky.

@4522. "Sold: Free - Fluorescent Light Fixtures"
Doing a good job at selling free items, eh?

@4523. "The benefit of keeping a diary is that it helps me figure out what the hell I'm doing with my time on earth." --John Sundman
{BL several Year in Review entries}

@4524. Listening to my voice reflection. I really think my speaking voice has gotten better (more likable to me) since taking voice lessons, despite not thinking about it at all. In the past I've liked my recorded singing voice better than through myself but really disliked my speaking voice comparatively, but I think it's gotten better. It still sounds lower than it does to me, though.

@4525. This is the article about abstraction, computer science, commodification, advocacy for the old type of software and against cloud / Facebook / advertising. Great article. {BL CB24.10} {BL CB27.16}
http://contraposition.org/blog/2014/10/29/the-societal-cost-of-computer-science/

@4526. I just noticed I wrote the phrase "while turning down their noses" in this blog entry. (cf. #798)

@4527. "It's like reinventing the wheel, based on you only ever seeing a bike travel down stairs. Then wondering why people complain about the fact that you decided a square wheel would be better. A square wheel may very well provide better traction on the stairs, but you've missed the bigger picture." --Slashdot comment about systemd

@4528. "What we have above what we can use is not properly *ours*, though we possess it." --Benjamin Franklin

@4529. "For even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome [my pride], I would probably be proud of my humility." --Benjamin Franklin

@4530. "LaFlower said the calls are a scam, and that police do not call people before they serve legitimate arrest warrants."
In case you were wondering.

@4531. In one poll, 10% of Germans stated they did not know whether the earth goes around the sun or vice versa.
http://www.gallup.com/poll/3742/new-poll-gauges-americans-general-knowledge-levels.aspx
(see #2591)

@4532. Oldest Girl: "Was the cat in the oven again?"

@4539. "What she did was dismiss his case, but still not until after another exchange in which N'Ge-Sala managed to become totally incomprehensible, such as promising the judge that 'as long as God will be alive, you be picked up like a wet rubbish bag by the Interpol police.' It's interesting how something can clearly be insulting though it has no actual meaning whatsoever." --Lowering the Bar

@4542. I totally walked right in on someone in a practice room today. He was playing cello facing the window and hadn't turned the light on in the room, despite the fact that it was about dusk, so seeing there was no light in the window, I opened the door.

@4544. "So if you're not doing anything, why don't you come over after work yesterday for dinner?"

@4545. So the internet connection on campus just went out. I walked down to the Helpdesk to see if it was just me, and I stood there for a second waiting for someone else to stop talking, and before I'd even said a word, someone at the desk told me, "Yep, it's down, campus-wide, until further notice." Telepathy!

@4549. I literally had to cut a page in my HD textbook -- like, with a pair of scissors. The page had been partly folded into the book when they cut and trimmed it, so there was this weird part sticking out.

@4552. #ankiforums:
I was looking for the Tag to select ( from the list of Tags ),
did not see the tag I was looking for;
clicked CANCEL intending to verify the Tag name in the Browser.
Alas ! The Deck was created -- converting 43 Review cards to NEW type !!!

(See also #3854 for more alasness)

@4555. "Don't be a balloon. Eeeeeeeeee!" --Dr. Aspaas

@4556. Almost typed 'rm *' instead of 'rm !$'. (Fortunately, the directory was under git control, so it wouldn't be a huge deal even if I had hit Enter.)

@4557. "We're not in Britain, spell-checker." --me, after it complained about the word "practicing"

@4558. One of my biggest typographical pet peeves is hyphenation in ragged-right texts. I get that it's supposed to make the edges more consistent, but hyphenation makes the text considerably harder to read, and it's jarring to run into it without the benefit of identical-length lines.

It's annoying, then, that my blog does this and I don't know how to fix it!

@4560. Astronomers Discover Planet Identical To Earth With Orbital Space Mirror

@4561. "If you're complaining about government spying on the Internet, or in a gathering of programmers, and you won't take basic steps to do anything about it, then you're a hypocrite, full-stop. I will personally come to your terminal and demand the return of your complain license."

@4564. "This mode [register indirect addressing for branches] gives the most flexibility since the target address is computed at run time. It also presents the greatest opportunity for creating bugs that are nearly impossible to find." --_Structured Computer Organization_

@4565. My coat has been misappropriated from outside the caf, along with the Locke book that I had in it and needed to read for tomorrow (which is going to be a great #excuse for why I didn't do the GC reading). Due to the book in the pocket, I'm kind of suspicious that somebody could have taken it accidentally, but I'd like to give them the benefit of the doubt since we're at St. Olaf. But I'm really pretty pissed, especially if it was actually stolen -- taking somebody's coat in winter is just an asshole thing to do. It's fucking 13 degrees outside and I don't have a coat. Also, I *really* need to go to Northfield, but seeing as I might freeze to death if I do that without a coat, that's not happening. If I don't get it back, I'm not sure what I'll do, either. (Buy a new one this Thanksgiving break? Hehe.)

@4566. Hmm, another post to stolaf-extra about a missing green jacket. Is there a Coat Stealer going around?

@4567. "When I program in JavaScript, I feel like I'm standing on the shoulders of midgets."

@4568. "Editor: A person employed on a newspaper whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed." --Elbert Hubbard

@4569. When I first started using advanced Python, I thought nested functions were the weirdest thing ever. Now I love them.

@4570. An #ankiforums post without a question in it...just one declarative sentence containing "I assume."

@4571. In the Mess, about the Classics Festival recently held (CB...?):
"'We're just glad nobody died,' Groton said. 'We didn't lose any students, and we may have gained 588.'"

@4576. I'm doing some work on the Anki manual and came across an option that's supposedly on the More menu in the review screen: "Card Options." It doesn't exist, and to my memory never has. (There's just a plain "Options," which edits the deck's options; I'm not sure how that turned into "Card Options.")

@4579. Listening to recordings of a song I'm working on for voice lessons, and one of them has this bizarre stereophonic effect where the soloist's voice sounds like it's going around you in circles repeatedly, like one of the goofy experimental things the Beatles did. But it's a Bach oratorio. Not sure what the recording engineers were smoking at the time.

@4580. I'm so glad that my metronome app has gained 64-bit support.

@4582. "Oh, that's right, Soren will have nothing at all to add to the discussion." --Prof. Willcoxon, being flippantly mean to me after I explained I hadn't read because the book in my coat was stolen

@4583. "That's kinda a Velveeta slice, and I want Gouda." --Dr. Aspaas

@4584. "It's like walking across the Grand Canyon on dental floss." --Dr. Aspaas

@4585. Believe it or not, my VCS E-locker is still accessible from the online NetStorage system. Apparently they never bother to delete old accounts...

@4586. In other news, the VCS is still using Novell NetWare in 2014. I hear they're planning to switch to Google Apps at some point; this might be the last year of Novell?

@4587. "We have other reasonable sets,and please try to directly request your hopes." --Amazon product description

@4588. I totally want to share the fact that I just bought a package of Band-Aids with all my friends on Facebook, Amazon.

@4589. Wow, this is the easiest Latin assignment we've had all year, I think. There were good notes, and they were relatively simple sentences, and I got it done in around 35 minutes. Which is a really good thing since I started it at 12:40AM after spending a really, really long time trying to figure out why the hell my linear algebra homework wasn't turning out. It turned out that I'd flipped some signs early in the problem... on BOTH problems I couldn't get. Someone needs to go back to fourth grade and practice working with negative numbers a bit more!
{BL CB24.34}

@4592. "You have to do the backwards Aflac." --Dr. Aspaas

@4594. I continue to be rather curious about why every practice room (or most of them, anyway) has its own trash can and recycling bin. I mean, yeah it's occasionally useful, but it seems like an awful lot of work to have to come around and empty them when you could just put a single can in the hall. It's not like anyone would go to Tim Wells' office and be like, "C'mon man, give us each our own recycling bin in the practice rooms! It's so much work to go out in the hall!"

@4599. The Onion's guide to whether you should do your Black Friday shopping online, in the pros of online shopping:
"Ability to read 1,634 reviews of $12 iPhone case before committing to purchase"

So true!

@4600. "Give me Error sharing!!!" --#ankiforums subject (complaining about an error received while sharing a deck)

@4601. So I went to Northfield this afternoon to pick up some food at the coop and get my hair cut, as I often do. When I got downtown after about 15 minutes (I had to work on moving quickly because I left a little bit late and I had orchestra rehearsal to get back to), I came up to one of the bridges across the river and found the road was blocked off. Was the sidewalk? The left side had a big "Sidewalk Closed" sign, but the right didn't, and the walk was clear all the way across. I went over there and saw that the plastic orange fencing stuff was on the ground, but it definitely looked intentional. Seeing no impediments (literally), I walked over to it and was about to step on when I heard in a monotone, "Hey bud." Knowing I was in a construction zone, I figured it might be about me, so I looked around for the source, which was not easy because it had been relatively quiet. Eventually I spotted a guy leaning on the open doorway of his red SUV. When he caught my eye, he said -- I kid you not -- "No." It took him another couple of seconds to add something like, "You can't go through there." There were probably about 500 politer ways to get that message across.

It's really sad that I was alone at the time, because "Hey bud, no!" would be a great inside joke.
{BL CB24.38, CB27.46}

@4604. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berserk_llama_syndrome
That has to be one of the best names ever. Sounds a bit like a #bandname too.

@4606. "It sounds a bit like stepping on a cat's tail." --JBobb

@4608. "Dante's /Divina Commedia/, to cite the obvious example, is neither a scientific paper nor a technological invention; does that mean that it belongs in the same category as the noise made by hogs grunting in the mud?" --JMG

@4610. A tech note on WebHelpDesk:
"Wants to turn on duplex printing, will likely need remote session. Told her to go to system preferences->printers and scanners->options and supplies->options->duplexing. Would not listen to me, didn't go to system prefs, kept trying to change the options through the print dialogue even though I explicitly told her how to get to system preferences, blamed me for running out of paper and being late for her meeting."

@4619. "I sorry by my English" --#ankiforums

@4622. I'm trying to write a document in Markdown, which uses backticks (`) to represent code sections that should be in monospaced font. Thing is, the code I needed to quote was... two backticks. It turns out the correct way to escape this is:

``` `` ```

@4623. "Hit me with all your guns!" --Dr. May, frequently when he gets several questions
I thought this had to be a quote from something, but I googled it in quotation marks and there were *zero* results.

@4624. "But 'utinam' could be like 'would to the cat' or something." --Rachel, defending her use of 'utinam Deo' rather than just 'utinam'
{BL 4763}

@4625. "Zach, you've finally chosen the right word!" --Dr. May

@4627. "Can you believe that there are 900 students in Minnesota studying Latin? You're not alone!" --Dr. May

@4628. "Back in those days, when everyone was a hippie except me..." --Dr. May

@4629. The 4 Stages of Drunkenness:
- jocose
- bellicose
- lachrymose
- comatose

@4633. "If mathematics is magic, statistics is stage magic." --someone at Great Con lunch
{BL #5709}

@4636. I lost my coat AGAIN. This time I'm suspecting I just misplaced it, because I'm not nearly as certain about where I left it, I just kind of tossed it. Although I'm a bit suspicious because I seemed to remember it in about the same spot that my other one was taken. Update later... (Update: I found it where I left it. It was just hidden.)

@4640. GNU EMACS has been expanded to "Generally Not Used, Except by Middle-Aged Computer Scientists"
This is so (at least stereotypically) true, though...look at RAB, for instance.

@4643. Found buried in the computer usage policy from 'legaluse' on CS lab computers:
Game playing, irc, and similar uses of computers are not permitted
via modem, over the campus network or the Internet, or in public
or department labs.

You can tell nobody has looked at these for a while...

@4646. "Oh, I guess there was a tiny fracture of tuning." --me
Sounds cooler than "fragment," I guess.

@4648.
This article has multiple issues. Please help improve it or discuss these issues on the talk page.
- This article needs additional citations for verification. (September 2012)
- Some or all of this article's listed sources may not be reliable. (September 2012)
- This article may require cleanup to meet Wikipedia's quality standards. The specific problem is: original research essay that is mostly false; mixing mosh pit issues with crowd surfing; irrelevant example. (June 2011)
- This article possibly contains original research. (May 2014)
- This article is written like a personal reflection or opinion essay that states the Wikipedia editor's particular feelings about a topic, rather than the opinions of experts. (May 2014)
- This article's factual accuracy is disputed. (May 2014)
- This article may primarily relate to a different subject, or to only one aspect rather than the subject as a whole. (May 2014)

(Are there any quality templates it *doesn't* have?)

@4649. Speaking of weird concert behavior, at the EMS & Collegium concert I went to last night, multiple people walked in, wandered around the chapel looking for a seat or someone they were with, and eventually sat down --- in the middle of a piece.

@4651. I'm sitting and doing my linear algebra homework. When I come to one of the problems, I realize I don't know exactly what a "vector space" is, so I go, "What is a vector space?", and I flip to the back of the book hoping to find it in the index or glossary or something. Handily, right where I'm looking, written in the back cover, is the definition of a vector space.

@4652. iab recieve YOU DUMMY YOU SPELLED IT WRONG

@4653. So Simple has had a thing for the past couple of months where they've had to delay their statements because of some issue getting them to work the way they wanted (I never bother looking at statements when I just look at the real-time feed, and I didn't need one for any reason, so I didn't pay attention to the exact situation). After they finally sent them, though, I thought they probably should have said something apologizing for the issue and assuring people that something like that won't happen again, because it's kind of unprofessional and not really confidence-inspiring. Then I realized that that would mean that they should issue a statement about statements, or perhaps a "statements statement."
(see also #4938)

@4654.
Me: "But if you change the order of the arguments, the value gets stored in the wrong place!"
Emma: "Yeah, and it works!"
Love assembly.

@4655. #ankiforums (fifya):
"Be Happy; Please." (Don't you like it as a motto?)
https://anki.tenderapp.com/discussions/ankidesktop/10519

@4656. "I think that kind of heads into the fruit incident." --Matt, describing the Fall

@4657. I forgot to mention that the other day we had an extended discussion in Latin about my coat having been stolen, and Dr. May said (among other threats) that if he saw someone wearing my coat he would break their knees and take it from them.

@4659. "Yeah, if you shoot all the birds on campus, we won't have a quiz." --Dr. May, after telling us that he was going to take the auspices to determine when our next quiz should be

@4661. For some reason the due time for our Great Con essay on Moodle is set at 11:55 PM. Screw the last four minutes of the day.

@4664. A noon cannon, sometimes called a 'meridian cannon', is a specialized sundial that is designed to create an 'audible noonmark', by automatically igniting a quantity of gunpowder at noon.

@4665. Just a sudden thought: I'm pretty sure my Kinesis is the only keyboard I've ever used where the spacebar is labeled. It just wouldn't quite be entirely obvious otherwise, would it?

@4666. Typing in the proof modifications of my paper. I circled a "them" and wrote "hanging", indicating that it didn't have a clear antecedent. But I just replaced it verbatim, leaving the sentence "God is everywhere and will always be with hanging."
("Message: I care"? #125)

@4667. Why you proofread: I almost turned in my paper with the title "Something about hope."

November 29, 2014
@4669. Lute and viol players spend 3/4 of their time tuning and the other 1/4 playing out of tune.
{BL #10896}

@4670. I had the thought that there should be some kind of media player specifically designed for practicing with recordings. It would have the ability to set semantic checkpoints based on the form of the music, and then you could select a specific range between them to play on repeat, easily jump back to other sections, and so on. Maybe there is -- I haven't done my research, so I'm not going to be complaining about the state of the world in the fact that it doesn't exist yet.

@4671. Street name: "Purgatory Creek Park"

@4675. "'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the machoest of them all?' And the mirror says, 'It ain't you, bro.'" --Grandpa BJ

@4676. "The French class was so easy, it wasn't even a French class." --Hannah
{BL CB24.68}

@4678. I couldn't think of the name "Wordsworth" when I was talking with Hannah the other night, and I called him "Woolsworth."

@4682. Just listened to "Alice's Restaurant" for the first time. I love it, but it did take up 18 minutes of my time that I didn't intend to give because I was expecting it to be something I could listen to in the background!
(cf. CB24.72)

November 30, 2014
@4689. At Christmas Festival choir/orchestra rehearsal:
Dr. Aspaas: "Start at F."
(He conducts a couple of bars, then stops, frowns, and looks at his score again.)
Dr. Aspaas: "No, sorry, P. I need new glasses."
{BL CB24.75, #6688}

@4690. "Why didn't you tell us that? I've been molto-con-blasting all this time!" --someone next to me, after Aspaas told us we should worry more about diction than volume

@4692. Also, my fourth verse of the processional hymn (to the tune of "All Glory, Laud and Honor"):
I do not know the wooords at alll to this verse.
I guess I'll have to learn them before we perform this!
Oh does it even matter what I am singgging:
Is anyone even listening to the words I am singing?

@4693. In high school there was this International Soccer Fest every year, which I never managed to get a chance to go to. But one time apparently the German students were singing during the game, and they ran out of good German songs that were appropriate for a soccer game and everyone knew, so they started singing the accusative prepositions song ("Durch für gegen ohne um [3x] Sie sind Akkusativ"). Evidently it was a hit, because nobody had any idea what they were singing, and it's quite catchy.

@4694. Also, we were supposed to wear ugly Christmas sweaters if we had them, and Jesse came with a shirt which had a bunch of battery-powered Christmas lights built into it (she'd just cut holes in it and glued them on, it appeared). She had to turn them off for most of the rehearsal because they were giving her a headache, but they were great.

@4695. While walking to dinner after mass choir, I #overheard the following between two Chapelites, sung to "Love Has Come":
Girl 1: "Help! Help! I am such a weirdo."
Girl 2: "Help! Help! I'll punch you in the face!"

They did some other things before that too, but that was by far the funniest, and was funny enough in the moment that I had to bury my face in my coat neck so they wouldn't see me laughing.

See also #4406.

@4697. "I don't think it's the fleece." --Dr. Feldt, trying to figure out why I seemed more relaxed than usual today

@4699. Was reading from CB3 at dinner tonight and ran across the incorrect phrase "I & Mama." Being the grammarian that I am, my immediate reaction (after concluding that the I couldn't be a Speedwords 'in' or anything an abbreviation) was to try to figure out why this was wrong, since it sounded so odd. And my first theory was, "Oh, 'Mama' is in the objective case, but 'I' is in the nominative." English doesn't work like that, Soren...not to mention that that has nothing to do with the reason it's wrong.

@4702. "Category A consists of things that are both affordable and useful, such as indoor plumbing. Category B consists of things that are affordable but useless, such as electrically heated underwear for chickens. Category C consists of things that are useful but unaffordable, such as worldwide 30-minute pizza delivery from low earth orbit." --JMG

@4703. During the Christmas Festival dress rehearsal today, I decided there is a class of chords which are determined not by their theoretical function but by their effect on the audience in the position they're in. I term them "eyebrow chords" -- they're the ones that make me raise my eyebrows when I hear them for the first time.

@4708. "But if someone use Anki and Ubuntu and is witty about it, please, help me !" --#ankiforums

@4709. "ACT ONE" --libretto translation of "ATTO SECONDO"

@4712. "plants solemnly battling" --spam subject

@4714. I'm so glad that my English -> Latin dictionary has the word "forsooth" in it. I need to look that one up all the time.

@4717. And the harpsichord sounds like (according to Sir Thomas Beecham):
"Two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm."
(Kate, later: "I'm never going to think of the harpsichord the same...")
{BL #5482}

@4721. This is definitely the quote of the week, and probably the #overheard of the semester. I had to stop to tie my shoe in the vestibule of Skog on my way out of Christmas Festival tonight, and there were two girls from Manitou standing there. The one girl says to the other:

"I'm so emotional tonight. I don't know why."

I've been thinking for a while about what commentary I could add to this, but there's really nothing that would make it a) more amusing to people who have been in Christmas Festival or b) funny at all to people who haven't. I can add, though, that I can say with confidence that she will understand by Sunday. And I can't say exactly what she'll understand, but she'll understand.

Update: this has become something I think about fairly regularly, as an instance of disconnection from emotion. The list of backlinks will probably continue to grow.
{BL #4739, CB31.32, CB35.43}

@4728. "I am not a native english speaker and a woman, too...." --#ankiforums

@4729. "All of these fonts and keyboards are in the public domain, and can not be sold or redistributed for commercial purposes."
Nice try there.

@4730. I think I have worked out the cause of the unpleasant "warmth" of some choirs that I've discussed previously (CB23.61): there isn't enough of the tenor part. This is of course a common choir problem, which is unfortunate because it really detracts from the sound. The warmth, then, is the more prominent bass and the relative lack of mid-frequencies between there and the alto. And it sounds kind of gritty because it's not filled in. I heard it some more in Cantorei this year, but it was much worse last year.

@4740. I had this wonderful moment on Wednesday that I'm not sure I talked about, right when we jumped down for Sleigh Ride. It was after all these rehearsals, all these hours of work and memorizing and stuff, and the guy who wondered if I wouldn't be happy not to be in Christmas Festival (CB25.7). And I had started to lose sight of the meaning of all of it, or I simply hadn't had it at the beginning. And then just suddenly it all made sense. There was the idea that we were going to do this, and that everything was absolutely, unequivocally worth it for what we could do to other people and to ourselves. Of course, it's like that now too. And I'm also sad because it's over, but at least I have another two years.

@4741. Actually, I'm really pretty sad, and I don't really want to do more homework right now (much less listen to _The Marriage of Figaro_ right now, which is what I'm supposed to do for Great Con -- NOT the right music for my mood). I'm not upset about it or anything, but in the words of Penny in _Myles to Go_, I just want to be sad right now.

I should probably also stop listening to last year's Beautiful Savior on repeat. That might help a bit.

@4742. Someone (I think it was Kristina and someone else) was telling me as we were walking in today that they'd decided that the theme for next year's Christmas Festival should be "Oh My Fucking Lord." She pointed to the panels reading "The World Renewed with Love Divine" and explained how awesome it would be if you walked into the hall and saw "Oh my fucking Lord" written up there.

@4743. I'm also being reminded what an incredible privilege it is to be part of the St. Olaf Christmas Festival. I knew that of course, but not on the same level that I'm realizing now.

@4745. "I beg your pardon, but I would like to contradict." --#ankiforums

@4746. "So yes, in some ways I still browse the web like it's 1995. On the other hand, back in 1995 most of the web was text, and much of that text was actual useful content, and what few graphics there were contributed to the text as relevant content. Now most of what's retrieved is crap, so I'm happy to ignore the crap to get at the actual content again." --Slashdot comment

@4749. Listening to last year's Christmas Fest and last year's Chapel Choir Requiem, which I didn't even have anything to do with, although I went. Recordings are such an amazing gift to the world, one of the best things of modern technology in my opinion. Seriously, maybe like just about *the* best.

@4751. "Return on suspicious stack pointer prdepth 1"

@4753. There are forty-nine characters in this sentence.
(An autological sentence.)
{BL #5157, #5328}

@4754. "I should exaggerate on that." --me
(i.e., elaborate)

@4757. In IT today, a AAA called and said someone was planning a lecture on Thursday and needed a "croakee machine" for it. I listened to the rest of her request, then asked her to repeat the item she needed, thinking I'd misheard.

-- "A croakee machine."

I suppose this must be some sort of brand name or combination tool that I'm not familiar with.

-- "I'm sorry, I don't know what that is. Can you explain what it's for?"
-- "It like, has a microphone..."
-- "Do you mean, like, a collar mic, for while you're lecturing?"
-- "No....it like, plays music."

At this point I put her on hold and give her name and description to the other three people in the Helpdesk at the moment. None of them have any idea what she's talking about either.

-- "So, who would normally handle this?"
-- "I don't know."
-- "Okay, well I can put in a ticket for you and we'll take a look and get back to you."
-- "Okay, should I spell it for you?"
-- "Yeah, that would be good."
-- "K-A-R-A-O-K-E."

Aha!

We had a good laugh about the "croakee machine" after I hung up. (I mean, it does have a microphone, and it plays music, you can't argue that. So does just about every other piece of complex multimedia equipment in the world, though.) The other remaining question is what in the world she needs a karaoke machine for in a biology lecture.

@4758. Also in IT today: A guy came in asking if we had soldering tools and electrical tape. I told him we had electrical tape but I didn't know where it was and we had soldering tools but I didn't know if we were allowed to let him use them. He then proceeded to show us what he needed them for. He pulled out a laptop power adapter that looked like it had been through some sort of torture camp: the brick was wrapped in two straps of duct tape and had hideously twisted and yucky cords coming out of both sides, one of which was frayed at the connection to the brick. He proceeded to remove the duct tape and open the brick, telling us that he'd opened it previously to repair a short (by prying it apart), then was too lazy to glue it back together, so he just duct-taped it. The problem he now wanted to fix was that the external cord had frayed and was no longer properly connected to the brick. This was the 120-volt power line, and he wanted to repair the broken and frayed connection with *solder and electrical tape*. I mean, I've done that with a pair of headphones (though I used permanent heat-shrink tubing, not electrical tape), but a *power line*?

I was polite about saying I didn't think we would be able to help him, and fortunately, by some ridiculous stroke of luck, someone at the desk (don't remember who anymore) had several spare adapters that he'd gotten for free with him in his computer bag, that happened to be the right kind, and so he just gave the guy one. Afterwards I made him give me the old one to discard it and took it and showed it to Phin and we both laughed at the idea. I thought afterwards that this would probably have been a good time to just respond to his initial request, "No."

@4761. "We go over and conquer Carleton, they all become our slaves. We should try that." --Dr. May

@4762. "Note that Cicero used the present in his indirect discourse. Which is okay. Of course it's okay, he did it." --Dr. May

@4764. "I'm a sadist on this stuff, huh?" --Dr. May, on his quiz policy

@4765. Just finished reading Book 5 of /Emile/, on the education and jobs of women. I had a pretty hard time not throwing it across the room.

@4766. "Sinking error" --#ankiforums
{BL #5482}

@4767. "Typically, things with properties we like are vector spaces." --Prof. Diveris

@4773. According to the project description, our assembly project for HD was due last year tomorrow at 11:59pm.

@4775. I was writing an email and went, "Hmm, I should check my email!"
(See also #1382.)

@4777. "Jesus is a lie" --#mondegreen of "alive"

@4778. "Since human beings depend for their survival and prosperity on the products of natural ecosystems, avoiding unnecessary disruption to those systems is arguably a good idea." --JMG

@4783. #ironyoftheday: my command "set nospell" didn't work because I spelled it "nospeel."

@4785. "Ooh, I work better with a black cursor." --someone trying to use one of the Helpdesk's computers

@4786. "...she never would have tarted stalking." --me

@4787. Looking at a comparison of MS PowerPoint 2013 and LibreOffice 4.3 (put out by the LO folks, so perhaps not quite neutral). One of the comparison points is "number of slide layouts," which can't but help remind me of the car salesman my grandpa and I dealt with one time who made sure to compare the number of cupholders that each minivan we looked at had (one of them had seventeen, but the other had twenty-one, if I remember right).
(Cf. CB48.36.)

@4790. "This is not HYPE! This is factual information." --spam email

December 13, 2014
@4791. "Have an oddly exciting day and may you live another day." --#ankiforums (fifya)

@4792. "On my birthday, that was written. 51 B.C." --Dr. May

@4793. "It's my favorite construction. It's the *double dative*! I have to announce this to the masses." (opens door, pokes head out) "IT'S THE DOUBLE DATIVE!" (slams door)
--Dr. May

@4794. I forgot to say that I helped a guy in IT on Thursday who came down to the Helpdesk because he kept getting a horizontal scroll bar and was really annoyed by it. The problem? The window wasn't wide enough to display all of the content.

@4796. "All ants measure their angles in radians." --Prof. Diveris
{BL #7278}

@4797. "It is more important to be realistic than perfect." --CB3.73

@4798. Had the thought the other day, thinking about my quote/commonplace book experiment again, that Random Thoughts really *is* a commonplace book, in almost every sense of the idea. A really good one, too. I think I might have vaguely considered this once upon a time, but not really in the way I have now.

@4804. "You sir, are a freaking legend. Fixed it." --#ankiforums

@4806. I love when, in order to procrastinate on writing a paper, I write something else.

@4811. So every time I mistype 'the' 'teh' in a LaTeX document, instead of autocorrecting or even just leaving 'teh' there, vim pastes in a couple of lines from some abbreviations file. It only happens in the LaTeX file type, and those entries aren't next to each other in my current abbreviations file. I'm not really sure where it's coming from, but it's quite annoying.

@4813. Time to proof the essay...I haven't gone back over it at all yet, but I don't think this is the kind of paper that tends to need that much revision. Which is good because I've only given myself an hour.

@4815. "FINO [First In, Never Out] works by withholding all scheduled tasks permanently. No matter how many tasks are scheduled at any time, no task ever actually takes place. This makes FINO extremely simple to implement, but useless in practice." --Wikipedia

@4816. "Hah! I win, terminal." --Phin

@4818. Just noticed that I'm storing my private key -- labeled as such -- on the same drive as my backups encrypted with said key. It is protected by a strong passphrase, but still.

@4819. Just meant to type 'canto' and typed another word beginning with 'c' and ending with 't' instead...
(history -d!)

@4820. "Invalid error message." --error message I almost coded instead of 'invalid input'

@4821. I'm having that thing where you're unable to tell how loud your chewing is because I'm trying to eat potato chips in the library without being a nuisance.

@4823. "You are comparing apples and oranges. Back then, the world is a much safer place. Now, not much anymore." / "Sure it was a much safer place except for the WORLD WAR!" --CNet comments thread
A minor problem, really.

@4827. I'm getting tired earlier and earlier lately, and it doesn't seem to be that related to when I got up. I wonder if it's partly the light outside -- when it gets dark at like 4:00, it's hard to stay awake longer?

@4828. So I forgot to bring my HD book to the exam this afternoon, and I came running back to Mellby (literally) to grab it -- but I couldn't find it anywhere, so I grabbed Bryan and borrowed his copy. When I got back this evening, I found that it was on my keyboard tray in plain sight, being used to raise the keypad to a higher level.

@4833. Since classes ended, I'm barely getting any email -- it feels super-weird.

@4834. In case you were wondering, lighter fluid is flammable.

@4835. "This is what I do on my vacations. Write completely useless code." --me, after writing a C version of our assembly project just to see how it would work in C

December 20, 2014
@4836. "Your bagel is ready in the dining car." --misheard announcement on the Empire Builder

@4838. Idea: Select some 200 (perhaps) important dates in history and memorize them, a sort of basic framework.

@4839. I just ran "sudo umount something /". I immediately pressed ^C and nothing untoward happened...I'm curious what would have happened if I unmounted / as well.

December 23, 2014
@4843. "May you win an unpurchased (Hmm. Do you have this world in english?) lottery, man." --#ankiforums (fifya)

@4844. "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."

@4847. IMPORTANT: Before replacing the bag, make sure the vacuum cleaner is turned OFF and unplugged.
--on a package of vacuum cleaner bags
{BL dr #931}

@4850. As I get older, I'm finding myself reminded more and more often of something Mr. Kopf told us in the summer orchestra introduction where I first touched a violin. He said that he's found there are four stages that most orchies go through. The stages consist of the thing that is keeping them in orchestra, the thing that succeeds in fighting the effort and busyness and everything that wants them out. Not everyone proceeds through them at the same rate, and maybe there are some exceptions, but all in all they are remarkably accurate. As follows (I elaborate a little bit and so may be more like 95% true to his original):

1. It's fun -- for a couple of weeks, playing an instrument is kind of cool.
2. Your parents keep you there -- you get some pressure to keep trying it until you've at least had a good shot at it and have tried it long enough to be decent.
3. Your friends keep you there -- there is some social opportunity in music, and it becomes part of your identity.
4. You love it.

He was not able to explain exactly what number four was, and now fully understanding what he means, it is I guess something that really defies explanation in ordinary terms, if you aren't yourself there. He just said that we were not there yet, and he *asserted* that, saying that students somewhere around our age often claimed to him that they were at stage four, but that they were just outright wrong. I felt I was there after a couple of years, and I was in the sense that 2 and 3 were not really major influences on me anymore, although they were there; but it was almost more of a thing that I did because I'd always done it. Not that I didn't like playing music, quite the contrary, but there wasn't a need from within me that kept me going.

I almost feel like I've reached stage four and a half now, or at certain points of my musical life now at least, when I experience a sort of overwhelming sense of divinity and beauty that contains so much of the meaning in the world. And I completely understand how offensive it would feel to have a fifth-grader come up to you and claim that his soul had been a part of that.

@4851. "Parsing error: True"

December 28, 2014
@4852. "It's *smart*! HTML is *smart*!" --me

@4854. After giving my mom the Random Thoughts book for Christmas, I'm having the odd experience of having quotes and anecdotes that I never actually shared quoted back at me. She really liked it and everything, and I'm glad I did it, but it's very disconcerting.

@4855. I get paid 23 cents a minute for Anki work. (I was calculating it because I grabbed a new invoice template that measures in hours, and I was wondering if I could easily change it to minutes and what would be the easiest way to do that.)

@4856. "This is kind of a place where accuracy is important." --me, debugging a LaTeX invoice template that was rounding incorrectly

@4857. "This is pooping music. Seriously, I always have to poop while I'm listening to this record." --me

@4858. I was looking at a screenshot on my iPhone, and I almost took a screenshot of it in order to save it.

@4859. "It's freezing!" --Mama, standing in front of the open freezer door

@4860. "How about I sketch it in a sketch book? That'll be an original idea." --me

@4862. Why the hell does sc not have an undo function? There's an undo in the line edit part, but not the actual spreadsheet part. Having a modern application without an undo function is just ridiculous.

@4864. "All right, well this is a MIDI file, this isn't going to be a great audio test..." --me

@4868. "As for the idea of using only one deck, it is a bit rectilinear understanding." --#ankiforums, itraveller (I think this is autocorrect, but I have no clue what it was supposed to say)

@4869. One day around Christmas Festival time this year, I ate breakfast next to two guys. I was supposedly reading the news on my phone, but I was really eating my biscuits and gravy and listening to the one guy tell a story about how he had escaped trouble when he was smoking weed in his room and Public Safety came to the door. It was told well and really pretty funny, much more worthy of attention than the news. It involved him throwing his device (it was some sort of electric thing) out the window a really long way so that he was able to claim that it was his neighbor's, say he took so long to answer the door because he was pissed at them bothering him (he missed, as he noted in the story, the opportunity to claim that he had been having sex, because he had a friend in the room who was a girl), hide the rest of the drugs effectively, and then just give all sorts of stupid #excuses that could not possibly have been convincing but were apparently enough that they couldn't officially prove he had done anything wrong well enough to write him up or charge him for it.

@4870. I'm sure enjoying my new headphones with their long "action radius."
It *is* really nice, but I can't help but make fun of that "features" section of the manual describing the phones in really technical terms, this being by far the best.
{BL CB26.22}

@4872. "Hi, I am having an issue with Anki." --opening to an #ankiforums post

@4873. "No. Not that there's any problem with it, but...No." --me

@4874. I find it amusing that my headphones come with a manual titled "Operating Instructions." I offer these operating instructions:

To use your new Sony headphones:
1. Connect the plug to an audio jack.
2. Put the headphones on your head.
3. Listen.

@4875. On a side topic, the niece who hosted us (she's early 40s) works for the CDC. After commiserating about mass-media inspired Ebola hysteria in the U.S., she asked us if we had heard the latest Ebola joke that was going around the CDC offices.

"No," we replied,"what is it?"

"You won't get it."

@4877. On the Empire Builder on the way home, I heard a woman talking to her son of maybe 9 or 10 years. She was saying she didn't envy the job of a train conductor or similar staff member, and talked about how you ride some distance, stay over there, then you're up and back on the train again...and so on. The son said something about how it wasn't that bad, and the mother said, "But you're always working."

"So?" he says. "It's just like your office."

Not another word from her.

@4878. #overheard on the Empire Builder, from someone playing a city simulation game on his iPad: "Mass transit? What's that?"
Especially ironic while you're currently *using* mass transit.

@4880.
Sign: "No clearance for man at side of car"
Me: "But there is for a woman?"
Not actually that far-fetched, at least for average values... :-)

@4883. I am going to add a "scratch area" here for todo lists and such so that I don't clutter up the document. Changing macros...

@4884. "Your search 'crest toothpaste cavity protection' did not match any products in: Musical Instruments"

@4885. If you thought spaces in filenames were annoying in a shell -- never, EVER, put backslashes in filenames.

@4886. (For whatever reason, beyond being confusing, they completely block tab-completion, even when you correctly escape them.)

@4887. For some reason today, I've decided that when I want to use the 'ls' command, I should type 'less' instead.

@4888. So I was remembering that I learned today that dwm is configured by changing options in the source code and recompiling, and among other virtues of this approach, the authors said, is that it is more secure because it doesn't have to read any input files. Which led me to thinking that you could create a security flaw by overwriting the binary, but then of course if you can do that you don't need a security hole in the first place. Which led me to this joke: Bash is all one huge security hole -- it allows execution of arbitrary code under the user's privileges!

@4889. "Note that the calculator cannot *exactly* represent pi."

@4890. I think I've fallen in love with RPN... I just bought an HP 35s calculator that I totally would not need just to get my dc-like input.

@4891. There is a Windows emulator for said calculator that I've been playing around with. When you download it from the webpage, it's packaged as an msi installer inside a self-extracting exe (which displays an install wizard) inside a zip file.

@4892. So apparently I've been exaggerating the story where Nichi answered a completely wrong interval for ear training in music theory, saying it was like an octave and a second or something. It was *actually* a major second and a perfect fourth.

Actually, I'm not entirely sure that's better.

@4893. "That's actually a fairly respectivable percentage." --me

@4895. Some cursive words have a beautiful flow to them. Like "community" or "Immanuel."

@4896. There's about a paragraph in the appendix of my acoustics textbook on "solving equations." Because if you've never solved an equation before, that's all you really need to have it down.

@4898. "I don't think we have unlimited resources in the world." --Prof. Anquandah

@4902. My new favorite on the Christmas Festival recording, stuck in my head since I listened to it:
Cold December flies away
At the rose-red splendor.
April's crowning glory breaks
While the whole world wonders
At the holy unseen pow'r
Of the tree which bears the flow'r.
On the blessed tree
Blooms the reddest flow'r
On the tree blooms the rose,
Here in love's own garden,
Full and strong in glory.

Love the bud has come to bloom,
And the world awakens.
In the lily's purest flower
Dwells a wondrous fragrance.
And it spreads to all the earth
From the moment of its birth;
And its beauty lives,
In the flow'r it lives
In the flow'r
And it spreads in its heavenly brightness
Sweet perfume delightful.

In the hopeless time of sin
Shadows deep had fallen.
All the world lay under death,
Eyes were closed in sleeping.
But when all seemed lost in night,
Came the sun whose golden light
Gives unending joy,
O the endless joy
Of our hope, highest hope
On this Christmas morning.
Heavenly love -- Christmas love is dawning!

@4903. Trying to learn the above well enough to sing along with Ole Choir on the recording. I am struck by how the music can actually move so fast that you can't think ahead to know what's coming next -- even in a song when you most need to. And this is a *lot* of text for the speed.

@4904. Actually, I ought to stop struggling and sleep and continue tomorrow morning -- my experience with this project so far shows that it's just about impossible without that, and I should probably have stopped just after my six repetitions or so, or maybe after an attempted run beyond that. I've found it to really be amazing what a difference it can make: it's like you just wake up and suddenly you know it when you couldn't get it before. Maybe not completely and perfectly, but much better than when you went to sleep.

@4905. I just tried to scroll to the top of the deck list in Anki by pressing 'gg'...vim mappings across all these programs are getting to me.

@4906. Just remembering that when we were playing Trivial Pursuit a little while ago, I read a German name wrong with 'ie' and 'ei' and Mama corrected me, so I was wondering how I'd screwed up the rule...but then when I went back and looked at it, I had read it correctly -- it was written wrong on the card.

@4908.
Date: Sat, 16 Jun 2007 14:29:08 -0500
From: Soren Bjornstad <soren.bjornstad@gmail.com>
To: Chen Ye <yechen_xixi@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: OMG! SCS not going to be a citybuilding game!!!!!!

WAIT-WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On 6/13/07, Chen Ye <yechen_xixi@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> Can you believe it!!!
> NO pipes to lay, NO powerlines, NO ZZOONNEESS!!!!!!!!!
>
>

--
Sincerely,
The Technical Geekery/Soren Bjornstad

@4909. Me, describing a key change: "Here's the frequency change."
Too much physics!

@4910. Remember these wise words from Mitch Hedberg:

I sit at my hotel at night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.

http://www.sparringmind.com/benefits-of-writing/

@4912. "It doesn't require any particular genius or prescience to grasp this, merely the willingness to recognize that if something is unsustainable, sooner or later it won't be sustained." --JMG

@4913. I forgot to mention anywhere what happened when I arrived back at St. Olaf with EcoTrans after Christmas break. We turned into the road that comes up from the highway next to Norway Valley, and it hadn't been plowed or anything and we're driving this huge van. On the turn we lose traction completely and slide into the curb, hitting fairly hard. We then go up the hill, sliding and skidding out the whole way. The guy knew how to drive a van in January in Minnesota, and we properly corrected for everything, but it was still a bit crazy.

@4914. I had an interesting thought that I bet the average person loses more time of their life by going through ridiculously strict airport security instead of a simple, obvious check than they have the chance to lose in a terrorist attack at average rates.

@4915. App changelog: "Fixed an erroneous SIS bug with professor listings."
So there was supposed to be a bug, but it was wrong?

@4916. "I did manage to find out that the worldbuilding ban only applied to 'imagining a different world with the intention to deceive' but it wasn't clear whether fiction and roleplaying counted as deception, so I kept the existence of Valdyas to myself." --Found Objects

@4917. #ankiforums:
"Hello- is there any way to set my Anki flashcards as the lock screen on my iphone, so it cycles through them and in order to unlock my phone I have to get the answer correct on the card? thanks!!"

That's probably the most specific -- and bizarre -- feature request I've ever seen...

@4918. I just spent a minute trying to work out why my script wasn't working...I was interpreting a Bash script with Python.

@4919. You bought a dog corpse for 7 gold pieces.
It's a good buy, I swear.

@4920. "Publisher: Public Domain Books. This book is locked by DRM."

@4921. We're Here Because We're Here
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DngSe0HwstM)

@4922. Memorizing this goofy poem from _Alice in Wonderland_. It gets funnier the longer I spend with it.

@4923. It is, however, really hard to memorize, because the lines are mostly pronouns and filler words and there's barely anything to hook onto.

@4924. """When two or more sentences follow a colon, capitalize the first word following the colon.

He made three points: First, the company was losing over a million dollars each month. Second, the stock price was lower than it had ever been. Third, no banks were willing to loan the company any more money."""

Personally, I consider this usage kind of awkward, but the capitalization rule is good to know.

@4925. Note: The AlphaSmart 3000 factory master password is 'think'.

@4927. I've now forgotten about four things that I was supposed to or wanted to do in the last two days. I guess it's because I have so little to do during interim, I'm not used to thinking about the things that I *do* have to do.

@4928. "Although hi-fi speakers can be turned up to ear-damaging levels, they have the advantage of not being strapped directly to your ear canal."

@4930. "Response to Request No. 9: Plaintiff objects to producing the requested documents, because doing so is annoying." --Lowering the Bar

@4931. Turns out that you won't be able to find a line in the "first lines" index of the ELW if the line you're looking up isn't the first line.

@4932. Dear Google Spreadsheets: If I select a cell formatted as a DATE and drag it down, do you really think that I want to *duplicate* that date over 31 cells?

@4936. "'Keep Your Eyes On Your Hands.' Also known as 'This Land is Your Land.'" --me, making fun of VLC getting the identity of this CD (and its tracks) completely wrong

@4937.
"That's in addition to the cost of the potion, of course."
You light Adjama's potion.  It gives off a dim light.  "That will cost you 33 zorkmids (Yendorian Fuel Tax)."

Scammer. :P

@4938. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_lists_of_lists
{BL #4653}

@4939. "It is interesting to speculate what type of protective mechanism, analogous to eyelids, might have developed in the auditory system had the loud sounds of the modern world existed for millions of years (earlids, perhaps?)."

@4940. I made a pun involving "sign" and "sine" in acoustics lab today (someone said that some thing that happened was a "sign of ____"), and people somehow actually thought it was funny. It was so totally obvious to me that it would have been a complete groaner, but apparently not. And it was also the type where you just basically point out that there's a pun, rather than actually having a way to work it in naturally, which doesn't help.

@4942. Finally, back from the days of Ferg..."Drink. Drink WATER. Sleep. Sleep ALONE." Take care of yourselves and your voices!
{BL CB31.6, #5881}

@4943. "Nothing happens.  KABOOM!!  You see a door explode."
Sounds like something happened to me.

@4944. "I've never gotten a tray before. Ever. In my entire life." --#overheard in the caf

@4945. "Omniscient Katie says: No fire tonight!" --Katie, after Elizabeth woke up during a fire alarm, saw her sleeping, and somehow concluded from that that it was a false alarm
{BL CB27.48}

@4946. #overheard in the caf:
Person 1: "Do you want to face the sun? Because I don't want to face the sun."
Person 2: "Oh, I *always* face the sun."

@4947. On the arrangement of "In Thee is Gladness" we did for choir, they spelled the hymn tune "IN DIR IST FRUEDE."

@4948. Clayton, about a place we were supposed to cut off whenever it happened: "Copy and paste this into your brain."
I really like this idea.

@4949. You see here a gravestone. You read: "Obesa cantavit"
That took me a moment, but it's great!

@4950.
<mgv> flik_: no
<mgv> actually yes

@4951. "...'cuz the letter Q sucks!" --me

@4952. Total Mr. Kopf cliche (from TB2.57c): "Did we tune?" He could never remember if we had and asked this probably every other day.

@4953. The Borg bites the bluebird of happiness.

@4954.
<Chris_ANG> Turns out, ascending is a nullpointer.
<bcode> You ascend beyond the boundaries of the array...
<bcode> A dereferencing choir sings, and you are bathed in segfaults...

@4955.
< Winhert> he summoned tons of dragons, foolords etc
< ChrisE> The fool ord hits!
< billnye> THOU THOUGHT THOU COULDST ORD ME, FOOL?

@4956. TenderApp fairly frequently returns invalid data through the API, enough to make my scripts crash. It's quite annoying. Most of the time it's immediately resolved by just running it again, which is very strange.

@4957. "I had a consultant that would frequently forget his password. I finally set it to 'I forgot' and gave it to him. Three weeks later, sure enough, he drops by because he can't get in. I ask him 'What's your password?' and he says 'I forgot'. So I just looked at him. Finally he got it. No issues since then." --Slashdot comment

@4958. "The term 'sustainable' is code for 'have your cake and eat it, too.'" --blog comment
It was a very pessimistic comment, so we shouldn't perhaps put too much stock in it, but as a dictionary of usage rather than an absolute statement of truth, there's quite a lot of truth to that.

January 22, 2015
@4960. Very interesting and thought-provoking: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html

@4961. I've clearly been working too much on my stack-based calculator app: I just tried to use the "clear stack" keystroke in Google Chrome.

@4962. "The construction of a single C++ binary at Google can open and read hundreds of individual header files tens of thousands of times. In 2007, build engineers at Google instrumented the compilation of a major Google binary. The file contained about two thousand files that, if simply concatenated together, totaled 4.2 megabytes. By the time the #includes had been expanded, over 8 gigabytes were being delivered to the input of the compiler, a blow-up of 2000 bytes for every C++ source byte."

@4964. An index entry for CB27.22 just gave me a great phrase: the Minotaur of Reality. I'm going to have to start using that.

@4965. An interesting thought from my walk tonight: History is the story of people ignoring history.

@4967. We did two IT-related things at our 2.5-hour shift at IT this evening: we helped a young woman figure out why she couldn't like things on YouTube (it was a multiple sign-in problem because her St. Olaf account was signed in first, and our domain setup had it off), and I took three hang-up calls from the Ellingson front desk.

It was an eventful shift.

@4968. Student: "So they had a mean gender of 1.6 and a mean ethnicity of 1.3."

January 27, 2015
@4969. I somehow managed to type "afbf .." instead of "cd..". I have no idea how that got changed.

@4970. "The driver has been charged with two counts each of kidnapping and criminal restraint, as well as driving with a suspended license, and is being held in New Jersey on $1 million bail. So far as I can tell, though, he did not get a ticket for improper use of the HOV lane. Still, not a strategy I would recommend, given the other potential issues." --Lowering the Bar

@4971. "Good, now you don't *fail* anymore after you were charged!" --in a directory of voice-recorded notes from middle school

@4972. Another document from the HFS (Hurricane File System):
"""
How to allow SimCity Scenario Creator to open
1. Temporarily uninstall Access 2000 by going to Add/Remove Programs, clicking Change on its icon, and choosing Add/Remove Components.
2. Click on the button next to Access and choose Do Not Allow Component.
3. Choose Next.
4. Go to Folder Options and associate .mde with Microsoft Access database.
5. Open Scenario Creator.
6. When you are done, reinstall Access.
"""

Hey, I guess if it works...

@4973. "If the keyboard works, try pressing Alt-Shift-S to activate the Soren soft shutdown shortcut on the desktop."
That alliteration is pretty hard to beat...

@4974. "You Currently Have a Pig License.doc"

@4975. And one of my other favorite folder names: "AAA Do not open-delete today"
It's been around for so long that I've never really thought of deleting it. Plus it's such a cool name.

@4976. Young Soren's Cookbook.
Transcribed from a Microsoft Works Database (I had to manually pick the text out of the file using a hex editor as I didn't have the appropriate program).

From the Kitchen Of: soren
Name: gty
Category: desert

Ingredients:
* 1/8 pepper
* 5 bananas
* 1 cup water
* 2 teaspoons
* etc.

Instructions:
1. boil pepper

-----

From the Kitchen Of: soren
Name: jtwoptrseaqpljo
Category: side dish

Ingredients:
* 99 apples
* 4 tablespoons cinnamon
* 21 bananaleds [these are composed of a banana with a pencil lead sticking out of it]
* 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
* 21 coins
* 10 cups blueberries
* 21 yams
* 3 cups oats
* 70 tipewriters
* 2,000 drops of water
* 21 queens
* 21 princes

Instructions:
1. boilbananaleds
2. soak coins in cinnamon and vanilla extract for 5 days.
3. micorwavequeens for 1year. Cook and mush up blueberries and yams, separately.
4. boiltipewritetrs
5. Mix all of the above; salt and pepper to taste.
6. Add remaining ingredients and cook in an oven at 550 degrees for 2 minutes.

[Fun fact: given the volume of an average woman (59.42 L, according to W|A) and the power output and size of an average microwave (1000W, 1.6 cubic feet), it would consume over 240,000 kWh of power and, at 8 cents per kWh, cost $19,300 just to microwave the queens, if we're assuming all of the parts go in, which I am because the recipe doesn't say otherwise. Also, that's assuming that we can completely fill the microwave with the queen parts. Of course, all this pales in comparison to the difficulty and expense of finding and killing 21 queens to use.]

-----

From the Kitchen Of: soren
Name: ROPSDF
Category: SIDE DISH

Ingredients:
* 40 BANANA LEDS
* 50 PAPAS
* 50 MAMAS
* 20 COMPUTERS
* 8 KINGS
* 10 OTTERS
* 8 GOPS [whatever those are]

Instructions:
1. BOIL BANANALEDS
2. MICROWAVE OPAPAS AND MAMAS
3. PUT REMAIN ING ITEMS IN OVEN
4. MIX 20 MINUTES.

-----

From the Kitchen Of: SOREN
Name: matedfar
Category: main dish

Ingredients:
* 40 empty tin cans
* 90 cups baking powder
* 50 cupcakes
* 4 cups salt and pepper
* 1 papa
* 1 queen
* 2 ovens
* 1 house
* 2 bananaleds
* 1-9 eggs (optional)

Instructions:
1. Put 40 tin cans in large bowl. Add salt and pepper and cupcakes.
2. Put baking powder in large bowl. Put the papa, queen, and ovens on cookie sheet.
3. Put house and bananaleds in microwave for 1 year.
4. Mix together. Add 1-9 eggs if desired.
5. Boil on car motor for 50 minutes. Cook at 600 for 2 days. Eat warmed or cold.

@4977. This has to be one of my all-time favorite lines: "Add salt and pepper and cupcakes." I haven't laughed so hard in months as I did on reading these recipes...

@4978. "However, when I look at my Anki deck in the lessons I am on the cards that were not showing up were said to be due the next day but were not showing up." --#ankiforums (Reminds me of #1768!)

@4979. "the poisoned fireproof Unholy Magic Markers of Pestilence"

@4980. A funny idea I had once was that after the revolution, the new government gets a 100 page blank notebook to write the laws in. Once they fill up the last page, all of them are executed.
--Slashdot comment

I actually think this is a *really* good idea. At least a certain limit on the number of laws that you can have.

@4981.
It's like this in any engineering discipline:
* The apprentice doesn't do things by the book, for he thinks himself clever
* The journeyman does everything by the book, for he has learned the world of pain the book prevents
* The master goes beyond the book, for he understand why every rule is there and no longer needs the rules
Or put another way - the apprentice thinks he knows everything, the journeyman known how little he knows, the master knows everything in the field, and still knows how little he knows.
--Yet another Slashdot comment

@4982. You have to love when your laptop is so weird that someone thinks that your system clock is causing a technical problem.

@4985. "A lot of people thought we recorded that song...and we did. And a lot of people thought we recorded this next song...and we didn't." --The Seekers, /Night of Nights/

@4986.
<Fishumz> Can you check your pet's hp or status ?
<Broken_> with a esthetesocope

@4988. "You cannot put on gold." --NetHack

@4989. "I recognize that there is an algorithm going on." --#ankiforums

@4990. 4:45 PM. I think maybe it's time to get dressed.

@4993. "That's a really terrible picture of the kitchen." --me, after drawing a single square in my sketchbook

February 04, 2015
@4994. "This article about an Italian physicist is a stub." --Wikipedia

@4995. "Brian is now listening to: C sharp" --http://xkcd.com/1482/

@4996. "You see, when people say, 'I forgot,' they didn't, usually -- what really happened was that they didn't remember in the first place." --The Memory Book

@4997. "Embarrassing: The US Is Ranked 182nd In The World Alphabetically" --Clickhole

@4999. "As with most things in tech, you can get pretty silly with your tmux config."

@5000. Have had "I Am Australian" stuck in my head for about the last day and it's starting to get infuriating.

@5002. "...reply to my tweeting this article via Twitter."
As opposed to tweeting it via carrier pigeon?

@5003. Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back

@5004. Good memory palace article: https://web.archive.org/web/20120917154554/http://theworldofjoeriggs.com:80/blog/?p=809

@5005. This is probably the worst error message I've gotten in a long time, from Google Voice's web interface: "We had an error." (cf. #339)

@5006. I swear I wrote about it somewhere, but I cannot find it anywhere: I was just remembering a time when I wrote as an answer on a physics quiz, "angle of something rude." It got a nice red question mark. The correct answer was "critical angle," and I got there because I had crammed the list of vocab words into a journey (we didn't get a word bank, which I thought kind of a stupid way to do it, so I always memorized the list beforehand) and could remember that the angle was saying something unpleasant, but didn't make the leap from there to its being "critical" of the object (whatever it was).

@5007. "Please dont respond trying to judge the comments I have made because those comments will be deemed 100% insignificant." --some idiot on Facebook responding to something I said

@5010. "Two-part group project. The assignment consists of five parts." --syllabus

@5011. "None of them are so fucking badass, and they're all way more practical." --#overheard on campus

@5013. In Chapel Choir today, we were listening to parts of the Mozart Requiem and then fright-screaming them. But the recording was using classical tuning -- okay, fine, but then of course we were singing with our A=440 equal-temperament piano, and it was quite jarring. It would take me about 30 seconds to get used to the change, then we would listen or sing for somewhere between 2-7 minutes, and then it would happen again. Arrgh.

@5014.
Freude, schöner Götterfunken,
Tochter aus Elysium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken,
Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!
Deine Zauber binden wieder,
Was die Mode streng geteilt;
Alle Menschen werden Brüder,
Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.
--Schiller, alt. Beethoven

@5015. Prof. Whitlatch said she had a friend in college who used the Vergil-divination method to determine that she should break up with her boyfriend. Evidently it worked, she argued, because if you have to look at the Aeneid to figure out that you should break up with someone, you probably should.

@5016. "That would make much sense." --me

@5017. "If I was intelligent enough to read the commentary while I was translating it, I might have figured that out." --me

@5018. I have 27 new emails this afternoon...and I last checked my email this morning.

@5019. Then again, only 10 of them were actually useful.

@5021. I like how I just landed in third place on TypeRacer by typing 131 wpm.

@5023. "OK, thanks Soren. I will feverishly rename it with 'Title' field in Share option next week, hoping that anything will bug." --#ankiforums

@5024. "...but for old cards it would make the font too slow." --#ankiforums

@5025. "help me. i do not import." --#ankiforums subject

@5026. "We don't need for people to learn to 'code.' We also don't need for people to learn how to use particular proprietary products. We need for people to learn things like basic math, basic logic, and understand how they can use computers, with a teensy bit of effort and understanding, to accomplish their unique and specific tasks. We also need to teach people that they should not feel helpless when confronted with a computer program that doesn't do precisely what they want." --Slashdot comment

@5027. Error messages should state *whether* the operation was performed, *why* something went wrong, and *what* to do instead.

@5028. The last 7 people alphabetically had no feedback for the assignment I'm grading, completely randomly. It totally looks like I started slacking off and just gave them all 5/5 at that point!

@5029. Ugh, I didn't get any Anki OR homework done today. I did practice though. And I did some useful things.

@5030. This has to be one of my favorite Computer Stupidities stories:
I was taking a COBOL course at my undergraduate institution. One day I was working in the lab and needed to look up something in the manual. The students had access to one in the student support room, usually staffed by students just off the lab. The procedure was just to go in and ask for the manual.

Me: "Can I have the COBOL manual, please?"
Attendant: "There is no COBOL manual."

I turned, and I saw what looked to be the correct binder there on the shelf.

Me: "It's not here, or I can't have it?"
Attendant: "There is no COBOL manual."

I grabbed the binder with "COBOL" and "manual" on it.

Me: "This looks like the COBOL manual to me."
Attendant: "It is not a COBOL manual. There are no manuals in this room. You do not want this."

I opened the book and looked inside.

Me: "Looks like a manual to me. Yes, this is the information I want."
Attendant: "THERE IS NO COBOL MANUAL OR ANY OTHER MANUAL IN THIS ROOM."
Me: "Look. You're new here, you have had lousy training, and you likely don't know much about computers. See these things on the wall? They are *all* manuals of various sorts."
Attendant: "No, they are not."
Me: "Can I take this book for a moment, please?"
Attendant: "Get out of my office, and stop bothering me."

I later commented to someone that they were hiring incompetent student help. The response I got indicated that the person I had spoken to wasn't actually a student but a university staff member in charge of various computing services and student help desk staffing, and he even taught a course. Needless to say, I never took the course.

@5031. My AA book has an answer in the back for question 4e...but there *is* no part e on question 4.

@5032. I'm remembering a time when we at Sunnyside had bought a new bike (either for me or Mama, I can't remember which) and we had an old one to get rid of somehow. We weren't sure exactly what we were going to do with it. While we were deciding, someone came and stole it from outside the garage. Well, that solved it!

February 16, 2015
@5033. "Quiet hours are still a thing." --our AC

@5034. "'If there's no sperm, the egg's not going to get fertilized,' says Joseph Tash, a reproductive biologist at the University of Kansas Medical Center."
Sure glad we're paying him to tell us that.

@5037. On a comment card outside the caf: "The iced tea maker shocked me and I had an outer body experience."
(Cf. #1963.)
{BL #11809}

@5039. "I had a question about chrome plating." --#overheard on campus

@5040.
Prof. Whitlatch: "This is a dative of the compound verb."
Ben: (stage whisper) "Making up grammar!"

@5043. Words: The most important part of a web design. (Maybe this is an argument for the Terminal-Based Way of Life, too.)
http://justinjackson.ca/words.html

@5044. Error 000: You are not awake.

@5045. 10:00 at night having not done any of your homework for the following day yet: the best time to realize that you don't even have the book that you're supposed to read for Great Con.
To be fair, I suppose it means you don't have to do that part right now...or really at all, probably, because the rest of my time is going to be spent on Latin I know.

Update: I skimmed it in 15 minutes and actually did totally fine in the discussion! There was a lot of verbosity evidently...

February 18, 2015
@5046. "There is only a step from the sublime to the ridiculous, and Vergil has here decidedly taken it." --qtd. in my commentary on Eclogue 4

@5047. So I was playing with escape sequences in tmux while working on my Latin homework, and I accidentally detached from the session and then started a new one with 'tmux' rather than 'tmux attach', and the fortune that came up in the new session was "You die...Do you want your possessions identified?" For a fleeting moment I legitimately had that sinking feeling you get when you die in NetHack or something similar...like my Latin translation would be lost in that way or something!

@5048. "Wait, you're reading the epilogue first?" --Mama, mishearing "Eclogues"

@5049. "This corner's memorization is like walking on eggshells, where I'm the eggshells and some people insist on wearing cleats." --me, during Christmas Festival

@5050. "Oh, that changes things." --me, noticing that there were two more stanzas of a poem on the next page, when I thought it was done

@5051. I think I need to write my own very simple bookmarks application. Or maybe it could even just be a flat text file. I want something browser-independent that just works.

@5054. intexo, intexere: to run through TeX

@5055. "That makes actually sense." --me

@5056.
Email 1: "Please come to RML525"
Email 2: (15 minutes later) "Please do not go to RML525"

@5058. The Argument Clinic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLlv_aZjHXc

@5059. I'm legitimately curious: will I get fined for turning in a marked-on score with the "clean copy policy" if I corrected an error in the score?

@5060. The other day during Great Con, Anna-Christina put an open book on her head, and I got this great image of it as the little "hat" that's in the mathematical e.g. "p-hat."

@5062. "Don't worry if you sound pretty or not. You actually do." --Dr. Feldt

February 22, 2015
@5063. [Author: forgot my name, should put it in anki <email@domain.com>]

@5064. "See, this is why I don't do things." --#overheard in the caf

@5065. "What the hell, why are there so many people here‽ ...Oh, *Chapel*." --#overheard on the stairs to the caf after Sunday worship

@5066. So AOK told us that she had a friend in college who gave her roommate a Glenn Gould CD. Shortly afterwards, her roommate was alone in their apartment at 10:00 at night and decided to listen to the CD. She put it on and was listening for a while and then heard his characteristic vocalization...but she didn't know it was something he did, so she thought there was a stranger in the apartment. She went and got a baseball bat and was looking all around the house!

@5067. "Let's copy all my money to that account." --me

@5068. #ironyoftheday: This morning I forgot that I was supposed to do a prospective memory exercise.

@5070. I'm trying an experiment with print-on-demand with my Speedwords dictionary. I almost submitted a version with 'showtrim' on...I can imagine that would have been great if I got a printed book in the mail and found it had trim markings on it.

@5071. Modern life...
"Oh geez, what's her last name?"
(Mod-Tab to workspace 9, where Facebook is open in the browser already. Click in search box. Type six letters.)
"Oh, Scott."
(Mod-Tab back. Time elapsed: 2 seconds.)

@5072. "In a way I'd rather be killed by a cow." --#overheard across the classroom

@5073. All of today's Latin reading (beginning of the Georgics) is one sentence, except for the first 5 lines.

February 25, 2015
@5074. "It's not like in the old days, where students got killed if they were late to class." --me, thinking randomly

@5077. "Every time someone tries to explain or point out teal to me, I put their name on my list of people who make shit up."

@5078. I had the thought that perhaps part of the reason we use so many more words in writing than we do in speaking is because we don't have inflection in writing. If we *needed* more words to express our ideas as effectively in speech, I figure, then people would tend to have larger active and fluent vocabularies, it would just happen. See also #4849 about italics in writing and inflection.

@5079. "I will eat my shorts if I don't release Stenosaurus in 2015." --Josh
(Update: He didn't do either, as far as I'm aware!)

@5080. if(h>40) {p<-400+(h-40)*15} else{p<-h*10}
Well, it *works*...I must admit I'm not quite sure how, though, and I do not intend to try to figure it out.

@5082. "I don't have magical computer parser eyes." --me, annoyed at people submitting code interleaved with output for grading

@5083. "And, with the exception of nethack, there aren't many ways to waste a lot of time at the console."

@5085. "This would make sense, except it doesn't." --explanation in a homework submission

@5086. "Error: unexpected '>' in '>'" --R
{BL #2886}

@5087. So I just got an email that I suspected was phishing, from "Carlson Hotels." And I went, "It's not Carlson, it's Carl*ton*...right?" And I went and googled it, and of course it was actually Carlson. Only at that point did I realize I thought it sounded wrong because of that college that's rather close to here...

March 01, 2015
@5089. In Phil last Thursday, Marty called the feeling he got "chillbumps," a conflation of "goosebumps" and "chills." I started laughing in Chapel then this morning when I got chills myself for the first time since then, and at lunch I had to tell Kari the story because she wanted to know why I'd been laughing during Manitou's very serious and beautiful Kyrie.
{BL CB29.40}

UPDATE: I just realized that this is a definite malamanteau (https://xkcd.com/739/).

@5091. "Abstruse Algebra"

@5095. On the way back from Chapel Choir today, I found myself wondering if part of the reason I'm a good writer is because I can type well. It came to mind because I was remembering how irritating it was when I was trying to write in steno the other day, because I'd have my writing flow of thought interrupted by the fact that I couldn't figure out how to key it. Now of course steno is way more demanding of brainpower than typing is, even if you're a poor typist, so I doubt it would be a huge influence, but it could certainly be there. When you look at the people who toggle capslock to get a capital letter (and yes, I see college students at the IT Helpdesk doing this and am usually caught between having a tough time not laughing and feeling really sorry for them because their typing skills are clearly so bad), you wonder how they manage to input thoughts without getting sidetracked by trying to press the stupid letters.

@5096. And about UIs: A tool should be complex in proportion to the complexity of the task.

@5097. "It makes no sense. Well, it makes perfect sense. But let's start with /fero/." --Prof. Whitlatch

@5101. "Then I did the next part, which I no longer remember what it was, but I said it already." --me, dream recording

@5104. Today I #overheard someone in the caf use the phrase "six in the afternoon." Only in college...

March 05, 2015
@5105. Yesterday at the Helpdesk:
Me: "Thank you for calling the IT Helpdesk, this is Soren. How can I help you?"
Him: "Well, Mr. Helpdesk..."
(Now I'm not just sitting and being help*ful* (#3151), I'm sitting and being Help*desk*.)

@5106. For Casino Night in Tomson, they had decorated the place (I went over on Friday night to get the CS125 homework from the Link). One part of this involved decorating the banisters: they wrapped silver cord with fake leaves on it around them. In other words, they made it impossible to run your hand down the banister while going down the stairs. Those are there for a reason, you know...

@5107. "So this is an ablative of liquid in which." --Ben

@5108. Because a number of us missed the fact that there was supposed to be an implied 'est' in the last line of Georgics 2, we wound up with the phrase "already smoking necks have unbound the time horse." We liked the idea of a "time horse," though.

@5109. Extra can be totally insane sometimes: posted that I had free ink cartridges of a type I couldn't use, and within 3 minutes I had a response.

@5111. "You can always just be a leprechaun." --#overheard in the lobby of Mellby

@5112. A good thing not to keep on your desktop, besides "so many files you can't see yourself think": porn. The offender was the person who sits next to me in theology. It wasn't graphic or anything, but among the two rows of folders and shortcuts he had on his desktop were several video files with...let's call them less-than-polite names.

I don't have a problem with people having porn on their computers, and I'm not saying that everyone needs to completely lock down everything they don't want others to see with 64-character passwords and private keys. But there are many ways to go about making things at least marginally difficult to find that require almost zero imagination or technical knowledge, and one of those is *not putting them on your desktop*. And if you put something on your desktop, it's bound to be publicly visible at exactly the wrong time, and I did not need to know that about you.

@5113. "One good typeface is better and more useful than fifty thousand poor ones." --Bringhurst, /The Elements of Typographic Style/

@5114. Somehow I'm a little bit suspicious that an organ recital is taking place in Urness.

@5116. "Consider the "clipboard" on the Mac, PC or XWindows.  It's just like a regular clipboard, except (a) you can't see it, (b) it holds only one object, (c) whatever you put there destroys the previous contents.  Aside from that, IT'S JUST LIKE A REGULAR CLIPBOARD IN EVERY OTHER RESPECT-- EXCEPT THERE AREN'T ANY OTHER RESPECTS!" --Ted Nelson

@5120. I've decided that if you take a long way around instead of a shortcut, it's a "longpaste."

@5121. So I don't think I've ever written this story anywhere: once upon a time we were sightreading some random piece of music in VHS orchestra, as we often did. When I looked at my part, I saw that a lot of things had been written in. When I looked again (I think I was sitting with Marissa, who had a similar reaction to me), I realized that somebody had gone through the entire part -- not just the first couple of lines or pages, but the entire part -- and written in every sharp in the key signature as an accidental.

It was extraordinarily disconcerting -- I kept playing double-sharps because the music was indicating a sharp on top of the position that the note would normally be in.

@5123. "A pod of sex. What would that look like?" --#overheard outside Buntrock

@5124. "I hate chasing notes on Wednesdays." --Dr. Aspaas

@5126. "I think we have to read your handwriting a little better." --Prof. Whitlatch, commenting on the lines someone had just translated for us

@5131. "No, I am a load and am going to make the greatest mistake of my life by not joining St. Olaf's premier honor society." --checkbox on Eta Sigma Phi's invitation form

@5132. I just want to note that this semester it feels like everything I'm studying either in class or personally is fitting together absolutely perfectly (well, except maybe Abstract Algebra -- although I'm seeing that through CS and getting quite a bit out of that comparison). I've no sooner gotten thinking about something when it comes up in Great Con or theology; we study the story of Abraham and Isaac in Great Con and then it shows up in my reading for theology; and on and on and on. It's really nice!

@5133. A new thought about our Georgics/Eclogues commentary citing Milton excessively. Prof. Whitlatch is not a fan of this, thinking it off-topic. I find it kind of thought-provoking myself, sometimes; other times it really is off topic, though. But in any case, the fact that the author was able to think of that line suggests a wonderful familiarity with that work, doesn't it? It reminds me of Joseph's story (CB25.37) of the professor who had memorized the whole Aeneid and quoted a couple of pages when something reminded him of it. That's something the world absolutely needs more of.

I thought of this because, while doing the theology reading, I ran into a marginal note from last time I read Romans 5 (in GC interim) saying "Hmm, I didn't understand that before," to a phrase about sin bringing death, and I suddenly was reminded of something, and thought this was actually fairly obvious, and then recalled the line from the invocation of Paradise Lost, "brought Death into the world, and all our Woe", which was really cool -- undoubtedly we've discussed the Fall more since then, but I'd certainly like to think having internalized that line is a big part of it, and it certainly can't have hurt.

@5135. RAS Syndrome

@5137. "I don't want to get tea bits into my tea." --me

@5142. "but it made the people who'd gone in for the book deal lisp." --typo for "rich" in steno practice

@5143. A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a free drink. The bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a multi-level meta joke." So the guy says "A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a free drink. The bartender says 'I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a meta joke.' So the guy says 'A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a free drink. The bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a good joke." So the guy says "What do you do when you see a spaceman? You park, man." So the bartender gives him a free beer.' So the bartender gives him a free beer." So the bartender gives him a free beer.

@5144. "I can't type."
--Says me, who yesterday scored over 130WPM on a 5-minute typing test.

@5147. I just tried to push the "off" button on my alarm clock after a song ended and I wanted to pause playback on my computer.

March 18, 2015
@5150. LaTeX Showcase:
http://tex.stackexchange.com/questions/1319/showcase-of-beautiful-typography-done-in-tex-friends?rq=1

@5151. "Since when has Qt allowed you to set the contents of a text box by setting the *widget* equal to that text? Since, uh...never." --commit message on CQM

@5152. I really can't read Latin while I'm listening to German. It's hard enough while I'm listening to English...

@5153. "an obliviist"

@5154. Sometimes I like to think about how goofy the idea of tea is, from an objective perspective: "Let's put some leaves in water and then dump the leaves out and drink it!" I was especially thinking about this when I got some tea in the mail today: I paid $50.00 for some people to send me bags of leaves of various sorts.

March 21, 2015
@5156. Clerk: "Ma'am, are you sure you didn't have a baby in the last year?"
(See #517.)

@5157. Another semi-autological sentence (#4753): "This sentence contains a typeo."
"Sentence this, is grammatically incorrect."

@5158. Every time I remember that paper airplanes exist, I have an almost irresistible urge to make one.

@5160. So apparently this year is the 2500th anniversary of the first comedy performed in Athens. When was the last time you got to say "the 2500th anniversary"?

@5161. "poetic dative of place to which"

@5162. "When you're running late, it takes less time to get somewhere, of course." --me

@5163. I somehow ended up reading the Emacs FAQ. I don't have any memory of how I got there.
Aha, I remember now: there was a link to the Emacs homepage on the Conkeror start page...still, that was freaky.

@5168. "Are you losing your mind today?" --#overheard, in a level voice, from across the Cage

@5169. "I am grateful" --#ankiforums subject

@5170. Improbable phrase (#unusualsentences) of the week that I had a reason to say: "Uh-oh, that might have gotten my Kindle case in pie."
(I had a plate on which I'd been eating pie but hadn't washed yet sitting on the floor, and I put the case right next to it in the dark, then realized what I'd done.)

@5172. Apparently after the premiere of Brahms' First Symphony, someone reviewing it said of the theme of the fourth movement, "Hmm, sounds a bit like the Ode to Joy." Brahms replied, "Yeah, any ass can see that."

@5173. Mama always talks about "taking the hypotenuse" when you cut across something diagonally to save yourself some walking. I coined a verb for this today: to "hypotenify" (accent on the antepenult).

@5174.
Student 1: "This is the greatest day of my life."
Student 2: "This is the worst day of mine."
--#overheard in the library

@5175. There was a French fry sitting on a table next to the railing upstairs in the caf when I sat down the other day, and I absently brushed it off...over the edge. A French fry thus fell down all the way to the floor -- fortunately not on anybody's head or into their food. It was actually pretty funny.

@5176. There's a sign on a juice machine in the caf right now that says "Temporarily out of order." Can something be permanently out of order? I mean, it can be permanently broken, but would you really put up a sign that said "permanently out of order"?
{BL #6525}

@5177. During the Rite of Spring concert in Skoglund on Sunday, between movements, someone wearing gym shorts quickly went across the Christmas Festival stage.

@5178. I got the funny idea that, in the style of all the xkcd jokes like "reverse euphemisms" or "blag", you could replace "todo list" with "bucket list" when you're telling people about really mundane things that you want to do.

@5179. "[Start at] 36. 37. Or 93. You know what I mean." --Dr. Hodel

@5182. Dear Conkeror browser: I love you, but the page should never, *ever*, be able to override the browser's keyboard bindings so that, for instance, it becomes impossible to close or toggle away from a page without restarting the entire browser.

@5183. "In it Sisi tells Rizq that he frequently sees dreams which then come true but that he stopped talking about such dreams in 2006. Nevertheless, he then shares four of his dreams."

@5184. "If you cannot fix this, I would like to purchase a refund." --#ankiforums

@5185. A really extensive set of coding and Unix reference sheets:
http://hyperpolyglot.org/

@5186. "Okay, it's time to learn some of these vocabs." --me

@5187. Unusual Word of the Day: "imbrication."

@5189. "It was a memorable mnemonic. As opposed to a mnemonic that's not memorable. Which is a pretty shitty mnemonic." --me

@5190. "They're smarter than me, because science, goddammit! Science runs the world!" --#overheard between CHM and Mellby

@5191. "I loaded down a new version of Anki." --#ankiforums

@5193. I just finished listening to an LP, and I *almost* ejected the CD drive of my computer to retrieve it.

April 05, 2015
@5197. There are some people behind me on the train looking at houses on some sort of electronic device. Realty is a really funny thing because most people, at some point or points during their life, really get into it for a little while. And then once you find and purchase a house, after a little while when you find yourself looking at houses even though you now don't need to be looking at them, it becomes entirely uninteresting again.

UPDATE: That was written at 2:30. Now at 6:00 it's starting to be mildly annoying.

@5198. "We can see for the most part the light pollution from the population centers has been blacked out, which is good since that was the goal of this project." --CS125 project writeup

@5199. I'm sitting in the observation car, and I hear a child from behind me: "I haven't been here before, I'm just following you!" He repeats this as they walk down the car, about six times. The guy next to me says, "Definitely not deja vu."

@5202. "It's not real internet, it's like slowish." --#overheard in the observation car

@5203. At the Red Wing Amtrak station, the legitimate correct way to get to the second track is to walk directly across the tracks on the ground level. There's not even a special crossing that you're supposed to use.

@5205. Someone called in to the Helpdesk asking for help with a "microphone reader." We were not able to figure out what this was.
Update: I think he actually said "microfilm" reader, but the other person at the helpdesk had never heard of microfilm (which is totally fair -- the only reason I have is because I'm interested in information technology). It also didn't help to not know that the library had a microfilm reader that could scan to a computer.

@5207. "The library dynamic is pp." --on a sign at the entrance to the music library

@5208. "Since there aren't that many nouns that can be typed with two letters...the sentences talk a lot about accounts, handguns, confidence, and companies." --notes on a new Plover learning site

@5209. Man Prone To Lying Beds Woman Prone To Lying Prone

@5210. The page that lists Speedwords contractions:
https://web.archive.org/web/20120316001747/http://www.reocities.com:80/Athens/Delphi/2464/page11.html

@5211. "Incidentally, I'd like to suggest that anyone blindly typing "and-pussy-and" into Google do so in the privacy of their own home, and shouldn't expect too much in the way of typographic content as a result!" --comment on an article about the ampersand and the origins of its name

April 08, 2015
@5212. "You should shout more across campus!" --#overheard, shouted across campus

@5214. "I don't think I have ever had to reboot one of my dogs." --rancher, commenting on the introduction of sheep-herding drones

@5215. It was highly evident that someone different than usual had typed up the menu pages in the caf today. Everything was written in title case, for one, whereas normally it's all in lowercase. And then there was this wonderful typo on the composed salads list: "Mediterranean barely salad."

@5216. You are a total asshole if you put a multimedia ad that plays loud music on a page that also has a *video* on it. (Actually, you shouldn't use those ads anywhere, but especially here...)

@5217. "Soren, have you considered graduate school?" --at the end of my 20/20 theology paper

@5218. I think that my typing has moved from working in the realm of spellings to words and their sounds. Essentially, I guess, I can think of the sound of a word in my head and type the correct letters. Of course, it's long past the *letter* level: for years I've been able to think of a word and type the word, rather than thinking that "word" requires me to press the 'w' key, then the 'o' key...I don't think it would be possible to type at 130WPM that way.

What makes me think that I've started typing on the sound level is the greatly increased prevalence of a certain type of error over about the past year. I know that typing errors are a very complicated topic, and nobody is fully aware of what exactly goes on in the typist's mind, at least not in the admittedly relatively limited literature I've read. But, in my judgment, I think there are a couple of categories of errors I make:

* There's the simple finger flub, where I aim for the right keys but press the wrong ones: I don't quite move my finger far enough to depress the key to the trigger point, so the letter is dropped; or I press a key on the other side of the keyboard slightly too early, causing a transposition; or I touch a key that I didn't intend to touch at all. While I don't think I make these errors much less than I ever have (though since I've become an expert typist, I don't make them often), the number of times the error causes a problem has been decreasing steadily as I add more and more of the common errors to my vim abbreviation dictionary. I can also typically detect by feel that the touch differed from what it was supposed to be and backspace the appropriate amount to correct the error without having to look up at the screen, if I have my eyes on copy.
* There's the kind where I type the wrong letter entirely, but I was on some level thinking about touching that letter. I think nowadays this happens mostly because I haven't fully collected my thoughts and know what I wanted to type. Or, similarly, I start typing a word that is supposed to come later in the sentence I'm thinking of. (I don't think that happens much if at all when I type from copy; it's a thinking-typing process error.)
* There's the kind where I start typing a word or common sequence of letters and then my fingers finish the word differently. For instance, at the beginning of the previous sentence, I accidentally typed "king" instead of "kind." This happens, I think, because that word is in my muscle memory and my typing is a separate "thread" from the words I'm deciding to type, so I've already dumped responsibility for typing that word into my finger-movement thread and am (perhaps undeservedly) trusting that it will end up typed out okay.

The error that I almost never made before recently, but that I now make relatively frequently, is a complete spelling error. (By frequently I don't mean anything like the scale of the other errors; perhaps a couple times a day, maybe even less. But the occurrence was essentially zero before, so it's noticeable.) It's not that I spelled the word wrong because I pressed the wrong buttons, or because I don't know how to spell the word. It's that I type something that phonetically makes sense but semantically or linguistically is completely wrong. Sometimes this takes the form of typing the wrong homophone: "their" for "there," or something stranger like "lye" for "lie". Sometimes it ends up being something that is absolutely nothing like the actual spelling of the word, and that I would never possibly say was the spelling of the word if you asked me to spell it for you even if I was tired and drunk, something like "konfidens" for "confidence."

And so that's why I conclude that I'm starting to type phonetically. I don't make a lot of these errors, and the increased fluency is almost certainly worth it, but those kind of errors don't happen if you're working from the spelling. I'm a very good speller, and I know perfectly well how the words are supposed to be spelled; it's that I'm not passing through the spelling information properly on the way to the keyboard.

I do wonder if studying computer stenography, which is a phonetic system of input, has something to do with it (I've been studying for about a year, although the seriousness of that has gone on and off and disappeared entirely for considerable periods at times). I've also noticed that I make these errors much more frequently when I'm working on Latin assignments, which definitely supports the hypothesis since Latin has a very phonetic orthography and also uses letters in somewhat different ways than English does.

@5220. I just did a characterwise search for the letter 'e' at the beginning of a 406-column line hoping to navigate to something at the end...

@5221. "The ability to learn from a mistake may just be the most important of all human skills." --JMG

@5222. "Monotheism's boast is that ultimate reality lives in its house and nowhere else. Monotheism's sorrow is that everything must be accommodated in that one house." --Miles, _God_

@5223. Marty's measure numbers are wrong in one movement of the Mendelssohn. As a result, today he told us at one point, "Start 44 before F."

@5224. Also today, we played the cadenza on the Weber concerto for the first time. There are two measures that have little brackets on them and aren't supposed to be played if you do the listed cadenza, and people weren't sure about this and were trying to figure it out. I pointed out that it was explained in the music at the bottom of the page -- I had read it before when we started playing it -- then looked down there and said, "Oh, but it's in German." And it wasn't particularly easy German either.

@5226. "At any rate, when a subject is highly controversial -- and any question about sex is that -- one cannot hope to tell the truth. One can only show how one came to hold whatever opinion one does hold." --Virginia Woolf, _A Room of One's Own_

@5227. "All this pitting of sex against sex, of quality against quality, all this claiming of superiority and imputing of inferiority, belong to the private-school stage of human existence where there are 'sides,' and it is necessary for one side to beat another side, and of the utmost importance to walk up to a platform and receive from the hands of the Headmaster himself a highly ornamental pot." --Virginia Woolf, _A Room of One's Own_
{BL CB29.70}

@5228. Gay Conversion Therapists Claim Most Patients Fully Straight By The Time They Commit Suicide

@5229. "If a permutation has two factorizations...(_m, _n), then m and n have the same parity. The proof of this astonishing fact is given at the end of this section."
--AA textbook

@5232. Wow, I haven't had to wait this long for a compile in a long time...I'm not used to compiling on a Raspberry Pi.

@5233. Hillary Clinton Quietly Asks Bill If He Still Finds Her Electable

@5234. I can't say I've ever heard of the concept of an endangered fungus before. Live and learn...
Though I would argue that I'm not sure there's such a thing as a "fungus of special concern," that being the lowest endangerment status.

@5235. There's a BeautifulSoup file named 'dammit.py'.

@5237. Val-pa-sarias-o-so-so

@5240. "The result is the modern perception that the 'not proven' verdict is an acquittal used when the judge or jury does not have enough evidence to convict but is not sufficiently convinced of the accused person's innocence to bring in a 'not guilty' verdict. Essentially, the judge or jury is unconvinced that the suspect is innocent, but has insufficient evidence to the contrary. In popular parlance, this verdict is sometimes jokingly referred to as 'not guilty and don't do it again.'"

@5241. "Wait, please don't tell me I'm dating a toddler." --#overheard in Buntrock

April 13, 2015
@5244. "The ethics of subduction." --me, mispronouncing "seduction"
(That's the geological process by which plates sink beneath others and melt.)
{BL #7959}

@5245. Over the last year or two, I've just fallen into the habit of using YYYY-MM-DD dates everywhere. I put it MM-DD-YY on the tax form because it explicitly said that, but anything that doesn't explicitly have a date now gets the Proper Way of Writing a Date. Typography, records, homework, pink cards...I figure everybody should be able to figure it out.

@5247. "Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot accept my word." --John 8:43

@5248. "URLs are often typeset in a monospaced font. Probably anything is better than Courier." --StackOverflow post

@5249. "I don't agree what that sees with." --me, doing my Latin reading

@5250. "So will you make all the music go to 'heaven'?" --Rene Clausen
{BL #7655}

@5251. "92. That will be one before 93." --Rene Clausen

@5252.
"""
Here is the list of things that went wrong with the 3D-bar diagram:

* The whole graphic is dominated by irritating background lines.
* It is not clear what the numbers at the left mean; presumably percentages, but it might also be the absolute number of participants.
* The labels at the bottom are rotated, making them hard to read. (In the real presentation that I saw, the text was rendered at a very low resolution with about 10 by 6 pixels per letter with wrong kerning, making the rotated text almost impossible to read.)
* The third dimension adds complexity to the graphic without adding information.
* The three dimensional setup makes it much harder to gauge the height of the bars correctly. Consider the "bad" bar. It the number this bar stands for more than 20 or less? While the front of the bar is below the 20 line, the back of the bar (which counts) is above.
* It is impossible to tell which numbers are represented by the bars. Thus, the bars needlessly hide the information these bars are all about.
* What do the bar heights add up to? Is it 100% or 60%?
* Does the bar for "very bad" represent 0 or 1?
* Why are the bars blue?
"""
--https://stuff.mit.edu/afs/athena/contrib/tex-contrib/beamer/pgf-1.01/doc/generic/pgf/version-for-tex4ht/en/pgfmanualse4.html

@5254. There are two birds doing a call and response outside my window. A moment ago both of them screwed up and did it at once (clashing because they were on slightly different pitches) and both stopped for a moment in confusion.

@5256. "Unirregardless"

@5257. "It sounds bitchier, but I'm bitchy, so..." --#overheard in the lobby of CHM

@5258. "To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not enough time." --Leonard Bernstein

@5260. #overheard in the locker room for the Friday Phil concert:
Person 1: "Hopefully my pants won't fall off this time...they fell off on the bus."
Person 2: "Accidentally or on purpose?"
Person 1: "What?...No, my pants on my *tux*."

@5262. I was helping Tim check off the folders after the concert, and Egeman and Levi (the person who hosted us there) came up and were talking to Tim about his piece "Journey" that we did and his composition endeavors. There was some composition contest that Egeman was talking about and suggesting. Last year, he said, the theme had been that your piece should include a leitmotif.

At the next pause, Levi clarified, "Sorry, the theme was you have to use llama teeth?"

April 19, 2015
@5263. In the wake of a bunch of people giving fake reviews to their decks, I ran into one today where someone put HTML bold tags around their title, so that it appears in bold in the list of decks. Now that's cheap...

@5264. Note: the color of pocket notebooks I buy is called "Oxide Green."

@5265. "Good job! You were like the best one in your row, I could hear you." --someone after the concert on Saturday

@5266. Someone was asking around if anybody had an extra bowtie last night. Then he realized that the reason he was missing his was that he'd already put it on.

@5267. Saw a construction traffic sign today that said "TRUCKS HAULING." Two problems with this:
- It makes you pause and consider how strangely worded the sign is, which is not usually what you're going for when you're putting up a hazard sign.
- If you need to be told to watch out for trucks (hauling or otherwise) in a construction zone, you really shouldn't be driving in one.

@5268. During this single weekend, I somehow managed to lose two combs -- both of the ones I brought with me on Saturday.

@5270. "Why is E there? That's a stupid place for E." --Marty

@5271. "This was damn near crap last night." --Marty

@5273. "I applauded in seven." --#overheard audience member, after playing Mandra

April 20, 2015
@5274. "I'm not saying that I'm voting for him, but can you see my arm at this angle?" --someone in Chapel Choir, during a blind vote

@5275. "Sure, what the hell?" --someone accepting a nomination

@5276. "Pass." --someone declining a nomination
{BL #8156}

@5277. In their speech, someone said that he'd heard that being secretary was "a lot like herding cats and dogs." Multiple people heard this as "hurting cats and dogs."

@5278. One of the worst line breaks I've seen in a while:
Davidic-
heir

@5280. Oddly, another one very soon after, on a blog (this one due to a crappy hyphenation algorithm, I think):
read-
just

That one had me scratching my head for about fifteen seconds.

@5281. "They've having, like, 13-year-olds in charge of commanding the Trojan War? No wonder they're losing!" --Ben

@5282. "But this [reading] is ingenious rather than convincing." --in our Aeneid commentary

@5283. My calendar looks all sad in the afternoons without ensemble rehearsals... :(

@5284. I opened a terminal intending to start Whitaker's Words, and instead of the relevant 'ww', my fingers typed 'mocp'. Which is a program, but...it's a media player, that I haven't used for some time.

@5285. "Times New Roman is not a font choice so much as the absence of a font choice, like the blackness of deep space is not a color. To look at Times New Roman is to gaze into the void."
http://practicaltypography.com/times-new-roman.html
{BL #6101}

@5286. "If using this medicine for an extended period of time, obtain refills before your supply runs out."
--under "Additional Information" on the facts sheet for my potassium supplement

@5288. I am of the apparently strange opinion that running a verify on a backup should not push the system load average to 9.

@5290. Apparently they move elephants in "crates." Those must be some fucking huge crates. (Unless it's like that joke about how you get a giraffe into a refrigerator: open the door, put the giraffe in, and close the door.)

April 25, 2015
@5291. "The awesomeness of a programmable backpack." --me, referring to my hiking backpack

@5294. I'm highly amused by the fact that in this medical deck, out of over 16,000 notes, the single one that happens to be randomly selected to show on the top of the previews on AnkiWeb contains a picture of a penis.

@5295. "Download adds-on from codes" --#ankiforums

@5296. "Did you lose a diabetes testing kit?" --subject of a stolaf-extra post

@5297. "Cash payments. Caassh paaayments. Like money." --me, voice memo

@5300. "I have to get off the phone, because I'm going to write a poem." --Judyth Hill, introducing her song at the Manitou-Viking concert

@5301. There was this guy on the 9/11 documentary we watched in theology a little while back who said that he believed that the Second Coming would not come until we were ready for it. I really liked that idea.
{BL #6038}

April 26, 2015
@5302. "In reality, cats possess the ability to turn themselves right side up in mid-air if they should fall upside-down, known as the cat righting reflex. This enables them to land on their feet if dropped from sufficient height, about 30 cm (12 in). Toast, being an inanimate object, obviously lacks both the ability and the desire to right itself." --Wikipedia

@5303. "I just want to make sure she's not dead!" --#overheard in the quad

@5305. "I think a handout would make us stand-out." --#overheard in the Cage

@5306. "No, Mom! I was running to room draw, it was clearly the most [reckless?] hour of my life!" --#overheard in the quad

@5308. "It is not currently shit. It is getting there. But it is not very nice." --#overheard in the Cage

@5310. This is the weirdest way someone (AOK, that is) has ever phrased my grade to me: "Your grade for the discussion is A."

@5311. I had an idea while I was out walking tonight (novel). It's a corollary to JMG's famous post entitled "One Story," and I title it "One Theory." In turn it was based off something I read on Studebaker's blog recently, in which he stated in passing that most people who are not moral theorists are surprisingly inconsistent in their beliefs, and it seemed to me to imply that we all ought to be consistent. And for whatever reason I decided to question that assumption (cf. CB30.39). *Is* it important to be consistent in one's moral beliefs, to have a single unifying theory? And I thought that perhaps really, it wasn't; what matters is that you always do what you feel ethically comfortable with (to the extent that you are sane and capable of making good decisions in that respect).

But I think in a lot of things, we have this desire to make everything fit one theory, and this leads to a dangerous and ugly and maybe even boring reductionism. It's natural to want this, I think: wouldn't it be cool, for instance, if there were a single theory that somehow explained everything in the universe? (Is this the Question to the Life, the Universe, & Everything?) But combined with confirmation bias, we start twisting things around to fit a theory that really isn't cut out to explain something else. For instance, what happens when we start trying to explain objective facts with religion? We wind up insisting that the earth is flat in the face of powerful evidence to the contrary, and then we get ourselves in a real fix because we're trying to deny reality. Better to leave the religious aspects in the realm of things that are not objective fact, which is what religion is good at in the first place. Conversely, what if we like the way science helps us explain the world and we want to apply it to everything? Well, now if it can't be measured objectively, it doesn't exist.

This doesn't happen everywhere. Nobody says that Newtonian mechanics is bullshit because the theory of relativity exists and is a useful way to describe everything. Sure, Newtonian mechanics relies on certain simplifications. But it still objectively *works*, and it's a very clean and beautiful approximation to (the best approximation we have of) what's actually going on that is far more accurate than available measuring precision in all but the most unusual circumstances. If I want to know how long it's going to take me to drive 400 miles on the interstate and I have to take the time dilation caused by my travel into account, I'm probably not going to bother to figure it out. (And is it how long it takes *me* to travel, or how long the people at my destination think I took to travel it? For that matter, are our clocks the same to begin with?) If I want to write an email client, I don't try to plan everything out using the theory of circuitry. There is no "theory of computing" that will appropriately encompass everything that's going on and be a useful tool at all levels.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that a useful theory has a single purpose and it sticks to it, and intelligent people shouldn't try to apply it to places beyond where it belongs. (It might be a nice and useful exercise to play with it sometimes, but if you find yourself stretching things and making ugly concessions to get it to work, you're probably pounding in a nail with a spoon.) Good theories are like Unix utilities: do one thing and do it well, and then we use our natural creativity and associative memory to pipe them together.

@5312. TeX geekery moment -- and I seriously almost did this, I am not making this up or exaggerating how close I was to doing it -- I came to the end of a line in my paper journal after the word "Mellby" and knew that the room number "310" needed to come next, and I knew that "310" wasn't going to fit on the line but this was a crappy place for a line break. So I was on the verge of putting my pen to the paper after "Mellby" to draw a tilde to indicate a non-breaking space.

@5314. "I hope everyone gets to go to heaven except Hegel." --Sebastian
(/r/fuckyouinparticular?)

@5316. I was noticing again that I have a recording in my voice memos app titled "Ornament onion." I have this because autocorrect suggested it for "ornamentation" and I found it so hilarious I couldn't help accepting the correction.

@5317. "It [the software] ought to be smart enough to do that. But I can't really complain, because I wrote it." --me

@5318. Programmers making typos (in constant strings) always makes me a little bit nervous...

April 28, 2015
@5319. "Document cannot be saved as text." --Conkeror, displaying a text file

@5321. "All great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning." --Camus, 'An Absurd Reasoning'

@5322. I just starred an idea I liked so hard that I cut through the paper with HB lead.

@5323. "Emacs was nice, but I now prefer systemd instead." --Slashdot comment
{BL 2502}

@5325. Sisyphus the Piano-Tuner

@5326. "You're so bad at putting your dishes away! You're just terrible at it." --#overheard by the tray return in the caf

@5327. "A...what do you call it. Music major." --#overheard in the quad

@5328. I decided today that I found an (arguably) autological line in Vergil, Aen 9.447:
    nulla dies umquam memori vos eximet aevo

Not only is it talking about Nisus and Euryalus not being forgotten, it itself is not forgotten! Of course, it's a special kind of autology, because Vergil could not have written it thusly on purpose.

I got to thinking about this because this line is written on the 9/11 memorial (in English translation, but with "Vergil" tagged in the corner). And it's rather out of context since it's...well, glorifying Nisus and Euryalus. Which isn't quite what they're going for, is it? At least that's not what *I* would be going for on a 9/11 memorial. Though I'll admit the line itself is very nice. But as I said during class, anytime you quote somebody or merely refer to their work, you necessarily must deal with the connotations associated with their work and with the context, because you can't expect people to set that aside. Making those connections is how we develop our thought and how we learn.

(Cf. #4753 on autological sentences.)

@5330. So I thought there was an odd dark spot in my peripheral vision...but there was actually a piece of black fuzz sitting on the carpet over there.

April 30, 2015
@5331. "Thanks! It worked smoothly, like the remote moon, like imaginary breezes." --#ankiforums, fifya

@5332. "Flying today is worse than riding a Greyhound bus in the 1950s."

@5333. "Promise I won't do it again?" --#ankiforums: someone banned from AnkiWeb for stacking reviews

@5334. "Empty nose syndrome"

@5335. "Is that ears or air or gold?" --Alison, translating "aures"

@5336. "House style is that vectors are purple with yellow dots." --answer on TeX Stack Exchange explaining why contextual commands are useful

@5338. Yes, hibernating your computer will cause data to "burst into the RAM" when it is restored, thereby "creating black spots" which will decrease its efficiency.
http://superuser.com/questions/907474/can-hibernating-the-computer-damage-the-ram

May 01, 2015
@5339. Helpdesk: "I have the connector from there to a UPC connector." (meaning USB)

@5340. "Hi I got into a problem" --#ankiforums

@5341. "So what browser are you using?" / "I used to have Mozzarella, but now I'm using Wirevox."

@5342. "I'm kind of a font connoisseur. What about Times New Roman?"

@5343. I find this phrasing extremely amusing: "14-year perpetual calendar"

@5344. "Note: the following table is mostly wrong." --seen on the LaTeX Wikibook

@5347. Just read _Waiting for Godot_...very interesting.
"Because we're waiting for Godot!"

@5348. Also, it sounds so much like it fits into the Coope, Boyes and Simpson song "Waiting by the Road" that I can't help swapping the words.

@5349. Man, I cannot spell 'diphthongs' correctly on the first try for the life of me.

@5350. I've decided if you try to clarify something but really just make it worse, it's a "muddification."

@5352. "Do you want to know where this post became useless to Silicon Valley's entrepreneurs, venture capitalists, and big thinkers? Right where I said, 'Computers are not a natural working medium for mathematics.' They understand computers and they understand how to turn computers into money so they are understandably interested in problems whose solutions require computers. Sometimes a problem comes along that doesn't naturally require computers. Like mathematics. They may then define, change, and distort the definition of the problem until it does require computers."

@5353. "I like thunderstorms. Until they get really bad. Then things get beat up and people die and stuff. That's never good." --me
(cf. #1830)

@5354. I saw a dog using the drinking fountain in the quad (with a person to help it, of course). It was tall enough to put its forepaws up on the crossbar, and then the person turned on the water and the dog drank. It was really pretty funny.

@5355. "I love this skirt because I can pull it over my head and still be comfortable." --#overheard outside the caf

@5356. "As my roommate, you're responsible for my life and my death. More so my life." --#overheard in the quad

@5357. "Where's concept 23? Oh, I didn't do it." --me

@5358. "The Frobenius Endomorphism"

@5359. Learned, for about the twentieth time in my life, that weighted averages are really confusing: if you get a higher grade than your current average in one part of a weighted average grade, but a lower grade than your current class average, you can still gain overall percentage.

@5362. (In a discussion about meaningless phrases.)
Me: "You could just mix the word order up completely."
Joseph: "So basically Vergil."

@5364. I just mistyped "linguistic" as "linguishit." It has *almost* the same set of letters...

@5366. "Extra Circular Activities" --on an Honor Council application
Do I trust someone to be my Honor Council representative if they can't proofread their application (or, worse, they actually think that they're called "extra-circular activities")?

@5367. Talk about a loaded question: "Do you think there should be more discussion about diversity on campus?" (yes/no)

@5368. "...but you only paste once (YOPO)." --in the docs for a vim plugin

@5371. Well... I'm now a member of Ole Choir. I'm not exactly sure what to think about that.

@5375. "Do you currently have an iPhone? / 'I'm not sure.'" --offered answer to a survey question on the NWI Times website (of course, I selected this option to be a smart-ass, because their system of making you answer a poll to view the page is really annoying and dumb)

@5376. "There were also notions that spitting into a frog's mouth three times after intercourse would prevent pregnancy."
Okay, the Romans didn't have everything figured out...I particularly like that it has to be *three* times.

@5377. "...because $mn$ is the product of two finite integers."
This got the smart-ass but very accurate comment: "...all integers are finite!"

@5378. "We [the Ole Thrift Shop] do *NOT* accept: socks, underwear, food, trash, or items with holes or tears."

@5383. "Hi everybody. For those of you who have young kids I have a couple days this month that I can babysit, May 23 and 39." --seen on Facebook

@5384. "Often those who bearest not; break forth into singing" --Google Translate corruption of part of above email

@5385. Another great phrase: "the worship of Aspaas"
I don't think that was supposed to be an objective genitive (though actually there's no genitive at all as far as I can see), but it's still pretty funny.

@5386.
I thought this was quite a brilliant use of the "good enough" estimate, which I just happened to think of. I'm typically not very good at doing estimates of this sort, and I'd like to get better.

I wanted to see if I'd remembered to update my work log program to the new rate of $16/hour. But the output only displayed "hours" and "balance due." I could round the hours to 7, but 14*7 or 16*7 is mildly annoying to do in your head. So instead I just did 15*7, found that value was lower than the displayed due value, and knew it was 16*7 and not the other way around.

@5387. "The concept of proving an assumption to be wrong is a strange idea."

@5389. "I'm melting! Moral relativism!" --Joseph at lunch, in a witch voice

@5390. "Do boys have sex drives over there?" --#overheard in the Cage

@5391.
And who takes care of the details? When I worked at Inside Asia magazine and galleys came back for proofreading, they were read and corrected by three people: the two editors, who concentrated on making sure that the spellings and punctuation had been entered correctly, and myself. My role as designer was to check that markup had been correctly applied, and I also focused on the quality of line breaks, hyphenation and justification.

Who checks these details in today's typesetting environment? Judging by the low quality of a lot of typesetting, from the most prestigious magazines to the documents prepared in corporate offices, the answer appears to be -- nobody.
--http://xml.coverpages.org/taylorWYSIWYG.html

@5392. "This is psychedelic!" / "Or psychotic!" --#overheard on the quad from inside Mellby

@5393. "print a[0][1:len(a[0])-1],a[1],float(a[3])/100"
What in the...

@5395. A funny typing error: "lasty ear"

@5396. "Avoid intending after list" --typo of "indenting"
(The opposite of #2255.)

@5397. "to moo in reply" --WW definition of 'remugio'
I mean, it's accurate, but it's still a pretty goofy definition.

Also, it's an awesome word to begin with.

@5398. I told someone before Ole Choir auditions who had not done them before (I can't, oddly, remember who it was) to "breathe." He laughed and said something to the effect of, "Yeah, that's a good thing. Necessary for life and all."

@5400. I'm afraid Sophia's second email to me the other day (in =Beauty, rereading) has an Intelligence Coefficient of Exclamation Marks (#1859) of .67 ("Extremely overexcited or extremely stupid"). But it was sincerely meant...

@5401. I think the two Random Thoughts files might still just *barely* fit on a single 3.5-inch floppy disk -- if not, it's a close call. That just goes to show you how awesome ASCII (well, UTF-8) text is as a format.

@5402. There's a thread on StackOverflow asking how to exit vim. It has 432 up-votes.

Really it's not *all* that strange, because it's totally non-intuitive and there are plenty of people who will be trying to use it for the first time and google it to find out. But still, in the words of a commenter, "This is a legendary question."

Update: There's a post on the SO blog now about this thread. I quote: "In the last year, 'How to Exit the Vim Editor' has made up...one out of every 20,000 visits to SO questions. That means during peak traffic hours on weekdays, there are about 80 people per hour that need help getting out of Vim."

@5406. I love interpreting Vergil...I can basically make up whatever the hell I want as long as it matches the language and call it an argument.

May 11, 2015
@5408. I hate the word "reenter": all three plausible ways to spell it seem weird.
reenter (I have rEEn-tered!)
re-enter (ugly)
reënter (archaic)

I would avoid it, but it's impossible to do so in this dream without resorting to ugly circumlocutions.

@5410. "Common English usage misconceptions. The neutrality of this article is disputed. It has been suggested that this article be merged into 'Disputes in English grammar.'"

@5411. One of the funniest uses of the literary double negative is Douglas Adams' description of a machine dispensing "a substance almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea."

May 13, 2015
@5413. "What was that short piece they played before the conductor came out? It was awful!"

@5414. I graded people on CS125 homework for about 10 minutes on whether they'd completed exercises with certain numbers -- on the WRONG homework. I was wondering why literally *nobody* had done D2 and D3...

@5417. "13 suggestions or improvements" --#ankiforums
Sounds a little like 95 Theses!

@5424. Man, is it a gloomy and depressing Reading Day. It's been pouring and gray all day, and it feels like evening even though it's 4:30 because it's so dark outside. If it were just ordinary studying, it'd be a great time for it to be raining, but with all the stress here I think it really would help if it were at least decently nice outside.

@5425.
Card: "A ring is an abelian group under multiplication."
Me: "Is not."
--#ankiblunders

@5426. The Great Con paper assignment says that your paper must be in "a 12-point font." While I applaud them for not prescribing a specific font, I do wonder how crazy you could get before they would complain, and if so what they would say. (Could I design my own font in which each letter was stretched and kerned so that only a word fit per line, but was labeled "12-point"? Could I use Wingdings in 12-point? Could I bold, italicise, and underline everything and print it in yellow text on a white page? It doesn't say a "readable" or "text" font.)

Actually, you could go a long way with a "joke paper," so to speak, that followed the letter of the rules but was completely wacko. For instance, how many sets of your average paper guidelines specifically indicate what language the paper should be in? Or what size paper you need to print it on? It would be awesome to turn in a paper printed in seven columns on a poster.

@5428. "In answer to the Moodle question [is /I think, therefore I am/ defensible]: It probably depends on what the meaning of 'is' is (with apologies to Bill Clinton)"
--written in the margin of my Descartes

@5429. "Regard it as just as desirable to build a chicken house as to build a cathedral." --Frank Lloyd Wright
This reminds me of Bringhurst's admonition to pay attention even to the insignificant typographic details.

@5430. Prof. Kaden told us a joke a while back. The question is, "Who is the shortest person in the Bible?" Some people say it's Zacchaeus; others say it's "Knee-high-a-miah." But actually it's Job's friend, Bildad the Shoe-Height. [sp. recte "Shuhite"]

@5431. "I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room." --Blaise Pascal

May 15, 2015
@5435. "But, as all of us who will soon make way for robot masters and robot directors know, the march of supposed progress cannot be halted, especially not by a cultural predilection." --CNet, apparently utterly seriously
Uh-huh...

@5436. According to the assignment guidelines, my Great Con paper needs to have a thesis. Uh-oh... :P

@5439. "The first and only 2-in-1 joint and sleep supplement!"
And...what is the purpose of combining those?

@5440. "Are you a virgin?" / "Pardon?" / "Yeah, if it's not a personal question." / "How much more personal can you get!?"
--Life of Bryan

@5441. "Windy with a few clouds." --weather forecast

May 18, 2015
@5442. "Contents of the statue of Death:"

@5444. You force your crude dagger into a crack and pry. Maud suddenly disappears!

@5445. The other night we were discussing whether it would be worthwhile to audit a philosophy class, and Annika told us that in college her mother audited typing. (Apparently this was only one of a very large number of eccentric things that she did in college.)

@5447. So when Bryan and I set up Mathematica for linear algebra at the beginning of this year on our Linux machines, we had a lot of trouble getting the activation keys to work, and as part of that I ended up re-requesting a license key several times. Today I got no fewer than four emails telling me my site license has been extended.

@5452. "I write one page of masterpiece to ninety-one pages of shit. I try to put the shit in the wastebasket." --Hemingway
{BL #8364}

@5453. "I used to manage a motorcycle shop and people would come in all the time looking for the cheapest helmet we had. I always asked them what their head was worth and left the decision up to them." --Lifehacker comment

@5454. Having a lot of trouble typing after moving all my boxes into storage. Your muscles get used to making a really big effort, and then you want to overdo it on the small things.

@5458. Stored the trash can I forgot to put in storage. They had a sign on the door saying 'Mellby storage is FULL', but they were clearly still accepting items.

May 25, 2015
@5459. Went looking for something to tell me where the proper place to hyphenate 'Beethoven' is. This one website tells me that it's monosyllabic. I guess I've been pronouncing it wrong...

@5460. "I recently started using your application both for my mac and iphone. It's super effective, but design of the app is worst." --#ankiforums

@5461. So Grandpa and I were working on a little bit of video editing and ran into one that had been taken on a phone in portrait mode, but the phone had detected the orientation of the phone wrong or something, because it was sideways. Grandpa asked if we could fix it in the Adobe software he had bought for it, and I said I was sure we could. "But of course," I said, "the audio will be rotated too."

He said I had him going for about a second.

@5462. "Press the button that is in the middle of nowhere and often marked with a symbol." --part of my "computer treatise" that I wrote for homeschool, explaining how to turn the computer on

@5463. "It's barely worth my time to post this in the trash can instead of throwing it to Extra." --me, misquoting myself

@5464. "Closed captions cards" --#ankiforums for cloze cards

May 29, 2015
@5465. "Ach, cantankerous offal!" --Judith, to her horse, "Judith"

@5466. "I did a not insubstantial amount of swearing at it." --CB31.63

@5467. Just remembering that someone on the Empire Builder asked me if I was working on homework when I was catching up on CB. No, I'm done with that for now, thank God...

@5468. "Pending read you receive my greetings and thanks" --#ankiforums (machine translation)

@5469. "Or, to increase your [mobile data] plan by 1GB for $0 more per month, reply YES."
Somehow I doubt this is what they meant.

UPDATE: Believe it or not, it is; they decreased the price of all plans by $10 but didn't charge people less unless they explicitly switched plans.

@5470. "If I get up to go to the bathroom without looking, I'm going to die." --me, after leaving a lot of stuff on the floor
{BL CB33.9}

@5471. So I told this one to my parents yesterday. I can't remember where I learned it.
A guy walks into a bar, orders a pint of beer, and goes and sits down at a table. As he's about to start drinking his beer, a monkey swings over the table and pees in it. Annoyed, he gets up and goes and asks the bartender, "Whose monkey is that?" "It's the pianist's," says the bartender. So the guy goes over to the pianist and asks him, "Do you know your monkey pissed in my beer?" "No," says the pianist, "but if you hum it I'll play it."

May 31, 2015
(Cleaning up PB.)

@5475. "How in the world am I supposed to draw a pilcrow on the train?" --me

@5476. "I tried to install it on my mobile phone." --#overheard on the South Shore, 2015

@5478. "Any volunteers to get off at Tomah?"

@5479. #overheard in the lounge car:
Guy at snack bar: "I need a hot tea."
Miss Oliver: "I would like to have a hot tea..."
Him: (accepts correction)
(Cf. #805)
{BL CB35.51}
{BL #8713}

@5482. While waiting for all the Anki I did while camping to finish syncing, I found myself starting to sing "...when I was sinking down..."
UPDATE: Now every time I hear this song I think of this... cf. #4717.
Also cf. #4766.

@5483. And now for a bunch of stuff written in PB while camping.

@5485. In the used bookstore in Mineral Point, I found a cookbook published in 1989 by the American Heart Association on low-fat cooking. What caught my eye was the fact that it was a cookbook written by an M.D. The whole thing was really pretty hilarious (and stomach-churning, in some ways, although it wasn't all *that* bad for the most part), but these two quotes stood out:

In the introduction: "The recipes in this book have been analyzed by computer."

And in the ingredients list for a number of recipes: "1 Tbsp acceptable vegetable oil."

@5488. While browsing our wildflowers field guide, I ran across a plant called "bastard toadflax." We decided that could be a term of endearment of some sort, so we've started using it jokingly.

@5491. "Your safety and security are of the upmost concern to those of us who welcome you as our guest." --seen on the brochure at the Best Western in Dodgeville

@5492. "Please dispose of corndog sticks in proper receptacle." --sign in the caf line

@5494. #overheard in the campground by the water fountain between 270 and the pit toilets: "This is where the raccoon peed on yours, isn't it?"

@5496. "WHOEVER IS PRAYING FOR RAIN / PLEASE STOP" --seen on a church sign in (very low-lying) Momence during a period of rain

@5497. "Dear anki authorities" --#ankiforums salutation

@5498. I just spent over five minutes looking for what I thought was a missing Records Project book, only to close the book that was lying open on the table and discover it was the one I thought was missing.

June 16, 2015
@5500. "The only bad thing about this song is that you don't want it to end." --Papa, about "Precious Lord"
(cf. #5304)

@5501. So I got a B+ in Abstract Algebra. I'm *really* happy about that. In a very illogical but quite understandable development, I now feel a lot better about how the class went now that I know that my grade was not a disaster (indeed, quite a bit better than I had expected). I still didn't fully understand everything in the course, but you know, maybe that doesn't have to be the point. It taught me something about doing proofs in preparation for algorithms. It gave me a very difficult class to try to wrap my head around. It taught me that there *are* such crazy and abstract and difficult things out there to struggle with if you want to. And it was something different. Maybe most of all, I think it taught me that that kind of math is not for me, but I can try to force my way through it and have some success if I try hard enough. And all that is worth something even if I can't honestly say in objective terms that I "liked" the class given how difficult it was. Although, actually, I still have to admit that (especially before we got into the more complex stuff near the end), there really were parts that I enjoyed, or at the very least found intellectually and mathematically stimulating. So all in all, I think it was a good thing for me to take. I still don't think I'll recommend taking it to people who aren't math majors; I can think it was a good thing for myself to take, but I certainly won't put any shine on the amount of difficult work and hand-wringing involved.

@5505. "Surely the famous Soren Bjornstad, whose technical abilities are superlative, will have a great solution!" --#ankiforums

@5507. "...to my Christmas Festival colleagues, led by Anton Armstrong, who lets all of us speak our piece and then says, 'No, of course not.'" --Sigrid, on her Manitou reunion concert
{BL CB32.79}

@5508. "...and I know that my next Manitou reunion will be in heaven." --Sigrid, on her Manitou reunion concert

@5510. "Music is not the end in itself; it is but a means of grace." --Dr. Armstrong, at Sigrid's Manitou reunion concert

@5511. "She didn't quite tell you the truth, okay?.....in the end, yes, I do get the last word, and it's usually this: 'Yes, dear.'" --Dr. Armstrong, at Sigrid's Manitou reunion concert

@5512.
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and [the] rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
--Irish Blessing

@5514. As the 1897 Sears, Roebuck, and Company Consumer's Guide pointed out: "If you don't find what you are looking for in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue."
http://www.backwordsindexing.com/Intro.html

@5515. "Why do people always read these posts and assume, 'OH, you don't own a BUNDT PAN? I bet you don't have PANTS or FORKS either.'" --Lifehacker comment

@5516. "As luck would have it, there are no true collisions between notes and rests in this example, but that has more to do with the positions of the notes than the rest. In other words, Bach deserves more credit for avoiding a complete collision than Finale does." --LilyPond documentation

@5518. Odd situation caused somehow by the 'verse' LaTeX environment: using \noindent caused a line to be indented, whereas it was not indented without the command.

June 21, 2015
@5519. "No tradition that has to put up with the inconveniences of actually existing is or can be identical to the ageless wisdom that stands eternal in the heavens." --JMG

@5521. I love doing debugging tests. You get to do things like this:
@@@
def moo(self):
    print "MOOOOOO!"
self.form.questionList.model().layoutChanged.connect(self.moo)

Emily 567 [~/current/clicker-quiz-manager](!)$ ./runcqm
MOOOOOO!
MOOOOOO!
@@@

@5522. "Sorry for interrupting. I'd just waited long enough." --me

June 23, 2015
@5523. "South Carolina Refuses To Remove Confederate Flag From Capitol Trailer"

@5524. "...the item is also be selected." --Qt documentation

@5526. "Nearly everyone can feel good about themselves by opposing the confederate flag, but only because this requires no sacrifice on their part and consequently cannot solve anything." --Ben Studebaker

June 26, 2015
@5527. y - an uncursed stone called flint named luckstone
Hmm.

@5528. "A determination of "Water is wet" would be an 8-1 decision by the court with Scalia writing a scathing dissent that forcing the ruling on Americans destroys democracy." --Slashdot comment

@5529. "When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right.  When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong." --Arthur C. Clarke's First Law

@5531. So you might have gathered this from #5528, but the Supreme Court decided that preventing gay couples from getting married is a violation of the Fourteenth Amendment. It's about time, folks. All the same, it's nice to know that there are at least a couple of things our government can actually get done, even when it has to go through the courts.

@5532. "Is there anything I can do, other the backup, to be safe of a crash down?" --#ankiforums

@5533. "The lameness of going to the trouble to do OCR to cheat on a typing game is mind-boggling."

July 01, 2015
@5534. I #overheard the following while waiting in line at Walgreens, spoken super-loud by one of the pharmacy attendants into the drive-thru headset:
"As a precaution, ma'am, to put in our system...you're not trying to get pregnant, are you?"

@5535. So apparently somewhere in Canada there were a couple of guys in a helicopter chatting about their sex lives...with the megaphone on.

@5536. typeupsidedown.com

@5538. "Despite Governor Asa Hutchinson's refusal to sign a controversial religious freedom bill that seemed to permit businesses to discriminate against homosexuals, officials from Arkansas-based retailer Walmart announced Wednesday that they would nevertheless continue defending whichever gays buy their cheap shit."

@5539. "Why did I write 'page'? Oh, I'm looking at the wrong part of the code." --me

@5541. "I do see the reasoning behind the status quo as well." --#ankiforums

@5543. "After This"

July 05, 2015
@5547. Slashdot comment on user interfaces:
"""
I believe they call it UX now.

It used to be called UI, but after a while people became familiar with the term UI and knew how to use it.

So, they had to change it.
"""

@5548. I had some kind of dream last night or the night before about a kind of poetry that used some sort of concordance different than but similar to rhyme. It seemed to be related to the sort of alliteration that early English poetry used, but it involved words in specific places within the lines that matched each other in some way. It was very beautiful; it's too bad I can't remember more.

@5550. On this Cara Dillon video on YouTube, the description text begins with "Massan and Ellie Forever." Curious what this meant, I googled it in quotation marks; there were 96 results, and when I clicked on *any* of them and did a find, nothing came up. None of them explained it or were that sort of site, either...so I guess it's just a huge mystery. It sounds cool. Nice and mysterious for something you can't figure out, I suppose.

@5551. I've looked at this other one probably three times, and it's titled "Never in a Million Years After the Morning," which I thought was a really neat title, but wasn't sure exactly what it meant. It turns out that the song is "Never in a Million Years," and it's from the album "After the Morning," which isn't nearly as cool but makes a hell of a lot more sense.

@5552. Reminds me of a #mondegreen which I don't have in here: when I got the 24/7 album by CB&S, I listened to it a couple of times before I looked at the lyrics, and I thought during that time that the title and refrain of the song "Privatize" was "private eyes," which made a little bit of sense and is a lot more fun.

In my defense, it's very difficult to tell the difference in a properly sung text, because the 't' has to attach to the 'ize' syllable regardless of which it is. Plus the accent fell largely on the third syllable (in accordance with my interpretation of the first two as an adjective) because of the line of the music.

@5553. In the same way, when the media spouts some absurd bit of manipulative hogwash, if you take the time to think about it, you can watch your own representation shift from "that guy's having an orgasm from slurping that fizzy brown sugar water" to "that guy's being paid to pretend to have an orgasm, so somebody can try to convince me to buy that fizzy brown sugar water." If you really pay attention, it may shift again to "why am I wasting my time watching this guy pretend to get an orgasm from fizzy brown sugar water?" and may even lead you to chuck your television out a second story window into an open dumpster, as I did to the last one I ever owned. (The flash and bang when the picture tube imploded, by the way, was far more entertaining than anything that had ever appeared on the screen.)
--JMG

@5555. So I found a can of sardines in the basement and thought they had been there for a long time, so I checked the expiration date: Best by October 28, 2019. Holy crap, those things last...

@5557. Apparently there are twenty different commands that can be used to quit vim (:help write-quit).

@5558. "Ever need to open just one more application, but find you're 100K short of RAM?"
--/How Macs Work/, 1993

@5560. "Please *do not* enter any links that begin with 'http' in the field below." --St. Olaf health insurance waiver
Sounds like somebody needs to fix their form...

@5561. And here's the confirmation email I got:
Date: Sun, 12 Jul 2015 11:29:21 -0500
From: noreply@american-mgmt.com
To: bjornsta@stolaf.edu
Subject: St Olaf 2015-2016 - Waiver
X-Mailer: PHP/5.3.3-7.6+hw2

Thank you for completing your Waiver for St Olafs health insurance plan.
We have recieved your waiver form and it will be processed shortly.
If you have any questions, please contact your schools office.

Besides misspelling 'receive', I'm suspicious that the apostrophes are missing because they screwed up the quoting in their PHP code, given the above entry. I'm not quite sure we should be doing business with these folks...

@5564. "Information Sent Here Advises Actions I Cannot Take and Refers to Findable Places When I Only Run into Blank Walls" --#ankiforums subject

@5565. "There is [an] ancient writing in a cave somewhere, that says there [are] 3 things that make life worth living, sex, faith, and Kate Rusby." --YouTube comment

@5566. Sod's Law: If something can go wrong, it will, and it will happen at the worst possible time.

July 16, 2015
@5567. Why Are Salted Hashes More Secure?
http://security.stackexchange.com/questions/51959/why-are-salted-hashes-more-secure

@5568. "The hashing process is like a meat grinder: there is no key, everybody can operate it, but there is no way to get your cow back in full moo-ing state."
--http://security.blogoverflow.com/2011/11/why-passwords-should-be-hashed/

@5570. "importing runs amok" --#ankiforums subject

@5571. "Desktop Stationary" --sign at Staples

@5572. Today at 4PM on Wunderground:
Active Advisory: Tornado Watch, Severe Thunderstorm Warning, Flood Warning, Flash Flood Watch, Heat Advisory, Special Statement
Active Notes: Local Storm Report, Public Information Statement

When I posted a screenshot of this on Facebook, Nichi said, "OUTSIDE IS CLOSED."

July 19, 2015
@5575. I always remember this quote from Things People Said: "A supersaturated solution is one which holds more than it can hold."
The best part is that it's really not that far off!

@5576. "To produce about 500 g of honey, foraging honey bees have to travel the equivalent of three times around the world."
(Wikipedia)

@5578. "The drawers are made to fit 3" by 5" cards and all slide in and out easily....Great for photos, essential oils, thread, herbs, any collection."
Might it also be great for 3x5 cards?

@5580. "When traveling on the Auto Train, motorcycles, vehicles with trailers and Priority Vehicle Offloading must check in by 2:30 pm. All other vehicles must check in by 2:30 pm as well."

So...all vehicles must check in by 2:30pm. That was too hard.

@5584. "What the hell is Cue?!" --me, finding it in my password manager accounts list

@5585. "I should migrate away from Comcast ASAP, they're causing eye-dee-ten-tee errors." --in the notes section of my password manager for my Comcast account

@5586. Username: 'user error'

@5588. "I currently cannot log in because of an asinine system where you can sign up with a 25-character password but only log in with a 20-character one. I have contacted them about this." --also in password manager

July 23, 2015
@5589. FastMail's IMAP access is SOOO much faster than Gmail's...

@5590. "Does the retail kit come with mitigation [migration] software?" --Amazon product question

@5591. Along with 'downforeveryoneorjustme.com', I think one of my favorite website names has to be 'replacementkeyboardkeys.com'.

@5595. "Dorm sweeps are rather like Choral Day, I decided: absolutely nobody actually wants to do it, but it's nevertheless an important community ministry. But damn, am I tired of running the stoPrint installer. [...] I stayed with one girl for about 25 minutes because her computer was so slow. I couldn't get her into a conversation, so we sat in silence staring at a blinking cursor for that time. It was really boring."
--CB22.57-8

@5600. Mama and I decided that all possible permutations of this saying are reasonable:
- Cash for trash: you bring in (what you consider) trash and get money for it.
- Trash for cash: you go to the dollar store and buy a bunch of junk.
- Trash for trash: some sort of swap event.
- Cash for cash: a currency exchange?

@5606. "I keep on trying to dot my x's today. I think it's time for bed!" --CB22.65

@5608. "This" --the entire text of a Scheme compilation error (CB21.76)

@5609. One of the signs of a chimney fire, according to a wood stove manual (CB20.40): "Sparks and flames are flying out of the chimney."

@5610. LISP: Lost In Stupid Parentheses
{BL #9299}

@5611. "The usability of Firefox's UI is like shit in a urinal today." --Slashdot comment

@5612. "nosetestes" --#whoopstypo on the command line

@5613. "Naive objects are easy to understand and to work with, at the cost of ignoring some aspects of reality." --datetime documentation

August 07, 2015
@5614. "It was riveting. It was admirable. It compels me to write a cluster of words I never imagined writing: hooray for Fox News." --NYT editorial on last night's debate

@5615. Reasons to use constants instead of raw numbers, #500: I just spent at least 5 minutes debugging why an if-statement wasn't working properly. Turns out I wrote '16834' instead of '16384'.

@5616. "Trains are big." --#overheard child on the South Shore

@5617. Another child, repeating a parent's words in a sing-song voice: "People are coming [through the aisle], so sit down...People are coming, so sit down..."

@5619. "To hear a duck quack, press seven."

@5620. "In 2008, more than...106% of automobiles were recycled."

@5621. Why passwords should be able to be displayed in cleartext:
http://www.nngroup.com/articles/stop-password-masking/

It's worth noting that this is a website that talks a lot about your business, so it is not exactly a security-oriented company, but they certainly consider security, and they make a very good argument.

@5622. Here's a fun SQLite error: "Use of recursive cursors is not allowed."

@5623. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_toad

August 14, 2015
@5624. Shipping options:
Standard: 5-10 business days
Priority: 5-10 business days

At least they also have the same price.

@5625. "We really care to make our customer happy. Buy with confidence as we will accept any returns within 30 days. All your queries will be answered within 24 hours & we promise to resolve any issues you might have." --"Terms of sale" for a bookstore

@5626. "According to the reports, the plaintiff claims she 'sustained a lacerated cornea with a vitreous detachment and all head, neck, eyes and vision were severely damaged' by the roll. Seems very unlikely that 'all head [and] neck' were severely damaged by a dinner roll, unless they throw them at something close to escape velocity, but let's assume the other injuries are at least possible." --Lowering the Bar

@5628. "As for Bodoni, its high-contrast design is flashy and attractive, but annoying to read after three words."
--http://practicaltypography.com/bad-fonts.html

@5629. https://github.com/nvbn/thefuck

@5630. "coding: utf-42"
--Python documentation's example of an invalid encoding

@5631. Oh no: the Chicken Scheme compiler has a guaranteed maximum of 120 arguments per procedure.

@5634. "Wow, my code worked the first time." --me

@5635. "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." --Isaac Asimov

@5636. "For reasons that probably reach far into our evolutionary past, a call to shared sacrifice usually gets a rousing response, so long as the people who are being asked to sacrifice have reason to believe something worthwhile will come of it." --JMG

@5637. "I know. It's wrong because of the one-upmanship." --me, describing why the tooltips in Anki were not displaying the buttons I pressed because of an add-on that shifts the values by one

@5638. When calling Frontier about an internet connection problem: "We are experiencing technical difficulty with our music on hold."

They went on to tell me that when there was silence, I should stay on the line, and I would still be connected. And then the hold music played normally.

@5640. I think I just made up a term: instead of "human-readable" for stuff that's technical error output, "user-readable."

@5641. I just tried to set up CQM so that it loaded the path to the database from a table in the database.

@5642. "Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it." --Brian Kernighan

@5643. "So what's the best material for nibs, and why? Assuming that the materials in question can be adjusted (tempered, shaped, finished, etc.) to produce the same feel in the user's hand, then the ideal material would be one that costs nothing and lasts forever. Obviously, there is no such material."
--http://www.richardspens.com/?page=ref/ttp/materials.htm

@5644. I just got a mail notification from mailer-daemon@messagingengine.com telling me that the attempt to send email to <myass@example.com> timed out, but it will keep trying until mid-afternoon on Sunday. I expected emailing example.com would just black-hole emails...

@5645. Because there is a broad ban in academic circles on "blaming the victim," it is generally considered unacceptable to question the reasonableness (let alone the sincerity) of someone's emotional state, particularly if those emotions are linked to one's group identity. The thin argument "I'm offended" becomes an unbeatable trump card.
--http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/

@5646. "Some studies advise against taking ginger during pregnancy, suggesting that ginger is mutagenic, though some other studies have reported antimutagenic effects."
Oh, science...we don't really know anything, do we?

@5648. "...however, this should not apply to ordinary oral consumption of Earl Grey tea."

@5649. "List of lemonade topics"

@5650. High Altitude Flatus Expulsion

August 26, 2015
@5652. http://tonedear.com/
While it's a great site, I keep parsing that URL as "tone dear" and #misread ing it as "tone deaf", which is kind of the opposite of what the site wants, isn't it?

@5654. The other day I was parking my bike at church and was remembering a time when I was parking at VBS and there was a session in progress in the room with the windows below my parking spot. (It was the year I edited the newsletter, so I got there when stuff was already going on.) The adult who was in there later told me that one of the kids interrupted the session to ask her, "Why is he parking his bike on the roof?" I mean, it does rather look like it when you're in the basement...

@5655. When Mama and I were shopping at Ace for some paint the other day, I noticed a warning on the side of the paint-mixing machine, which casually stated, "This machine is not explosion-proof."

@5657. "No, planes are pretty much set up for not-smoking. Heck, there's even a 'No Smoking' sign on the ashtray in the bathroom."

@5658. "A 2013 study published in the journal BMC Medicine found that one-third of herbal supplements sampled contained no trace of the herb listed on the label."
Nice.

@5659. "Warning: Do not use this pen other than for writing." --on a Platinum Preppy fountain pen
{BL #9767}

@5660. "...as an additional quiver in their bow." --Slashdot post

@5661. "In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." --Theodore Roosevelt

@5662. "...I think the four-in-hand takes up the least material, followed by the Pratt, the half-Windsor and last of all, of course, the silk-extravagant full Windsor, which looks magnificent with the right jacket and collar but gives you a knot of about the bulk and weight of a small cat."

@5663. "The superheterodyne receiver in radar detectors has a local oscillator that radiates slightly, so it is possible to build a radar-detector detector...since detector-detectors use a similar superheterodyne receiver, many early "stealth" radar detectors were equipped with a radar-detector-detector-detector circuit." --Wikipedia

September 01, 2015
@5664. "Oh no I'm so clumsy I blew up the sun!" --http://www.jspowerhour.com/comics/93

@5665. "Had to throw it away--smelled like smoked tea, awful." --review for Lapsang Souchong

@5666. "Fuck, for whose benefit am I carrying this burden?"
An odd mix of registers...

@5667. Once I helped a user whose folders were all named "New Folder." There was a "New Folder" and a "New Folder (2)" and so on up to "New Folder (35)." He opened up one of them, and there were more "New Folders." And inside those were more. He had a series of handwritten sheets that indexed each of his files for him. He'd look up a file he wanted to find, and it would say, for example, "New Folder (22) - New Folder (5) - New Folder (8)."

I mentioned that he could rename the folders to reflect what data they contained. The user thanked me but assured me that the system he was currently using worked quite well.
--Computer Stupidities

@5668. #ankiforums:
Subject: English for communications
Body: Work, adventuress

@5670. "See, there's this thing called the internet, where Reddit gets all of its material. That's the thing I like to read." --Alan Henry of Lifehacker, responding to someone accusing him of posting something with incorrect attribution

@5671. People become too reliant on "black box" functions and libraries where you simply pass in values and the output magically appears.

I loaned a student my HP calculator to take a quiz one time. I asked him if he knew how to use it and he said "of course". (Enter>=!). The question dealt with the concentration of hydrogen ions in a nearly-neutral solution of something. His answer was "1". "something enter something enter divide" where the second "enter" wasn't supposed to be was his mistake.

I gave him zero points for that answer, and deducted an additional point for not even thinking about whether the answer made sense.
--Slashdot comment

@5672. So I was pretty sure I'd bought Dove soap from Amazon before, so I tried searching my orders for it, but nothing came up. So after paging through some search results, I found an item, and lo and behold, "You purchased this item on January 11, 2014." Turns out that the title doesn't contain the word "soap" anywhere: it's called a "Dove Beauty Bar."

@5673. So apparently now the average American consumes 270 bottles of bottled water every year. What the hell, people.

@5674. I like the Anki,so I'll remember some code use Anki,but about the picture phenomenon,who can help me?

so I discover the Anki cannot display the double curly bracket.It take me a hug trouble.Help me please.
--#ankiforums

@5675. "Can you shot a screen to teach me?" --#ankiforums

@5676. "Largely we predicted flying cars and robots clipping our toenails and completely missed the cat videos and Wikipedia." --CB34.72

September 06, 2015
@5677. "Disambiguation (disambiguation)" --Wikipedia article title

@5679. "Fun fact: saying you have a soul does not automatically make you sound 'like a girl'." --reply to a YouTube comment
{BL #6114}

@5680. "After try make the synchronism my anki doesn't work more." --#ankiforums

September 07, 2015
@5681. They've repainted one of the bridges right before Hegewisch on the South Shore line. It's now about the brightest blue I've ever seen in my life.

@5682. So VU decided this year to change from using perfectly good parking stickers to using hang tags; the reason is not clear to anyone. It's gradually becoming clear that they really didn't think this out very well. For instance, a few days after issuing the new ones, they sent out an email reminding people that it's dangerous to drive with the hang tag on the mirror, so everyone should be careful to remember to take it off before moving. Furthermore, they said, they're going to send everyone a sticker to put on the back of the hang tag that reminds you that it's dangerous to drive with the hang tag on the mirror. .........

@5683. Someone else on the South Shore pointed out a train wash. It was very much like a car wash, only it went over the tracks and was much longer of course. While of course it's a necessary thing, it's still very funny to see.

@5684. In the department of very odd and specific industrial business names: "Chicago Mailing Tube Co."

@5685. Also, "Reynold's Urethane Recycling, Inc."

@5686. I've noticed that while trains can be rather bumpy at times, it's almost never annoying or disruptive (unless there's some particularly bad track out there). I think it may have something to do with the fact that the train is so *long* -- the bumps get spread out over the length of the train, so you get some gently undulating waves rather than huge, jarring bumps when you go over a change.

@5688. "The door said COACH/BAGGAGE. For a minute I thought it said HIGH VOLTAGE." --#overheard on the Empire Builder, a man to his wife as they came back into the car and sat down

@5689. Apparently someone didn't come down who was supposed to disembark at LaCrosse -- there were some four calls for people to come down, including one that ran, "This is the absolute *LAST* call for LaCrosse, Wisconsin!"

@5691. "William Henry Ford" --#ankiblunders

@5692. Jackson apparently was once accused of owning "gambling furniture" (a billiards table). I think that's about the funniest phrase ever.

September 08, 2015
@5693. "Avoid dangerous and distractive behavior." --seen on the side of a bus, advocating being careful as a pedestrian

@5694. "Careful Painting" --business name

@5695. On the way back to STO from Northfield today, I came across a young woman and a dog at the park that's on Ole Avenue. The woman took a big handle and threw a tennis ball for the dog. The dog then went and picked it up from the ground. Then it just lay down in the grass and sat there wagging its tail instead of bringing it back to her, and she couldn't get it to come back in the minute or so I could see what was going on.

@5696. "The Stamp Removal Act." --#ankiblunders

@5697. "Oh, you really can't do that with Katerina. It's only a technique for chicken liver." --#overheard (incorrectly!) on the way out of the caf

@5699. It drives me nuts when a program that says it uses "vi-compatible keybinds" only implements a few of the movement commands. Like this note app that implements ^D and ^U but not ^F and ^B. What the heck?

@5700. Anki forums:
Something is definitely wrong. I had 65 cards to review. I did around 20 and left the room. I came back a few minutes later and now it says I only need to review 1 card !

I'm *really* tempted to reply, "Do you have a cat?"

@5701. "I find it quite urgent as I already suffer from carpool tunnel." --#ankiforums

September 11, 2015
@5702. "Normally copyeditors and proofreaders don't get acknowledgements, but Bob Lentz (copyeditor) and Joe Ruddick (proofreader) did exceptionally thorough jobs. Joe in particular, can spot the difference between a roman period and an italics period from 20 meters." --_Modern Operating Systems_ preface

@5703. So after that I've caught several stray characters in just the first three pages. Including this gem of bad delimiters:

In particular, those instructions that affect control of the machine or do I/O )Input/Output" are forbidden to user-mode programs.

I mean, what?

@5704. "What we learn from this is that the computer industry has a habit of continuously enhancing existing acronyms with new prefixes and suffixes. We also learned that an adjective like "advanced" should be used with great care, or you will look silly thirty years down the line."

@5705. "One last note about Win32 is perhaps worth making. Win32 is not a terribly uniform or consistent interface."

@5708. "All models are wrong. Some models are useful." --George Box

@5709. Had the thought (_Statistical Modeling: A Fresh Approach_, p.21c) that statistics is really an applied discipline of math, sort of like physics. Because it doesn't give you proofs or answers or anything like that. It's about doing the best you can with what you've got, and working in probabilities instead of certainties. (As the book says: the world is complex, and "it is better to be useful than to be provably certain."

See also the idea that "done is better than perfect", which I think I've seen on Lifehacker and often refer to personally but don't have in RT.
See also #4633 about stats vs. mathematics.

@5710. In 2012, [Tim] Storms reclaimed the record for the Lowest Note Produced by a Human. The new record is G(-7), or 0.189 Hz, eight octaves below the lowest G on the piano, or just over seven octaves below the piano.[5]

@5711. "It [cloud computing] allows people to read and modify word-processor files, spreadsheets, and presentations using a smartphone on the toilet. This is generally regarded as #progress." --_Modern Operating Systems_

@5713. "If you are not used to strong typing you may find it excessively pedantic and annoying."

September 14, 2015
@5714. Somehow I don't think "git ln -s" is a thing.

@5719. "Looking up www.localhost.com" --Firefox

@5720. Have you not kuh-nown?

@5722. "Copyright (c) 1901 by Public Domain." --at the end of a quoted ASV text

@5724. "the agony" --spell-check suggestion for "theogony"

@5725.
Q: How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
A: Give them a bottle of shampoo that instructs the user: "Lather. Rinse. Repeat."

September 17, 2015
@5726. "If you have time, you can listen to the Coldplay song 'Atlas', which is in my opinion one of the worst songs ever written. So we won't listen to it." --Prof. Whitlatch

@5727. "Hesiod doesn't seem to like *anything*." --Prof. Whitlatch

@5728. "Sometimes your git gets in kind of a tizzy or something." --RAB
{BL #5861}

@5729. "You have a last word that you get to say to your parent. 'Three!'" --RAB, on child processes exiting

@5730. "This was the fun Sunday. Where I was the only tenor. And I'm not a tenor." --me, listening to last year's Interim choir

@5733. "Some sheriffs, though seemingly legally required to approve such requests, question the wisdom of allowing blind people to own and carry firearms."

@5734. "Venezuela" --autocorrect for "Vanessa"

@5736. "This is, by far, the most destructive What-If scenario to date." --http://what-if.xkcd.com/140/
You know it's going to be *baaad* when that's the first sentence.

@5737. "(These photos taken by me today. I got lots of very odd looks taking photos of empty first class seats over a few hour period on different trains, I hope they help!)" --Travel Stack Exchange

September 19, 2015
@5738. "Free peppers outside Print Center window" --stolaf-extra subject line, #unusualsentences

@5740. Two successive voice memos:
"Think very seriously about decreasing my frequency check for canto and mutt."
"And by 'frequency check,' I mean 'check frequency.'"
(Cf. #8603.)

@5741. Another gem: "So it smells very strongly of egg rolls at 4:05 AM. I don't know what they're doing."

@5742. "The difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less."

@5744. Last year immediately before one of the breaks, I arrived near the end of the dinner time and they were getting rid of whatever they had left in the freezers. I took essentially the food that they had, and this was the resulting meal:
- tortilla with black beans, cheese, and cilantro
- a salad composed of lettuce with blue cheese and thousand island dressing
- carrot curry soup
- lemon cranberry bundt cake

@5745. I was thinking recently that one of the cooler things about RP abbreviations for names (besides taking less time to write) is that they give you some different forms of the name to use stylistically. Sometimes I might want to write out a name specifically, or specifically use the abbreviation. That's a register that you don't have if you leave things unabbreviated (sadly, in English there are not many forms of names). It's a sort of personal language of added expressiveness.

@5747. They clearly have upgraded the St. Olaf data pipeline over the summer like they said they were going to: I'm just downloading a large video file from Google Drive, wired into the Ethernet, and am getting over 4MB/s transfer rates. The whole thing took less than a minute.

@5749. "regarding the collection of cyclic garbage" --Python docs, talking about problems with garbage collection of objects containing circular references

@5750. Book title: "C++ in 8 hours"
Yes, you're going to learn a powerful but horrifically messy and complex language built on a language from 1970 whose primary goal is to allow users to shoot themselves in the foot. In 8 hours. After which time you'll be able to program whatever you want.

@5751. Armstrong told us today a metaphor that KJ used for being ready to start singing your line: it's like you're next to the railroad tracks waiting for a train you're planning to jump. You don't just stand there and try to hop, you start running beside it as it approaches.

@5752. Wrote a wonderful scathing review for this terrible Ada "book" (I'm not even going to give it the honor of being called a book without scare quotes).
There are several major problems with this book:

1) The usage and style is dreadful. Here's a short passage from Chapter 3:

"After the starting letter, identifiers can contain as much numbers, underlines, and letters. Just make sure that underlines only occur once in the identifier. Also, underlines must ever be the last character in the identifier....Letter cases are not very important....However, it is imperative for an identifier to fill one text line."

There are a few places where I can't even tell what the author means, and besides, I find it very difficult to trust a book that is written so poorly and unprofessionally.

2) Though this is supposed to be a "beginner's guide," in several places technical jargon and Ada terminology is used without introduction. While I understand that this is probably not intended to be a book for learning your first programming language, I am a computer science student and have fairly extensive background in programming, and I have trouble understanding some of these paragraphs (not helped by point 1).

Things such as imports or the function Put_Line() (for displaying output on the terminal) are used in code examples without explanation. The text surrounding the code examples tells me less than the code itself, even without much familiarity with Ada's syntax.

In other places, pages are taken up on boilerplate: an entire chapter is devoted to explaining the use of the boolean comparison operators (equal to, not equal to, less than, greater than, less than or equal to, greater than or equal to).

3) The book fails to explain the motivation behind many things; for instance, underscores can be written in numbers and will be ignored by the compiler. The purpose of this is to allow you to write thousands separators in the source code, but it doesn't explain this and leaves you to wonder why you might want to put extra characters in your code without any reason, and why the compiler would specifically be written to allow it.

4) There are no exercises whatsoever, nor does it even explain how one compiles an Ada program, which might be fine for a reference work but hardly for a book that is supposed to introduce you to the language.

This book cannot possibly have earned 4.8 stars on its own merit; while the reviews did look a little bit like empty praise, I wasn't expecting the book to be this bad. Don't waste your money, or your time.

@5753. "In HiPerCiC we like to pretend that we practice test-driven development." --Rodney

@5755. "These are the famous tippy-tables." --RAB

September 25, 2015
@5756. This OS assignment is really dumb. It requires you to "properly handle" null bytes in user input, meaning that you should continue copying them after you reach the null. How the hell are you supposed to find the end with C code that's written to handle null-terminated strings? Also, there is literally no way to get printf to display that text, so it's pointless to have it there in the first place.

@5757. "Because Delos gets to speak. Which is cool. Why not have a talking island?" --Prof. Whitlatch

@5761. "And I'm a constipated baritone." --Dr. Armstrong, telling the tenors they should clearly be able to sing the line he just demonstrated

@5763.
<xiella\splat> does anyone know what excalibur is supposed to look like?
<ShivanHunter> )

@5765. Ask the Duck: http://hwrnmnbsol.livejournal.com/148664.html

@5766. "I know there are a number of parents of students here." --Marty, at the Family Weekend concert

@5767. Working on setting up rsync to pull backups to Lillian. (In fact...writing this entry is part of a test of rsync!)

@5768. "Update:I Zapped Myself With the Wand of Poly-morph But than The Jaguar Ripped Thogh Both Sets of HP and i Died" --on a talk page on NetHackWiki

September 28, 2015
@5769. "No. I'm typing a CAPITAL P. A capital P inserts the letter P into the document!" --me, pissed off at Google Docs/Firefox not working properly

@5770. "Did someone snort at 'twenty dollars'?" --Prof. Ziegler-Graham

@5771. "You are a good choir." --Dr. Armstrong, to Ole Choir

@5772. "Then you sit on your toes. For a really long time." --#overheard in the quad

@5773. "Take a breath, or at least a breath." --typo in my voice reflection

September 29, 2015
@5774. "Umm. Does anyone know why I have a monkey image in my homework 2 folder? That I didn't put there?" --Hawken
{BL #9092}

@5776. We had some recruiter/outreach people from Google come to OS today. I asked Papa's pet question about how possible available disk space can cope with increasing data storage volumes, and the answer I got was that disk space is still growing at a healthy exponential clip and so it simply hasn't been a problem for them yet (looking at the growth rate of big data, I still imagine it will be eventually if present trends continue -- but then those last four words are some of the most naïve and dangerous in all of statistics and economics).

Among the other questions people asked was one about whether Google uses any particular software development methodology, and the answer was no, not really, it depends on each individual project. One of the guys worked on the GUI toolkit for Android, and he said when they were first developing Android, they essentially used the "HSP -> WTC -> S" development methodology, which means:

1. Hire Smart People.
2. Write the Code.
3. Ship it.
{BL CB36.67}

@5777. If I forget, I went to a very interesting sort-of-lecture at the Classics Conversation Table last night by Prof. Ripley in religion, where he talked about how studies of the ancient world can help inform his study of the gospel of John. One of the most interesting things he talked about was how there's often a reductionist approach to Judaism and Christianity in that time period and this notion that Christianity was emerging out of "Judaism," and these were two clearly defined forces (or even, as I might have thought previously, that Judaism was one solid thing and then some amorphous blob of Christianity started taking vague shape and was rather plural over the next while until it finally coalesced into the Catholic Church). He says no, there were actually a number of different kinds of Jewish perspectives at the time, and it's not clear who exactly John was. But this he said might help explain some of the anti-Semitism that's often read into it; I know we talked in The Biblical God last semester about how from Mark -> Luke/Matthew -> John things start to progressively more "blame the Jews"; Ripley suggested that rather John is probably blaming the particular brand of Judaism that insisted that people thinking a bit more freely and going a bit outside of tradition was very harmful. (And as he pointed out, there is some value in community cohesion that can come from insisting that everyone follow a certain path, and there was also history to make them want to think that. But of course it also has its downsides, like resulting in killing the Messiah. You know, pretty minor.)

@5778. I realized tonight that from feeling a wool sweater, sheep must really be pretty scratchy, not nearly as warm and fuzzy as they look. I also decided that "Scratchy Sheep" needs to be part or all of a title for something.

@5779. "A schedule plan for producing the prototype by the prototype demo target date (Wed Dec 31, 1969)." --listed in the HiPerCiC planning information as something you should include in your project plan

@5780. Debugging a linked list implementation while drinking some really good Earl Grey tea here. It's quite funny because I'm sitting with my tea in my hand gazing at the screen pondering the code. So I decided we could call it "C and tea." It could even become a thing.

@5781. "...but process B will never receive any output. User B will hang around the printer for years, wistfully hoping for output that never comes." --_Modern Operating Systems_

@5782. "Somebody zigged when they should have zagged on this." --RAB, referring to a broken curtain

@5784. "Never pursue efficiency at the expense of clarity. An efficient program is better than an inefficient one, of course, but it is also true that a slow, correct program is better than a fast, buggy one."
--http://www.cs.arizona.edu/~mccann/style_c.html

@5786. "Remember: sin boldly, grace abounds." --Dr. Armstrong

October 02, 2015
@5787. I was walking down the stairs in Buntrock yesterday and someone ahead of me was carrying a toner cartridge box, and I read from the side of it, "stoPrint 135 Series Toner." I did a double-take and looked closer, and it actually said "varioPrint." Close enough...

@5789. "I was just talking to one of my friends who has a girlfriend, and he says..." --#overheard in the caf

@5790. "In general, having data on a disk should be considered as safe as written notes on a wet paper napkin." --ArchWiki

@5791. "I really should be using my own erotic hand implement by now." --#overheard in the caf, hopefully incorrectly

@5793. "Pointers and arrays are different things in C, until you sneeze near an array, and then it turns into a pointer." --StackOverflow comment

@5794. The other day in IT I had to teach someone how to use the photocopier. Not the payment system -- like, he actually didn't know how to lift the top, put the page on the glass, and press the start button.

@5795. "I know they knocked a few down. As in more than one. As in multiple." --#overheard in the quad

@5796. "That's not a reason to slur the articulation down." --me

@5797. The Wimpiest Spin Cycle Known to Man

@5798. "That sounded so under pitch it hurt my heart." --#overheard in CHM

@5799. "Mellby" is misspelled in our floor's email alias...really?
Then again, I also participated in a Facebook group called "Mr. Hefner's 10th hour Phsyics" for two years, and it was about one year before I mentioned that the name of the group was misspelled. (Nobody ever changed it.) But then even worse is #2308, about the book with a misspelled title.

@5802. "I feel like whenever I talk to Heather, I get really nervous and I start doing dumb things." --Virginia

@5803. "...as you're parsing along." --RAB

@5804. "note: expected ‘struct path_directory *' but argument is of type ‘struct path_directory *'" --gcc

@5805. The Exposure Tricycle

@5806. "Let your fingers do the walking on the yulkjhnb keys." --NetHack rumor

@5807. "Python and vim. Easily confused, you know." --me

October 12, 2015
@5808. "Happy genocide of Native Americans day!" --on Columbus Day

@5809. "...But a properly written program should never get in a situation of dividing by zero, and this is one of the dumbest "Ask Slashdot" questions in a while. Masking the interrupt makes about as much sense as driving blindfolded so you don't see the people you are running over."
(Cf. #4154.)

@5812. Sing Legato: The Musical
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJ6E-GVc3S8

@5813. So I remembered that the weight of the paper in my new Leuchtturm Master notebook was described as "100g", and I was trying to figure out what that might mean. (For the record, a little bit of googling seems to suggest that it's the weight of one square meter, which seems at least plausible.) My initial thought, however, was that it was simply the weight of one sheet of paper. Not only does this not make sense because the rating of the paper would then depend on how large the sheets were, it would also mean that that Master notebook, not counting the cover, would weigh over 12 kilos!

October 14, 2015
@5814. "Or maybe you think I'm wrong too. Could be. It's statistics." --Prof. Ziegler-Graham

@5815. "I will not explain unalikeability, I do not know what unalikeability is, and you do *not* need to know this." --Prof. Ziegler-Graham

@5816. "What do I think is the best solution, or what have we done in the past?" --Rodney
("What we have done in the past" was apparently 'chmod 777 /var/www'!)

@5817. I'm apparently really, really distracted right now -- I wanted to make some tea, so I took the kettle and infuser and went out. I then went into the bathroom instead of the U-room, but figured I might as well use the bathroom, so I did. Then I went to the U-room, filled the kettle, and left without the infuser. Then I came back, set the kettle on the shelf, rinsed out the infuser and threw the tea leaves away, and went back to my room without the kettle.

Maybe next I'm going to forget to put the tea in, or put the water in the cup instead of the infuser... (I've done both before!)

@5818. "I got two tenors forte. The rest of you were mezzo-wussy." --Dr. Armstrong

@5819. "We'll do 'Glorification' next week. I have a plane to catch, and I don't want to get a ticket." --Dr. Armstrong
{BL #7276}

@5820. Two people #overheard inspecting the motivational sidewalk chalk in front of Buntrock: "Gender is a social construct!"

@5823. "A diary should find its sufficient justification in the writing of it. If the act of writing is not its own reward, then let the diary remain for ever unwritten."
--http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/09/13/the-diary-habit/

October 16, 2015
@5824. "Watch my gesture to know what beat I'm on!" --Dr. Armstrong

@5825. An Old Hosanna

@5827. "Chorale is my favorite part of the day. I don't know why, because it consists of an hour and a half of getting yelled at to sing better." --one of Mama's students

@5828. "The Halle–Keyser system has been criticized because it can identify passages of prose as iambic pentameter." --Wikipedia

@5829. I'm quite impressed at my prospective memory this evening. At lunch it failed terribly: I picked up a package from the post office right before lunch and then afterwards got all the way back to Mellby and took my sweater and socks off before I remembered. So I figured I'd just get it later, and wrote a note to do so. I subsequently forgot about it entirely -- until I was walking out of the cafeteria at dinner and actually managed to remember, "Oh, I have a package here!", and I hadn't even passed it yet, I was able to just reach over and grab it off the shelf a moment later.

@5830. PayPal is working on making it harder and harder to find what the fee was for a payment you sent someone...on the new website you now literally can't see what the actual amount you billed someone for is, you can only see the amount you received, which is really dumb and terrible accounting.

@5832. "So yeah, that was a little obnoxious." --Dr. Feldt, after I sang "vowels obnoxiously far forward" at her suggestion

October 19, 2015
@5833. "We reseeded the RAM." --report in a Helpdesk ticket of what had been done to fix a computer that wouldn't boot

@5835. There are a bunch of advertisements saying that student orgs should come to the "training session on hazing," which I have to say sounds a bit unfortunate.
(Cf. #4206.)

@5836. "This is a counting piece." --Dr. Armstrong, of "All You Works of the Lord, Praise the Lord"

@5840. Just finished the OS quiz. It included a section where you had to mark which of the goals for IPC were met by some provided example code. I was really tempted to mark all of them as "not met" and make a snarky comment because there was a typo that meant that the code wouldn't compile at all: there was an accidentally unclosed and thus nested block comment that commented out an important global variable declaration.

@5841. "...I told him, 'Unless you commit murder, you have a stunning recommendation for the rest of your life.'" --Dr. Armstrong, of a student who had jumped in to play organ at a concert when Ferg couldn't be there
{BL CB49.64}

@5843. "There's a deer up there. Hi deer! Bye deer!" --me, walking at night

@5845. "I always offered extra credit for people who could graph in six dimensions, and one time someone tried to take me up on it, so I stopped doing that." --Prof. Ziegler-Graham

@5846. "Oh yes, it's some sort of cheetah having a monocle." --Prof. Whitlatch, answering a question about some piece of art

@5847. "So if someone's your guest, you can't kill him." --Prof. Whitlatch

@5848. Apparently every Green Bay Packers game since 1960 has been sold out. That's truly impressive...

@5849. For any formal effectively generated theory T including basic arithmetical truths and also certain truths about formal provability, if T includes a statement of its own consistency then T is inconsistent.
--Gödel's 2nd Incompleteness Theorem

@5850. "If you'd rather not hear something, planting a listening device near it is not the most obvious strategy." --Lowering the Bar

@5852.
But I like this [ordinance] a lot better:

> 10.36.050 Failure to disburse
>
> A person is guilty of failure to disburse when such person remains at the
> scene of a riot, disorderly conduct or an unlawful assembly after having
> been ordered to disburse by a law enforcement officer.... Any person who
> fails to disburse shall be guilty of a misdemeanor.

[...]

Did they obviously mean to criminalize a failure to *disperse*? Sure. Am I going to ignore it for that reason? Nope.
--Lowering the Bar

October 24, 2015
@5854. "Language is so unprecise!" --Mama

@5855. "Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration." --Stan Kelly-Bootle
{BL #10773}

@5857. "Problem with the police font" --#ankiforums post about a problem with the subscript button making text smaller after backspacing the subscript

@5858. "The main problem with NFU is that it is like an elephant: it never forgets anything." --_Modern Operating Systems_

@5859. "The difference between Christmas Festival recorded and Christmas Festival live is the difference between looking at a picture of a beautiful woman and marrying her and making love to her." --me
{BL #6257}

@5861. "Wait. You fixed git and it only took you two hours? You guys are good!" --RAB, after John and I spent basically the entire HiPerCiC class and lab getting his git repository to sync with stogit
(Cf. #5728.)
{BL CB38.13}

@5862. "Don't even think about the 's'. If a couple people forget, it'll be perfect." --Dr. Hibbard

@5863. "SXSW Cancels Panels On Harassment Due To Harassment" --Slashdot headline

@5865. "And of course, I didn't respond. Why? Because I have no fucking clue. If you don't have any idea what to do with yourself, what makes you think some jackass with a website would? I'm a writer, not a fortune teller." --http://markmanson.net/passion

October 28, 2015
@5866. "Filter anything that's from Hawken, and archive it and then delete it, because screw him!" --Virginia

@5869. "That's a beautiful mezzo-soprano." --Dr. Hibbard, trying to describe a dynamic level

@5872. "Never trust a conductor. Count." --Dr. Hibbard

@5877. Here's a good trivia question, from #2600: Is it possible to finish an American football game with a single point?
Answer: Yes, although only in college football: while going for an extra point or two-point conversion, if the offense were to retreat more than 97 yards into their own end zone and then fumble the ball out or be tackled in it, the defense would score a one-point safety.

@5878. "The mass choir caf-pocalypse is upon us. If you don't want to eat dinner with half the school, avoid 6:30 dinner on Mondays and Wednesdays from now until forever." --student happenings newsletter

@5879. "And there the mester ratted." --me, for "matter rested"

@5880. Right now in the passage between Rolvaag and Buntrock, there's a display by the College Republicans, and for a brief time there were a number of signs that read, "Please don't vandalize our display -- we hate Donald Trump too!" But after a day they were gone; I don't know if they got removed by vandals or if the signs were themselves vandalism or what.

@5881. "I may take a nap today, by myself." --Siri, after being told by Andrew that today (her birthday) was National Hermit Day and that one of the suggested activities was to take a nap
(cf. #4942)

@5882. "...as though you're wrapping that most beautiful child. He hasn't pooped yet, he hasn't screamed yet." --Dr. Armstrong

@5883. "Sorry it's a non-tech description but that's me." --#ankiforums
{BL #6114}

@5885. "One of the best things about being an autonomous adult is buying only the Halloween candy you like." --Annika

@5886. "[Unix is] not aimed at making things easy; it's aimed at making things possible."
--http://www.over-yonder.net/~fullermd/rants/winstupid/2
{BL #6176}

@5887. "When we type a few characters in the Notepad text editor, saving this to a file will trigger 26 system calls, including 3 failed open attempts, 1 file overwrite and 4 additional open and close sequences." --qtd. in _Modern Operating Systems_ (302)

@5888. "While a user may be unhappy if one of his files is ruined in a crash, he is likely to be far more unhappy if the whole file system is lost." --_Modern Operating Systems_

@5889. "On what street did you lose your childlike sense of wonder?" --"Nihilistic Security Questions"

@5890.
CANINE REGULATIONS
* Must be on leashes
* Must be licensed
* Must pick up defecation by owners
(Cf. #249.)
{BL #11471}

@5892.
Reminds me of a friend of mine who used to check if a pointer was NULL, then if it was not and finally for other cases:

@@@
if (!p) {
    ...
} else if (p) {
    ...
} else {
    ...
}
@@@

His reasoning: the compiler could have a bug and this way you would catch that bug.
--Slashdot comment

@5893.
<ProzacElf> BEARS DON'T USE CURRENCY!

@5894. "I'll be giving you messages with my conducting, like 'don't breathe there.'" --JBobb

@5895. "Altos, put on your bossy matriarch. But loving." --JBobb

@5896. "I think it's the moon reflecting off a thumbtack." --me, trying to figure out what the bright light reflected in my eyes was

@5897. "That's one of the erotic -- errata." --Dr. Armstrong

November 04, 2015
@5898. "The IG's office itself last appeared here in June when it released a report entitled 'TSA Can Improve Aviation Worker Vetting,' which I thought was something of an understatement given the finding that TSA had in fact cleared 73 people who were on the terrorist watchlist at the time." --Lowering the Bar

@5899. "You remove the bear trap from the hunter."

@5900. There was a study in the news recently that stated that perhaps cats are really lions at heart and secretly want to kill us. I had the random thought some time after reading that this seems an awful lot like Freud's theories...but for cats.

@5901. Armstrong was talking during rehearsal the other day about how he hates conducting in two. Which seems a bit odd, but then I was idly half-conducting in front of the mirror in the practice room last night and I realized that it really is quite awkward in many ways, comparatively. Not that I really know anything significant about conducting besides a basic awareness of beats and patterns and the kinds of things that you're supposed to do, but I can see where he's coming from.

@5902. Today was supposed to be 71 degrees and sunny, but it turned out to be a high of about 65 and dreadfully gray, and more like 59 most of the day. I was going to my voice lesson at 11 and met Armstrong coming down the steps of HOM as I was about to go up to them, and as I approach wearing a light short-sleeved shirt, he proclaims, "So you believed the lie!"

@5903. "This isn't your grandmother's St. Olaf Choir." --Dr. Armstrong, about our singing of "Ride On, King Jesus"

@5904. "It's our dear friend the tritone." --Dr. Armstrong
(See 2014 tour book...)

@5906. "Came in to post the same thing. Beyond asking 'What color is this,' the most annoying thing is when people ask you something obvious like 'SO WHAT COLOR IS GRASS THEN!?' like they are going to trip you up. It's green, you fucking moron. Even if I could only see black and white I'd have heard what color it is." --comment on Gizmodo

@5907. "Oh that's it. I'm supposed to know the literary source that I want to write about. And I don't." --me, finally remembering the thing I woke up knowing I had to remember (but not actually *remembering* it) 

@5908. "Nowadays, women can kill using anything they want [not just poison]. #progress!" --Prof. Whitlatch

@5910. "Yes. She's suffering from penis envy, so she killed all these people." --Prof. Whitlatch, of Medea

@5911. "So, when we talk about randomness in statistics, and when I talk about randomness in general, because I'm annoying..." --Prof. Ziegler-Graham

@5914. "+1 for you, -100 for the guy that decided to use a capital P and not put some sort of warning in there if you specify a port after lower case p..."
--StackOverflow comment on the answer that explained why ssh was working but scp wasn't (ssh uses -p to specify port, scp uses -P)

@5915. Just managed to completely lock myself out of the shell on Karina by placing `exec bin/karimenu` at the end of my bashrc (because I wanted to show the menu instead of the shell when I logged in...but this meant choosing the "shell" option from the menu also triggered the menu). Even better, I couldn't log in as root to fix it because I'd symlinked root's bashrc to my own. I ended up having to boot from the rescue disk to comment that line out.

@5916. "linux run code in bashrc only after i[ntercourse]" --Google autocomplete suggestion

@5917. Just installed a font by extracting a tarball into the root directory. I feel like that's not what I was supposed to do, but then...it did *work*.

@5918. A Mr. Kopf rule I don't think I've mentioned: the 24-Hour Rule, which states that for 24 hours after a performance you believe and act as if your performance was the best thing anyone has ever done. After that you can get realistic again and start thinking about how you can improve in the future.

@5920. "If anyone does not wish to have people view his Web pages through links from other pages, he has a simple remedy: DON'T PUT UP A WEB SITE. If you do choose to gain the benefits of putting up a Web site, then DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE WAY IT WORKS." --Slashdot comment on an EU proposal to make links eligible for copyright protection

@5921. Mama was telling me about a story Tim told her, or maybe this last part was a made-up example, in which he couldn't seem to get his students to understand the difference between symbolism and the literal events of the story not being true. One student begins an "interpretation": "Maybe he didn't *really* go through the door...".

@5922. Apparently someone from the Department of Homeland Security came to Trinity and told us that we needed to take the stage curtains down because they were a fire hazard. A reasonable compromise was eventually reached. But why the hell is the Department of Homeland Security inspecting churches for fire hazards? Do they seriously not have better things to do? (Cf. #4069.)

@5924. Chamomile Contamination

@5926. DUMB: Disasters Usually Motivate Backups

@5927. Choral Day. I'm tired now, but it was pretty good. Also, first OC concert. That was cool. Yes, these kinds of sentences are about how I feel right now.

@5928. "Lernen" --both the subject and body of an #ankiforums post

@5929. "Sent from Paper Party Cup attached to Long String" --email signature

@5930. Prof. Whitlatch had an idea for our short paper that I want to think about some more; she said:
Is there something mythy about *any* creative work?

@5932. "It's not initiation, it's a welcoming, because you can't haze, you know? And we might get our season canceled." --#overheard in the quad (phone conversation)

@5933. "Gender up."

@5934. "You don't sound like elephants in the room. You sound like little...dancing reindeer." --Dr. Armstrong

@5935. "Rich and full, not butt-ugly angry." --Dr. Armstrong

@5936. "Can you not sound like ninja turtles in heat now?" --Dr. Armstrong

@5937. Period Ensemble to Perform "Clapping Music" Using Steve Reich's Original Hands

@5938. Someone left himself logged in on a CS lab computer, so I edited his .cshrc to display the message "You've been hacked! Might want to make sure you log out next time..." on shell startup. ("Because I'm classy," as I told Jon, I also printed a second line explaining how to make the message go away!)

I told Hawken about it, and he told me that last time he was in a similar situation, he went in and aliased at least a dozen commands -- cd, emacs, vi, nano, cp, etc. -- to 'ls'. Oddly, he never heard anything further about it!

Ah yes, messing with people who forget to log out is a time-honored tradition.

@5939. "Recalibrating a disk makes a funny noise but otherwise normally is not disturbing." --_Modern Operating Systems_

@5942. "When I'm reading poetry, I use fancy words, like 'recalcitrant.'" --me

@5943. "I have a hole in my wall too, and I need to fix it." --#overheard in the vestibule of the library

@5944.
I took your advice and started working from home with Google, but now I have a problem: I'm making so much money that my house is overflowing with gold coins. I've been trapped in this room for days as the coins have been piling up outside the door. Yesterday the muffled screams of my family finally stopped. While I am crushed by the loss, I am relieved that their suffering is at long last over.

I understand if rescue is impossible, but please try to warn others about working from home with Google.

Oh, god, the coins are coming through the keyhole! They've found a way inside! This is it. At least I'll get to see my family again soon.
--Lifehacker comment, responding to a spam post

@5947. From my Facebook page a while back:
Transcribing notes about a dream that I recorded in the middle of the night. This is probably the biggest non sequitur I've ever typed:

"She had a feeling we would find dead bodies or skeletons or something up there, and we really didn't want to discover them there. So they didn't bring a recording home for us, but of course we could still form playlists."

November 15, 2015
@5948. "I'll see if I can find a recording of a non-fishy choir singing it." --me, looking for a recording on YouTube

@5949. R is known for providing helpful errors.......not. Today I tried to merge two datasets, but provided the names of columns that did not exist to tell it how to merge. The resulting error? "'by' must specify a uniquely valid column." I spent at least twenty minutes trying to figure out why the hell I was getting this despite the fact that the columns *were* uniquely valid...they didn't *exist* because I named them wrong. Tell me that for heaven's sake R.

@5950. "Ideally, women should not smoke before, during, or after pregnancy." --Wikipedia

@5951. "So yes, keeping a dream journal is important, so ignore my example and keep up the recording!" --after a paragraph on how he doesn't

@5952. "Sorry...whenever I'm coding, my language goes to hell." --Emma

@5953. Heroic Tmux

@5958. "Their major conclusion was that one should not use duct tape to seal ducts." --Wikipedia report on research

@5963. Note: palette entry 7 in Solarized is the string constant color.

@5964. -bash: /usr/bin/tmux: cannot execute binary file
That's not a great sign...

@5965. /sbin/reboot: 1: /sbin/reboot: Syntax error: word unexpected (expecting ")")

@5966. Today Donald Trump suggested that Muslims in America should have to register in a national database, and we should consider shutting down mosques.

How can we forget so fast?
{BL CB41.67}

@5967. "5 observations deleted due to missingness" --R

@5969. "You'd get *shot* if you did this in the St. Olaf Choir today." --me, listening to a 1941 recording of them
(That said, it's not *bad*, I rather like it actually. It's just a completely different style, with swooping and stuff.)

@5970. "Despite repeated pleading, begging, and distributed copies of Edward Tufte tracts, they refused to listen to reason." --Lifehacker comment

@5974. 'Cause you start out stealing songs / Then you're robbing liquor stores / And sellin' crack and running over schoolkids with your car...
--"Don't Download This Song", Weird Al Yankovic

I *love* this song, it's so wonderfully and ridiculously sarcastic, and it manages to not be bad music either.

@5975.
Being half-British myself, I think if pushed I could probably be equally annoying about tea if presented with a bag of Lipton's and lukewarm water in a styrofoam cup during a tea emergency.* Fortunately, I know that US tea is not up to my expectations, so I try not to put myself in a situation where I will go on a tea rant to someone just trying to get through their shift.

* Tea emergencies can include but are not limited to: something bad happened; something good happened; something might happen soon but I'm waiting to see; it is the afternoon; it is the morning; something reminded me of tea; there is a social gathering that requires tea.

November 27, 2015
@5977. "The results also reinforce something that Nielsen wrote in 1997 after his first study of online reading. 'How do users read on the web?' he asked then. His succinct answer: 'They don't.'" --_The Shallows_

@5978. "But there's a problem with our new, post-Internet conception of human memory. It's wrong." --_The Shallows_
I love me a direct accusation of bullshit now and then...

@5979. "Last edited... Reason: Spelled 'that' and 'in' wrong!"

@5980. Another useful thing to remember from _The Shallows_, as a programmer/designer: the more helpful the software is, the less good people get at doing tasks.

@5981. "My biggest gripe about systemd, though, is its counterpart in crime: journald. Binary log files are the work of the devil and journald needs to die in a fire."

Agreed...I don't care much about systemd versus init as a desktop Linux user, but not being able to look at files in /var/log is just stupid. And I don't give a damn whether I can "easily reformat" my log files unless I'm running a pretty complicated sysadmin job. I just want to look at the damn log file without wasting my time when something goes wrong.

@5982. "It's pretty funny that making a backup caused me to lose data..." --me

@5986. "if someone's answer to 'do you admit to bashing your husband's head in with a hammer?' is 'no, it was a pair of combination pliers actually' you can be reasonably sure that she's guilty." --Found Objects, from Irina's snippets file

@5987. "Don't fill the space with sound. Fill the space with space. Or with grace." --Dr. Hibbard
{BL 6190}

@5988. "Equal opportunity consonants!" --Dr. Hibbard

@5992. "Be a lean clean singing machine." --Dr. Hibbard (regularly)

@5993. "There are a couple of you who think sliding portamento is artistic. It sucks. Don't do it." --Dr. Armstrong

November 29, 2015
@5994. "U is seldom useful in practice, but is often accidentally pressed instead of u, so it is good to know about." --Vim wiki

@5995. "If F. Melius drank during Prohibition, I can text during rehearsal." --#overheard behind me in Ole Choir during mass choir/orchestra rehearsal
{BL #8199}

@5998. "I like your sweater." / "I like you." --#overheard between two young women during a rehearsal break

@6000. It's number 6000! Another RT milestone of sorts.

@6002. Frustrated Gunman Can't Believe How Far He Has To Drive To Find Nearest Planned Parenthood Clinic

@6004. "Because he [Odysseus] is clever, and she [Athena] finds that attractive. I swear, if she weren't a virgin goddess...that would have happened." --Prof. Whitlatch

@6005. "That's what I do, I listen to NPR, because I'm a middle-aged woman." --Prof. Ziegler-Graham

@6006. "In Jung's view, his results fortuitously imitate astrological expectation and therefore constitute a synchronistic phenomenon. The archetypal background to this synchronicity he finds indicated by the lively interest taken in the experiment by himself and his co-worker. Rejecting as primitive and regressive the hypothesis of magical causality, he concludes that if the connecting principle between astrological expectation and the results obtained is not causal, it must consist in meaning."
Very interesting: http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/ciencia/ciencia_synchronicity05.htm

@6007. "Vladimir Poutine" --spotted typo on a forum

@6008. "This is a very personal activity that one does not do while eating a piece of pizza and checking Facebook." --on finding a personal liminal symbol

December 02, 2015
@6015. "You sounded more like kick-ass shepherds." --Dr. Armstrong
(This begins some backlog from PB, not in any particular order.)

@6016. "Most of you, hopefully, will be going into something useful rather than academia." --Prof. Whitlatch

@6017. "Are you trying to waterboard him?" --#overheard in the caf

@6018. "It feels a little bit like the Israelites wandering in the wilderness." --JBobb

@6019. "Seizures are more common than commuting by public transportation." --an ad on the side of a bus
The ad was advocating for seizure treatment, but I think you could also make it advocate for public transportation...

@6020. I'm remembering a Mr. Kopf story which he used to tell us that we should always listen to a piece that we were supposed to play for an audition at some point in the practice process. He arrived at an audition and started playing the first excerpt, and at the first note the person listening cried out loudly. He jumped, of course. He had started playing the excerpt as if it were in major, but it was actually in minor. He had never noticed the mistake in practice.

If I remember right, the audition still went fairly well. But man.

@6024. While rehearsing the beginning of "Rise Up, Shepherds, and Follow", somebody somehow dropped an 's' in by mistake, resulting in a very clear statement of "leave your sheeps and leave your lambs." Everyone laughed.

@6026. "We used to quip that 'password' is the most common password. Now it's 'password1.' Who said users haven't learned anything about security?" --Bruce Schneier
(Cf. #2141.)

December 04, 2015
@6027. "I'm sorry, did you say you're trying to send an email through *Microsoft Word*?" --#overheard at the Helpdesk

@6030. For the first time ever, I had the idea that I should take some ibuprofen *before* I went to the performance and sat on the bleachers and made my back ache. And it worked miracles -- it wasn't like feather-bed comfy, but it was only very mild discomfort.

Cf. #4734 for other brilliant Christmas Festival things discovered only late in one's career.

@6033. "How many birds are there?" --article title, quoted by Randall as his favorite journal article of all time

December 05, 2015
@6034. "Now only 50% off!" --advertisement

@6036. "extra-cirricular writings"

@6037. (42) Jesus said, "Become passers-by."
--The Gospel of Thomas

I'm not entirely sure what to make of this, but it's very interesting. Perhaps it suggests paying attention to the potential wisdom of others?

@6038. (113) His disciples said to him, "When will the kingdom come?"
<Jesus said,> "It will not come by waiting for it. It will not be a matter of saying 'here it is' or 'there it is.' Rather, the kingdom of the father is spread out upon the earth, and men do not see it."

Cf. in particular #5301, #6723.

@6040. I've always said I didn't really like the F. Melius Beautiful Savior that much. I think I'm starting to come around.

@6041. "It was a lot of singing, yes." --#overheard in the Mellby lounge, about Christmas Festival

@6043. "Look to the east where golden dawn / Its smoothing presence brings" --2015 Christmas Festival program
Cf. #2824.
{BL #8834}

@6046. Study Finds Majority Of Accidental Heroin Overdoses Could Be Prevented With Less Heroin

@6048. Instead of "by the end of the day today": "by the end of the today."
I actually rather like this!

@6049. "EEG of a mouse"
This caption is somehow funny in itself.

@6050. "Someone broke into our home and stole our toaster."
--http://adequateman.deadspin.com/hot-wiring-a-car-and-other-tales-of-the-worst-trouble-1746639845

@6051. "the deadliest balloon accident in history"

@6052. "It's always good to know what you're writing before you write it." --RAB

@6053. "That was a little sexual." --#overheard in the basement of Skoglund

@6054. "Booker is the first Newark mayor in 50 years not to be indicted." --news article

@6055. "This is one of those meaningless ones...Why the fuck did you use statistics for that?" --me, about my own analysis

@6057. "I've gotten emails, sent emails, where the period was just left off in places, usually by accident. And it meant nothing, except, that we forgot the period."
--Lifehacker comment on an article about how periods in text messages can make you seem insincere or abrupt

@6058.
"How does copyright law apply to a photo of a chair?"
"I mean you can't even take a picture of a fucking chair? That's seriously impressive. That's really an American level of stupid. Congrats!"
--Ars Technica comments, http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2015/12/you-may-soon-need-a-licence-to-take-photos-of-that-classic-designer-chair-you-bought/

@6059. "Taking off is optional; landing is mandatory."

@6060. "Dreams seem to be too difficult to analyze, and we are afraid that we will miss the point of a dream or misinterpret. But can you imagine being afraid to go to a movie because of a fear that you couldn't figure it out? I cannot imagine someone saying, "Well, I don't want to see Ghostbusters because I might not understand all the symbols." We're not afraid - we just go and enjoy the movie. If we can analyze the symbols, that's fine, and it will add to our appreciation of the movie. But it would be sad to avoid the experience of the movie for fear of not being able to analyze the symbols. Don't let a feeling of a need for sophistication make you miss out on your dreams."
--http://www.creativespirit.net/henryreed/seminars/dreamtext2.htm

@6061. "In 2013, a woman named Sharai Mawera was mauled and killed by a lion in Zimbabwe during intercourse; (she was having sex with a human, not the lion)."
--Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_during_consensual_sex

That's the most I've laughed in quite a while. Yay parenthetical-loving editors!

Update: Sadly, that parenthetical has been removed. Not like it was necessary, but it was certainly *funny*.
{BL #9257}

@6063.
<ChrisE> The 'dead' intrinsic still seems fairly easy to come by.
<ChrisE> In fact, if anything easier than before.

@6065. "Later, Schneier would carry two bottles labeled saline solution -- 24 ounces in total -- through security. An officer asked him why he needed two bottles.  'Two eyes,' he said. He was allowed to keep the bottles."

@6067.
< Spontiff\PoF> 'An uncursed scroll called sack'
< Spontiff\PoF> Hmmm
< ais523> I'd say it's a safe bet that that's mis-IDed
(Cf. #907.)

@6068.
<ais523> sometimes I read /usr/share/doc/*/copyright for fun

December 14, 2015
@6070. "You sound like Viking thugs right now." --Dr. Armstrong

@6071. "Don't smack the baby!" --Dr. Armstrong

@6072. "I'm really interested in a foreign language, but I *literally* suck." --#overheard in Boe

@6073. "Guns are loud." --#overheard outside the caf

@6075. "Whereas philosophers have been primarily concerned with the goals and intentions of the bullshitter, we are interested in the factors that predispose one to become or to resist becoming a *bullshittee*."
--http://journal.sjdm.org/15/15923a/jdm15923a.html

@6076. Went for a 40-minute walk and came back, my kernel is still recompiling.

@6077. "'In' is the first word [of the _Metamorphoses_]. Which means 'in.'" --Prof. Whitlatch

December 15, 2015
@6079.
<dtsund> It is my opinion that a function called zap_wand should probably not contain a variable called zap_wand.

@6080.
<+ais523> oh, wait, I just remembered something, please let me have been awake at the time
<+ais523> yay, I was
< kerio> ...wat
<+ais523> I was stuck in a bunch of recursive dreams last night
<+ais523> one of them was particularly funny, so after I woke up I wrote down what I remembered
<+ais523> on my laptop
<+ais523> and it seems I was genuinely awake and writing it, rather than dreaming I wrote it, because the file was still there
<+ais523> you were in it
<+ais523> and you asked me in the dream to look at some fanfiction you wrote
< kerio> ...WAT
<+ais523> it was pretty hilariously bad, like fanfiction normally is; the strange thing is, it wasn't fanfiction /of/ anything in particular, so just fiction I guess?
<+ais523> the plot was about an evil empire who were forcing people to eat babies (can't get more evil than that!), and how they had some sort of mostly indestructible machine, which people were trying to hit with hammers, and eventually destroyed by dousing it in petrol
<+ais523> but it had the following awesome line in (which was a total nonsequitur): "the yellowshift reached banana-custard proportions"
< kerio> how many times do i have to say "wat"?
<+ais523> I don't know
<+ais523> I mean, I was pretty surprised too

@6081.
<aaxelb> "Let us be the light in your darkness!" It explodes! You are caught in a blast of kaleidoscopic light!

@6082. Waiting for YAKC... (Yet Another Kernel Recompile)
I actually managed to implement both of the other system calls with only one recompile, everything worked the first time (except for compiler errors the second time). Not even a compiler error this time, so we'll see, *maybe* I produced working code for a more complex syscall the first time.

@6083. Load average is currently 5.17. That's what I get for recompiling a kernel, running a backup, and playing a movie at the same time. But hey, the computer's still responsive at least.

@6084. "Mein Bildnis wunderselig / Hab ich im Herzensgrund" --my memory blunder in a voice lesson

@6085. "That's a lot of money." --me, looking at a tuition bill of $9,161

@6086. "You don't want somebody sitting in the [Oval Office] chair, spinning around going, 'Gee, whiz, isn't it great to be president?' You want somebody who's going to...understand from the first minute he sits in that chair that this is serious business." --Chris Christie, on Donald Trump

@6087. Terrified Jeb Bush Beginning To Fade From Visual Spectrum

@6088. 67 tabs open right now. I've done worse.
Also though, when Mozilla takes tab groups out of Firefox I have no idea what I'm going to do, this would be utter chaos without tab groups.

@6089. So I was very puzzled because I started randomly getting an error "redeclaration with no linkage" for a whole ton of variables in code that was working before making entirely unrelated changes. Turns out I accidentally copied and pasted a section of code several times.

@6090. "I am getting good at using C. That's an oxymoron." --me

@6091.
In the last decade, terrorists killed 17,981 people per year on average worldwide. Dogs kill an average of 25,000 people per year worldwide. We know the enemy, but our president refuses to speak its name: radical canine terrorism. We cannot continue to allow these dogs to come pouring into our country. We cannot have a country without borders, and rabid baby killing dogs are infiltrating our country disguised as friendly refugee dogs. We need to keep the bad ones out, and that means we need to stop allowing any dogs in until our stupid leaders figures out what's going on. Can you be sure that the dog in your home hasn't been corrupted by the rabid baby-killing ideology of radical canine terrorism? You can't. You need to build a cage, and it needs to be built quickly, and you need to make your dog pay for the cage. It's the only responsible way to keep your family safe.
--Benjamin Studebaker

@6092. Just tried to use 'while(t_ptr)' but the array pointed by t_ptr was not null-terminated. I then got really confused about why it was locking up on the call to pthread_join (it was trying to join to a thread with an ID of uninitialized memory).

@6093. "Segmentation fault disappears when debugging with GDB" --StackOverflow post

@6094.
Dimensions: 1.5 IN
2.48 x 2.05 x 0.55 inches

...Tell me again what exactly is one and a half inches about that?

@6095.
He thought he saw an Argument
  That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
  A Bar of Mottled Soap.
"A fact so dread," he faintly said,
  "Extinguishes all hope!"
--_Sylvie and Bruno_, qtd. in intro to _The Annotated Alice_

@6098. This has got to be one of my favorite _Alice_ sentences: "The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo."

@6099. I just noticed that my terminal cursor will blink ten times and then go solid until it moves again. It's pretty funny that I've been using these settings for years and never noticed it; but then again the cursor is quite difficult to see anyway unless you know where it is and are looking at it, and I generally like it that way.

@6100. "I literally don't understand that sentence, and I wrote it yesterday." --me

@6102. Just discovered that if you pull Scotch tape straight apart hard enough, you can break it with your fingers, fairly cleanly. Never knew this before. (The practical drawback here is that you probably have to get your fingers in the sticky stuff, which would make it less useful to apply afterwards.)

@6103. "The dream occurred sometime in the middle of the night." --me

@6104. Nuts and No Christmas

@6105. "Please confirm that you want to add the items below to your cart: There are no items to add to your cart." --Amazon, after logging in right after adding an item to my cart

December 29, 2015
@6106. "Take care of your arms. They're useful." --Dr. Peters, on prescribing treatment for my tendonitis

@6108. "Hm, this audio file seems like it contains a jpg image of a kitten, said no human ever."
--Slashdot comment on finding information in noise, humans vs. computers

January 1, 2016
@6109. I'm annoyed because since 2012 I've typed the year number using the same hand pattern: 2 on the left, 0 on the right, and then two fingers from left to right on the left. But now I can't really reach the 6 on the left -- I went "Whoa!" the first time I tried to type the number.

@6110. (Beginning writing about a collection of things in PB that I've been avoiding dealing with.)
"I'm not sure I actually argued anything at all, but I finished, so that's all that matters." --#overheard in the caf

@6111. I was listening to some prayer in Chapel the other day, and the phrase "reached out" was in it. For some reason I felt like this was wrong and it should be "roach out," and about one second after I thought that I had a very hard time not laughing out loud at myself.

@6115. After most of a day of working on my paper on myth in _Alice in Wonderland_, I went to dinner and was reading the news on my phone, and I spotted a headline that said something like "FDA wants to ban minors from tanning beds." With my _Alice_ hat on, I read it as "FDA wants to ban mirrors from tanning beds," and I even clicked through and read the first paragraph, puzzled by what kind of tanning beds used mirrors and why this would be particularly problematic, before I saw my mistake.

@6117. Papa read us an article about a woman who just got out of a DWI charge because she has "autobrewery syndrome," which is a condition in which your gut biome is off and a certain kind of yeast is in high concentration and creates alcohol in your stomach even though you haven't drunk anything. She had an absurdly high BAC, like .3 or something, despite having had only a couple of drinks, and those a few hours ago.

The article also called irritable bowel syndrome "irresistible bowel syndrome."

@6118. "A better network is better." --Tautology Cell Networks (aka Verizon)

@6119. "My water isn't usually white." --#overheard on the train

@6120. "Turmeric Indian Restaurant" --seen in Glenview

@6121. Over break I spotted a misuse of "effect" for "affect" in Mama's serger manual, and I noted that at least in that case, interpreted literally, it actually caused a reversal of the direction of causation implied. We got to thinking about it and realized that this is usually the case in this particular exchange. Thus the following which came up over lunch and which I think could be a title for something: "How Children Are Effected." (Mama commented that there are not many ways, and we know them quite well!)
{BL CB39.63,74, #8584, #10983}

@6123. I tried to plug my headphones in on the right of Karina, about where they are on Emily, and ended up trying to put them into the USB port. This managed to short something in the computer so that the screen went gray and all the lights turned out. It appears fine after a reboot, but wow, I don't feel like it should be that easy to screw something up.

@6125. "...the story of...how the seemingly simple task ended up in a cull the sac."

@6126. "The woman just in front of us, long brown hair and black jacket and trousers, was asked for the names of the Muses and could only come up with four[1], so they beat her until she knew the other five (which she didn't)." --Found Objects

@6127. "[T]he purpose of luggage is to hold your belongings, and -- perhaps surprisingly -- not that many bags do a particularly good job of this."
--http://www.onebag.com/bags.html

@6129. Nasreddin and his son were traveling towards a market town, with an ass which they had to sell. The road was bad, and the old man therefore rode, but the son went afoot. The first passenger they met asked Nasreddin if he was not ashamed to ride by himself and suffer the poor lad to wade along through the mire; this induced him to take up his son behind him. He had not traveled far when he met others, who said they were two unmerciful lubbers to get both on the back of that poor ass, in such a deep road. Upon this the old man gets off and let his son ride alone. The next they met called the lad a graceless, rascally young jackanaphs to ride in that manner through the dirt while his aged father trudged along on foot. And they said, the old man was a fool for suffering it. He then bid his son come down and walk with him, and they traveled on leading the ass by the halter; till they met another company, who called them a couple of senseless blockheads for going both on foot in such a dirty way when they had an empty ass with them, which they might ride upon. The old man could bear no longer. "My son, it grieves me such that we cannot please all these people. Let us throw the ass over the next bridge, and be no further troubled with him."
--adapted by Benjamin Franklin

@6130.
While on a trip to another village, Nasrudin lost his favorite copy of the mystical book. Several weeks later, a goat walked up to Nasrudin, carrying the book in its mouth. Nasrudin couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the goat's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"Not really," said the goat. "Your name is written inside the cover."

@6131. After working with Karina for a couple of weeks, Emily's 17" screen seems luxuriously huge. (Look Ma, I can put *two windows* on the screen side by side!)

@6132. "Command too recursive" --vim

@6133. God's Thematic Javascript
--#hypnagogia

@6134. Just learned from Gibbon (if I'm parsing/understanding correctly) that Mauritania is so called because it's the country of the Moors.

@6135. "...and has multiple series of unpooing, deconvolution, and rectification layers." --#whoopstypo in a research paper, overseen in the CS lab

@6137. Unusual materials have been used to construct pinhole cameras, e.g., a Chinese roast duck.
--Wikipedia

@6139. "Yeah yeah yeah! I'm a happy camper!" --Dr. Armstrong

@6140. "Crazy black man takes over the St. Olaf Choir!" --Dr. Armstrong, on the repertoire he did his first year

@6142. "I'm not a nerd, I'm a vegetarian!" --#overheard in the caf

@6143. The Immortal Soul Clause
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/17/gamestation-grabs-souls-o_n_541549.html

@6144. "Imagine that. Someone making fun of someone being a nerd in a CS classroom." --#overheard in the lab

@6145. "I've written one sentence so far. Well, it's really a rewording of the first sentence on stereoscopy on Wikipedia." --#overheard in the lab

@6151.
While browsing my user profile on Wikipedia, I noticed that this rather strange phrase was entered in the middle of it:

    I much prefer a cuckolding to a cod-stepper was vandalously edited into one of my webpages.

Even though I couldn't entirely understand it, I took this as an insult. Unfamiliar with the phrase "cod-stepper"--and still in the dream--I attempted to look it up in the dictionary. There was a result, and it was something like this:

    cod-stepper - noun - an unwise or unsound business proposition (Ex: "I invested $20,000 in electronic bagels. What a cod-stepper that was!")
--http://realityhandbook.org/lucid-dream/cuckolding-and-cod-steppers/

@6152. "Science isn't the problem, of course--on the contrary, it is the process that has emerged for building consensus that should be the cornerstone of respect. The problem is treating people who have experiences different than you like crap...assuming a priori that they are idiots if they can't (or don't) translate their experiences into your model."
--http://realityhandbook.org/essay/the-church-of-james-randi-scientist/

@6153. Instructor: "More properly, it is the *Chlorine-Free* United States of America."
--http://realityhandbook.org/lucid-dream/chlorine-free-united-states/

@6154. Just added an optional argument to a function to have it do only part of a transformation, then wrote the calling code and was really upset that it didn't work...to realize that I never actually changed the *function* to use said optional argument.

@6155. "Okay. Zero times anything is zero." --me

@6157. "...otherwise you may comprise the quality of your sleep."

January 14, 2016
@6158. "I don't want to put my name on any code that people would want to kill me for." --Elijah

@6159. "Heyyy! Some documentation!" --#overheard in the CS lab

@6160. "Because 'deep fish' is also a kind of pizza." --Rodney
(And he actually thought it was called that.)

@6161. Error: 'SOMETHING' was not declared in this scope

@6163. The former presiding bishop of the ELCA preached in Boe last Sunday. He told us that he's become a "Distinguished Fellow" at Augustana, and says that he's decided this means you "have some wisdom left in you before you become an *ex*tinguished Fellow."

@6164. "And on the third day God said, 'Nice try!'" --former presiding bishop of the ELCA, as above

@6165. "You have to be beautiful, sopranos. Not like you're kicking the crap out of somebody." --Dr. Armstrong

@6168. "This isn't going to be a slow Missouri Synod chorale." --Dr. Armstrong

@6169. "You can't be Presbyterian on me when you sing." --Dr. Armstrong

@6171. "Can you get me a fork and an execve?" --Jack, to someone going back to the caf line

@6172. "You know what's classic? I'm going down to the Cage to get ketchup." --#overheard on the third floor of Buntrock near the stairs

@6173. Amazon just suggested that I share with my friends that I just bought deodorant.

January 17, 2016
@6174. Watched _Inception_ again last night. While I didn't have a ton of trouble following it the first time a few years back, I definitely followed it better this time, which was nice -- only at the beginning was I confused about what was a dream. Rather, only at the beginning was I confused about what the *characters* thought was a dream; I have a new possible theory that to a certain extent Mal was right and the entire movie was a dream (or at least to the extent that the RL world is itself a dream), and there are many other confusing places. And I'm still bothered by the final scene. I read a review that suggested that Cobb stopped caring about whether it was a dream -- he leaves the totem still spinning on the table while he goes to hug his children and never comes back to it before the final cut -- and so it didn't matter so much. But I think it's crucial, maybe not to him at that moment, but in general, because if he is still dreaming, he will be doing exactly what Mal fell victim to, purposefully forgetting that things are not real, and that just feels wrong. That was why he ended up responsible for Mal's death: because he couldn't stand to live in the dream forever. And at the end of his time in obvious limbo, he dismissed Mal's spectre saying her dream identity simply wasn't real and complete enough for him; his children will necessarily be no different.

I keep going back and forth on whether the top was meant to fall. It starts wobbling harder, especially in the soundtrack, right before the final cut -- and this was presumably why my mind revised it to have fallen entirely the first time I saw it. It also wobbled while it was still starting, though. I guess the combination is why I like my theory about everything being a dream: it lets me believe that yes, he is back in his reality, but then throws in a little bit of doubt about whether *that* reality is any good.

My other big insight is that the main thriller plot is really secondary; at least for me, it's the Cobb & Mal line that really makes the story. The goal of inception is only a means to an end, and were it not for his mistake with Mal he would never have needed to do the whole thing in the first place, he would still be at home and could have given up on the extraction peacefully.

Also, I give artistic license to all the completely ridiculous constraints that have to be put on their dream machine. IMO they become believable enough because the machine can instantaneously put you under and wake you up, so it stands to reason that the dreams produced could be somewhat different than normal ones, but it still requires a substantial amount of conscious suspension of disbelief. Come to think of it, I think that many of the people who don't like the movie just aren't able to get over that (Mama was this way, I think; IIRC she got all hung up on the fact that the dream machine "couldn't exist"). Anyway, I have a big and rather obvious suggestion for improvement of the safety of the machine, should it somehow ever actually exist: put a damn eye movement sensor on it, so if one of the dreamers signals an emergency, say eight consecutive eye movements, it triggers the timer and wakes them up. (If necessary, said person could presumably disconnect the others at that point, say Cobb for Mal. Or the timer could even wake everyone.)

Oh, and in the LD-experience category I absolutely loved the moment where the boss goes lucid because the carpet is made of the wrong fiber -- not the slightest bit unbelievable as a cause, but yet really funny as well. And of course Ariadne's first moment of awakening. I'm not sure I had exactly that experience of wonder myself, but something like it.

Update: 2 days later, as silly as it is, I kind of want to see it again again now...Christopher Nolan for you.

@6176. I had a bunch of directories that had setgid but group execute missing in our ATP directory. I could not for the life of me get `find` to find directories with the setgid bit but no execute bit set, so I wound up resorting to the following:

$ for i in $(find -type d -name "*"); do ls -al $i | head -n 2 | tail -n 1 | grep '^d...rwS' > /dev/null; if [ $? -eq 0 ]; then echo $i; fi; done > rwsdirs.txt
$ chmod g+x $(cat rwsdirs.txt)

It *worked*, but man. It ain't supposed to be that hard. On the plus side it's Unix, so I was at least able to do it. (Cf. #5886.)

@6177. In keeping with Uber's business model, the pilots won't be licensed, of course. And the helicopters won't be inspected or insured. That's ok because you're not really buying a helicopter ride, you're just asking to ride along with somebody that happens to have a helicopter they found somewhere and a smartphone.
--Slashdot comment

@6178. "Overfishing Responsible for Declining Fish Population"
(No, this is not in the Onion -- Slashdot summary.)

@6179. "Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and the oceans will eventually be depleted." --comment on same article

@6180.
I have a symlink to an important directory. I want to get rid of that symlink, while keeping the directory behind it.

I tried rm and get back rm: cannot remove 'foo'.
I tried rmdir and got back rmdir: failed to remove 'foo': Directory not empty
I then progressed through rm -f, rm -rf and sudo rm -rf.

Then I went to find my back-ups.
--start of a StackOverflow post

@6182. Average [Reprojection] Error: 3.02x10^9 pixels

January 25, 2016
@6184. "The good thing is, he wasn't handsome to begin with, so..." --#overheard on tour, bus driver talking to another bus driver

@6186. "There's a weight and balance issue: the plane is tipping forward." --flight attendant on our flight to Denver

@6187. "It's like watching Dr. A drive a Ferrari, and I have a Honda Accord." --visiting choir director at the end of OC rehearsal

@6188. I've noticed that my green backpack has a very unusual and very desirable property: it is *unoverloadable*. That is, it is not possible to fit more stuff in the bag than you can comfortably carry in it. (I suppose you could probably get there by filling it with bars of lead or something. But normal circumstances here.)

@6189. "Em Assy Suites" --hotel sign, partially burned out

@6191. Near our hotel in Denver, there were a ton of churches. There were also a ton of mattress stores. Like, I don't think I'm exaggerating to say there were at least four on the 10-minute bus ride from the Saturday church to our hotel.

@6192. I noted wryly to my roommates that we can afford to stay in four-star hotels but apparently can't afford to buy choir folders that don't suck and aren't falling apart.

@6194. "My seatbelt is *securely* fastened." --#overheard behind me on the plane, someone in OC

@6196. "You're supposed to believe in the placebo!" --#overheard in the caf

@6197. "If I was the love-child of a nutcracker and a Pokemon, and then had an acid trip, this would be the soundtrack for that." --#overheard in the hall between Buntrock and Boe

@6198. Dream notes quote of the month: "Myrtle's owl cannot read in the dark a receipt (but it actually can)." (dr #1071)

@6202. The caf posted a list showing how many dishes they've lost and how much the total replacement bill comes to on the comments board...it's like $10,000 over just December and January. Come on people. Some stuff gets lost, but 1,000 forks in two months? I don't think people are intentionally stealing forks (at least, not that many of them), but the damn forks need to get back to the caf. Bring them back.

(And no. I've never taken a set of dishes from the caf and not brought them back. Ever. A handful of times I've taken dishes from the Cage and forgotten about them for some time, but even then I've always found and brought them back eventually. And I certainly haven't stolen any.)

@6203. I currently have 94 tabs open in Firefox...maybe 10-15 per group.

@6204. "Let's make this one legal." --#overheard in the quad

@6206. "Obviously these can't be absolute statements of zero risk. For example, if you take your water from a puddle with a big heap of mule poop in it, you're taking a risk." --on the need for filtering water

@6208. #hypnagogia: "a good X[org] screen waiver"

@6209. "The word 'serendipity' suddenly entered the English language at the exact moment it was needed on this day in 1754." --Wikipedia post to Facebook

@6211. I currently have an invisible cursor in my vim windows on Karina console. It's surprisingly still largely usable, but it's quite weird and rather annoying.

@6213. "Nachos! Fuck my life!" --Jack, upon seeing them on someone else's plate and finding he'd missed them

@6214. Hosanna In Excel Sheets

@6217. "Actually, I had two, but they're both broken and in New Jersey." --#overheard on the bus

@6219. No Trespassing / Except Persons with Motor Vehicles in Garage
--sign in a Lincoln, Nebraska parking garage

@6220. "We can't change the world, but we can make the part of the world we live in more beautiful." --Dr. Armstrong

@6221. "The salmon was, like, really awesome." --Dr. Armstrong, to our hosts

@6222. "We -- the royal we -- want you to get a good night's sleep." --Jean

@6224. While dropping off our stuff in the dressing room before rehearsal:
Someone: "Are we robing?"
Erik: "No, we're just throwing crap."

Someone then attempted to write "Throwing Crap" on the board, and we told everyone else who poked their head in that we were "just throwing crap."

@6235. Today Dr. A was getting frustrated because it sounded like the sopranos singing the descant on "It is Well With My Soul" were coming in a beat early, and we redid it several times with them swearing they were coming in on time. Eventually it turned out that we were just singing so perfectly in tune and the space was so right that the octave overtone sounded so loud we thought they were singing it.
{BL CB40.75}

@6237. I am currently attempting to use a CS lab computer from Nebraska. To do this I am accessing the Internet over a 3G data connection, then bouncing through Lillian (in Indiana), Emily (in my dorm room), and only then the actual CS lab computer. It took about 15 seconds to get a prompt, and there's about a half-second lag. But it works.

February 01, 2016
@6238. "He's in the bathroom tying his bus." --me, of Charlie tying his tie in the bus bathroom

@6239. "And I know to love my vulva!" --in a discussion about the "Biology of Women" class

@6243. "Title Loans Up to $10,000 / No Title Needed" --seen in the window of a payday loan shop
(No, I don't know what that means.)

@6247. "Unlawful to Back Into Parking Spaces" --posted in a parking lot in Topeka
I'm puzzled by this, as according to AAA it's actually safer to back into a space. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense that it'd be illegal.

@6249. Also saw a school bus where someone had removed some of the letters so that it read "COOL BUS."

@6250. "No Public Restrooms" --sign at a toll booth in Kansas

@6254. "I hated when you did that to me in Norway. Don't do it now!" --Laina

@6255. This is exactly what the sign I saw in Oklahoma City said. I was certain there had to be letters missing, but I checked carefully and there were not:
aloft / a vision of w hotels

@6257. Tanner told me that last night an older couple came to the concert at Baylor, but balked when they found out the ticket price. "THIRTY DOLLARS!?" they yelled across the room. They then decided to buy a CD instead of going to the concert, because that would cost only twenty dollars and they could play it many times. "For that," the man says, "we can go out to dinner and listen to the CD, and still listen to the CD over and over afterwards!"
(Cf. #5859. Also stands for Ole Choir.)

I can't entirely decide if this is hilarious or sad.

@6258. "I just wanted to have a conversation about your eyebrows, that's all." --#overheard on the bus

@6260. Just passed a large trailer that contained probably 20 bags of something labeled "Antlers Plus Deer Nutrition."

@6266. "Were you hit by an 18-wheeler? Call [us] today!" --Super Bowl commercial

@6267. "...And the ball squirts all the way down inside the five." --announcer

@6268.
Referee: "Plus please put one second on the game clock."

This is one of the weirdest football games I've ever watched, but still enjoyable. Among other bizarre things, Denver went 1 for 13 on third down conversions, but still managed to win by 14 points.

@6271. "I don't know, shoulders are pretty promiscuous." --Sebastian

@6272. "I bet God wears a pencil skirt." --Sebastian

@6274. Gas was $1.30 in one place we went through. This is getting *crazy*.

@6275. Slaughter Lane

@6278. I currently have no cell service. I'm not sure I've actually seen that message in all the time I've had this iPhone -- Verizon is pretty good!

February 11, 2016
@6281. "I like it when there's cream cheese on my face." --#overheard at breakfast (another choir member)

@6282. "And she caressed the printer." --#overheard in a hallway

@6283. "I stole this hanger from the Dallas Symphony Orchestra." --someone in the dressing room, the day after his had broken and he had indeed taken one from the concert hall
{BL CB47.48 n.1}

@6285. Someone on the bus yesterday started receiving his brother's texts, including several of a romantic (if PG) nature!

February 13, 2016
@6287. In the Kaufmann Center there was a printout that someone had made from a Craigslist post they found. It was for a bassist in the area, with "some restrictions." These included that he can only play G, C, and D ("If your songs are in other keys, please transpose them to G." -- "no funny chords like Am and Em" -- "or you can pay me $30 per note to learn other notes"), he needs someone to come pick him up for the gig unless it is directly along a public bus route, and he can't have any gigs that go past 11:00 at night or within 500 yards of a church, playground, or school.

@6288. At a Wendy's we stopped at the other day, they had an electronic fountain drink dispenser. Like, there was a touch screen that you used to choose what drink you wanted it to dispense. You could filter the drinks by things like whether there was caffeine in it and how much sugar it had by pressing buttons. No, I am not kidding; apparently having spouts for all the drinks and pressing your cup against the one you want has become too difficult and requires a computer to improve.

@6291. "So I just want to take a few moments before we get changed to go over the...tornado plan." --OC member in the men's dressing room, brandishing the emergency plans for the room

@6294. On the way into St. Louis I saw a sign on the highway with the rather ominous message "LAST REST AREA IN MISSOURI."

@6295. "Ballasted Flocculation System" --seen on the back of a semi truck

@6296. Echo got confused and told everyone on bus 1 (I was on 2) that Peebles, a store near where we stopped for lunch today, was a grocery store and had a deli and would be a good place to grab something for lunch. I then followed some people who were walking in that direction and asked them where they were going, and they said, "Peebles." I assumed they were joking or something, being able to see from where I was, looking at the window, that it was *not* a grocery store or restaurant. Then someone at the head of the group stopped and turned around, shaking their head.

Person 1: "It's closed?"
Person 2: "It's a clothing store."

I still can't stop laughing about this.

@6300. I listened to the Simon & Garfunkel "Homeward Bound" today. I really should have done it a couple of days ago when we all wanted to go home and weren't doing it yet, and I had even thought about it, but I never really got around to it. It's cool because I liked the song before, but now I can really identify with it so much more. You have to have been on tour yourself to really get it I think.

@6301. First, was the alligator "likely [to] cause death or great bodily harm when used in the ordinary and usual manner contemplated by its design"? That question seems to have religious overtones. Cf. William Blake, The Tyger, in Songs of Experience (1794) ("Tyger Tyger, burning bright, / In the forests of the night; / What immortal hand or eye, / Could frame thy fearful symmetry?") Assuming the courts mean a human designer, then we may conclude that this prong of the definition is simply inapplicable to alligators.
--Lowering the Bar

February 16, 2016
@6302. I realized at some point on tour that I may well have performed for longer on tour than I have in the rest of my life up to this point -- I mean, ~2 hours a night 18 times makes 36 hours of performance. Performance time is just really scarce for everyone but professional musicians.

@6304. I'm remembering a story from a past year that someone retold during a devo this tour, quite similar to #4723 but more powerful owing to circumstance. Someone came up to Armstrong after a concert. He was terminally ill and probably only had a few weeks. And he said something like this: "I don't know what heaven is like. But if it's anything like this, I'm ready to go."

@6305.
> It amazes me that most American still believe their government's official story of 9/11. Elsewhere in the world, people generally accepted the US government blew up their own buildings.

Yeah, it's not like we saw terrorists fly planes into buildings on almost-live TV or anything. And it's not like we saw the government drop a collective load when it happened, generally looking like idiots for not being able to sniff out the plot or stop them despite plenty of warning signs. It's not like we heard first-hand from very brave eyewitnesses that tried to commandeer a fourth plane that was likely destined to hit the white house or capitol building. And it's not like any terrorists organizations claimed credit for the attack.

I think the most damning bit of counter-evidence is the fact that it would require some crazy level of competence and cunning to successfully pull off the most audacious false flag operation in the history of humankind. That doesn't remotely begin to describe the federal government I know.

I mean, hell, they can't even hack into a locked iPhone.
--Slashdot comment

@6306.
If you are using a Mac, the command you use to back up is this:
$ sudo rsync -vax --delete --ignore-errors / /Volumes/Backup/
If you're using Linux, it's something a lot like that. If you're using Windows, go fuck yourself.
--https://www.jwz.org/doc/backups.html
{BL #9034}

@6307. Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use regular expressions." Now they have two problems.
--https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Jamie_Zawinski

@6308. "Wow, that's impressive." --me, of my own software, doing something I'd forgotten it did
{BL #7267}

@6309. I was just watching a stream from the St. Olaf website and accidentally closed Firefox. Unlike YouTube, the player that it uses doesn't save your place when this happens. So I opened it back up and jabbed a random spot on the time bar which I thought would be roughly in the right place -- and it was literally *exactly* the right place, like, the soloist was still on THE SAME NOTE as before.

Sort of like the book angel phenomenon, I suppose, and all in all not *that* improbable, but still pretty amazing.

@6311. Found the entry "Small Cave" under the "People" category in RPPAS...

@6314. "Hi Dear" --#ankiforums salutation

@6315. Super Bowl Halftime Show Marred By Functioning Sound System

@6319. "It is overwhelmingly more common to book tickets with airlines that exist, rather than airlines that have ceased to exist." --Stack Exchange comment

@6321. Quora question: "Is Finland a real country?"
Many answers are priceless, but this is my favorite:

> I am from Finland. But on the other hand, I am a solipsist.
> Thus, Finland exists when I am there or when I can actually see Finland.
> However, I currently reside in Brooklyn. Therefore, Finland does not exist at the moment.
> That's OK, though, as you do not exist, either.

@6322. "So loudly that we can complete in a single language editor to have Enki" --#ankiforums
(I don't have a clue what this machine-translated question is asking.)

@6325. "The Parking Office has moved to the Business Office." --posted in front of the door of the old Parking Office

@6326. "I have 'people' turned off [in Tabularium]. That would tend to make it hard to find people." --me

February 22, 2016
@6327. Just realized, amusingly, that the majority of the composers who did *not* come hear us perform their piece on choir tour are dead! (Even stranger, all of the ones who are alive and didn't come were in the fifth set.)

@6330. "We're so sorry. How about we show you one of our dogs? [dog picture]" --bottom of a 404 error page

@6332. "'Glory and praise' trash." --YouTube comment on the OC version of "It Is I, Lord"

@6333. "Someone I know is here someplace too." --at the end of dream notes on a dream in which I was with the St. Olaf Choir

@6334. "Due to the inclimate weather conditions..." --email from church

@6340. "Somethin' about glass." --me, after skimming a difficult Latin paragraph

@6342. "As you young people go out into the world, there are two things I want to warn you against--Methodism and Socialism." --pastor of F. Melius

@6343. "It would be weird to talk about God getting converted." --Prof. Brunelle

@6344. "I like to keep my money. I like to keep my freedom. Two very basic things in America." --Prof. Lane-Getaz

February 29, 2016
@6348. Did you hear the Russians launched a bunch of cows into low earth orbit? It was the herd shot around the world.

@6349. "Oh God, that was emotional!" --#overheard in the quad

@6350. "There are approximate[ly] 27 rear-end accidents per 100 miles traveled in Maryland." --https://www.millerandzois.com/presumption-negligence-rear-end-accident.html
Somehow I don't think that's quite right. Or else Maryland drivers should all have their licenses revoked.

@6351. "What slept with on" --the actual title of a data table for presentation
This reminds me of the anecdote in Cross's _Indexing Books_ (p. 63), about an index entry that read "diet, anus, artificial, patients with, for."

@6353. I very nearly tripped over a "Caution: Wet Floor" sign (some idiot put it right in the middle of the floor about a foot behind a closed door, so I didn't see it until I was on top of it). That wouldn't have been ironic at all...

@6354. "a short between the earphones" --the radio equivalent of PEBKAC

@6355. "Women using oral contraceptives blink 32% more often than other women on average for unknown reasons." --Wikipedia

@6356. "There's no grammatical hanky-panky going on here." --Prof. Brunelle

@6357. "There's a sort of a...'C' change..." --Prof. Brunelle, on Medieval Latin

@6359. Ran into a good post showing how quickly it's become impossible to pay your way through college by working. In 1965, with no other expenses, working minimum wage for the summer along with 24 hours a week during the year would let you graduate from an average public university with money to spare; in 2013, working the same amount you graduate with over $60,000 in debt. In the comments section someone asked that someone "with a background in economics" check this work. It's not economics, it's arithmetic...

@6360. There are no stupid computers, only stupid programmers.
(Cf. #2127.)

@6362. "However from my experience classes I got a C in are the classes I have learned the most in, the ones I got [an] A in was because it covered topics I already knew a lot about." --Slashdot comment

@6363. "Client lost about $2 printing several PDFs about Judaism today." --entire content of a Helpdesk ticket

@6365. In Wednesday's reading we had the following lines:
Et postquam Ursula
sic dixerat,
rumor iste
per omnes populos exiit.
Et dixerunt:
Innocentia puellaris ignorantie
nescit quid dicit.

The penultimate line is grammatically such that you can take it in at least three distinct ways which all make some sense, and we discussed this for some time. Of the last line Brunelle said: "It's a response to the grammar of the previous line."

@6367. "Dirty bombs are the strategic equivalent of poking a polar bear with a small twig." --Slashdot comment

@6368. "Tracking down intermittent problems is hard. When those problems result in the destruction of hardware, finding them is even harder."
--https://lwn.net/Articles/304105/

Also: "Developers working on tracing generally put a lot of effort into minimizing the impact of their code on system performance. Every last bit of runtime overhead is scrutinized and eliminated if at all possible. As a general rule, bricking the hardware is a level of overhead which goes well beyond the acceptable parameters."

@6371. This Cantus recording has some recurring note in it that sounds so much like my phone vibrating that I keep looking over expecting a notification. It's really distracting.

@6372. "I could get a degree in blanket theory." --me, making fun of my need to have my stacks of blankets aligned exactly right
{BL #8712}

@6373. "It's important for it to be audible." --me

@6374. "I feel less stupid sitting and thinking while I'm moving." --me, of my enjoyment of brainstorming with a voice recorder walking in the Natural Lands

@6376. "Shit, I'm singing Chapel with *Ole Choir* today!" --me, realizing I very nearly forgot to go to pre-service rehearsal
The best part is that the reason I remembered is that I absentmindedly, from nowhere, started singing part of the Sanctus we're using this Lent, and remembered that we'd been practicing it in rehearsal recently.

@6377. ibis redibis nunquam per bella peribis: The ancient "eats shoots and leaves," in the form of an oracle. (There's a similar Greek saying. But I won't bother writing that one because I can't read Greek.)

@6379. "Keyboards are people. Just like corporations." --someone at the IT Helpdesk, offering a possible interpretation of the very confusing equality depicted in a small, low-resolution icon on the boot menu of a Linux installation disc

@6380. "You are no longer a German. We are Italian." --Dr. Feldt

@6381. "Okay, now we should get a segmentation fault." --me
Always a good way to test a program.

@6382. "[Mr. Fletcher] testified that setting off explosions close to employees could be a fireable offense, but that it depended on the 'severity of the explosions.'"
--"Has Your Boss Ever Pooped In Your Lunchbox?": one of the most bizarre stories I've ever read on LtB, and that's saying something. (http://loweringthebar.net/2016/03/has-your-boss-ever.html)

Also, "Nothing livens up the company picnic like a few IEDs."

March 08, 2016
@6386.
First Woman: "Literally talking to yourself."
Second Woman: "I'm so okay with that."
--#overheard in the caf line

@6387. While rehearsing for Chapel Sunday morning:
Person 1: "What [piece] are we doing?"
Person 2: "'Nobody knows'."

@6389. "I remembered my name!" --Naomi, filling out a pink card

@6392. Dr. Armstrong read a section of text from a Wilfred Owen poem in _Pieta_ to us during rehearsal, which contains the line, "But God was vexed, and gave all power to Michael." He then clarified, "The archangel Michael." Next to me, Michael goes "Not me, dang it!" and snaps.
{BL CB 41.66}

@6393. "Can you guys yawn silently, please?" --Dr. Armstrong

@6396. "I put three more waffles in there. So I'm up to *five* waffles. Because I like waffles." --#overheard in the caf line (presumably regarding the panini maker)

@6399. A rather unfortunate St. Olaf username: "dickme2"
(You'd think someone might notice this when assigning them... I'm also amused that this suggests there was previously a "dickme1.")

@6400. "At least there isn't going to be a tornado...that we know of." --#overheard in the Mellby parking lot

@6401. "My supper plan is nothing." --#overheard in the hall

@6402. "the histograph" --typo on a stats assignment

@6403. "Hi, are you going to stay up all night too?" --a totally random person I don't know, poking his head into the Mellby lower lounge from the computer lab

@6406. "Subjunctive, subject, same difference." --me, misreading my abbreviated gloss

March 11, 2016
@6409.
> Oh come on, who here hasn't had to reboot during air to air combat?

... a problem that is aggravated by system's insisting on the installation of innumerable update packages on every reboot.

MISSILE LAUNCH DETECTED!!!
Installing radar software update 3 of 68....
MISSILE APPROACH WARNING!!!
Installing radar software update 3 of 68....
MISSILE IMPACT IMMINENT, EJECT! EJECT!
Installing radar software update 4 of 68....
For this update you need Microsoft Silverlight, install Silverlight [Y/N]:
--Slashdot comment

@6410.
> The software version "3i" is affected.
As a general rule, when your version numbering system needs to use complex numbers, something's going wrong with your project.
--Slashdot comment

@6412. #overheard in the caf line:
Person 1: "Cottage cheese? That's even weirder."
Person 2: (evil laugh)

@6413. "I'll hit up the stoPrint trail and then come back..." --me

@6414. "The problem is almost entirely in the paper; considering that PAPER is the entire point of a notebook, this is a big problem."

@6417. "The World's Above" --written on the back of the Concordia Choir 2016 tour program, writing in text the name of an album that was displayed correctly in the picture
I have since been trying to think of situations in which this would be correct. Like, "the world's above hell"?

@6422. "The few. The proud. The here." --Prof. Brunelle, when nearly half the class was not on time to Latin

@6424. And, tomorrow is National Fuck with the Clocks Day (#4470), time to reset them...

March 13, 2016
@6425. "Wow, no segfaults?! I implemented it correctly the first time." --me

@6426. It did, however, have a bug wherein it was returning the keys instead of the values when a value was requested from a key, and I didn't notice! (The bug was just me writing the wrong variable name.)

@6428. "Whee!" --Prof. Olaf, running an infinitely recursive program

@6429. Really good explanation of why handling exceptions in threads is difficult:
http://stackoverflow.com/a/2830277/1938956

@6430. "Perl goes in the blue bin, C++ in the green (please remove and discard all templates first)..." --Slashdot comment

@6432. "I had a subatomic clock, but I kept losing it." --Slashdot comment

@6433. Smooth. I wrote an exception handler that would print the traceback but then continue if it hit an error. I then thought for several minutes that it wasn't catching the exception and couldn't figure out why the heck it wasn't, because the output looked exactly the same.

@6434. Ummm...my R^2 value is decreasing -- considerably -- when adding terms to a model. This isn't supposed to happen...

@6435. Hehe...there was an old model stuck in my uncleared environment that was making the R^2 look like it was 50% for the first model, but actually it was less than 4%. I knew *something* was wrong.

@6436. A nice way to print only part of summary/model output in R Markdown in the future:
t <- capture.output(summary(mod9))
cat(t[11:13], sep='\n')

March 17, 2016
@6437. "Relax, you'll think better (p < .05)." --on the board during our stats midterm

@6440. "Never approach God with a runny nose." --me

@6441. "It just arrowed out." --me

@6443. New Report Reveals Kentucky Seniors Forced To Endure Brutal Hazing From Freshman Players

@6444. "Yes, Republicans are responsible for the state [of] every bus system across the entire country and probably the entire planet."

@6445. "And it's asymptotically optical." --me

@6446. "Croop!" --me
(Halfway between "crap" and "shoot.")

@6447. "Right words, tenors." --Dr. Armstrong

@6448. "Anna, I thought you went to the Cage to study, and you grew like three inches!" --#overheard in the quad

@6449. "How would you feel if someone turned you on and left?" --posted above a light switch in a Kildahl computer lab

@6450. "Always check your PO, Mr. Morales!" --#overheard by the PO boxes

@6451. "50 miles per second." --student in stats, describing the speed of a race horse

@6452. "No, I don't do John Doe because I'm a psychopath." --#overheard in the hall

@6453. We ran into the partial tempo marking "con esperanza" in sectionals the other day, and we hashed out eventually that it meant "with hope." I commented that, as a random fact, this is where the name "Esperanto" comes from. Everyone looked at me blankly and I went..."you know, the constructed language...", but evidently nobody did.

March 23, 2016
@6455. The So of Excuse

@6456. "It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them." --Agatha Christie

@6457. "That's a good way to become early for tomorrow's train." --conductor of the Empire Builder, on wandering away from the train during a stop
{BL #7916}

@6458. "Mama, I'm gonna be fat regardless." --#overheard on the train (cell phone conversation)

@6460.
Man: "Are there any restaurants here?"
Woman: (pointing to the restrooms) "There's one right there."
Woman: "...Oh, *restaurants*."
--#overheard couple in Van Buren Station

@6463. Speaking of the South Shore, yesterday I completely forgot to purchase a ticket before I got on the train. I was sitting in the station for a good forty minutes and never thought about it.

@6464. Also, the one odd mishap on the Empire Builder was that the power to a switch was out...so we had to stop for about ten minutes while we figured out what was going on and a conductor got out and went and threw it manually.

@6467. semper ubi sub ubi

@6469. Fall Creek Falls State Park

@6471. The lady at the Menards counter spelled our name BJORNSTAB the other day; I think that's a new one.

March 29, 2016
@6472. I literally just cackled upon composing a correct :global command. I love vim way too much.

@6473. Vim just threw SIGFPE and crashed...that has literally never happened to me before.

@6474. Almost declared some class members as "pubic"...

@6475. I wrote a class that stored *A SINGLE* distance value for an entire graph. And it somehow WORKED for the first application.

@6476. Sometime on this trip I finally figured out what the Coope, Boyes and Simpson song "Falling Slowly" song is about. I always liked it musically, but I like it much better now.
(This begins a bunch of items from the train ride yesterday.)

@6477. "You have to remember that Evan's 64 and Soren's 75. He barely has time for breakfast. And then...wisdom teeth before and after?" --#hypnagogia

@6478. Dining car attendant taking reservations, asked if credit cards were accepted: "Yes, card, cash. Gold coin is preferred."

@6479. "Rohbin, party of four. Rohbin, party of four....I'm sorry, Robin, party of four, Robin."

@6481. This begins a long string of quotes from the boy sitting in front of me on the train, maybe six or so. He reminds me quite a bit of myself at that age.

@6482. "Well I guess I have time to take a nap." --upon learning there were 20 minutes until departure

@6483. "Mom, do you want to go have wine or something?" [in the observation car]

@6484. "I'm just gonna stare out the window."

@6485. On whether a train could fit next to us on the tracks, which looked quite narrow: "Well if it's a really skinny train, like a sheet of paper." (This one sounded so much like me it was great.)

@6486. "I like Trump!" (As his parents were chatting with someone wearing a Bernie T-shirt.)

@6487.
Him: "There's no way I'm going to the hotel."
Mom: "Oh yeah? Where you going instead?"
Him: "Back home."

(They're traveling from Columbus, Ohio, to St. Paul.)

@6488. "Well, you promised you were going to sleep."

@6489.
Him: "I thought you said 'teacher.'"
Mom: "No, I said 'T-shirt.'"

@6491. "The grammar is wretched." --Prof. Brunelle's notes on a reading

@6492. I just figured out why the algorithms homework (and reimplementing stuff I could have reused if I had done it better at first) took me all day yesterday: I wrote 650 lines of C++ code.

@6493. I was observing the other day that stereo recordings used to truly be stereo and be mixed with good effects, sometimes nearly all of one particular track in only one channel. Most of today's are so subtle that you can barely even tell the difference, and I miss the old ones.

@6494. An interesting thought on how much independence children can be given due to safety concerns: Are most adults really all that much more capable of defending themselves, either from cons or from physical assault? And what's the ratio of crimes committed against them?

@6495. A couple more from the boy on the train.
Him: "And the Pacific Ocean!"
Mom: "That's a lake."
(It's the Mississippi River.)

@6496.
Mom: "Don't you want to sit up and look outside?"
Him: "I don't waaant to!"

@6499. Sometimes "gch" (precompiled header) files end up in my source directories by mistake (if you accidentally compile a header file) and result in old code getting used instead of new code. I am thus terming them "Growl, Compilation Halted" files.

@6502. "My heart attack was only five hours." --#overheard in the quad

@6503. Got a B+ on the algorithms exam, which I'm pretty happy with...but the raw score was a D. That's some curve. To my credit, though, the exam was an insane number of problems for the time we had to take it (14 problems, many with multiple parts and several very long, for a 55-minute exam). I made such mistakes as writing "O(n^2)" in my analysis and then copying out "O(n)" in my final answer, and indicating that the limit of 3n^2/n^2 as n approaches positive infinity is infinity.

Update: After doing the corrections, my score was just slightly over 100%!

@6506. "If you write with *pen* in a library book, you're just a bad person." --me

@6507. "Share a Coke with the KKK" --a meme about people trying to get Coca-Cola not to support Donald Trump, referencing Trump's initial refusal to disavow an endorsement from the KKK

@6511. "Gets wrong answers." --comment found at the source of a subtle bug
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-best-comment-in-source-code-that-you-have-ever-encountered

@6512. Also the Safety Pig:
                         _
 _._ _..._ .-',     _.._(`))
'-. `     '  /-._.-'    ',/
   )         \            '.
  / _    _    |             \
 |  a    a    /              |
 \   .-.                     ;
  '-('' ).-'       ,'       ;
     '-;           |      .'
        \           \    /
        | 7  .__  _.-\   \
        | |  |  ``/  /`  /
       /,_|  |   /,_/   /
          /,_/      '`-'

@6513. Just turned in my stats homework 3 minutes before it was due.

@6516. Apparently GCC can't detect a type error that arises when you return a templated type instead of an int and your templated type happens to be an int...that wasted a good half an hour.

April 02, 2016
@6517. "ambiguates" --gcc

@6518. "I used to drive with the most expensive radar detectors out there, now I do something really crazy and simply drive the speed limit using the cruise control."
--http://lifehacker.com/how-radar-detectors-work-and-why-they-wont-always-save-1768593070

@6519. fatal error: can't create precompiled header shortest-pour: Text file busy
What the heck does that mean?

@6521. This was very interesting, about people getting mad at discussion sites for changing rules and stuff:
> If you disagree with one there's no reason not to move on.

I can do that. You can do that. They probably can't (easily) do that. They have a vested, emotional, interest in their "internet home." Me? I've been online, in one form or another, since the mid-1980s. I've seen communities come and go. I've left more sites than I can count. It's reached the point where I don't even bother to voice my displeasure, I just wander off and stop visiting entirely one day.

I, and probably you, grew up when our site, or even the internet, weren't ubiquitous things or even consistent things. How many forums have you seen come and go? How many have you, yourself, owned? Me? Dozens... Hell, if we want to count the BBS' then... Wow... (I was leet, baby - not just one but TWO 40 MB HDDs, backups AND a spare system.)

I've got an address bar and I know how to use it. Them? They've set it as default and have spent eight hours a day there since they were 14. They've been molded by it and molded it in return. They have a sense of ownership. They have a sense of being.

Really, it's a transient thing (this internet) so they're foolish for doing so but it's how it is - I'm pretty sure.

@6522. Really, is it so foolish? You might as well say there's no point in making friends or falling in love, because we're all going to die someday, and we might well drift apart before then. I get the point that the Internet may be even more transient than that (although I think that's debatable), but just because something might not always be around doesn't mean you shouldn't take advantage of it now, does it?

@6523. "I am *not* reading Yahoo Answers to help myself write poetry." --me

@6525. Headline: "Experienced diver accidentally drowns exploring underwater New Mexico cave"
Is there a case in which someone would be reported as having "purposefully drowned"? (Reminds me of "temporarily out of order," #5176.)

@6527. I'm remembering a time at Montessori when we got a photocopied grammar worksheet from a workbook and I noticed that in the running heads they had spelled "grammar" (part of the title of the book) as "grammer." I believe I raised my hand and commented on this, and I think Mrs. L found it pretty funny, but my third-grade classmates didn't have enough of a linguistic sense of humor. (Cf. a typo in the title of a book, #2308.)
{BL #8007}

@6530. "Much like virtually everything else that white people like, these notebooks are considerably more expensive yet provide no additional functionality over regular notebooks that cost a dollar. Thankfully, since white people only keep their most original and creative ideas in the Moleskine, many of them will only be required to purchase one per lifetime."
--http://lifehacker.com/pocket-paper-notebook-showdown-moleskine-vs-field-not-1768558693

@6533. "Put it this way, if there's sight-reading on the exam, that's on you, not me." --Prof. Brunelle

@6535. "I find lifetime warranties rather frightening... what if it's cheaper for the company to have me killed than to fix the product?" --Slashdot comment

@6536. "When I say 'in the beginning,' I'm talking about FORTRAN." --Prof. Allen

@6537. So I somehow never heard about this during ATP. Conrad and Mason installed the FoxReplace extension on Jack's Firefox, which lets you specify strings to search and replace on websites that are loaded. They set it up to replace common pleasantries on forums with insults and profanity (e.g., "Thank you!" -> "So long, fuckheads!"). It took him over a week to figure out what was going on, during which time he was wondering why the hell everyone on these forums he was doing research on was being so rude.

This is such an awesome prank, I have to find a chance to do it myself sometime!

@6541. "It turns out that bringing millions of rows down from the database into a VB application just to look for a single row is a bit slow."
--http://thedailywtf.com/articles/The_Mystery_of_the_Missing_Screw_

April 06, 2016
@6542. "When user tries to clear the memory, it says that the memory card is empty. When user tries to record, it says that the memory card is full." --Helpdesk ticket

@6543. "Please go to the United States or its territories and try again." --http://www.thedailywtf.com/articles/Pop-up_Potpourri_0x3a__Mayday_Edition

@6544. "At the height of Trumpaign" --#hypnagogia

@6545.
I knew a couple who were moving to a new apartment, so we helped clean up with them. My wife noticed that the vacuum bag was full, and asked where they have new bags.

'Wait. You have to change the bag?'

They never knew that the vacuum cleaner doesn't actually make dirt disappear, and so they had been vacuuming for *years* with the bag completely full. I am surprised the motor didn't burn out.
--Lifehacker comment

@6547. "Based on the help I've received it appears that for some reason the libc startup code is dividing by 0."
--http://stackoverflow.com/questions/12570374/floating-point-exception-sigfpe-on-int-main-return0

@6550. "Adding a hint field has suplicated most of my cards" --#ankiforums typo

@6551. Umm, dpkg?
$ sudo apt-get remove anki
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
E: The package anki needs to be reinstalled, but I can't find an archive for it.

@6552. "But Matt still was unsatisfied with Network Operation's response to the power outage: someone should have been paged to fix the problem. After a quick investigation, Matt discovered that the alerts server was in fact hooked up to the UPS and did try to call just about everyone on the I.T. call tree. It's just too bad that the fine folks at Lowest Bidder, Inc. didn't think to plug the PBX system that runs the phones into the UPS."

@6553. I think there may be an information theory idea (for me at least) that I can call the "Rule of Two": Having to look in two different places (two indexes, two files, etc.) to try to find something is totally fine. It's when you have to try more that it starts to get irritating. This means for instance that RT can be in an archive and a normal file, or that I can have the most recent CB unindexed in RPPAS with no difficulties.

@6555. "Yeah, Liechtenstein is inherently funny." --me

@6556. "You can indeed see the citation format of choice changing as you read dissertations 3, 5, 8, 12 and 20 years ago. From what I can tell, they all strictly follow one rule: the default LaTeX output." --Stack Exchange comment

@6557.
Hello,
This is my first time posting on a Internet forum so I am a little scared.

My name is Chris and I love Anki.
[question]
--#ankiforums

@6558.
How change again my language? Because i choosed wrong my language.

thankful since already
--#ankiforums

@6560. "You know, in my next life I'm going to be perfect. I'm planning on it." --Prof. Lane-Getaz

@6561. "Yeah, I knew that wasn't going to work out, but I did it anyway, because I'm *stupid*." --me

April 11, 2016
@6563. "You can ignore all that stuff on the top, it's just to make a point." --Prof. Lane-Getaz

@6564. "So the odds ratio is...it's just the ratio of the odds." --student

@6568. "P is not R." --me, using a dictionary

@6569. "Oh Brother Where Art Though" --seen in the sidebar of YouTube

@6570.
At one point my then employer and I had a great idea, which we never implemented, that we should show pictures with each error message, so the call would go "Hey, I just used your product, and it showed me a picture of a tree and said 'Software Error'", "A tree? Ah, that means you're out of memory. Might mean a memory leak. Can you tell me what you were doing before you saw the tree..."
--Slashdot comment

@6571. Ran into a short #ankiforums post the other day that was entirely in Spanish, but I was able to read it without even using a dictionary, despite not knowing any Spanish!

@6572. I misspoke yesterday and somehow made it sound like I thought I'd edited a file I'd previously emailed to someone else (on their computer). Conrad and I thus came up with the idea of "email by reference."

@6574. There's a bathroom on the right: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YlTUDnsWMo

I think I can actually analyze how this one gets misheard at least on this (presumably the primary) recording. The big issue is that there's almost no sibilant on "rise" -- it's almost "rye," sounding just like a shortened "right," also sometimes followed by a literal "all right." The phrase "bad moon" is actually quite clear, but when you're trying to piece together "there's a ba--oo-- on the right," "bathroom" just feels like the answer.

Also, one of the commenters says when they were young their mother once asked them why they were listening to a song about a bathroom.

@6575. Incredibly Random Statistic of the Day: "Particular subpopulations have higher prevalence, with a 6000-subject MBTI-based survey indicating that 60% of attorneys, and 90% of intellectual property attorneys, are introverts."
{BL MB1.120}

@6576. One of the groups presenting in Algorithms today wrote on the board, "MST [minimum spanning tree] is based on the order of costs." Looking over at it for the first time I read "MST is based on the odor of cats."

@6577. So I'm reading this section of the book _Quiet_ about an experiment involving what volume level introverted and extroverted people choose to put headphones playing random noise at, and I caught myself unconsciously turning the volume down.

@6578. Racist Dog Rejects Job Applicant
(from Lowering the Bar)

@6579. "I can add more swap if I start running out of memory." --me
Always a good philosophy...

@6580. "Now, open a secure shell (SSH)."
I have literally never heard someone refer to sshing as "opening a secure shell."

@6581. "As we all know, English kind of sucks." --someone in a PL group that's trying to do natural language processing

@6582. "Do you want to go smell that hat, Soren?" --Conrad #unusualsentences
I told him I doubt that sentence has ever been spoken before.

@6583. "rm -rf --no-preserve-root --write-zeroes --shred-mbr --exec-all-ssh-hosts --douse-hydrofluoric --high-velocity-eject-removable-media --carpet-bomb-offsite-backup --salt-earth" --in a Slashdot comment

@6584. There are no uninteresting numbers.
Proof: Assume N is the smallest uninteresting number. That property in itself makes it interesting. Therefore there can be no smallest uninteresting number, so logically uninteresting numbers cannot exist. QED.
(Note: Not a logically complete proof. But still funny.)

Update: I was thinking the other day, I think we can edit this proof to make it logically complete: all that's needed is to say that the second-smallest uninteresting number can't be uninteresting either because it's the second-smallest "uninteresting" number, and so on up to infinity. The 98,357th otherwise-uninteresting number might not be *very* interesting, but it does have some property we can talk about.

@6585. "I translated the manual in 3 days with the highest effort possible and the least amount of sleep." --#ankiforums

@6586. Just came to "to celebrate" in my German Anki deck. I *still* remember this by the mnemonic I learned in seventh grade, which was not even a mnemonic. The reason it's memorable is because it was me who was made fun of in the mnemonic: I was asked for the translation of "celebrate" (perhaps to the class at large; I don't remember the details), and apparently said "feiern" in a particularly excited, celebratory way.

@6589. "Emacs is a religion that can also edit text." --Slashdot comment

@6590. Also today there was a Slashdot article about what people's take on the idea of speed-reading was. Naturally, some wise-asses purposefully wrote comments that pretended they skimmed the summary very poorly and misunderstood it. By far the best given current events was:

"My view on speed-readers is that they can use any public bathroom with which they identify."
(Cf. #6540, #6001, #5945.)

@6591. "Shipping is a feature. A really important feature. Your product must have it."
--http://www.joelonsoftware.com/items/2009/09/23.html

@6595. "We somehow accidentally called intermittent infinity." --#hypnagogia

@6597. So the British Natural Environmental Research Council ran an open online poll to ask people what they should name their new polar research ship. The top choice -- with over 120,000 votes -- was "Boaty McBoatface." In the press release, they said they probably aren't going to name it that.

@6598. "Advanced Beginning Ballet" --St. Olaf course title

April 18, 2016
@6599. It's 6:00pm and what I really want to do is go to sleep...Mondays on this schedule! Even without also practicing for and presenting at a colloquium and trying to figure out transportation for the 22nd and fill out forms that were due last Friday (neither of which we managed to complete).

@6601. "Computers are pretty fast at computing." --http://stackoverflow.com/questions/2526815/moon-lunar-phase-algorithm

@6604. Keep it Stupid, Simple

@6606. "Actually, recursion is a very bad idea." --_Algorithms_, p.160

@6607. "Oops, there's no bang in the shebang." --me

@6608. Cool Latin word of the day: moechor, -ari, to commit adultery.

April 20, 2016
@6609. "Horizontal slash." --Prof. Allen

@6612. "It's sort of eye-twisting, if you will."

@6615. I was waiting in line at the checkout counter of the Walgreens in Northfield today and #overheard the following in front of me. The customer was a woman probably in her late fifties purchasing an ornamented glass birdbath and some other yard ornament.

Checker: "Just a second, Anne, I want to give you some extra points." (she scans a coupon)
Customer: (cheerfully, but almost like a commercial) "Well, *thank you*!"

@6616. #overheard between two caf workers as I was in the tortilla line getting dinner:
Man: "What the fuck happened?"
Woman: "*Your roommate* happened. I'm going to beat him up!"

@6617. "Great investment for a college student!", 6th year college student
--quoted as a testimonial for an iOS app

@6618. You can now get a discount at the Minnesota Orchestra for being anywhere under 40. This is what's happening to classical music.

@6619. "The drain went down the drain!"

April 23, 2016
@6622. "RENEWALS NOT ALLOWED" --on a score of which the library has at least ten copies, eight currently checked in

@6623. "I'm all for healthy, but I'm all for fudge." --Jack

@6624. "Hey, your brother's really attractive, I'm gonna have to...throw that out there." --#overheard in the Cage, several women looking at someone's desktop background

@6626. "Find Out How Easily Distracted You Are With This One-Minute Test" --Lifehacker

@6627.
Judge: "What's the [full-size Apple] keyboard for?"
Competitors: "To turn it on and off."
--of a robot entered in the MICS competition

@6628. In other news, two papers submitted to MICS had grammatical errors in the title:
* "Using Neural Networks to Detect Examples of Ad Hominim in Politics and Microblogging Platforms"
* "A Hybrid Quantum Encryption Algorithm that Uses Photon Rotation to Insure Secure Transmission of Data"

@6631. "This piece goes from a lot of flats to a lot of sharps. That wasn't just accidental." --John Muehleisen
(He didn't even mean to do it!)

@6637. Whitaker's Words just suggested using "me" as an adverb. I actually rather like that. Like, instead of "like me," you could say "mely."

@6638. Magnum Chorum was in a rush yesterday and warmed up faster than I've ever heard anybody warm up. Like, they did all the normal warmups, but did them twice as fast.

@6639. "It just creeps up like bananas." --tenor singing for _Pieta_, about his pitch in the Civil War song

@6640. "I think the piano's going flat." --tenor singing for _Pieta_, about his pitch in the Civil War song
(Cf. #1015.)

@6641. "Dead people, I can mess with their music." --Dr. Armstrong

@6646. "This is not the Second Coming, you know...people are looking so startled." --Prof. Allen

@6647. "And God has provided a prefix null-question-mark, hasn't he...or she." --Prof. Allen

@6648. http://notaverb.com/login

@6649. "+CommanderX3001 This makes a genre of comments complaining about the comments complaining about comments of being born in the wrong generation which I am commenting about that will eventually become the norm to the point that there will be YET another kind of comment complaining about the comments which complain about the comments complaining about the comments that complain about the comments about being born in the wrong generation. Welcome to the internet." --YouTube comment
(Cf. #5941.)

@6651. "A church or a school without a choir is like a body without a soul." --John Rutter

@6652. "I've been a little worried about the Unicode Consortium ever since 'PILE OF POO' (U+1F4A9) received its own codepoint." --Slashdot comment

April 28, 2016
@6653. "In any case, EARS are analog. There is no plugging that hole." --Slashdot comment

@6654. "The Evil Ists" --JMG

@6655. Got back my corrections on the Algorithms midterm. My raw score on the exam was a D-. With the combination of said corrections and the curve, I now have slightly over 100%.

@6656. "Whoever came in early with shame, don't do that again." --Dr. Armstrong

@6657. Yesterday in rehearsal someone farted at a quiet spot right between two movements, on the beat. We only barely managed to keep from laughing into the start of the chorale.

@6658. Also at said rehearsal, one of the oboists was warming up while we were trying to warm up. I guess if you've never really sung formally, you don't realize how irritating it is to sing when you can't hear your pitch -- I mean, you play over people when you're warming up in orchestra all the time...

Update: The second day of this, Dr. A told them to please stop. They seemed slightly miffed.

@6661. "We've already seen our potential." --a group presenting in PL, of one of their bullet points

@6662. Nathan was trying to present his progress on the project in PL, but the executable wouldn't run on the Windows computer he was trying to use it on, and his laptop wouldn't connect to the projector, so he pointed the document camera at the screen. It was pretty hard to read, but it was also actually pretty clever. A good hack.

@6663. "Unfortunately, as we have continued to sneak Windows 10 onto unsuspecting users systems, we have seen some software designed to disrupt the malware like experience of Windows 10 and redirect you to search providers that were not designed to collect all of your information and send it to Microsoft. The result is a compromised user database that is not worth as much as an ad platform as we had hoped. The completeness of our database is crucial to us, and is disrupted if CompTelRunner, Cortana, and other subsystems cannot use the MS backend for data collection. The only way we can plan on how to pillage further and make our database more valuable to other entities (NSA) is through the integration of Cortana, Edge, and Bing. -- All designed to capture more for us." --Slashdot comment

@6664. "Do not set a variable to the contents of a long text file unless you have a very good reason for doing so. Do not set a variable to the contents of a *binary* file, even as a joke." --warning on the Advanced Bash Scripting Guide

@6669. "A transgender cat?" --#overheard on the bus

@6672. So I was cleaning out my black day pack to bring it to the Cities for Pieta, and I found an unopened container of yogurt in it. I think I took it at a hotel one morning on tour and put it in there, then forgot about it. Surprisingly it didn't smell at all and looked totally normal, though I wouldn't have dared to open it.

@6673. The Journal of Universal Rejection: http://universalrejection.org/

@6678. "I'm not going to add a ten-dollar customization fee for them to rearrange the keys on my keyboard..." --me, of Unicomp

@6679. "ex test 24 fails because test is wrong." --comments in the vim help about POSIX compliance

@6680.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored, and sorrows end.
--Sonnet 30, William Shakespeare

@6683. "Patients who were too ill to fill in a questionnaire were excluded from the study."

@6684. "Wait, how come people's age is so high?" --#overheard in stats class

@6685. "MSCS Colliquim" --title of a promotional poster, in at least 36-point font

@6690. "Translating things into ancient Egyptian is not really a common problem." --Stack Exchange

@6691. Had a realization that I may be more susceptible to misspending time than some people because a lot of the stuff I really enjoy doing I can just do whenever I feel like it at my desk.

May 04, 2016
@6693. "But you must act with restraint. The world condemns liars who do nothing but lie, even about the most trivial things, and it rewards poets, who lie only about the greatest things." --_Baudolino_'s Otto of Freising

@6697. I was thinking that there's an excellent example of the Dunning-Kruger effect (aka "illusory superiority") in listening to recordings of myself, in both directions. When I listen to myself playing solo violin, for example, it always sounds worse than it does to me (but people still seem to like it, so at least that's good; just like my voice doesn't sound as good as it sounds to me). But then when I listened to, say, _Pieta_, I thought it was relatively poor at the time we sang it, and it's absolutely gorgeous on the recording.

A good part of the bad direction is a phenomenon which I might aptly describe as the, "Dammit, I put an 'S' in the wrong place, the whole piece is ruined!" phenomenon. Of course the piece isn't as good when someone puts an S in the wrong place, and it is actually noticeable in many cases, and maybe it is worth beating yourself up over at least a little bit if it means you'll do it less often in the future. But the thing is it really *does* feel like the entire piece is ruined when you put an S in the wrong place, and of course it really isn't.

@6699. "The question doesn't change, my friend," Niketas said. "Indulgently, I suggested you wanted to be the Prince of Falsehood, and now you make me realize you would like to be God Almighty."
--_Baudolino_

@6700. "Yes, the vision was an illusion, but what I now felt inside was not; it was true desire. When you feel it, it's not an illusion. It's real." --Abdul, _Baudolino_

@6701. "There is nothing better than imagining other worlds to forget the painful one we live in. At least so I thought then. I hadn't yet realized that, imagining other worlds, you end up changing this one." --Baudolino, _Baudolino_
{BL #10222}

@6702.
Baudolino: "But does a relic, to be true, have to date back to the saint or to the event of which it was part?"
Niketas: "No, of course not. Many relics that are preserved here in Constantinople are of very suspect origin, but the worshiper who kisses them perceives supernatural aromas wafting from them. It is faith that makes them true, not they who make faith true."
--_Baudolino_

@6704. "If you give me one more topaz I'll swallow it, then shit it out the window." --Baudolino, _Baudolino_

@6705. "...Someone proposed also mentioning an underground stream rich in precious stones, but he refused to pursue the idea, for fear of hearing someone say topaz again." --_Baudolino_

@6707. "The FDA should totally regulate farting." --Slashdot comment

@6709. "Running someone over for a minor traffic offense is illegal in all 50 states." --Jalopnik comment

@6711. "Is that a *mosquito*? If that's a mosquito I'm *suing*." --me, walking in early spring

May 07, 2016
@6712. Apparently I joined Facebook seven years ago today.

@6713. "I'm too lazy to find the right tool on my multitool." --me, using a serrated knife blade to cut a tag off a tie

@6717. Just got back from the Viking/Manitou concert. They blew me away, they were absurdly good. We were *nothing* like that. Last year was nothing like that. There were a few technical slips (hell, we have those in Ole Choir), but they sang with feeling and their tone was absolutely gorgeous. It was nearly an Ole Choir-length concert, though, a few minutes past two hours.

The concert was great, but the audience was horrendous. The average age was probably about 30 higher than usual in Boe Chapel. I think a lot of Oles didn't come because it's just those first-year choirs (bad choice today, guys!). So several cell phones went off during the performance. More than one person was taking pictures with the shutter sound on full volume. A number of people were probably too sick to really be at the concert, and this is something I don't get: if you're really sick but you really want to come to a concert, and said concert is fairly casual, as this one is, then you sit in the back on the aisle. In Boe Chapel, if you sit in the back row and find you need to cough or leave for whatever reason, you can literally be outside the building in silence in under ten seconds. One old lady was sitting on the center aisle in the front row and had a huge coughing fit during a quiet piece, which ended up lasting basically the entire length of the piece as she proceeded down the side aisle, loudly, at about six inches per second, and then, reaching the back, coughed like crazy without actually going outside the narthex or closing the door. And there were others.

@6719. "Your account was logged into by an unrecognized browser." --Facebook

@6720. "Anyway, an addiction of Anki in the whitelist and everything started to work nominally again." --#ankiforums

@6721. "When it comes to doing things, I prefer the people to be alive, and female." --Boiamondo, _Baudolino_
{BL dr #1266}

@6722. "I don't want to sound mean, but if I were to obey the inspiration I receive from Our Lord, I would smash your ass." --Baudolino, _Baudolino_

@6723. "By the devil! Baudolino said to himself. This old man is right. The Grasal should be a cup like this one. Simple, poor as the Lord himself was. And for this reason perhaps it is there, within everyone's grasp, and no one has ever recognized it because they have been searching all their lives for something gleaming." --_Baudolino_, p.274
{BL #6038}

@6724. "foolishly headless of danger" --#ankiblunders, found in the definition of "reckless"

@6726. I'm rather amused that the Indiana BMV is sending me angry emailed reminders saying this is my *FINAL* reminder to renew my driver's license and I will incur late fees if I don't, when I have my renewed license, good until 2022, in my hand.

@6731. "And that's going to solve all our problems, because this is a textbook problem." --Prof. Lane-Getaz

@6733. "Counsel used bolded italics to make their point, a clear sign of grievous iniquity by one's foe." --qtd. in http://loweringthebar.net/2012/07/order-overruling-objection-to-motion-filed-about-four-minutes-late.html
{BL CB46.72}

@6734. What the hell, g++? Apparently initializing an unsigned variable to -1 doesn't merit a warning with -Wall -Wextra.

@6735. "Imagine if you were trying to read a book or look at art in a museum or something, and every 5 minutes some annoying person would come around and shout at you or do something random and stupid to distract you... That would be really ridiculous, but most people accept it when watching TV. Once you live without those distractions for a while though, you realize how weird it is." --Slashdot comment

@6738. "When I try to use the cloze card, I get an error message telling me I need to use the cloze card." --#ankiforums

@6739. "Will Google sue Sue Googe?"
{BL #11595}

@6740.
Emily #11129 @1817 [~]$ MUTT
MUTT: command not found
Emily #11130 @1817 [~]$ mutt
Mailbox is unchanged.

Moral: Never yell at Bash.
(Cf. #5960)

@6742. "Hunger, poverty, disease or even death may not be a problem by 2035, or 25 years from now." --president of Huawei

(Besides the basic absurdity of this statement, I'm pretty sure this year isn't 2010 on any usual calendar.)

@6743. "If I had a nickel for every time I've written 'for (i = 0; i < N; i++)' in C I'd be a millionaire." --Mike Vanier

@6747.
Prof. Reece: "This book is for Ryan, who is heavily into images, because...he spent this year organizing the college's ancient coin collection."
Prof. May: "I thought it was because he couldn't read."

@6750. "Got some free coffee, free root beer, and told people about my dreams." --#overheard cell phone conversation along Ole Avenue

@6753. "Time is an eternity that stammers." --Hypatia, _Baudolino_ (presumably after Gnosticism)

@6754. "If these fronds didn't exist, we wouldn't sit here and talk about God; if the wood didn't exist, we would never have met, and this perhaps would be the worst of evils." --Hypatia, _Baudolino_ (presumably after Gnosticism)

@6755. "I had been warned, after all, Master Niketas, that the Demiurge had done things only halfway." --Baudolino, upon having to leave Hypatia

@6756.
Can you imagine if this attitude was taken by any other company?

"Keurig agents have been sneaking into people's houses and replacing their Keurig coffeemakers with the new, fancy Keurig 10.0. However, the Keurig 10.0 is incompatible with all old 3rd party k-cups. To avoid being 'upgraded', you should leave a sign saying 'do not steal and replace' by your coffeemaker, but the Keurig agents will remove the sign sometimes so you need to make sure to keep replacing the sign if it disappears overnight. Reports have also surfaced of the Keurig agents occasionally ignoring the sign altogether, so some people recommend having someone in the house stay awake by the Keurig at all times to decline the upgrade."

"Tesla owners are facing a forced upgrade to the Tesla Model FU, which now runs on diesel. Tesla officials say that, to decline the upgrade, simply park your car facing towards Redmond when the upgrade agents come by to check. The upgrade agents can come by to check at any time, including when you're in the middle of driving."

I could go on, but do you get my point? People should not be required to be actively vigilant about keeping their equipment from suddenly having massive (and potentially ruinous) changes forced on them.

[...]

That's like blaming a guy for receiving a box of poop in the mail because he didn't tell the mailman once a week "Please do not mail poop to me."
--Slashdot comments on Microsoft's Windows 10 upgrade tactics

@6757. "It's bad enough having one wife." --Dr. May, of Groton correcting him repeatedly

@6758. Some people at the Bacchanalia were complaining about a strange word on one of the recent Greek translation exams that had thrown them off, which was an adjective that sounded like 'kari'; I can't remember what it meant. Everyone who didn't know Greek, however, including me, thought they were badmouthing Kari (perhaps for doing well on the exam?), and sat there kind of unsure what to do until someone finally asked a clarifying question. Then we laughed.

@6759. "He was asking me a theoretical, or just a question in theory, and I talked about it only from that standpoint. Of course not. And that was done, he said, you know, I guess it was theoretically, but he was asking me a rhetorical question, and I gave an answer. And by the way, people thought from an academic standpoint, and asked rhetorically, people said that answer was an unbelievable academic answer. But of course not, and I said that afterwards. Everybody understands that." --Donald Trump, on his first statement saying that women who had illegal abortions should be punished

@6760. The Absurditability of Lisp

@6764. I #misread the "Lactation Room" sign on a room I'd never noticed before in Tomson as "Levitation Room." A levitation room would be a lot cooler...

May 18, 2016
@6765. "Really, if a bear is about to kill you, do you care if stopping it gets you in trouble with the law. I want that to be my last thought when a bear is eating me 'well at least I won't have to see a judge'." --Stack Exchange comment

@6769. "warning: ‘main' is usually a function" --gcc

@6770. One of the funnier bugs I've seen in a while: after just changing the help text, running 'dr help' or plain 'dr' was not terminating. Come to find out, instead of the command "basename $0" in dr, I typed "$basename $0". Of course the variable $basename didn't exist, so it evaluated to nothing (yay Bash!). Thus the command became "$0": cue infinite recursion.

@6771. "A bee has very little immensity."

@6772. "If you're planning a heist to steal RAM, you probably have someone with the technical know-how to profit off it." --Security Stack Exchange comment

@6773. "Attempting to have exclusive rights to an API is like a restaurant wanting exclusive rights to phrases such as 'GET WATER', or 'ONE BEER PLEASE'." --Slashdot comment

@6776. From Wikipedia:
"Tag and other chasing games have been banned in some schools in the United States and United Kingdom due to concerns about injuries, complaints from children that it can lead to harassment and bullying, and that there is an aspect to the game that possesses an unhealthily predatory element to its nature."

Are you kidding me?

@6778. Highly amused to find that Crawl sets an automatic travel exclusion zone around oklob plants.

@6779. Q - the +5,+7 bow of Untimely Demise (weapon) {flame, Dex+2}.
I know I've said this before, but Crawl's artifact names are awesome.

@6780. "Sorry for the sideways pictures, too lazy to fix them." --post to stolaf-extra

May 23, 2016
@6781. Apparently I can't read boxplots -- I just tried to read the non-outlier range as the quartiles and was very confused that it didn't match the numbers underneath.

@6786. "If you have a staff, I will give you a staff. If you have no staff, I will take it from you."

@6787. "Because the Britons are not only Aryans, they're also incompetent." --in the margin of my Latin notes on the Venerable Bede

@6788. I think the other day I worked out part of why people telling me that their dog won't bite me is so annoying. I was out walking near the Frisbee golf course and some people were playing / hanging out nearby and their dog came over and started following me. I continued walking quickly away from said dog and glancing over at the owners, and a moment later a woman called out, "He won't bite!" and called the dog back. She petted the dog and said, "Not everyone likes dogs."

Yes, because the problem is that I "don't like dogs." Well, let's be fair, I would indeed be a fool to assume that a strange dog would *not* bite me just because people aren't paying attention to what the dog is doing. But setting that entirely aside, the real problem is that I don't like random dogs I don't know following me, or dog owners being so careless that they let their dog wander off and follow strangers. Them assuming that it's somehow my dislike of their animal is really irritating.

@6789. "You're abnormally expressive." --Dr. A, to the basses

@6790. "And it's supposed to be 70! I'm gonna be a sexy momma!" --#overheard by the POs

@6791. "I bet they'd like it even more if there were a mug to put it in." --Randy, on a sign outside the caf asking if people's family would like tea and coffee at Commencement

@6793. "I can survive valid psychological abnormality." --#hypnagogia

@6799. "Dog expungement? What the hell is dog expungement?" --me, on a search engine autocomplete suggestion when looking for help with 'mutt'
There are 21 hits for it on Google. None of them, of course, use that as an actual phrase together.

@6800. And an old #hypnagogia from voice recording backlog:
"Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, won't you go for Jericho?"

May 26, 2016
@6805. "Think of it this way: If you wanted to climb Mount Everest, you'd still need to pack your underpants!"

@6806. "The design of the [C] preprocessor is horrid in several ways, but on the other hand, Reiser's implementation of it is an amazing case study in how to make software run really, really, really fast. In one environment I used in the 1980s, it was faster than 'cat file.c > /tmp/foo'!"
--http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?CeeLanguage

@6809. "You don't 'woo' Beautiful Savior!" --me, watching the end of our Commencement concert on streaming

@6812. "I'm the *worst* at lighting candles!" --#overheard in the quad, someone lighting senior lanterns

@6815. So I don't think I've ever told the story about the time my parents and I (tried to) go to a movie when I was maybe four. We arrived at the theater and Papa went up to the ticket window, ordered the tickets, and pulled out his wallet to pay -- but it was filled entirely with play money. Apparently he had lent me his wallet after refilling it and then forgotten to put the actual money back in.

@6816. "At first you're like 'shellcheck is awesome' but then you're like 'wtf are we still using bash.'" --Alexander Tarasikov

@6820. From a dream/fragment that otherwise was not worth writing down tonight (sorta #hypnagogia):
"It is considered rude to slap your lover with a tat-mouse unless they ask."

(There are literally six results for "tat-mouse" on DDG.)

@6824. "Anki, become aware that I am awesome!" --me, syncing my desktop after camping and knocking out over 8,000 overdue reviews

@6825. "Our objective is to improve the property." --neighbor who cut down four beautiful old black walnut trees

@6826. Supine Lupine

@6830. "Seriously? Who would want to go from Northfield to the Mall of America?" --woman on a Northfield Lines bus, after we dropped two people off at said mall

@6832. "No, leave your diaper on!" --#overheard in an adjacent campsite

@6833. The Naanentity

@6835. "Contributions gleefully accepted" --#misread sign at Olbrich

@6836. "Ladie's Sizes" --seen on a sign at the Chocolate Shoppe in Madison

@6839. "Always be polite to people who have a larger car than you." --me

@6841. "What a data of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable know-how regarding unpredicted emotions." --spam comment

@6842. "While it's true that there are variations of the 3.5 mm plug, I cannot remember a single time in the past 15 years when I plugged a 3.5 mm headset into an apple or android phone and it failed to work. I can remember plenty of times when I couldn't get bluetooth to pair."
--on Apple removing the headphone jack from the next iPhone

@6844. "In a new article (which I suppose won't be "new" to you if you subscribe to the journal _Insect Systematics & Evolution_, but I'm willing to take that chance), two researchers at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History have announced that they've developed a new method of distinguishing between species of praying mantises." --Lowering the Bar

@6846. "You spit the hog like the proverbial pig!" --DCSS

@6848. There's a dream on my voice recorder recorded at 6/16/16 6:16am. I thought I must have miscopied it at first! (And no, I'm not dreaming right now...)

@6849. "The accident apparently happened because of a hand-written schedule on unlined paper whose columns did not line up, and was #misread by the freight crew." --Wikipedia on a rail accident

@6850. "I'm so glad #progress in technology has allowed downloading files." --Slashdot comment on the news that Netflix will soon allow downloading content for offline use

@6854. "Watching tv is similar to a game where some company tries to convince you to buy their stuff while you have to convince yourself not to buy it." --Slashdot comment

@6855. "The elephant tramples itself." --DCSS
I'm trying to get a picture of how that would work...

@6856. Conditional Enlightenment

@6857. "I'm subpoenaing y'all's ass in the courtroom." --http://loweringthebar.net/2016/06/defendant-holds-himself-in-contempt.html

June 29, 2016
@6859. "You finish putting on the +3 hat of Pondering. You feel rather ponderous." --DCSS

@6861. Illinois: You can't avoid it.

@6862. Silva rerum

@6863. When I had to call the Geek Squad hotline the other day, the recorded message said "backslash" when reading their web URL to me.
{BL #7873}

July 05, 2016
@6865. "Any sufficiently disguised bug is indistinguishable from a feature." --Rich Kulawiec

@6866. Listening to Stephen Paulus' "Little Elegy" and a really loud commercial for a movie called "The Infiltrator" comes on, with a 5-second audio clip that says, "One wrong move and we're *dead*!" #ironyoftheday? Also, really annoying.

@6867. "Aww, all your advertising media could not be loaded. Poor you." --me, looking at an error message in a sidebar

@6868. "Why is there a line break between those? Oh, maybe there's a line break because there's a <br> tag..." --me

@6869. RuntimeError: maximum recursion depth exceeded while getting the str of an object

@6870. I'm debugging Tabularium, wondering why ranges aren't getting validated properly; when I get to the appropriate spot in the validation code it just says:
@@@
elif reftype == refTypes['range']:
    pass
@@@

@6871. "Note that this practice usually only serves to confuse the reader of a program." --Python documentation, on defining methods outside the class definition

@6872. "This paper is too difficult for a journal on Astrophysical Fluid Dynamics." --http://shitmyreviewerssay.tumblr.com/

@6873. "Invalid method name __init__" --pylint

@6874. "Monitors are supposed to sound accurate. Speakers are supposed to sound good." --summary of the difference

@6875. "Another client of mine also had too many unit tests. I pointed out to them that this would decrease their velocity, because every change to a function should require a coordinated change to the test. They informed me that they had written their tests in such a way that they didn't have to change the tests when the functionality changed...That of course means that the tests weren't testing the functionality, so whatever they were testing was of little value."

@6876. "No copyright intended" --the sloppy version of #3964

@6877. Every time I choose my Ole Choir calendar in the edit screen of Google Calendar, it says "video call added."

@6878. Rainforest Alliance Certified -- 50% certified coffee

July 20, 2016
@6879. Today I got the word 'svelte' in Boggle.

@6885. "They invented OO because the maintenance phase of the project was always very expensive, and they were looking for ways to reduce those costs. Fortunately they solved that problem with Agile -- now you just work on the project for years until it's done, then throw all the code away and start over again. No maintenance costs, it's genius!" --Slashdot comment

@6888. "The NIST DAG draft argues that SMS-based two-factor authentication is an insecure process because the phone may not always be in possession of the phone." --Slashdot summary

@6889. Comment: "I heard you like phones / So I put a phone in your phone because the phone may not always be in possession of the phone."

@6891. "(This entry is long enough without a helping of moral relativism.)" --CB 34.69

@6894. I've decided the new fad in America is to not care about your customers, and to not care if anyone knows it.

@6895. "The correct answer to conversations about the Factory Pattern or the Command Pattern or the Singleton Pattern is to find a better programming language."
--http://www.smashcompany.com/technology/object-oriented-programming-is-an-expensive-disaster-which-must-end

@6896. In PHP, 'pi' is a *function*.
--https://eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/

@6897. "A picture takes up more bandwidth than a thousand words."

August 01, 2016
@6898. "Miss Oliver, by the way, was out of a couple of important things even leaving Chicago. It seems there must be some higher powers that cause snack bar supply problems." --CB35.52

@6899. "The program stubbornly returns the value 13 every time (which, to give it some credit, is correct)." --me, on a homework assignment where we were supposed to be showing that a race condition could occur in the program, qtd. in CB37.25

@6901. "Ginger oil is used to provide joint You do not have access to view this node relief."

@6902. "So I didn't get 50% off my $6 sandwich, but I was not an asshole, either, and I got a free drink for being nice." --CB40.75

@6903. "Seems about five times less believable than _Inception_, which is saying something." --me, watching a movie trailer

@6904. "When most everything in optparse had either been copy-pasted over or monkey-patched, it no longer seemed practical to try to maintain the backwards compatibility." --Python argparse documentation

@6907. "I'll go down Lincolnway. It'll be harder to run someone over accidentally....As opposed to running someone over on purpose." --me, considering my nighttime route to feed the cats

@6908. "Where's my audio? ...Oh, the amplifier is off." --me

@6909. "If Jesus is testifying on your behalf and you still lose, your case stinks." --Lowering the Bar

@6910. "It works, but it's not...good." --me

@6911. Searched for 'netrc'. Did you mean 'negro'?
--Wikipedia

@6912.
Because road wear is a function of the fourth power of the weight [pavementinteractive.org], the fees should be:

A 540-pound motorcycle pays $0.0013/mile
A 3,470-pound SUV pays $0.347/mile
An 80,000 pound semi trailer pays $4,252/mile
--Slashdot comment

@6913.
<Ladykiller69> is gells gravitas resistable?
<doll> it's resistable in the sense that as far as I am aware it's useless
<Tiltorax> Ladykiller69: I'd rather press . than use gell's

@6914. More, from #1434 (the numbering changed, presumably due to removing some not-so-good ones, so I won't update the above):
guru wisdom[17/27]: <djanatyn> wtf is a two headed ogre <G-Flex> an ogre <G-Flex> with two heads
guru wisdom[18/27]: <Ragdoll> plants dont evade much, so it seems
guru wisdom[19/27]: evilmike * raa65f5f49256 /crawl-ref/source/dat/des/branches/lair.des: Stonehenge is not made of wax.
guru wisdom[20/27]: <the_glow> i like to use healing wands when im about to die to increase my hit points
guru wisdom[21/27]: <evilmike> plato doesn't have much to say on video games, sadly.
guru wisdom[22/27]: <faze> technically your head is not a sword
guru wisdom[23/27]: <G-Flex> in some ways having a higher level is actually better
guru wisdom[24/27]: <Blazinghand> big kobolds are big <Blazinghand> for kobolds
guru wisdom[25/27]: <crate> ac doesnt get worse if you have more of it
guru wisdom[26/27]: <doubtofbuddha> I guess +9 scale mail is probably better than +6
guru wisdom[27/27]: <ProzacElf> vamp dwhip isn't that bad

@6915. "It was equally unfair of me to imply that all pedophiles are Roman Catholic priests. Some pedophiles are productive members of society." --Dan Savage

@6919. "You have money for goat hot pot?" --_The Owl and the Sparrow_

@6921. The Hostel Stare

@6922.
< nht> You read: "Time ?lie like an ?rro?.".
< nht> The door opens. An arrow shoots out at you!

@6924.
<raisse> !gift scorchgeek a blessed +7 spetum and
* Rodney gives scorchgeek a blessed +7 spetum and an uncursed cannot read text data file /opt/nethack/rodney/data/nh360objects.txt.
<raisse> wow
<Pici> nice
<elenmirie> hah
<Pici> I wish I had one of those.
<GhostlyDeath> Is that a new nethack item?
<elenmirie> at least it was uncursed!
<raisse> well, enjoy your cannot read text data file /opt/nethack/rodney/data/nh360objects.txt.

@6925. Eventuation

@6926.
Hi there,

Thank you for your precious guidance.

I gratitude you for the response.
--#ankiforums

@6929. "Wow, that's the second occurrence of the phrase 'llama teeth' in this file." --me, referring to .fortunes

August 19, 2016
@6932. "Because he [Cicero] was murdered in B.C., so the dates [of important events in his life] can't be A.D." --me

@6933.
Hello
Do not bother
I am a student of Industrial Engineering
You know how much funding is the development of an effective student
According to Apple's phone app is that money can not buy and I use and high prices
First I want to say thank you just got one of these apps and have high costs, but is not much help to those who can not afford to grow
Thankful
--#ankiforums

@6939. "The book is related to the early Julio-Claudian emperors, particularly Augustus, along with Common Lisp." --dream #1245

@6941. "I'm by the back door of Sunnyside in the breezeway and have been assigned the task of digging a big hole under the kitchen window.  Once the hole is dug, we will throw the kitchen stove out the window and bury it in the hole.  There is no rationale whatsoever given for this." --dream #1200
(Actually, that whole dream is insanely weird and funny.)

@6942. "I installed Funky." --#ankiforums #whoopstypo

@6943.
  /* Prepare for return. */
  return;
}
--http://thedailywtf.com/articles/Coded_Smorgasbord_0x3a__Prepare_For_Return

@6944. "We don't do oop here." --http://thedailywtf.com/articles/The-Winds-of-Recession,-A-Doomed-Interivew,-and-Oops!

@6945. "Please remove any double quotes from the comments area. Use single quotes instead." --http://thedailywtf.com/articles/Manual-str_replace(

August 23, 2016
@6946. "The only time I've ever gotten complaints about not drinking was not with clients, but when I was playing poker and not making mistakes because I was sober." --Stack Exchange

@6947. "To my surprise, they were primarily a steampunk clothing vendor who happened to have one shelf-unit of tea mixes." --http://www.gwern.net/Tea

@6948. "Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway." --Andrew Tanenbaum

@6950. "Individuals using hyperbolic discounting reveal a strong tendency to make choices that are inconsistent over time – they make choices today that their future self would prefer not to have made, despite using the same reasoning." --Wikipedia

@6951. "The disadvantage of this comforting notion is that it's false." --Wired's article on Wozniak, on the necessity of remembering facts

@6955. "This is not a bend, but I included it here because people sometimes erroneously use it as a bend."

@6956. "With the possible exceptions below, the Sheepshank should never be used." --Animated Knots

@6957. "Right away I am going away to do my breakfast, afterward having my breakfast coming again to read further news." --spam comment

@6958. "These arguments must not take arguments." --fsck(8) man page

@6960. "But knives and booze, yoga and booze, 13 mile runs and booze? What's next to be liquored up: CPR training? Puppy ballet class? (Not really a thing, but someone should get on it.)"

Also, can you imagine wanting a margarita after a half marathon? I mean, I like margaritas, but a big gulp of alcohol would be just about the last thing I would want after running 13 miles.

August 28, 2016
@6964. "patrimonachary" --#hypnagogia

@6965. "Thirty-seven flavors of affordable American wallets" --#hypnagogia

@6969. The Needle Stick Prevention Act

@6970. Form is generative

@6971. "Dear there," --#ankiforums salutation

@6977. "Year not found"

@6978. "[The software] had originally been written in COBOL, then ported to MS-DOS batch files thousands of lines long."

@6979.
if (foo || !foo) {
   /* some code */
} else {
   /* same code as above */
}

@6980. "Why exactly is your email signature in this config file?"

@6981. http://thedailywtf.com/articles/mercy-the-mercenary-in-a-heated-argument

@6982. "Congraubullations! You're file has been procesed!" --http://thedailywtf.com/articles/congraubullations

@6983.
boolean hasFeatures() {
    if (license.getFeatures().size() > 0 ? true : false) {
            return true;
    }
    return false;
}

@6984. "Hello Anki Fiends," --#ankiforums salutation #whoopstypo

@6986. "Let's just say: When you're trying to get a contract with a client, it's best not to offer to sleep with them when their wife is also there."

@6987. "Nemoseen." --pronunciation of "Mnemosyne" on a YouTube video

@6988. "Winston was excited to build a new server room with all of the cutting-edge amenities, like functioning firewalls, drives that work, air conditioning, and a roof that doesn't leak." --http://thedailywtf.com/articles/Hallway_ERP

@6989. public class Patient extends JavascriptStringBuilder

@6990. "Do not make online appointments for emergencies." --St. Olaf Health Services email

@6991. "However, we normally select names that help us to remember what they represent." --_Programming in Prolog_

@6992. "Do not eat freshness packet." --buried in a paragraph of warnings on a medicine bottle

@6993. "How to tell if your Galaxy Note 7 might explode" --headline, after Samsung issued a recall on all of them

@6995. I was remembering the other day that when I was younger, I thought jaywalking was "J-walking," and was always puzzled about what kind of a J shape was made when you jaywalked. (Cf. #6031.)

@6996. "Thank you very much for boarding with us." --conductor on the Empire Builder, thanking everyone for riding with Amtrak

@6999.
for (int i = 0; i < 100; i++)
{
    save(); //Save the document for 100 times to ensure it has been saved successfully.
}

@7003. Six blind elephants were discussing what men were like. After arguing they decided to find one and determine what it was like by direct experience. The first blind elephant felt the man and declared, 'Men are flat.' After the other blind elephants felt the man, they agreed.
{BL #7616}

@7006. "Purple Centuries" --#hypnagogia

@7007. "Don't look at the side, but at the red thing that shows who you are." --#hypnagogia

@7009. "You sing unison, you're buck naked to the world. And that looked real good this time." --Dr. Armstrong

@7014. "If someone claims to have a characterization of all theorems, but it takes him infinitely long to deduce that some particular string is not a theorem, you would probably tend to say that there is something lacking in that characterization." --_Gödel, Escher, Bach_

@7015. "And, yeah, I thank god for those little stand-up cards in hotel rooms saying 'Here at PlasticHotelCorp we passionately believe that inane motivational slogans are a great substitute for actual quality' which are ideal for standing in front of the various TVs, clocks and other power lights opposite the bed." --Slashdot comment

@7017.
NO SOLICITING
- We are too broke to buy anything.
- We know who we are voting for.
- We have already found Jesus.
Seriously, unless you're giving away free beer, GO AWAY.
--seen on a house door in Northfield

@7018. "That coffee sounds good." --me

@7020. The past two days the caf has not had oatmeal, which I can't understand. Usually when there are apparent shortages it has to do with price, but surely oatmeal must be literally the cheapest thing they have for breakfast. And if they really ran out, how the hell do you accidentally run out of oats?
{BL #7487}

@7022. "For instance, if you wanted to find some piece of your DNA which accounts for the shape of your nose or the shape of your fingerprint, you would have a very hard time. It would be a little like trying to pin down *the* note in a piece of music which is the carrier of the emotional meaning of the piece. Of course there is no such note, because the emotional meaning is carried on a very high level, by large "chunks" of the piece, not by single notes." --_Gödel, Escher, Bach_

@7023. "This article is about, for, about redundancy, which is defined as saying something more than once, or over again, or more than once, which is called redundancy, which is what this article is about." --_Smartgeek News_, issue 5

September 13, 2016
@7025. (with malice) "Yeah, he picked his Pause shift the same as mine." --#overheard in the quad

@7026. "I don't pay $50,000 a year to get watery orange juice." --#overheard in the caf line

@7027. "If only we still threatened each other with writing poetry!" --Kirby, of Catullus 12

@7028. "the old chicken coup"

@7029. "A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday." --Alexander Pope

@7031. "I mean, it's research. You don't know what you're going to do." --RAB
{BL #7083}

@7032. "Wait, why do I have 'cart'?" --Holden, squinting at his gloss

@7033. "What are you ruining my rule for!? Catullus, you load!" --Dr. May, on the use of 'fere' rather than 'fer'

September 16, 2016
@7034. "Did I get rescheduled? [checks calendar] No, that was a dream. I thought so." --me
(Cf. #5525.)

@7037. At the top of a library record, I see "Multiple sources exist: see all". I click "see all" and am taken to a search results page with 0 hits.

@7044. This architectural drawing video we've been assigned is *hilarious* -- narrated by a guy with a heavy British accent, with silly 80s music and sound effects.

@7045. From the above: "Before starting your drawing, it is worth checking that it will fit onto your paper."

@7046. "There is not much we can do about such metaphors except to state that that is precisely what they are." --Jaynes on the changing ways of looking at consciousness and the brain

@7047. "If understanding a thing is arriving at a familiarizing metaphor for it, then we can see that there always will be a difficulty in understanding consciousness. For it should be immediately apparent that there is not and cannot be anything in our immediate experience that is like immediate experience itself." --Jaynes on the changing ways of looking at consciousness and the brain

@7049. "This will be one of the primary things I learned from college: how to trill my Rs." --me
{BL #9104}

@7050. I just googled Psalm 22 because I was too lazy to get up and go to the closet to get my Bible...

@7051. "The altos are coming like Amazon Brunhilde." --Dr. Armstrong

@7053. "Food, drink or shoes prohibited in this dance studio"
Take your pick.

@7054.
First Young Man: "Get ready for 9 degrees Fahrenheit."
Second Young Man: "Fahrenheit?! Oh my God."
--#overheard in the quad

@7056.
There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
  When asked why that was,
  He replied "It's because
I always try to cram as many words into the last line as ever I possibly can."

@7057. "Once I sat with two skilled tasters drinking a wine that Robert Parker had rated at 100 points--his highest rating. How would you describe it? I asked a man noted for his eloquence. He closed his eyes and sighed. 'It's *good*.'" --_When God Talks Back_, p. 61

@7058. "Sometimes when we think it's the spirit moving, it's just our burrito from lunch." --_When God Talks Back_, p. 61

@7059. "I was looking for something that seemed trivial but not as commonplace as parking. Even atheists pray about parking." --_When God Talks Back_, p. 61

@7060. "Eskimo bile flashcards" --thank you autocorrect for your kind recasting of my poorly typed "AnkiMobile"

@7061. "Please do not request your textbooks from Interlibrary Loan." --notice at the top of the ILL page
I can see that people would do it and why they therefore need the notice, but it's pretty funny that someone would think that was actually a reasonable way to obtain their textbooks.

@7062. "Maybe she had like an acid trip while she was playing Pokemon or something, because that's definitely not a feature." --#overheard at the Mellby desk

@7063. "In a church like the Vineyard, Christians are supposed to experience themselves as unconditionally loved. This...is quite difficult for human beings, whether or not the lover is invisible." --_When God Talks Back_, 101

@7064. "If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization." --Gerald Weinberg

@7065. "Anyone going slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster is a maniac." --George Carlin

@7066. "To a surprising degree, it doesn't matter which system [for searching systematically] you use, so much as whether you use any system at all." --_Debugging by Thinking_, p.51

@7067. "It is possible to look right at a problem in code and not see it. This happens because you confuse what you know the code is supposed to do with what it is actually doing." --_Debugging by Thinking_, p.51

@7068. "Society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they will never sit in." --Greek proverb, via Benjamin Studebaker

September 22, 2016
@7069. I #misread a gloss of "praeruptos" as "sleep" rather than "steep." The line didn't make much sense that way...

@7071. "You can't go out for a drink or anything there, women." --Dr. Armstrong

@7072. "So he got in trouble for doing literally nothing wrong, except for having a *pencil*." --#overheard near Hill-Kitt

@7073. Eric and I ran into a strange bug with our isosceles_triangle Prolog predicate tonight, and after a couple of minutes of studying the code I noticed that I had written the point (2,0) as (0,2) on the whiteboard (and copied it wrong into the test).

@7074. 6-Day Visit To Rural African Village Completely Changes Woman's Facebook Profile Picture

@7075. "Some people may not realize how difficult it is to do the simple [music] well. It is very hard as there is nothing to hide the mistakes."
(Cf.: Quick, now, here, now, always / A condition of complete simplicity / (Costing not less than everything)...)

@7076. "I am trying to get our Zebra label printer to work on [Mary's] computer. When Mary is logged in, the label prints, but very faintly. The odd thing is, when I log in, the label prints fine." --WebHelpDesk ticket

@7077. "Would that be internalism then, if it was just your immortal soul?" --#overheard in the quad

@7078.
Person 1: "...getting into perceptions of human beauty."
Person 2: "Like...asking if he thinks *he's* beautiful?"
--#overheard in the north stairs of Boe

@7079. "Thank for your celerity." --#ankiforums

@7080. Two fun facts about lutefisk preparation from Wikipedia:
1. Lutefisk should always be cleaned off all dishes it's placed on immediately; if you leave it overnight, it becomes nearly impossible to remove.
2. Lutefisk can permanently damage silver utensils used in its preparation or consumption.

@7081. "Many people use computers to do operations on numbers." --_Programming in Prolog_

@7082. "The Cannon River is very slowly rising in Northfield, is currently at 900.8 feet..." --NWS flood warning

@7083. "If I knew what I was doing, it wouldn't be called research." --attrib. to Einstein
(Cf. #7031.)

@7084. "I once received a bounce from a[n email] message over a year after I'd sent it (probably about 20 years ago). Best I could figure, it had been sitting on a system which had been taken off the network for awhile but was later powered up." --SuperUser comment

@7085. "Turns out we were converting dew point from Fahrenheit to Celsius...to miles." --change list of the Weather Underground iPhone app

@7086.
Love the [new programming language's] name ['have']. Especially I love trying to find any information on this bloody language:
* have tutorial
* have language tutorial
* have programming language tutorial
* have to go transpiler
* how to program in have
* have wiki
Next up, a webserver written in have called "the", a debugger for the language called "how", and IDE for it named "it" -- "debugging the with how in it".
--Slashdot comment

And I thought 'C' and 'R' were bad enough.

@7087. "See, I actually like people." --Katharina, in a discussion of rubber-duck debugging

@7089. "So this is a lot of clothes, I'm guessing, that are not on her." --Kirby

@7093. I just spent about 30 seconds trying to figure out what "sat." meant in this commentary, thinking it was some grammatical abbreviation I didn't know, only to realize that it just means the past tense of "to sit", at the end of a sentence...

@7094. "Trump is so cool! How do you not want to, like, marry this guy?" --#overheard in the next dorm room, from a group of people watching the first Clinton-Trump debate (evidently Trump supporters)

@7095. "You have to be the small little birds, not hitting the window." --Dr. Armstrong, to the tenors, of their solo in "O Schöne Nacht"

@7096. "...as long as you keep your noses out of the sky..." --Dr. Armstrong, on the conditions under which people from other choirs respect Ole Choir

@7097. I was reminded recently of someone who talked about being in the "legendary corner" at Christmas Festival: that is, between Ole Choir, Cantorei, Manitou, and Viking, where people singing four different parts are standing immediately next to each other.

@7098.
Student: "Will there be questions on, like, what part of speech that is?"
Dr. May: "Nah. I'm hoping you're beyond that. But you're not, are you?"

@7100. "Experimental work encourages the development of many new skills, but I had not expected expertise in Apple's GarageBand to be among them." --_When God Talks Back_

@7101.
Same problem on Win and Android
catastrophe!
fix!
--#ankiforums

@7103. "People stay with this God not because the theology makes sense but because the practice delivers emotionally. Under these conditions, it is often when prayer requests fail that prayer practice becomes most satisfying.......In mainstream churches, one has the sense that to pray so specifically is not only unseemly but unwise: that to do so is to tempt fate." --_When God Talks Back_

@7104. "The leader explained to us that scientists had discovered that if you slow down the sounds a cricket makes, you will find that the cricket is actually singing the Hallelujah Chorus to Handel's _Messiah_." --_When God Talks Back_

@7105. "The problem of faith is not finding the idea of God plausible but sustaining that belief in the face of disconfirmation." --_When God Talks Back_

@7106. "Going to church weekly, as compared to not going at all, has the same effect on reported happiness as moving from the bottom quartile of the income distribution to the top quartile. That's a jump." --_When God Talks Back_

@7107. "The British ethnographer Godfrey Lienhardt...was with a Dinka man hurrying back to his family in the late afternoon when the man stopped to tie a knot in the grass to prevent the sun from going down. Lienhardt realized that the man didn't think that the knot would hold the sun up, as if it were a string to tie a ball. Tying the knot was a way of making his hope more real for him." --_When God Talks Back_

@7109. "I found sand in my ear *today*." --#overheard in the vestibule of CHM

@7110. "This modern God is 'hyperreal': realer than real, so real that it is impossible not to understand that you may be fooling yourself, so real that you are left suspended between what is real and what is your imagination. In literature, this style of representation is called 'magical realism,' where the supernatural appears unpredictably and blends almost seamlessly into the natural world, as if the magical were real and the prosaically real were imaginary, and both perspectives are real and true together." --_When God Talks Back_, 301

@7112. "The most direct evidence for God--the evidence of one's senses--is also the clearest evidence for folly or madness. That in-your-face contradiction punches home the need to suspend disbelief, to create an epistemological space that is safe and resilient." --_When God Talks Back_

@7113. "It is, in effect, a third kind of epistemological commitment: not materially real like tables and chairs; not fictional, like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs; but a different conceptual space defined by the insistence that you must suspend disbelief and so by the awareness that disbelief is probable. We saw that ambiguity in the serious play of 'let's pretend' prayer. We saw that in play, there is a 'play frame' and a 'reality frame,' and when we play, we act within the play frame. But when evangelicals pray to God in a back-and-forth dialogue--when they go on date night and sit on a park bench with God's arm around their shoulders, when they ask God which shirt they should wear that morning or which medical school he thinks they should attend--the play frame is also and self-consciously a reality frame. They know that they are 'pretending' to talk to God. Much in the way they talk about their interaction indicates that they know that this is not 'really' God. Yet congregants also insist that the daydream-like prayer is a way of encountering God. It is play but not play, the place where the distinction between belief and make-believe breaks down." --_When God Talks Back_

@7114. "And it seems quite likely that the closely held sense of a personal relationship with God, always there, always listening, always responsive, and always with you, diminishes whatever isolation there is in modern social life. The route to this God is complex and subtle, at once childlike and sophisticated, drawing on skills and practices found throughout human history but doing so in a form specific to this time and space. It is a process through which the loneliest of conscious creatures can come to experience themselves as in a world awash with love." --_When God Talks Back_

@7115. "This is, perhaps, not exactly what Paul had in mind, but he would have agreed that unconditional love is hard to understand and that, once grasped, it changes whatever else you thought you understood." --_When God Talks Back_

@7116. What did the Italian say about his ripped pants? "Euripides -- Eumenides."
--qtd. by Dr. May

@7117. "But if you use the kinesthetics, it works. *Duh.*" --Dr. Armstrong

@7118. "There we go. Ole Choir diction solves everything." --me
(Cf. #5996.)

@7119. "Intersections are the most dangerous place when you're a cyclist. I see cyclists blowing through a stop sign without even looking. What I want to see is people looking, before they enter an intersection: so look, both ways! Twice! And if you see a policeman, then come to a complete stop." --bicycle policeman

(The guy who shared this also commented that if you don't notice the policeman, then you weren't looking well enough.)

@7120. "It's that 'almost all the time' thing that eventually leads to either running over an innocent pedestrian or hitting a tree."

September 30, 2016
@7126. Good solution to a test failing: remove it!
Granted, I had removed the *feature* the test was trying to test. But it still feels funny...

@7131. "About to commit seppuku" --#ankiforums subject

@7132. "rat rant" --autocorrect of "latrant"

@7134. "In order to show you the most relevant results, we have omitted some entries very similar to the 0 already displayed. If you like, you can repeat the search with the omitted results included." --Google

@7135. So, thinking it was hilarious, I recently downloaded a Chrome extension that replaces all instances of "millennials" with "snake people." While I do kind of chuckle every time I see the phrase "snake people" on a website, I have to admit I also find it quite relieving not to have to be reading millennials this, millennials that all over the place. (And having it turned into "snake people" actually creates the relief, even though I know perfectly well that the phrase *means* "millennials".) I don't really have a good explanation for why it's annoying; maybe it's a reaction against stereotyping, maybe just that people are saying really inane things about "us" so much. But it is, and the extension actually helps.

@7136. "I haven't actually read the whole _Iliad_. Even in English. ...Well, I definitely haven't read it in Greek, because I don't know Greek. That was a stupid thing to say." --me, talking to my parents on the phone

@7138. "Wisdom is what one gains from making mistakes. Talent allows you to skip making mistakes in the first place." --Slashdot comment

@7141. "I need to take out three words." --me, of my World Architecture essay

@7144. "If a horse enters a man's house, and bites either an ass or a man, the owner of the house will die and his household will be scattered." --Akkadian proverb, qtd. in Jaynes, p.237

@7145. "Poems are rafts clutched at by men drowning in inadequate minds." --Jaynes, 256

@7148. Subjunctive of Unfulfilled Obligation

@7150. "Usually it's like constipated pigs up there." --Dr. Armstrong, commending the basses

@7151. "I have a question about measure 36. Should we make the pause a bit more pregnant...since it's after 'Mary'?" --Sebastian

@7153.
(/ . / / / || . . / . / x; / . . / x)
Making Sapphics isn't that easy, shackling
Our reluctant language with trochees. Since you
First begot them, songstress of Lesbos, keep them.
  I'll never write them.
--John Lee

@7154. "An unfortunate fact is that adhesions are unavoidable in surgery, and the main treatment for adhesions is more surgery." --Wikipedia

@7156. "In the realm of utopian ideals, it's not a bad one." --me, of Ben Studebaker's proposal to make Linux (and all related free software) publicly funded

@7157.
A decrepit old gas man named Peter,
While hunting around for the meter,
  Touched a leak with his light.
  He arose out of sight,
And, as anyone can see by reading this, he also destroyed the meter.

@7158. "Like many college students, I wrestle with the question: does my passion for pizza implicitly support the patriarchy?" --a hilarious article in the Mess, "Pizza promotes far right political agenda"

@7159. So today I read a news article saying that nearly 2,000 students at some university in Ghana have submitted a petition to remove a statue of Gandhi from their campus. The reason being that Gandhi was actually a somewhat racist person. Now I did not know the extent of this, but I'm willing to believe it. And okay, he was racist toward African people when he was in South Africa. But where is this going to stop? Apparently the new rule is that for someone to be honored, they have to be perfect in every way. Maybe I should just point out that if you insist that a human being has held no views and taken no significant actions that offend anyone in any way before honoring her, we are never going to honor any person ever again. I'm not sure if the people waging these campaigns have ever tried to follow their campaign to its logical conclusion, if indeed it did succeed beyond their wildest dreams.

Maybe my point is: We should honor great things that people have done, and there is no reason that it should be impolitic to honor the people who made them happen. It's fine to make widely known that Gandhi was racist, and in fact it's good for people to know the dark sides of their heroes, if only to demonstrate that nobody is in fact perfect. It's not fine to say that Gandhi sucks and we should pretend he didn't exist except in the history books because he held some views that are repellent to most modern minds. Because he did, you know, kind of bring about India's independence non-violently, among other things.

@7160. "The more you learn about the R language, the worse it will feel. The development environment suffers from literally decades of accretion of stupid hacks from a community containing, to a first-order approximation, zero software engineers. R makes me want to kick things almost every time I use it."
--"aRrgh: a newcomer's (angry) guide to R", http://arrgh.tim-smith.us/

@7161. "New languages exist to reduce the boilerplate inherent in old languages." --https://eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/

@7162. "Rhymes, meters, stanza forms, etc., are like servants. If the master is fair enough to win their affection and firm enough to command their respect, the result is an orderly happy household. If he is too tyrannical, they give notice; if he lacks authority, they become slovenly, impertinent, drunk and dishonest." --Auden
{BL #11479}

@7165. "If you listen carefully [to this story], at the end you'll be someone else." --Vyasa, _Mahabharata_

October 09, 2016
@7166. Happy seventh birthday to Random Thoughts!

@7167. "A very odd tea." --review of Adagio's ginger tea (I quite agree)

@7168. "[D]on't place [ellipses] at the end of sentences so you do not need to argue with anyone if it should be three dots plus a full stop." --Stack Exchange comment

@7170. "It is not clear what the main body of the poem, a digression on man's fatal audacity, has to do with Virgil [the subject of the poem]." --Garrison's commentary to Horace, Odes 1.3

@7171. "We have an unambiguous, cross-platform way to represent "PILE OF POO", while we're still debating which of the 1.2 billion native Chinese speakers deserve to spell their own names correctly." --https://modelviewculture.com/pieces/i-can-text-you-a-pile-of-poo-but-i-cant-write-my-name

@7173. #overheard in the music library:
Person 1: "The piano part's always right."
Person 2: "Unless it's a piano part that I made."

@7174. "I've been rismeading that note." --me

@7177. An analog to putting the horse before the cart, suggested by Allen's example of incorrect syntax: "putting the else before the if"

@7178. "Hi Mood-lay. Log in with Goog-lay." --me

@7179. Mplayer just quit working entirely at random. I don't think it was after I ran updates either. Fixed it by adding 'ao=alsa' to my ~/.mplayer/config after some google searching, but that was irritating.

@7180. This isn't a common reason to have your studies interrupted:
"Prudhomme attended the Lycée Bonaparte, but eye trouble interrupted his studies."

@7181. "Freaky things happen on tour. Freaky." --Dr. Armstrong
(I dunno, SpringHill Suites *was* pretty freaky.)

@7185. Hapax Legomenon: I love the term, but I also think it's about the most ostentatious term I know.

@7186. "Research has shown that people tend to focus on those aspects of a problem that are emotionally or psychologically interesting, rather than those that are logically important." --_Debugging by Thinking_

@7187. "Some of computing's most infamous bugs have been caused by transcription errors. Omitting or inserting a blank or period for a comma can be very expensive, even fatal." --_Debugging by Thinking_
See 'goto fail;'.

@7188. "Writing down designs has the desirable side effect of delaying coding. As soon as you start coding, you start introducing bugs into your software." --_Debugging by Thinking_

@7189. "For a good overview of Virtue Ethics, we recommend (ref)." --in the first chapter of the ESD textbook RAB sent my Capstone team

@7190. "N.B. I don't actually charge per line of code." --note on an example invoice

@7191. I just cackled because I finally learned how to not highlight the closing quote in attribution color in Random Thoughts. (Though I must admit, now it looks weird, since I've been using it that way for at least five years.)

@7193. "Trump breaks his own world record for being appalling on a weekly basis." --New York Times op-ed

@7194. "That sounds like either a Manitou singer or a pop singer trying to sing art songs." --me, of someone singing in the Mellby lounge

@7195. "One of the intrinsic features of life on a boat is the ever-present danger of falling into the water." --_Traditions in Architecture_

@7196. "Carefully read how many candidates you may vote for. If ballot is two-sided, be sure to vote both sides." --my Indiana absentee ballot

@7197. "If you think I'm making excuses, I am." --Prof. Allen

@7198. "Doctors Significantly Better Than Google, According To New Research" --#stupidheadlines 2 (me)

@7199. Just spent three minutes removing a small rock from my keyboard. It just kept sliding around under other keys...

@7201. "Why the *hell* is there a tuning fork in my tea drawer?" --me

@7203.
Ytterboe - 1900-1989
Get Ytt while you can.
--T-shirt, seen in the caf line

@7205. Random amateur linguistics theory, in response to the question of why the most common words (e.g., to be) tend to have such irregular forms. I wonder if part of the answer is that they give more information, while being easy to remember because they're so common. This goes along with the theory of gender marking that I read about recently: in languages that have grammatical gender, the genders tend to be more or less randomly assigned, because if they were not, then words that were discussed next to each other would tend to be the same gender, which would eliminate the entire benefit of being better able to distinguish between them with pronoun references. The problem with grammatical gender, of course, is that it adds a lot of complexity and sources of error, which is why many languages (particularly, I note, ones with less culturally homogeneous speakers) have tended to get rid of them or simplify the systems over time. I submit that making a very common verb irregular in a way that adds more information (for instance, in English, marking more person/number combinations with unique forms) may be an easy way to add additional information without adding significant corresponding mental load.

@7206. "The fortresses of Caesar and the templates of the gods lie in the swamp." --me, translating Hildebert
(To be fair, if we're assuming C++, I think there probably are some templates only the gods can understand.)

@7207. "[I got these donuts] from Quality Bakery. They don't say whether it's high or low quality." --Prof. Brunelle

@7209. "The Hill-Kitt printer is 'broken', according to a voicemail from a caller who did not leave her name or other information." --WebHelpDesk ticket

@7210. "Don't crap on the cadence!" --Dr. Armstrong

@7211. "The typeblock has to be located on the page." --memoir manual, page 16

@7212. "A common position for the folio is towards the fore-edge of the page, either in the header or the footer. This makes it easy to spot when thumbing through the book. It may be placed at the center of the footer, but unless you want to really annoy the reader do not place it near the spine." --memoir manual, page 16
I actually saw a book that did this once. And I was annoyed.

@7213. "Some books put the book title into one of the headers, usually the verso one, but I see little point in that as presumably the reader knows which particular book he is reading, and the space would be better used providing more useful signposts." --memoir manual, page 16
(Cf. #3684.)

@7214. "There's more wisdom than ignorance." --me, of the categories in my Overheard book

@7215. "Error messages can be terrifying when you aren't prepared for them; but they can be fun when you have the right attitude. Just remember that you really haven't hurt the computer's feelings, and that nobody will hold the errors against you." --Donald Knuth, _The TeXbook_

October 17, 2016
@7217. So the author of the memoir LaTeX documentclass evidently decided that, since it was copying a bunch of features from the 'verse' package, it shouldn't use the exact same macro names. The solution is apparently to capitalize half-arbitrary letters in the macros:

\poemtitle -> \PoemTitle
\poemtitlefont -> \PoemTitlefont
\beforepoemtitleskip -> \beforePoemTitleskip

Inevitably, of course, you end up inadvertently using a lowercase macro, or misspelling one of the uppercase ones, and then wondering why in the world it doesn't work.

@7218. "Kellaris produced statistics suggesting that songs with lyrics may account for 73.7% of earworms, whereas instrumental music may cause only 7.7%."
So the other 19.6% are...what exactly?

@7219. "Catullus' Extramarital Kingdom" --#hypnagogia

@7220. "Now people can't write the N-word on a comment card, so they'll write it on a piece of paper and tape it to the wall. #progress!" --me

@7221. "Now, when I try to go back, I feel as if I'm swimming through a syrupy sea of eye candy in which all the fish speak in incommensurable metaphors."
--of using a GUI, from #4235

@7222. "An art history exam without pictures is like a day without sunshine, honey." --Prof. Kucera

@7223. "The first of four odes in which Horace mentions being nearly hit by a falling tree." --Garrison's commentary to Horace, Odes 2.13

October 20, 2016
@7224. "In effect, the designers of the F-35 were so busy making it innovative that they forgot to make it work." --JMG

@7225. "Let's hope it's the last! Smiley-face. Thumbs-up." --Prof. Ziegler-Graham, #overheard talking to another professor inside her office

@7226. "Hey, I have an idea. Let's argue about it for 5 minutes!" --Sigrid, on our uncoordinated attempt to tell her what pieces we were singing for Christmas Festival

@7227. "That was the Schoenberg arrangement [of "Stay With Us"]." --Sigrid, after neglecting to give the women their pitch

@7229. "It hasn't changed a bit. It's like driving a Rolls-Royce." --Sigrid, of conducting Ole Choir

@7232. "Wait, that was why you were constipated?" --#overheard in the quad

@7233.
There is an old example of how scientific proof can be obtained for the conclusion that you actually want.

A scientist puts a flea on the table and shouts at it: "Jump!" And the flea jumps.

Then the scientist carefully cuts off the flea's legs, puts it back on the table and shouts: "Jump!" And the flea does not jump.

The scientist happily writes down in his notebook: "After it lost its legs, the flea cannot hear anymore."
--Slashdot comment

@7234. "If humans had the jumping power of a flea, a 1.8-m (6-ft) person could make a jump 90 m (295 ft) long and 49 m (160 ft) high." --Wikipedia

@7235. [Having to solve your tech problems yourself] actually costs your company a lot more, then, not less.

The trick, of course, is that it's a hidden cost that is virtually impossible to tally on a spreadsheet: your productivity is lost while you fix that problem. Did it take you an hour, where a tech might have taken 10 minutes? Did it take you several days when a tech might have had it cleared up in an afternoon? Who gets paid more for their time, you or the tech? That's a cost that's really hard to quantify, and so gets completely ignored.

My favorite example of this is when I worked as a hardware depot manager for one site of a huge global corporation. IT management issued a mandate that said hardware depots could only keep X amount of stock on hand at any given time and could only order new stock when it was gone. New stock orders also required the personal approval of the #3 guy in IT management.

I regularly went through my stock in about a week, week and a half, and it would take two weeks or more to receive a new pallet of computers to refresh my stock. Furthermore, as you might expect, the #3 guy in IT is a pretty busy guy, so he would sometimes take up to a week to approve my stock orders.

In the end, IT saved millions globally because their stock orders were drastically reduced, yet on the local level you had engineers being paid upwards of $1000 a day to twiddle their thumb while they wait for their $500 computer to arrive. But IT doesn't see one dime of that cost. In fact, unless a department gets hit with a flood of new hires who need new computers, it's likely none of the local departments will see a big enough impact on their budget to formally complain to IT about the process. Yet the company's cost saving methods caused a $500 computer to cost upwards of $20,000, and all of it is hidden from the bean counters.
--Slashdot comment

@7236. "Second score of the first bar." --Sigrid

@7237. I was remembering the other day that at the Pizza Hut in Valpo (where I used to go to redeem certificates for free pizzas from the "Book It!" reading program we did at CMS), there used to be a bell on the door. But instead of sounding a bell, a loud recorded voice would announce, "There are customers in the queue."

@7239. "Farting as a defense against unspeakable dread" --title of a scientific paper

@7240. gloria patri et filio et spiritui sancto, sicut erat in principio et nunc et semper et in saecula saeculorum.

@7241. Due to stray carriage returns in the specs section of the description of this Moleskine notebook, it contains the line "Dimensions: 3." Glad they're not selling me a Flatland notebook.

@7244. So somebody drew a line in pen on a score from the music library, and then either they or the librarians used white-out on top of it, which is not even the same color as the page. So much better...

October 23, 2016
@7248. "The ethical thing should not be to kill me." --Conrad

@7251. Whitaker's says this word could mean either "master, owner" or "hedgehog." Might be a tough distinction to make.

October 25, 2016
@7252. "Everyone follow the Greek? ...This is Latin. The Latin." --Dr. May

@7255.
One of my favorite moments was a hymn listed in the program as "Alleluia," which was just a slow 8-bar progression on, whaddayaknow, "alleluia." There was nothing to it, and after the choir sang it once or twice Stover brought us in. Nobody knew exactly what to do, but it was incredibly easy to find notes that worked and it sounded amazing. Seeing the program afterwards (I didn't have one at the time, remember!), it just said "harmonize freely." A good plan for life in general, I think. :-)
--CB43.63-4
{BL #9440}

@7256. "Well, this is certainly going to be memorable." --me on the occasion of getting stranded in Chicago, CB43.29

October 26, 2016
@7258. "Usually the machines these things run on are deterministic." --Prof. Allen, after a Prolog program behaved differently on three consecutive runs for no apparent reason

@7259. "We do ought to play some Horace." --me, for "we ought to read some Horace"

@7260. I'm pretty sure these are the funniest two lines I've read in Horace so far:
  quos inter Augustus recumbens
  purpureo bibet ore nectare

@7261. You know you're in for it when the commentary calls the next poem "Horace's longest and most difficult ode"...

@7262. "So run to their arms. Metaphorically, I mean." --Dr. Hibbard, to the women entering after the men

@7263. "Peace...and love...and hope...and joy...and...everything!" --Dr. Hibbard, running out of text to quote from Jessye's Carol

@7265. "Let me put that in a more positive way. We always sing towards *truth*. In life and in this piece." --Dr. Hibbard

@7266. "Besides, when I turn off wife while keeping Anki Web account open logged in all my flashcards's number goes down to 1 on application." --#ankiforums #whoopstypo

@7267. "Can't use my own software." --me, getting confused by active limits in Tabularium
(Cf. #6308.)

@7268. "I decided, hey, let's not look like garbage today." --#overheard in Fosnes

@7269. "That A-flat sounded slimy." --Dr. Armstrong

@7270. "I've never even heard of 'subdivide'." --someone next to me in Ben's lab choir

@7271. Somebody's practicing piano in the computer lab under my room, and it's getting *really* annoying. I'm all for playing piano, but we have these nifty things called "practice rooms" at the college so other people don't have to listen to you practice.

@7274. "Wait until you hear the 90/10 rule for software project duration: '90% of the project will take up the first 90% of the allotted time; the last 10% of the project will take up the other 90% of the allotted time.'" --Stack Exchange comment

@7277.
In _The Ethics of Voting_, Jason Brennan illustrates this with a fun hypothetical.

Let's say you're voting in a major national election. Brennan suggests that there are just over 122 million voters, the same number that voted in the presidential election in 2004. Brennan models a very close election–each citizen has a 50.5% chance of voting for candidate A and a 49.5% chance of voting for candidate B. To add in a sweetener to encourage you to vote, if your candidate wins the election, you will personally receive $33 billion in benefits, far more than any individual citizen receives as a result of any real world election. How much do you think your vote is worth to you given those parameters?

Brennan did the math, and calculated that even given these parameters, your vote is only worth $4.77 X 10^-2650. That's 2,648 orders of magnitude less than the value of a penny. Indeed, even if you were to receive ten thousand million trillion dollars if your candidate won, the expected value of your vote would still be thousands of orders of magnitude below a penny.  Bear in mind, this is modelling a very close election in which you are to be awarded a fabulously unrealistic sum in the event your candidate wins. In a normal election, or worse, a normal election that will be decided by more than half a percentage point, the expected value of your vote is thousands of times smaller.
--Ben Studebaker's blog

Another nice comparison I just estimated: If instead of one election we run a trillion elections every day for the next 100 billion years (far longer than we can expect to be here), and your candidate only has to win one, we remove about 25 orders of magnitude from that figure. -2650 is *mind-bogglingly* small; there is no human way to account for all of those orders.

@7279. "Do you know you're associated with the Virgin Mary? I'm sure it does. It's an intellectual ladybug." --me
(You can tell it's 11:30 at night both because I'm saying these things and because I'm writing them down.)

@7283. "Just a little reminder that when we're singing softly we don't slow down." --Dr. Feldt

@7284. The Project Gutenberg edition of _Flame and Shadow_ that I've been reading was edited by "A. Light." When I read this I was giggling for about half a minute.

@7285.
Let this single hour atone
For the theft of all of me.
--Sara Teasdale, "August Moonrise", from _Flame and Shadow_

@7287. "When you look at it architecturally, what do you see?" / "Well, it's very beautiful."

@7289. "The power of pianissimo in a choir of this size is overwhelming." --Mark Stover

@7293. "No distribution of child pornography" --one of the six rules on the Rizon IRC network

November 01, 2016
@7294. "We took away the headphone jack, and then we took away everything else." --press release from the designers of the NoPhone Air

@7295. Well, looks like the Cubs might still pull this off...game 6 of the World Series, trailing 3-2 games after 3-1, and just hit a grand slam in the third inning, up 7-0.

@7296. "It's a great time of the year to get out and play ball." --commercial
Somehow I think the folks who ran this commercial don't live in Minnesota.

@7298. "Fully 55% of traffic on the dark web is legal"
High standard there.

@7306. "Come on. Quit fouling it so I can leave." --me

@7307. What the hell, a foul bunt in a clutch situation...
(I didn't even know there was a rule that that means that's a strikeout...)

@7308. Now overtime, and a 15-minute rain delay between the ninth and the tenth.

@7309. One guy tonight on the Cubs has made two errors, hit a home run, and fouled out on that bunt. Fun night.

@7312. Cubs win!

November 03, 2016
@7315. "You can sing a lot lower than I can." --JW, singing first tenor, to me, singing second bass

@7316. "Fun fact: the Cubs 1907/08 world series wins were closer in time to the death of Alexander Hamilton (1804) than to the latest world series win." --Nathan Bouman

@7318. "I was just getting to the word 'soap' when she showed up." --me, trying to regain my train of thought after pausing to talk to Kate, who I ran into randomly in the Natural Lands

@7319. "The moon's a lesbian!" --#overheard shouted across the quad at night

@7320. Got a soggy tea leaf stuck under my tongue and gagged uncontrollably...that was fun.

@7323. Apparently they're remodeling TJE and are not going to have sinks in the classrooms anymore. According to Uncle Jeff, when someone asked why this was, the answer was, "21st century." That was the entirety of the answer and all that was offered.

Yeah, you know, indoor plumbing is so 20th century.

@7328. "The velocity of a pig is falling fast, similar to TJ." --#hypnagogia
(End transcriptions.)

@7330. "You use your lips in other ways to show love-uh. Use them now." --Dr. Armstrong, Choral Day

@7331. "For my senior seminar we summoned a demon and then tried to exorcise it." --#overheard between CHM and Dittmann (in a sarcastic tone, fortunately)

@7332. Before starting to play "Amazing Grace" today, Ben had to take a 15-second delay to remove his binder from his sleeve and carefully roll up his sleeves and flippers, and then he opened his binder and it was upside down. There was stifled giggling from the audience and us.

@7333. "Where'd they get the relic? Bought it at Target?" --Prof. Kucera

@7334. I found the word "release" very faintly penciled in next to "liberat" in one of the Horace odes, and I'm not sure whether I put it there. I don't recall reading the note on it, when I look back, and there's no logical reason I would have skipped ahead several stanzas to write it just before I took a break there. But it looks pretty close to my handwriting, and the previous owner of the book didn't write in any glosses at all (a few lines have been scanned, but that's it). So I'm really not sure, and it's kind of creeping me out actually.

@7335. "I'm just not gonna do that. It's more important to not go insane." --me

@7336. "The rule of thumb is, love thy dissonance." --JBobb

@7337. "Deflation is the Satan of economics." --Evan, on the phone

@7338. I'm not sure whether to be amused or exasperated by the people berating 538 on Twitter about "being so wrong all week." You know, they did give Trump at least a 20% chance of winning the election most of the week. If someone is expected to win 80% of the time, that does mean that one in five times they will lose...

Not to say that there can't be polling and model factors in place as well, but "wrong" is a thoroughly dumb label to pin on a probabilistic statistical model without actually looking at how it was calculated.

Further, of course, sometimes models do give a generally misleading result because of methodological mistakes or imperfections, and that doesn't mean you get all pissed at the people making them. Everyone acknowledges they're educated guesswork, and you analyze why that happened so you do better in the future.

People also seem to be complaining about how the forecast kept changing over the course of the night. There's some fundamental misunderstanding here when a chance says 50%, then you get some additional information and it goes to 75%, then it goes back to 40% the other way, and you complain that the forecast is all over the place. *All of those can be right*, you're just getting more information about where in the distribution you probably are...and would you prefer that they just give one forecast and then give you no more updates ever?

November 09, 2016
@7342. Spot-on:
https://benjaminstudebaker.com/2016/11/09/how-we-let-the-orange-monster-win/

@7343. "I've read essays by people who know Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump personally, and claim that both of them are actually very pleasant people. You know what? I literally couldn't care less. I would be just as likely to vote for a surly misanthrope who loathes children, kicks puppies, and has deviant sexual cravings involving household appliances and mayonnaise, if that person supports the policies I want on the issues that matter to me. It really is that simple." --JMG

@7344. "This is a very famous one....Shut up, Kate! She's laughing at me!" --Dr. May, of Horace 1.22, defending the fact that he'd called almost every Horace poem we'd read so far some version of "famous"
(Transcribing margin notes from Horace.)

@7345. "I always say, 'That's a good one' about every one. Because it is." --Dr. May

@7347. "Buildings often collapsed in antiquity." --Dr. May

@7348. "Hey Dad, this is why you paid [so much money for me to go to college]. Now I know what a fecund glebe is." --Dr. May
{BL CB53.50}

@7351. Why did the scientist replace his doorbell with a knocker? He wanted to be eligible for the no-bell prize.
{BL #8527}

@7352. "How to Take a Non-Crappy Picture of the Moon" --Lifehacker headline

@7354. "If you don't have it [the low F sharp], don't even try it. Just love us by not trying." --Mark Stover

@7355. "Soft doesn't mean late." --Mark Stover

@7356. "There should be a budget item for chocolate." --#overheard outside the IT Helpdesk

@7357. "It was so important to me that I didn't even know it was happening." --Nick Saban, football coach, explaining why he didn't know who won the 2016 presidential election

@7358. "Having stores is a critical component to our success." --spokesperson for Kohl's

November 11, 2016
@7359. So Brianna opened her PDF of her one-slide project proposal this morning in LP to present and found that somehow, instead of placing her proposal in that directory, she had submitted her glasses prescription.

@7362. Happy Veterans Day, if "happy" is the right word for it. Thankful, maybe?

@7363. "On June 15, a court in the Russian city of Rostov-on-Don...fined the English band Deep Purple after finding that the band had illegally performed copyrighted songs at a concert there in October 2008.  The fact that the copyrighted songs were Deep Purple's own songs, to which Deep Purple holds the copyright, does not seem to have affected the outcome of the case." --Lowering the Bar

@7364. "Non-consensual pieing" --Wikipedia

@7370. I was amused yesterday to receive an email telling me that, as a current student at STO, I'm eligible to get free access to the live stream of the Christmas Festival!

@7371. "Let's look up 'virgin' in the Records Project." --me

November 13, 2016
@7372. "One of the great things about the internet is that it can connect you to all sorts of wonderful resources. Unfortunately it also connects you to every abusive, vile, stupid (etc. etc.) person anywhere on the planet." --Slashdot comment

@7375. (See #7327.)
I was giving instructions to a caller once, but his son was the one physically sitting at the computer, so all my instructions had to be relayed. Here's a snippet of the conversation:

Me: "Click on 'start', then select 'shut down', then select 'restart in MS-DOS mode'."
Customer: (to his son) "Ok, press 'start', 'shut up', and 'sit down'!"

The really scary part was what his son said then:

Customer's Son: "Ok, I'm at the C: prompt!"

Do we really want to know what goes on at that house?
--Computer Stupidities, "Miscellaneous Dumbness"

@7376. "Leave your cares and worries in your choir slots." --sentiment of Kenneth Jennings, qtd. by Dr. Armstrong

@7377. "Operate full blast, brains going." --Dr. Armstrong

@7378. "Silly conductor." --Dr. Hibbard, slapping her face

@7379. "You have to be like a young colt dying to get out of its starting block." --JBobb

@7380. "Can we get a *fortepiano* in measure three. It means you sing loud, and then you sing soft." --JBobb, after giving us the marking and then having everyone do nothing special there

@7381.
Woman 1: "Wait, can I date him? What does he look like?"
Woman 2: "Yes. Like Mario."
--#overheard outside the caf

@7382. "This poem has often been neglected. It is not hard to understand why. It features a speaker who is represented as either having or being a giant penis and gives advice on how to pick up boys." --Paul Miller, commentary to Tibullus 1.4

November 15, 2016
@7384. "'I, demented, was imagining a happy life.' Heh. Dummy." --Dr. May, reading from Tibullus

@7387. Accidentally Closing Browser Window With 23 Tabs Open Presents Rare Chance At New Life

@7389. "I can't tell the difference between Bach and Beautiful Savior." --Erik, after starting to move at the wrong spot during the flash-mob rehearsal

@7390. Nisi hoc legere scis...you are stupid
--T-shirt

It would be mildly offensive, but it's pretty much okay because if you can read it you'll think it's funny, and if you can't you won't know what it says!

@7395. "...to mitigate its more stellar advance post Election Day." --news article, of Wal-Mart's profit falling somewhat short of expectations

@7397. "First, he put the singles *on top of* the twenty!" --#overheard by the POs

@7399. The new James Webb space telescope (to launch next year) is so powerful it would be able to see a bumblebee on the moon.

@7400. "Our lessons learned from the Hubble were, if you really care about something, you've got to measure it at least twice," Mather added. "And if you don't get the same answer, you'd better figure out why."
--from the same article

@7402. From CB36.7, a coinage of mine: "buzzshit." It's a portmanteau of "buzzword" and "bullshit," meaning a bunch of marketing crap that sounds important but will probably come to nothing or is meaningless.

@7403. A fine example of buzzshit, and what made me think of it: a Slashdot article saying that "in 5 years, games will move from discrete to indiscrete," meaning that things you do in CPR will affect your gaming experience. (Why anyone except marketers would want this is unexplained.)

@7406. "Remember that thing where Trump started out as a random joke, and then the media covered him way more than any other candidate because he was so outrageous, and gave him what was essentially free advertising, and then he became President-elect of the United States? Is the lesson you learned from this experience that you need 24-7 coverage of the Ku Klux Klan?"
--http://slatestarcodex.com/2016/11/16/you-are-still-crying-wolf/

@7407. "Also, I hear that accusing people of racism constantly for no reason is the best way to get them to vote for your candidate next time around. Assuming there is a next time." --http://slatestarcodex.com/2016/11/16/you-are-still-crying-wolf/

@7408. "Hello bjornstad,I'm an honest user of anki." --#ankiforums (actually a personal email sent to me)

@7409. "The problem with object-oriented languages is they've got all this implicit environment that they carry around with them. You wanted a banana but what you got was a gorilla holding the banana and the entire jungle." --Joe Armstrong

@7410. "I'm torn apart between worlds. Basically, using vim in a highly visual environment with a lot of mouse features feels like soldering a loose wire to a motherboard with a Zippo and a needle, while working with ANY TEXT AT ALL with a 'modern GUI' text editor feels like joining the London Philharmonic Orchestra with a Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Magical Musical Mirror." --Awebb, Arch Linux forum signature

@7412. What is the weirdest subreddit you've accidentally stumbled across?:
/r/asscredit -- A friend asked me what subreddits I browse and AskReddit was one of them. He said "What the fuck is AssCredit?". After we cleared up the misunderstanding and stopped laughing we checked if that actually exists and it does.

@7413. https://www.reddit.com/r/ggggg/

@7414. "Almost 40 percent of Americans would give up sex for a year to never have to worry about being hacked, according to one new study."

@7415. "Some people report to have succeeded in bargaining with their subconscious, but in my experience that's like wrestling an eel. An eel that can read your mind, but doesn't understand what you are saying to it." --comment on /r/LD

@7418. "rainbow theory"

@7419. "Sexually induced sneezing" --Wikipedia article title

@7420. "When you're eating a piece of turkey, think of me. I don't know why you'd think of me." --Dr. May, before Thanksgiving Break

@7422. "Ellipses are extremely important and notoriously annoying to draw."

@7423. "Also, they did a ballistics report on a toilet shooting."
--http://loweringthebar.net/2014/11/teacher-pleads.html

November 26, 2016
@7424. "Imagine Christmas without Amazon!" --judge ordering striking shipping workers to return to work

As I posted underneath the link: "I seem to remember a guy by the name of Theodore Geisel doing something similar once...and guess what? It turned out all right."

@7426. I have accidentally sung at least twice now in "Ring Out, Ye Crystal Spheres," instead of "on hinges hung," "on hunges hing." I'm sure I will not be able to stop thinking of that now.

@7427. "The feature [of a bidet] is 'designed to introduce you to a level of unprecedented comfort,' but, it appears, may also occasionally introduce your ass to an unprecedented level of fire." --http://loweringthebar.net/2007/04/japanese_compan.html

@7429. "big_values too big" --mplayer error

November 28, 2016
@7430. "It seems a bug" --#ankiforums subject

@7431. "When I was a very little boy I was advised to always murmur 'White rabbits' on the first of every month if I wanted to be lucky. From sheer force of unreasoning habit I do it still--when I think of it. I know it to be preposterously ludicrous, but that does not deter me." --Sir Herbert Russell, 1925

@7432. "Spit on the women!" --Dr. Armstrong, trying to get us to use more diction

@7433. "If I had to tell you to back off on the shaping, it would be a victory for all humankind." --JBobb

@7434. "Shall we do it again? Do you mind? I know you mind, but we'll do it." --Dr. Hibbard, during the very long Sunday rehearsal for Christmas Festival

@7437. "He [Frank Lloyd Wright] has a huge ego, he's an architect." --Prof. Kucera

@7438.
% Smashing uppercase letters with diacritics
% ------------------ THIS IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER BE DONE -------------------
% Don't smash anything if we are on the first run to produce the index
\IfFileExists{figures.idx}{
  % Czech uppercase letters with diacritics:
  \DeclareUnicodeCharacter{00C1}{\strut\smash{\' A}} % Á
  [...]
}{}
% ------------------ THAT WAS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER BE DONE ------------------
--found in LaTeX source

@7439. "It diminuendoed too early. Yes, that's a word." --me
(There's a pun on "innuendo" here somewhere. Which would be, by definition, a sort of meta-pun...)

@7440. Today I nearly put my butt right into a toilet -- I was in a big rush and didn't notice the seat was up until I tried to sit down.
I believe there's a whole Wikipedia page on "toilet-related injury."

@7441. "Christmas Chutzpah" --#hypnagogia, seen written on a decorative sign in a frilly cursive font

@7442. "This root, this stem, this flowering shrub" --me, sung to myself instead of "flowering Love" on "His Light in Us"

@7445. Somebody had the brilliant idea two mass choir rehearsals ago to write the list of pieces we were going to rehearse into Word in 100-point font, print out two copies, and paste them up on the walls of Urness. Don't know how nobody has ever thought of that before -- it's regularly almost impossible to tell what piece we're going to do next, and the rehearsals are always planned out ahead of time.

@7449. I just mixed up the Latin words for "stepmother" and "young bull," somehow. That was confusing.

@7450. "So, Energy Transfer Partners has avoided completing an environmental impact study on the pipeline by claiming it is simply a series of 1,536,000 half-acre segments that each qualify under the Nationwide Permit 12 exemption." --article in the Mess

December 02, 2016
@7452. I was just remembering last night that when I was very young, I had a vague notion that the line "far as the curse is found" in "Joy to the World" had something to do with a computer cursor.

@7453. msmtp: cannot set X509 trust file /home/soren/.mutt/DigiCertSHA2HighAssuranceServerCA.crt for TLS session: Success.
What the hell does that mean msmtp. Also, this means none of the emails I've sent in the last couple of days have gone out -- how am I ever going to figure out what they were?

As I just wrote to Nichi: "War is peace, slavery is freedom, ignorance is strength...success is failure."

@7454. "The first man who compared woman to a rose was a poet, the second, an imbecile." --Gerard de Nerval

@7457. Just had an ad pop-up over my YouTube video...advertising an ad-blocker. #ironyoftheday?

December 04, 2016
@7461. I #misread a label on the side of a large food bin on a cart in the caf yesterday as "BULLSHIT." I'm not sure what it was, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't BULLSHIT. That's quite a picture, though!

@7465. "In 2009, Danish football goalkeeper Kim Christensen was caught on camera literally moving the goalposts in order to gain advantage over the opposing team." --Wikipedia

@7466.
It shows I had't do the the anki for this few days, but  I do it this few days
It would be a data to count my course score, please help me to solve it.
--#ankiforums

@7467. "No my computer got crashed and I replaced the window" --#ankiforums

@7470. "So put on your best-dressed holiday dress..." --invitation to a holiday dance

@7471. "Let's have the orchestra at the bottom." --me, pasting pictures of concert halls onto a piece of paper and noticing one was upside down

@7472. "But odd as it is it is one of those economic things which is true." --Forbes article
I wrote sentences like this when I was in about sixth grade, guys.

@7473. "But then again, I don't have an issue with it because I'm Asian, so..." --#overheard outside the caf

@7474. "I mean, both the parties, whenever they make an economic argument, it's complete bullshit." --Evan, on the phone

@7475. "Are we really going to accept an Interface Of The Future that is less expressive than a *sandwich*?"
--http://worrydream.com/ABriefRantOnTheFutureOfInteractionDesign/
{BL #10674}

@7476. "But then I draw stuff by writing postscript from the terminal all the time so maybe I am just weird." --Stack Exchange comment

@7477. "The relevance of the document is that it's not Finnair's fault that Airbus sold them a broken plane. But I don't know if that gets them off the hook, since it's also not your fault that you booked a ticket on an airline that bought a broken plane. Good luck with your compensation claim!" --Stack Exchange comment

December 11, 2016
@7478. "Ole Orchoirestra" --typo made by me

@7479. "qualitative easing"

@7480. On a notebook cover on Amazon:
Question: Does this work with Midori A5
Answer (by seller): There is no green

I *think* this is a legit notebook cover, and it is from Japan, but still makes me a tad suspicious...

@7484. I've started occasionally getting Spanish advertisements on YouTube, which is bizarre seeing as I don't speak Spanish.

@7486. "The first thing a programmer notes while using EFL is that almost nothing works. Upon closer inspection it becomes apparent that things can be forced to somewhat work with a bunch of hacks." --https://what.thedailywtf.com/topic/15001/enlightened

December 13, 2016
@7487. Notice in the caf this morning: "Due to unforeseen circumstances, we are currently out of eggs."
(Better than #7020 though.)

@7488. "I mean, in Great Con we said it like eight hundred times in three days." --#overheard between CHM and Mellby

@7489. "Don't rush it any more than that." --Dr. Armstrong

@7491. "I don't think I used to be an optimist. I think I used to be a narcissist. I figured that when I was a teacher, everything would work out, my kids would be kind and attentive, my lessons would stick, and there would be no behavioral problems or if there are they would quiet down after I give them a friendly talk about why attention is important."
--http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/11/19/genetic-russian-roulette/

(A great article about getting stuck with your kids, however they turn out.)

@7492. I just tried to add an event to Google Calendar while I wasn't connected to the Internet, and the error message I got was, "One or more guests or rooms could not be loaded. Try again in a moment."

@7493. "Any sufficiently complicated C or Fortran program contains an ad hoc informally-specified bug-ridden slow implementation of half of Common Lisp." --Greenspun's Tenth Rule

@7494. Just mixed up Augustus and Ovid, what the hell.

@7495. "We're taking TOC [i.e., Theory of Computing], because we're mental masturbators." --Phil

December 16, 2016
@7496. "Remember that the Lord is merciful, and so am I." --Dr. May, on his allowing me to take the final exam a day late

@7497. "I think you've learned something, in spite of yourselves." --Dr. May, at the end of Latin Lyric

@7499. "If you spend more on coffee than on IT security, you will be hacked. What's more, you deserve to be hacked." --Richard Clarke

@7500. "Students may not...audit an IS/IR or internship." --St. Olaf College Academic Catalog

@7507. "Do not use as earplugs." --on a container of silly putty

@7508.
A man practicing Zen went to his teacher and said, "My meditation is awful. Every time I try to sit, my body aches, or I begin to sleep, or I just can't concentrate."

"It will pass," the teacher replied.

The next week, the man went back to his teacher and said, "My meditation is so much better. When I sit, I feel so calm, relaxed, and focused."

"It will pass," the teacher replied.

@7509. "Oh, it might be nice to bring something to write with, to an exam." --me

@7510. "The donkeys of Alta Fe" --#hypnagogia

@7512. "In the golden president, *somebody's* up there." --#hypnagogia

@7513. "Is it possible to pick a point on each of the four walls on a room such that when they're connected you obtain a perfect square? Does this work in any room? Does it work in my room in Sunnyside? Nobel Prize material, according to my brain." --#latenightvoicememo

Now I do have to say, I'm legitimately curious about this problem.

@7514. "--consult-file options are handled before --consult-file options." --gprolog manual

@7515. "Soren, it looks like someone recently liked your post." --Facebook giving a privacy reminder

December 20, 2016
@7516. "One genuine relationship is worth a fistful of business cards." --The Quiet Revolution Manifesto

@7518. "Where did that go!? I wrote a whole thing about salads!" --me

@7519. "Which of these letters comes first in the alphabet?" / "The symbol on the left is not a letter, sir." / "Damn, you're good!" --_Being John Malkovich_

@7520. "No, [the reason I'm attracted to you] it's your energy, your attitude, the way you carry yourself." / "You're not a fag, are you?" --_Being John Malkovich_

@7521. "That's even better! Hot lesbian witches, man, that's fucking genius!" --_Being John Malkovich_

@7522. "It's a *bus*...it's pretty nice." --phone conversation, #overheard on the bus substituting for the late Empire Builder

@7524. "Wives of gunmen who were charged in the last election" --#hypnagogia

@7526. "We're gonna cut off Nimrod in the middle, because we need to go to bed." --me

December 25, 2016
@7527. "If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company." --Slashdot comment

@7528. "You do your best to turn into a countertop, you know." --#hypnagogia

@7529. Mama and I were looking at the art at the top of the page of "Joseph Dearest, Joseph Mine" and noticing that there was Mary and two men. One must be a shepherd or something, we figured.
Me: (pointing) "That one's Joseph dearest, and that one's Joseph mine."

@7531. "I don't think I had [i.e., recorded] this one yet. If I did, please just ignore it." --me, at the beginning of a dream voice recording

@7532. "I borrowed your Sherlock Holmes book and I forgot to put the lid back on it." --Mama, handing me the dust jacket

@7533. "Then it [a spam email] starts giving a bunch of suggestions for 'improvements' to Christmas Festival, including complaining about how it's not making enough money and trying to convince me that it should not make me feel vulnerable (that's the best part, idiots!)." --report for dream #973

December 29, 2016
@7534. I've noticed recently that I pretty much write topic sentences automatically in most kinds of writing. I rarely go, "Okay, now I need a topic sentence," but if I go back and read what I've written, the first sentences of each paragraph are usually effective that way.

@7535. This is like the man who, when he heard that most people die within five miles of home, said: "I'm moving."

@7537. "historical architecture" --Uncle Jeff, for "archaeology"
(Cf. /r/wildbeef.)

@7539. "I'm not afraid to die, Mr. Donovan. Though, it wouldn't be my first choice." --Russian spy in _Bridge of Spies_

@7541. "It's, like, where we prep ourselves for Jesus' birth." --explanation of Advent, #overheard on the bus

@7542. "Thank you for riding Amtrak!" --driver on the bus substituting for the Empire Builder, upon arriving at Union Station

@7543. "Welcome to Millennium Station" --marquee at the entrance to Van Buren station, right underneath the huge sign identifying it as Van Buren

@7544. "These things are illegal: ...no electronics without headphones" --sign on Metro Transit in St. Paul

@7545. No Dogs Allowed In City Parks
--an odd sign, seen in a small town from the bus

@7546. "sorry you asked not to talk here about anki but I need just to contact you about some features that we may add to anki." --#ankiforums, entirety of the message

@7548. "Let's get a few mundane things out of the side first." --translation of CB45.8, presumably supposed to be "out of the way"

January 01, 2017
@7549. "Please do not carry packages onto the train that were given to you by someone you do not know." --periodic announcement at Union Station, with the woman's phrasing on "do not know" being particularly hilarious

@7550. \thecopyrightbag
--LaTeX macro typoed because I was listening to Union Station's baggage announcement at the time

@7551. Apparently for about a year, for unexplained reasons, Northfield changed its motto from the typical "Cows, Colleges and Contentment" to (I kid you not) "A special place." I don't think we need to explain the reasons why they changed it back.
{BL #10289}

@7552. I was quite amused to note on the back of the bus transfer I got today that it says "non-transferable." Obviously that's both true and necessary to put on the ticket, but the idea of a "non-transferable transfer" is still pretty funny.

@7553. In the transit center at the airport, the clock was an hour and five minutes fast. Not exactly confidence-inspiring.

@7555. "Don't tune me out like you tune your parents out." --Dr. Armstrong

@7556. "It was a less-than-perfect fourth from a few of you." --Dr. Armstrong

@7557. "Brahms didn't think people had to turn the pages." --Dr. Armstrong

@7562. "The viola makes a viable contribution to this work and should not be omitted." --notes to "For the Sake of Our Children"

@7563. "I don't know if you feel the same way about Moodle as I do, which is that it's a kludgy piece of crap." --Prof. Cunningham
(I do!)

@7567. I read a news article about an incident in which a cargo handler had mistakenly been left in the hold of an airplane while it flew a couple hundred miles. Asked for comment, the baggage handling company said sagely, according to the article, that "their employee traveled in the cargo hold 'on accident'".

@7572. "Because grammar has a reputation for being dull and discussion of sexual issues for being unseemly, I may appear to be conferring a questionable honor by dedicating this monograph to Janet Martin and D.W. Robertson, Jr." --preface to _Alan of Lille's Grammar of Sex_, a book I spotted randomly in the library

@7573. "You know, time is entirely unlike linoleum." --Prof. Cunningham
{BL #7651}

@7578. "DATABASE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING: CONNECTION_ERROR"
--http://thedailywtf.com/articles/errors-for-everyone

@7579. "Well, unfortunately, unlike Aristotle's cosmos, this podcast is finite, with a beginning and end, and we've reached the end." --History of Philosophy Without Any Gaps podcast

@7580. "What's 'this'? I don't even know what 'this' is in my own article, and I wrote this about two hours ago." --me

@7581. "Then I went to Montana to walk around a battlefield, something I enjoy doing as long as the battle has been over for a significant period of time." --Kevin Underhill, Lowering the Bar

@7582. "I just thought that something like this would be provided in the box since most people use toilet seats on top of their toilets." --Amazon review

@7583. "It says our health insurance is being replaced by a series of tweets calling us losers." --political cartoon

@7584. Thinking about #7578, I think there's a class of humor that we might call "personification humor," and it is a prime example.

@7585. "Unfortunately I do not speak English." --written in English on #ankiforums

@7586. "I'm looking forward to the enhancement unhurriedly, not necessarily optimistically." --#ankiforums

@7587. "For as what is conceived, is conceived by conception, and what is conceived by conception, as it is conceived, so is in conception; so what is understood, is understood by understanding, and what is understood by understanding, as it is understood, so is in the understanding. What can be more clear than this?" --St. Anselm, via Nichi

@7588. Starting to memorize the Scholz arrangement of "What Wondrous Love is This" with the recording Myrtle gave, which I'm pretty sure is OC. I missed noticing where the basses came in and I was supposed to start singing, they slipped in so delicately!

@7590. "'Etc.' is a sign used to make believe that you know more than you do."

@7591. "There never has been, nor will there ever be, any language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad code." --Donald Knuth

@7593. "I just want to find someone who looks at me the way you look at a martini." --comment on Kjersti's Facebook profile picture

@7594. "A craftsman can write good code in any language. Everyone else writes crap in every language." --Slashdot comment

@7595. Had a very strange moment this morning where I somehow got a fairly strong static shock near my left temple while only the right side of my face was touching anything! I'm pretty sure I worked out that my glasses touched a bare wire coat hanger, and somehow the resistance must have been lower on the seemingly longer path to the left side of my face. It felt really strange.

@7597. "It's just the note values I've got wrong." --me
Yeah, other than that, real solidly memorized.

@7598. "It is just as hard to draw a very small square circle as it is to draw an enormous one: we might say both tasks are infinitely hard." --Max Black, "Achilles and the Tortoise"

@7599. "If somebody commands me to obey a certain 'instruction,' and is then obliging enough to add that nothing that I can do will count as compliance with that instruction, only confusion could lead me to suppose that any task had been set." --Max Black, "Achilles and the Tortoise"

@7600. "I have been talking of time for a long time, and this long time would not be a long time unless time had passed." --Augustine, _Confessions_, XI/25

@7601. According to Wikipedia, in 2008, one blog was created every second.

@7605. "I was on a 6-hour car ride with a racist, xenophobic creationist. It was *terrible*!" --#overheard in the caf
It sounds like a joke, sort of like that one about the insomniac (#2171). Or the other thing it reminds me of is that thesaurus joke, which I can't now remember...

UPDATE: "I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible."

@7606. Not new, but worth including in RT:
"To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." --C.S. Lewis

January 10, 2017
@7607. "This is a one line proof...if we start sufficiently far to the left." --Ken Luther

@7609. One of the few incredibly stupid things about my Neverlate alarm clock: the default alarm duration is *1 hour*. That is, if you don't turn off the alarm, it will ring for one hour and only then shut itself off. Fortunately, you can decrease it to one minute or a couple of minutes, but you have to notice it's a problem and remember to do it. And what exactly would the *point* of ringing for an hour be?
{BL #8950}

@7610. Had a random theory the other day while singing in OC, perhaps related to my moment of enlightenment after home concert last year where I realized I'd been looking at the question the wrong way for most of the tour. I have sometimes wanted to get the technical aspects down so that I don't have to be focusing too hard on them all the time. That seems to be largely elusive and maybe impossible; even though getting things more down means I don't have to worry about them, it doesn't mean I stop thinking about them. But maybe actually there's nothing wrong with being focused on those aspects, being focused on them is actually part of being in an ultimate state of flow and connected consciousness.

@7612. "Also, it probably says something that the one difficult passage I found was about Hegel." --http://existentialcomics.com/comic/167

@7617. "No, all the people who are a certain age were born in the same year. That's how it works." --me, momentarily confused about what makes someone the age they are

@7619. In a dream that I remember nothing else of, from someone who was watching a movie with Hannah and me at her grandmother's house, somehow with the intention of explaining why he had been playing violin recently: "Oh, I have to give a presentation on ginger."

@7623. Someone from Facilities called the Helpdesk yesterday to say his password had expired and he needed to change it, but he couldn't because he didn't know his employee ID. The unique part was that the reason he didn't know the ID number was that he had spilled hydrochloric acid on it.

@7624. Today Prof. Cunningham tried to take a drink, but his cup was empty. He made a face and then said:
Prof. Cunningham: "I'm gonna go get a drink, okay? ...Oh, we have a sink right here."
He reaches for the tap.
Prof. Cunningham: (dramatically) "Ope, non-potable water!"
He then goes out to the drinking fountain to fill his cup, and comes back wondering:
Prof. Cunningham: "Where do we get non-potable water from anyway?"
Sebastian: "It's from Carleton."

@7625. "Dear Ones," --#ankiforums salutation

@7626. "Every programming language embodies in it a philosophy about how problems should be solved. C reduces all problems to manipulations of memory addresses. Java turns every problem into a set of interacting objects. JavaScript summons Shub-Niggurath, the black goat of the woods with a thousand young, to eat the eyes of developers." --The Daily WTF

@7628. "You know, the one who stole the pillows? But people redeem themselves. He's in the National Lutheran Choir." --Dr. Armstrong

@7629. "It is 5 o'clock for God."
--"God's Time", William Hasker

@7631. "It's kind of hard to have tea without water." --me

@7632. "I need a different color to represent time travel here." --Prof. Cunningham

@7633. "My earned income does not include 'other income' which I earned." --me
(It's true, according to the IRS.)

@7634. "No checks of $100 million or more accepted." --spotted in the directions for form 1040

@7637. "Dayooth? What's dayooth?" --Mama, reading "Deauth" in Anki's syncing settings
(Papa suggested first "It means you're God," then "It's a priest with a lisp.")

January 15, 2017
@7638. "I need to shoe my polish." --me

@7639. "The essay is a literary device for saying almost everything about almost anything." --Aldous Huxley

@7640. "Which is kind of funny, right? Why would they call Jesus a sheep?" --Pastor Fickensher, children's sermon

@7642. Second service, balcony of St. John's:
Carl: "...Septuple peace! Octuple peace!"
Sebastian: "Shut up, Carl!!"

@7643. I noticed a Student Government poster today that discussed the "Subcommittee of the Week."

@7644. Also in government: the UK now has a department called the "Department for Exiting the European Union."

@7645. I can hardly believe that Moodle still notifies you that you've submitted an assignment by sending you an email with the subject, "You have submitted your assignment submission." This was true back in 2013 (see #2773), so apparently nobody who works on Moodle cares about style enough to fix the message, or they're all totally oblivious.

@7646. "It says very clearly, the macarena and the disco are prohibited." --#overheard outside the caf

@7647. "Don't ask me, I'm a philosopher." --Prof. Cunningham

@7648. "I am going completely off the cuff here. I have no license to talk about Kant." --Prof. Cunningham

@7649. Texting and peeing seems to be reaching epidemic proportions at St. Olaf. Like lately, I'm seeing people doing it at least once a week.
(See #3503 for original.)

@7650. I was thinking today more about what qualifies as "user-friendly" interfaces. Specifically, I was remarking on the fact that, as I read someone say recently, it's really kind of a poor testament to human ingenuity that for over 50 years, we have not managed to find any more effective way of interacting with a computer than the Unix shell. But I think one of the primary things that distinguishes the supposedly user-unfriendly CLI from the GUI is discoverability: the (perfectly correct) idea is that it's easier to figure out how to do things you don't know how to do in a GUI, at least if it's designed well.

But then take a step back and question the assumption that this is something we should actually be able to do. Essentially, it amounts to expecting that we can use the computer without being taught how to use it, which seems kind of silly. I wouldn't expect someone to be able to work out how to ride a motorcycle without being taught how or at least without reading the manual and experimenting for quite some time. Does that mean it has a bad interface? But somehow if someone can't use my software without taking a while to learn how, people say my software is bad. Sure, discoverability is great, but when it makes the interface worse for people who know how to use the software, that's not a good tradeoff.

@7651. "On the other hand, absolute space is infinite and unbounded, quite unlike a cereal box." --Huggett, _Space from Zeno to Einstein_, p.128
(Cf. #7573.)

@7652. "I love that feeling when I get tendinitis." --#overheard in the caf line

@7653. "I don't like interrupting people who don't have shirts on." --me

@7655. "Okay, there is no 'God'. ...It's always 'Lord.'" --me, memorizing
(Cf. #5250.)

@7656. "Screensaver's off right now." --Dr. Armstrong, attempting to explain why he had used the word 'damn' in choir (the reason being that he'd been in the airsheep process from 4:30am until an hour before rehearsal)

@7657. "I am an avid enthusiast of the sweet ANKI." --#ankiforums

@7658. "Or can you, magnanimously, modify this section of the software...?" --same message on #ankiforums

@7659. "We have not introduced, and happily we are not *going to* introduce, Leibniz's conception of true motion." --Prof. Cunningham

@7661. "This is a beautifully restored auditorium with woeful backstage amenities." --Jean, of Baldwin Auditorium at Duke

@7662. "bed, the roommate, greater than 4 shirts" --in my notes for tour packing last year, apparently having had some meaning at the time
(Cf. #2426.)

@7663. "Please note: When you save, you will receive an error message. Do not be alarmed, please continue to the next tab."

@7664. "We should take comfort in two conjoined features of nature: first, that our world is incredibly strange and therefore supremely fascinating...second, that however bizarre and arcane our world might be, nature remains comprehensible to the human mind." --Stephen Jay Gould, qtd. in _Relativity for the Questioning Mind_

@7665. "Mathematics is a tool of extraordinary power, yet this very power can be used as a curtain to avoid any sort of understanding while simply solving problems." --_Relativity for the Questioning Mind_

@7666. "This resolution of the paradox is complete, satisfying, and wonderfully in accord with our common sense. In addition, it is completely wrong." --_Relativity for the Questioning Mind_
(Cf. #1465.)

January 21, 2017
@7667. "This bridge has been peed off of by a thousand passing schoolboys." --example sentence on ELU Stack Exchange

@7668. "Yeah, 2+2=5 is...wrong." --Prof. Cunningham

@7670. "State changed from crashed to starting" --Heroku

@7671. "I've got a big head, it's creating a shadow." --Dr. Armstrong, requesting that Erik give him a stand light

@7672. "Because we tend to see the -isms as evidence of personal moral failure rather than as social problems, our approach to them is quite reactionary. This is what causes so many of us on the left to get so mad at racists. What we need to remember is that when we tell racists to "educate themselves" we're no different from the conservatives who tell the homeless guy they see on the corner to "get a job". We're denying a collective social problem by pretending it's a matter of personal moral failure." --Benjamin Studebaker, https://benjaminstudebaker.com/2017/01/23/how-to-reframe-anti-discrimination-politics-to-overcome-division/

January 24, 2017
@7673. "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." --Albert Einstein

@7676. "Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality." --Jules de Gaultier
(For some inexplicable reason, sometimes the Cheshire Cat is incorrectly quoted as the source.)

@7677.
Prof. Cunningham: "Imagine trying to do science if you just doubted everything."
Student: "You'd be a philosopher!"

@7678. "Okay, I'm not going to use this marker [because it's almost dead]. I'll just leave it here to annoy the next teacher." --Prof. Cunningham

@7679. "You have landed into wrong page." --(entirety of a) custom error message when I tried removing the query string from a PHP URL

@7681. "Let's see, I will wear matching socks when I'm going to be a soloist." --me, getting dressed before Vespers

@7682. "I would appreciate it if you could prevaricate my question." --#ankiforums
Not sure what that was supposed to be...

@7683. "This certainly seems *wrong*; it seems that a cause should have to precede its effect in all reference frames. On the other hand, this book has introduced you to all sorts of things that seem wrong." --_Relativity for the Questioning Mind_

@7684. "Though I am moved by this objection, I have often thought I should not be. It is really just a restatement of the view as an objection. It is like objecting to solipsism by saying the problem with solipsism is that there are no other people." --Mark Hinchliff, "A Defense of Presentism in a Relativistic Setting"

@7685. The ASC has a new poster out for an event with the tagline, "Is time starting to go at the speed of light?" I was amused when I paused for a moment to completely seriously consider what exactly it would mean for time to go at the speed of light.

@7687. "Import meme" --my #misread ing of the "Import theme" button in Google Slides

@7688. "These are beautiful phones." --Trump's assessment of the White House

@7689. "If you have any questions, please our office at tuition@stolaf.edu." --email about board plans

@7690. "The problem with measuring time by the sun is that you have to look at the sun, which causes 'blindness'." --a really bad YouTube video about measuring time

@7693. "At some point I should buy a new umbrella. But I've been using a broken umbrella for the four years I've been in college, so it'll be fine." --me

@7697. "I like that you have the cost in Minnesota memorized." --Miles to Josiah, on Josiah's noticing that his order at Chipotle had cost less than usual

@7703. An old woman told Dr. A that she might not be around to hear us next time we came through, but if we're anything like what angels in heaven sound like, she can't wait.

@7704. Someone called the digital clock mounted on the center of the balcony at St. Luke's last night a "classic Methodist clock." That's hilarious, but from the Methodist churches I've been to, it's actually pretty accurate.

@7711. "My opinion of you was so high until that sole moment: 'I like _Jersey Shore_.'" --#overheard on the bus

@7712. "Danger Do Not Enter" --posted on the door to the trash compactor at the Clay Center

February 01, 2017
@7713. Went through "Bland County" in Virginia today, which contains the town Bland.

@7714. "Speed Limit: 7 mph" --sign in a parking garage in Charlotte

@7718. "Yes, check the glasses at halftime....Not halftime. Intermission." --Dr. Armstrong
{BL CB47.24}

February 03, 2017
@7719. In Richmond between the church and our hotel there was a building called the "Center for Kidney Excellence."

@7720. "They don't have wine at Waffle House." --#overheard in the dressing room

@7721. "Extroverted olive oil" --#mishearing of "extra virgin olive oil" in a commercial

@7723. So some of us noticed in a hotel elevator in Charlotte that the elevator inspection certificate was signed by "Sherri Berry" in a large, flourishy signature. Some of the North Carolina folks in the choir then told us she's signed basically every elevator inspection certificate in the state.

So with this backdrop, I was in the hotel laundry room watching MSNBC (or rather, mostly trying -- and failing -- to ignore MSNBC while playing solitaire) and a commercial for a company named "Sheri's Berries" came on. I was rather amused.

@7728. "I know oysters don't go in margaritas, traditionally." --guest on _Worst Cooks in America_
{BL #9349}

February 07, 2017
@7730. "This is very white church, high Jesus." --#overheard before rehearsal in St. Joseph's Cathedral

@7731. I was walking down the street in DC and someone probably about five feet from my ear yelled, "I GOT YOUR CATFISH!" At first I thought he was yelling at me and jumped, especially as I'd just been jaywalking, but it turned out there was someone across the street.

@7735. "Failure to do these instructions..." --on a washer warning label

@7736. "a fire of explosion" --same label

@7737. "I thought, as nice as y'all sing, you don't need to use the restroom." --audience member during intermission

@7741. "The consequence of this [ending conscription] is that the people who join the military are the people who like the idea of being in the military." --Ben Studebaker

February 10, 2017
@7742. "Lincoln Highway / Historic Byway" --sign seen along the highway in Indiana

@7745. Also at Fourth Presbyterian, there's a room called the "Steve Bumpus Activity Room," and it has padded walls. I find this way too amusing.

@7749. I nearly missed going out for the fourth set tonight because we got distracted by finding a sign that said to please not touch or move the piano -- written entirely in German, for no apparent reason.

@7752. Some months ago I'd lost both of my violin mutes. I have since found both of them in the pockets of different suit jackets.

@7754. "For example, it's a common assumption that introverts hate people and that makes it okay. That isn't introversion, it's just being an asshole." --Lifehacker article
This is the best thing I've heard all week.

@7757. Murphy's Law: the camera was zoomed in on me during my literally one substantial memory slip during home concert.

@7758. I just noticed that, with the exception of pretour, our tour schedule this year perfectly alternated between churches and concert halls, one church and then one concert hall (if we count DeKalb High School's auditorium as a concert hall; it's certainly closer to that than to a church). That is really weird.

@7761. "It's a literature review about literature reviews!" --me
(And it is.)

@7762. "Based on this review of the literature we can conclude that...locating and interpreting literature is an important aspect of the literature review process that is currently insufficiently addressed in the literature."

@7763. "We've gotten so used to being the victim of data loss that we often don't even notice it. So consider if what happens routinely on the web happened in real life: You go into Harrod's Department Store in London. After making your selections, you are asked to fill out a four-page form. A gentleman looks the form over, then points to the bottom of Page 3 at your phone number. 'Excuse me,' he says, 'Look there. See how you used spaces in your phone number?' When you nod, he continues, 'We weren't expecting you to do that,' at which point, he picks up the four-page form and rips it to shreds before handing you a new, blank form."

@7765. "...Woodman is reading a definition where none was intended -- while failing to find an included concept that only an unnaturally beady-eyed reader would ever imagine needed to be specified. 'Jim got in his car, turned the headlights on, and drove away.' Woodman: 'The author's failure to specify that Jim turned on his engine shows us that the twentieth-century concept of the automobile included only headlights, and not the engine.'" --J.E. Lendon, "Against Roman historiography"

@7766. I just bought the OC "Great Hymns of Faith" album and am remembering an anecdote Dr. A passed on to us last year about a woman who told him every time she has to drive through Chicago, she puts the CD in and puts "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" on repeat until she's through.

February 14, 2017
@7769. "A giraffe, a sticker book, and Kermit the Frog walk into a bar." --opening line to an otherwise not very funny joke someone told me in a dream

@7782. "ablatives absolute" --in Tatum's commentary on _Bellum Gallicum_
So I thought this was ridiculously pretentious, but then I went to look it up on Google Ngrams and actually it's kind of fascinating: that *used* to be the predominant form, indeed the only form, and then somewhere around 1900 "ablative absolutes" started catching on (because it doesn't sound incredibly pretentious, presumably) and has since become the main form.
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=ablative+absolutes%2Cablatives+absolute&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1800&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=

@7785. "GE curriculum increased my ability to cultivate a wholistic perspective" --Likert-scale prompt on a survey about St. Olaf's GE system

@7786. "I've not seen the eye; shame on me!" --#ankiforums, a user who missed the preview ("eye") icon

@7788. "Collect ALL waste you produce (except food and bodily fluids) in your bag." --email information on a "no waste challenge" one of the environmental groups at STO is doing
Glad they're not going to make me shit in the bag and carry it around with me (though strictly speaking I suppose poop isn't a fluid, generally). I don't think I can do a whole lot to reduce that waste.

@7789. "Today, we present our second installment of Software on the Rocks, complete with new features, like an actually readable transcript done by a professional transcriber. Isn't that amazing?" --The Daily WTF

@7790. "Let's have a 'From:' header on our email." --me

@7791. "I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at the legal system." --Prof. Huff, laughing and then responding to a student's question about digital law

@7792. "WordPress makes me look like I know what I'm doing." --Prof. Huff

@7793. "My bank switched banks!" --me
The reason this is funny is because it's true -- Simple (which is technically not a bank but rather a tech company which is closely linked to a bank, but it basically *looks* like a bank) is moving from keeping our accounts at one bank to another, which means we all have to transfer them with a mildly annoying procedure.

@7794. "I urge the British people to rise up and turn off the TV next time Blair comes on with his condescending campaign." --Boris Johnson, of Blair's attempt to encourage people to "rise up" against Brexit

@7795. Freelance Meme-Making

February 18, 2017
@7797. "I do not hit the anki, I just did the 1st. Each time is something that does not enter. Thanks. Lead me." --#ankiforums, Google Translate's interpretation of someone writing in Portuguese

@7799.
If TSA/ICE/some random cop on the beat has the capacity to slurp your phone, then obviously, while the intent might not be there, they [certainly] could if they had the slightest reason [to do] so. Such actions as looking at them. Not looking at them. Appearing nervous. Appearing calm. Being dressed too well. Being dressed poorly. Being dressed differently. Not being dressed differently. Speeding. Not speeding. Going slower than the speed limit. Using a highway. Using back roads.

These are all excuses used in court to preform a "reasonable suspicion" search, including one officer in Georgia that used *all of these excuses in a single month*.
--Slashdot comment

@7802. "I have the similar MDRV600, and they are indeed nice. The ear cups are in fact ear-shaped, an unusual feature." --comment on a type of headphones

@7803. "In other words, if you want to take over the world, just write everything in indirect speech." --Prof. Brunelle

@7805. f - a distressingly furry cloak

@7807. Wednesday: 60 degrees.  Thursday: Winter storm warning.  Welcome to Northfield, Minnesota.

@7808. "I am using...a normal laptop, non-Mac." --#ankiforums

@7809. "That's why I'm not seeing tea, because I opened the wrong drawer." --me, after spending about fifteen seconds staring at the contents of my office supplies drawer, obviously rather distracted

February 23, 2017
@7810. "A marlinspike should not be necessary to remove my pants." --me, using one to untie the knot on my sweatpants

@7811. "Grill, Iron, Lost & Found, Etc." --label on a cabinet at the front desk in Kildahl

@7812. In ESD today:
Student 1: "Bill Gates was here this morning."
Student 2: "Where?!"
Student 3: "Look under your chair!"

@7813. "It had a sort of stoner hippie vibe from the 70s." --JBobb

@7816. "Light breaks forth, but it's not the light of apocalypse." --JBobb, on the Mendelssohn

@7818. In Latin today, me coming to "milites":
Me: "...Military people, what's the word for that?"
Class: "Soldiers?"
Me: "Yeah, that's it!"

@7819. "Are you sure you didn't read it on the _New York Times_? I hear that's fake news." --me, to someone whose report was being debated by another student

@7820. "With such tricks you can even get rid of the verb 'be', which according to some theorists is responsible for most of the sloppy thinking in the world today. (Heinlein was careful to ban ‘to be' from Speedtalk.) About the only response this notion deserves is: would that clear thinking was that easy." --http://www.zompist.com/kitgram.html

@7822. "A lady I worked with requested a workshop on copying and pasting." --Reddit comment

@7824. A whopping 41 percent of transgender people will attempt suicide in their lifetimes, compared with just 4.6 percent of the general public.

@7826. "Oh. There's a staple under that key, that's why it doesn't work." --me, #unusualsentences

@7827. "After you've installed monkey on your computer you can download shit dicks by opening the program and then going down to the bottom left button." --YouTube's automatic closed captioning #transcription for one of the Anki intro videos (#ankiforums, sorta)

@7830. "And I sit on a tree stump playing Xbox wearing a Boy Scout uniform." --#overheard in the caf

@7831. "Read Reade 2003" --beginning of an assignment description on Moodle 

@7833. "There was no way to adjust the sensitivity other than a dial on the bottom that went from 0 to 6 and didn't seem to do anything." --Mirabai Knight on a steno machine she didn't like

@7835. "Step up and do the job and stop dying at an alarming rate!" --#overheard in front of Thorson

@7836. "Roman history is so challenging it'll make your nose fall off." --Prof. Brunelle, looking at the statue on the cover of a Latin text

@7837. "It is hard, when one sees a particularly offensive TV commercial, to imagine that adult human beings sometime and somewhere sat around a table and decided to construct exactly that commercial, and to have it broadcast hundreds of times. But that is what happens." --Joseph Weizenbaum, _Computer Power and Human Reason_

@7838. "We can count, but we are rapidly forgetting how to say what is worth counting and why." --Joseph Weizenbaum, _Computer Power and Human Reason_

@7839. "To login you will need to follow the link below to nominate your password."

@7841. "Ash Wednesday services, 9:00 tonight. Get your ash in church." --JBobb

March 02, 2017
@7843. In recent years, for instance, there have been hundreds of studies on the various genes that control the differences in disease risk between men and women. These findings have included everything from the mutations responsible for the increased risk of schizophrenia to the genes underlying hypertension. Ioannidis and his colleagues looked at four hundred and thirty-two of these claims. They quickly discovered that the vast majority had serious flaws. But the most troubling fact emerged when he looked at the test of replication: out of four hundred and thirty-two claims, only a single one was consistently replicable.
--http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2010/12/13/the-truth-wears-off

@7844. "But he also said they're 150,000 bucks. For a lot of people, that's a lot of money." --#overheard phone conversation in the next room

@7845. "[Once] I had [dug up] literally a ton of pottery in two weeks....That was a pottery dump, so that was part of the problem." --Prof. Bruce

@7846. "received a noble prize"

@7853. "It's true! Thank you." --#ankiforums post, after being told what the keyboard shortcuts for reviewing were

@7854. "Like riding the merry-go-round, one chooses his horse. One can make believe his horse leads the rest. Then when a particular ride is finished, one must step off only to observe that the horse has really gone nowhere." --R.L. Cromwell, qtd. in Jaynes, p. 431, of competing theories of schizophrenia ignoring each other

@7855. "Applied to the world as representative of *all* the world, facts become superstitions." --Jaynes, p.443

@7856. (aim-to-overthrow (Contras Sandinistas))
...When one keeps in mind that the alphanumeric string "aim-to-overthrow" might as well have been "holds-one-teaspoonful" or "bling-blang-blotch", it seems dubious that the above-quoted expression contains information that the Contras, or anyone else, ever aimed to do anything at all. In fact, even the use of the word "information" seems an exaggeration. The program has been informed of nothing -- it has merely been handed a string of letters and punctuation marks. As a result of this, no ideas will be created, no knowledge will be consulted, no imagery will be formed. Yet simply because highly evocative English words are embedded in the string, it is hard to resist this easy slide down a very slippery epistemological slope.
--Douglas Hofstadter, "The Ineradicable Eliza Effect and Its Dangers", _Fluid Concepts and Creative Analogies_

@7857. "This analysis of Geometry's performance suggests that a crucial component of human creativity is the ability to sense that some fact that one has noticed, aside from being true, is *surprising*." --Douglas Hofstadter, _Fluid Concepts and Creative Analogies_

@7861. Big thanks to whoever pissed on the floor in the back stall in Mellby and then left it for me to step in.

March 06, 2017
@7866. "Yep, I'm in my seventh semester of Latin and I just learned a new conjunction!" --me

@7867. "In some ways, this course is just a warning that in certain circumstances you need to hire an expert." --Prof. Huff
I feel like this should be a standard warning in statistics as well...

@7868. "You could accidentally be blowing up nuclear bombs in Poland, and that would be unfortunate." --Prof. Huff

@7872. "If you can imagine it, you can sing it." --Dr. Feldt

@7876. "Sure sounds like something *I've* been telling you for the past four years, Devon." --#overheard at the front desk at Mellby

@7877. "Stuff's going to happen. We're all works in progress." --Dr. Feldt

@7878. "The first step will be to click on 'Forgot Password.'" --instructions for getting Commencement tickets

@7880. Si sapis, sis apis
I have no idea what exactly this is supposed to mean (if anything), but I saw it written on the board in Groton's class as I was passing by and thought it was pretty funny. Cf. Schopenhauer's "obit anus, abit onus".

@7881. "You need to be careful with courtroom demonstrations anyway, because they can easily backfire. Demonstrations that involve (a) your pants or (b) fire seem like especially bad ideas, even separately."
--http://loweringthebar.net/2017/03/lawyer-pants-on-fire.html

@7882. "In another study, subjects spent about four hours following instructions of a hands-on instructional manual. At a certain point, the manual introduced a formula which led them to believe that spheres are 50% larger than they are. Subjects were then given an actual sphere and asked to determine its volume; first by using the formula, and then by filling the sphere with water, transferring the water to a box, and directly measuring the volume of the water in the box. In the last experiment in this series, all 19 subjects held a Ph.D. degree in a natural science, were employed as researchers or professors at two major universities, and carried out the comparison between the two volume measurements a second time with a larger sphere. All but one of these scientists clung to the spurious formula despite their empirical observations."
--https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belief_perseverance

@7883. "18 hours in, the Energy and Commerce Committee was still debating the first Democratic amendment -- which was to change the name of the bill."
Don't you love politics?

@7884. "You couldn't cut off someone's nose with a wooden knife anyway." --Prof. Bruce

March 10, 2017
@7889. "Only in America can you get more time in jail for not stealing cheese than for an actual violent crime."
--https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/comments/5y2bwj/man_found_not_guilty_of_stealing_cheese_but_he/

@7890. "It is not overstating the position to say that any business which sold over 2000 cartridges to a business that owned one printer acted unlawfully," he said.
--http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/victoria/cold-callers-sell-farming-couple-with-one-printer-enough-ink-to-last-1700-years-20170309-guuhpl.html

March 12, 2017
@7891. "living in the departure lounge of God's airport" --a 93-year-old Indian lawyer describing himself and the fact that he doesn't care what happens to him when he stands up to a stupid judge

@7894. Lunar Angulometrics
(My trying to figure out why my shadow from the moon was a certain height.)

@7902. "It is *literally* like drinking liquid metal." --#overheard on campus, someone discussing the water in a particular building they didn't like

@7905. Just did a test to see if I can blindly distinguish between FLAC and MP3256 recordings. Answer: big no. But then I'm only using sub-$100 headphones plugged into my laptop, so that's not to say there is no difference. Also not going to stop me from preferring the FLAC versions -- the only downside is disk space, which is cheap, and it makes sure no additional quality is ever lost if I want to transcode them later.

@7906. "Commentaries, dictionaries, and grammaers" --section heading at the end of the introduction to Mary Jaeger's Livy reader

@7907. "Gaius (Caligula) wanted to banish Livy's works and portrait busts from the libraries because he found him wordy and inaccurate (Livy was in good company, because Gaius wanted to do the same to Vergil and to suppress the poems of Homer as well)." --section heading at the end of the introduction to Mary Jaeger's Livy reader

March 16, 2017
@7908. Amtrak's train tracker has an option that says "Don't know your train number? Check status by city" -- on the page where you've already entered your train number.

@7909. "Why is there a German reflexive pronoun on my underwear?" --me, #misread ing the size indicator "S / CH" as "SICH"

@7911. "I'm doing a lot of thinking lately here." --me

@7915. The funniest thing I've seen so far today was a guy at the La Crosse station who dragged his rolling suitcase into a chunk of ice that was lying on the sidewalk and then kept pulling it a good twenty yards without realizing it was there, all while I watched it slide along from the window. It's hard to say exactly why it was so funny, but it was.

@7916. "Please do not cross over the tracks between the platform and the station. Those are live, active tracks. We do not want anyone doing Wile E. Coyote imitations here in the Milwaukee station." --conductor on the Empire Builder, same guy as #6457

@7917. "If you're going to swear at me I'm going to tell Tupperware again." #unusualsentences
--https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/610xw2/reddit_what_is_your_best_instant_karma_story/dfaz0z1/

@7918. "Quack! The duck says it's time to erase more tapes." --me, on my iPhone timer going off

@7920. "Maybe your mind just gets tired." --a woman on the train trying to explain why the crosswords get harder as the week goes on

@7923. "There is an all too common tendency to assume that a writer is naïve who fails to mirror one's own level of cynicism." --D.S. Levene, "Roman Historiography in the Late Republic"

@7924. "genitive of the wrong avenged"

@7925. Spent about five minutes looking for my history textbook only to realize I've been using it to prop up my keyboard and forgot about that over break.

@7926. "It is literally the exact thing you said it isn't." --Lifehacker comment, of VPN service

@7927. The introduction to the KJ arrangement of "Arirang" in one place calls Kenneth Jennings "Kennings." Michael and Ben and I were laughing our heads off about it in sectionals the other day.

March 29, 2017
@7930. "I don't think one little mistake is grounds for termination. A lot of workplaces understand people make mistakes and can learn from them, masturbating in the ceiling being among them." --Reddit comment

@7931. "I don't have that choice so much with my ISP, short of physically moving to another location. If I'm lucky, I might live in an area with two viable choices. In my current case, I can choose between Verizon and Comcast, which is like being asked to choose between gonorrhea and syphilis." --Slashdot comment

@7932. "I wear this in public almost every day!" --#overheard in Union Station
(Beginning old transcriptions.)

@7934. Phrygian Beautiful Savior

@7935. "Tell your parents they raised a good son. Good sons are hard to come by." --a really nice old man I sat and talked about choral music with on the Empire Builder

@7936. And then in the dining car I met Caroline and George, two people in their fifties. George introduced Caroline as his "Amtrak wife," a term which he came up with because they'd met on the Empire Builder going east, split in Union Station, then found each other again on the Capitol Limited. On the way back, they met *in the DC train station* and were again on the Capitol Limited and the Empire Builder. They didn't even know they were coming back on the same day!

@7937. The metro announcements in the Cities have really messed up word emphasis. For instance, the bus stop at the corner of Jackson Street and Robert Street is read something like, "Jackson. Street and Robert Street" -- the emphasis coming on "Street."

@7940. In the hall between Boe and Buntrock:
Garrett: "Hey!"
Me: "Hey Garrett!"
Garrett: "Good, how about you?"

@7941. "That was the weirdest way to open a door I've seen in my entire life." --#overheard in the quad from a group coming from Buntrock

@7944. "I Arise Today" was written on the whiteboard in Fosnes, being the name of a piece that Manitou had done earlier in the day, but I #misread it as "I Arse Today."
(Cf. #4227.)

@7949. "Sorry neighbors, we'll be quiet soon!" --#overheard in the next room, during a loud party
(They weren't.)

@7950. "Notify me via notification" --one of the options for notifications in Google Calendar, to be contrasted with email

April 01, 2017
@7953. "The golden rule: Assume everyone else on the road is a retard." --a driver's ed instructor

@7954. "Really almost any time you see a gun in a movie it's unrealistic in every way imaginable." --Reddit comment

@7956. I evidently did not note anywhere that when we sang in Strathmore, near the end of rehearsal Jean came up with an important announcement but Dr. A insisted on silencing her and talking on for another couple of minutes. When Jean finally got to break in and speak, she announced that we had to be off the stage in twelve seconds or we'd get charged an extra fee!
(Cf. #1660.)

@7957. "Two observations have been made in this regard: one is that a quick steeping of certain tea leaves will release a majority of the caffeine fairly readily, and the second is that a particularly long steeping time will negate the absorption of caffeine from the liquid. Both are valid to an extent, and impossibly inaccurate at the same time."
--http://chadao.blogspot.co.uk/2008/02/caffeine-and-tea-myth-and-reality.html

@7958. "I don't want to flash children." --Megan, explaining her decision not to change in the hallway since members of the Northfield Youth Choir were coming through occasionally

@7959. I #misread a hymn text this morning as "he will free us from seduction" (rather than "destruction").
(Cf. #5244, #4227.)

@7960. "I'm sorry, sir, but here at [Store], we don't hire assholes. If you'd like, though, I can find a sales associate to help you."

@7961. Just heard the song "Overs" for the first time...really strange.
Then again, it's good: "No good times, no bad times, there's no times at all, just the New York Times" is one of the best lyrics I've ever heard. It's sad this never got used in _The Graduate_ (I think the scene it would have been used in never happened).

@7962. I saw a sticky note on someone's door and for a moment thought it said "AMY IS a (N-WORD)". I did a double-take and then saw that it actually read "AMY IS in a MEETING".

@7964. "To check for updates, you must first install an update for Windows Update."

@7966.
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything, please."

The vendor makes his hot dog and the monk thanks him and gives him a $20 bill. The vendor takes the cash, puts it in the register, and shuts the drawer.

"Where's my change?" the monk asks.

"Ah," says the vendor. "I thought you, of all people, would know that change must come from within."

@7967. I'm genuinely puzzled as to why "grocery delivery service" is one of the top hits when I started typing "grocery" into Google Maps. Think about that for a second...

@7968. "Property no longer Unavailable" --message on OwatonnaRentals.com

@7970.
"""
> my lawyer said "bring it, bitch."

If ever there is cause to do so, I would like to have my lawyer contact the plaintiff with this verbiage exactly.
"""
--Reddit comment

@7973. "Tenant shall not use the Unit for the storage of living animals or their carcasses." --in the rental agreement for my storage unit in Owatonna

@7974. "I would shoot myself if I was in Great Con." --#overheard in the quad

@7975. "I'm certainly not wise, that's why I'm not at peace!" --Prof. Bruce, of Gilgamesh supposedly being wise and finding peace through his adventures

@7976. "I just scored negative five points for breaking glass on Old Main!" --#overheard behind Old Main on a Friday night, along with the sound of glass shards being moved around
(I got out of there pretty quickly, even though I obviously had nothing to do with it.)

@7977. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_captivus

@7979. I read "chairs" as "choirs" on a stolaf-extra subject and thus saw "For sale: children's choirs".

@7980. Fresh Express Recalls Batch After Dead Bat Found In Prepackaged Salad
(*Not* an Onion article.)

@7981. "Early COBOL compilers were primitive and slow. A 1962 US Navy evaluation found compilation speeds of 3–11 statements per minute." --Wikipedia

@7982. "What's the dumbest thing you've done recently?" / "Responded to my own craigslist ad looking for a roommate.. i literally thought 'she sounds cool' and only realized after I received the email.. from myself..." --AskReddit

@7986. "I didn't make it up out of the blue, I'm not *that* smart." --me

@7993. Headline: "Woman's headphones reportedly explode during flight after falling asleep"
Remember kids, never let your headphones fall asleep!

@7994. Guy in the room next to me has the timer on his Alexa still going off and isn't around. Apparently it doesn't shut off automatically; it's been going for nearly an hour now.

@7996. "Anki makes my Windows to be in pain" --#ankiforums subject, someone whose installation of Anki is supposedly making her internet connection drop out periodically

@7998. "Though Jerome would praise virginity in the most exalted terms, he had to admit that his own had proven a casualty of his wild adolescence." --John McManamon, in an edition of _Sermones pro Sancto Hieronymo_

@7999. "My friends and I all switched to Diaspora [a social network], but then we just went our separate ways..." --Slashdot comment

@8002. "sinus-related quality of life"

@8003. "The first semester I got a 0.0." --https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/64vs8k/expelled_college_students_of_reddit_why_are_you/dg5frka/

@8004. "This translation is based on a Latin translation of the Armenian translation of the Greek original." --English translation of Eusebius' Chronicle

@8005. "The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything." --Teddy Roosevelt

@8006. "Never load cargo on the outside of the truck." --U-Haul instruction manual

@8007. Whoops...spelled "grammatically" wrong. Not ironic at all.
(Cf. #6527.)

@8008. "Plaza 2 is closed. Parkers use Plaza 1." --sign at MSP airport

@8010. The "renew" button seems to have disappeared from Catalyst, St. Olaf's library catalog. I spent several minutes looking for it, unable to remember where it used to be but certain that it ought to be somewhere. I was glad when I went to the desk to get it renewed that Shaina told me I wasn't the first person who'd had this problem and I wasn't just going crazy!

@8011. "Don't *smack* the Lord!" --Dr. Armstrong, on "Praise to the Lord"

@8016. In the U-Haul rental agreement: the insurance policy doesn't cover damage to the vehicle sustained while using it to commit a crime.

@8017. "I don't want to go halfway around the world and be bombed." --Dr. Armstrong, on our uncertainty about whether Asia tour will be safe

@8019. "If Landlord is unable to deliver possession of the premises to Tenant for any reason not within Landlord's control, including, but not limited to, partial or complete destruction of the premises, Tenant will have the right to terminate this Agreement upon proper notice as required by law." --in my rental agreement

@8020. "Someone let out a Godawful ee-vowel over there." --Dr. Armstrong

@8021. "The binary of rationality/irrationality is too blunt. It places self-conscious, volitional, discursive, inferential intellectual activity on the one side and absurdity on the other." --Peter Struck, _Divination and Human Nature_

@8023. "It's funny how many things are allergic to shotgun blasts." --Reddit comment

@8024. "Similar Artilces" --at the bottom of a forum thread about LaTeX

@8025. "My proposed safety feature for cars is a device that detects any cellular signal being transmitted either into or out of the car and illuminates a flashing light on top of the car to warn those outside the vehicle that the operator is using a cell phone."

@8026. "You will not be asked to do anything illegal during the test." --Minnesota Driver's Manual, discussing the procedure for driving skills tests

@8027. "Do not pass...when you are about to meet a vehicle coming toward you from the opposite direction." --Minnesota Driver's Manual

@8028. "It is illegal to throw, leave, place or dump any form of offensive or dangerous item, including cigarettes, fireworks, debris, snow, ice, glass, nails, tacks, wire, cans, garbage, papers, ashes, refuse, carcasses, offal, trash or rubbish onto streets, roadways, and public land or on private land without the owner's consent." --Minnesota Driver's Manual

I'm glad they listed all the things you can't put there...would have been confused what "littering" was otherwise.

@8029. "You must also stop in the following situations...At a bridge that has been raised to open a path for boats to pass beneath it." --Minnesota Driver's Manual
I'd suggest just driving across the raised bridge into the river, myself...

April 23, 2017
@8030. "Did you close the CO2 tank?" --a very reassuring sign on the door of a lab in Regents

@8033. #overheard in the Bloomington Target (by the Mall of America), with no apparent irony at all and a real hint of nostalgia: "I miss this Target."

@8034. "SWIVEL PEE" --what a potato peeler rang up as at Target
(Cf. #880.)

@8038. "Do not ship liquids, blood, or clinical specimens in this packaging." --on a FedEx overnight envelope

@8040. "Work on" --found in my todo list

@8041. "You'll encounter lots of UFOs if you suck at identifying flying objects." --Reddit comment

@8042. "In 1937, the derailleur system was introduced to the Tour de France, allowing riders to change gears without having to remove wheels."
Don't mind me moving my wheels, I'm just changing gear...

@8044. "A perennial loser on CR's list, the [Fiat] 500L suffers from a middling dual-clutch transmission, low-rent electronics and the driving dynamics of a broken school bus. That last one is my opinion, not CR's." --CNet

@8045. "Suppose you set aside $1,000 a year (about $19 a week) from age 25 to age 65 in a retirement account earning 7% a year--a total of $40,000. By the time you turn 65, you'll have $213,610. But if you don't start saving until you're 35 and then invest $1,000 a year for the next 30 years--a total investment of $30,000--you'll have only $101,073 when you turn 65. You might want to read that example again slowly." --_Get a Financial Life_

@8046.
We watched [Zootopia] in Sunday School recently. One of the kids (~7) rolled her eyes at the DMV part and said, "I hate this part, it's so boring."

"Wait til you're a grown-up and have to go to the real DMV," I said. "Then you'll understand why it's funny."

She frowned at me and said, "Ms. Jones, I know the DMV isn't real."
--Reddit comment

@8047. "I don't even understand gigabytes, so I'm not even going to try. ...I can do everything else, I just don't understand gigabytes." --Geico insurance agent

@8048. 1 gold - the cursed -5 robe of Misfortune {-Cast *Contam *Tele EV-4 Str-2 Int-2 Dex-2 Stlth-- *Curse}
Umm...

At least it's only 1 gold, I suppose!

@8049. I was at a gay bar and went alone to the bar to buy a round for my group. Guy on a barstool next to me says "Can I buy you a drink?" I tell him I'm straight. He says "In that case, can I buy you ten drinks?"
--Reddit comment

@8050. "I have two 'else' clauses." --me

@8051. One of my funnier Python errors in a while:
ValueError: invalid literal for int() with base 10: 'Microwave queens for 1 year.'

@8052. "Vegetables are usually specified by weight or occasionally by count, despite the inherent imprecision of counts given the variability in the size of vegetables." --Wikipedia

@8053. "One month my ISP decided to swap the credit card number and "amount owing" fields on their payment page and I didn't notice and tried to pay 4.5 quadrillion dollars towards my internet bill." --Reddit comment

@8057. "Since last year she did a full 365."

@8058. Was driving to the Cities from Faribault the other day and my GPS told me to "merge onto I-35 towards MinneaPOlis-St. Paul." Okay, it's not all that obvious how to pronounce "Minneapolis," but you'd think Google would have figured it out by now.

@8061. "That's what the military does: we go out and kill people and break things. We get really good at doing that so we don't have to do it." --sergeant, qtd. by Huff

@8064. "And someone exploded the microwave that me and Mary stole!" --#overheard in the hall

@8065. When we tried "Kojo no tsuki" from memory for the first time in choir the other day, there was one spot where literally every person in the choir faked a syllable and nothing at all came out! We broke down laughing and tried again.

@8067.
-- Knock knock.
-- Who's there?
-- Interrupting coefficient of friction.
-- Interrupt...
-- MUUUUUUUUUUU!!

@8068.
Q: What do you get when you drink lots of root beer from a square cup?
A: Drunk.

@8069. "Has anyone ever wandered through the Alps for months without any signs? With a bunch of elephants and vinegar?" --Prof. Brunelle
(Realized I haven't entered any of the quotes from Latin class that I've written in my margins this semester. Get ready for a lot of Brunelle.)

@8071. "And so what do you do when there's a problem? MURDER." --Prof. Brunelle

@8073. "One of the things God tells us is, don't eat other humans." --Prof. Brunelle

@8086. "Only Jesus gets to say 'verily.'" --Prof. Brunelle, in response to a student's translation

@8092. My favorite moment in the manual so far: it suggests that to prevent your car from being broken into, you should make sure to close the moonroof before leaving the vehicle. This is funny because the moonroof covers half the top of the car, and I can just see someone waltzing onto the hood and hopping directly into the car through the moonroof. (Not to mention what could happen if it *rained* while you left it open...tent windows times ten.)

@8093. Also, in the section on the lane departure warning/correction system: "Make sure to grip the steering wheel while driving."

@8094. "You session has expired" --ProQuest's eBook reader

@8096. "I've never had toilet paper of my own before." --me

@8097. "CAUTION - Be careful not to hit your head or face on the rear gate when opening or closing the rear gate and when loading or unloading cargo." --Subaru Forester owner's manual

@8098. According to some Australian driver's literature, experienced drivers are *more* likely to be involved in rear-end collisions (presumably due to complacency).

@8099. Also, one study (http://www.nature.com/news/2008/080613/full/news.2008.889.html) found that the number of bumper stickers on a car predicted the likelihood the driver of the car would get road rage.

@8100. "It's not soap, it's a beauty bar" --in the "about the product" section for Dove soap (yes, *soap*) on Amazon

@8101. Shopping for cordless phones on Amazon. One of the filters available is "wireless."

@8102. "Cellphone-only households are a stupid idea. There should be at least one person to actually *use* the cell phones." --Slashdot comment

@8104. "Nothing is impossible with duct tape" --on the specs on an Amazon page for duct tape

@8107. "$3.99 per each"
Also, this was on a package of towels containing several towels, and "each" referred to the whole package. Dammit unit price. You had one job...

@8108. TypeError: undefined is not an object (evaluating 'React.__SECRET_DOM_DO_NOT_USE_OR_YOU_WILL_BE_FIRED')
--http://thedailywtf.com/articles/would-you-mind

@8111. "HTML hello world used to look like 'Hello World.' Now it looks like, 'Hey javascript framework, load 500 modules, then ask the server what 'Hello' is, then ask the server what 'world' is, then style it all in whatever your 13 generated CSS files say it should be styled as, and tell google analytics that someone looked at my hello world page.'" --Slashdot comment

@8114. "Your mom's gonna recycle that shit!" --#overheard from the next dorm room

@8115. Prof. Brunelle told us there was a group of knitters in the mid-20th century in America who called themselves the "Cloacae Maximae": because they were "great sewers."

@8117. "But if I wanted to be brief, I really should not have started by writing a half-page paragraph about how I want to be brief and why I want to be brief." --CB23.66

@8118. "St. Olaf Choir for life and everything." --CB45.27, after doing the "F. Melius flair" on "Wake, Awake" *again* unintentionally (#6045)

@8119. "We were a bit lost on starting pitches after Prof. Brunelle left; I gave most of them but only about two-thirds of them were good choices." --CB45.35, on Classics caroling

@8120. "Of course I opened it [the email], expecting important info -- and I guess you can say it did contain important info, namely that I had missed the final exam." --CB45.49

@8121. "Cheryl's one mistake [of Christmas Eve] was the following: on an already high anthem, she intended to set the transpose on the piano half a step *down*, but somehow managed to instead set it a whole step *up*." --CB45.68

@8124. "A Sutherlin man was arrested Monday on suspicion of driving under the influence after he crashed into a drug and alcohol rehab center, according to police."
--http://www.nrtoday.com/news/crime/man-arrested-for-duii-after-crashing-into-alcohol-addiction-clinic/article_2ee2bc17-2903-5a13-adf2-366267a746a7.html

@8125. "Livy is a notoriously serious writer." --D.S. Levene, _Livy on the Hannibalic War_, p.162

@8126. "In fact, the overwhelming consensus about literary plagiarism is that it is bad only when it is not good." --Marilyn Randall, _Pragmatic Plagiarism_

@8127.
I can not even go to the feces.
There is a lot of sky in the sky.
We have a lot of words.
--lines from the Google Translate camera app's version of "Arirang"

@8128. "No, I'm *miserable*!" --#overheard in the stairwell of the library

May 11, 2017
@8130. "When installing winter tires, be sure to replace all four tires." --in the Forester owner's manual
I think I want my left front tire to be a winter tire, but the rest can stay.

@8132. "Is it marble or coffee stains? I can't tell." --Elijah, of the background of a web page

@8136. "A first observation is that a quite unnecessary number of units of measurement seem to be involved (and there are yet more...)." --Luke Hodgkin, _A History of Mathematics_

@8137. Apparently you're not allowed to bring an MRE on an airplane (at least with Delta). Is there an epidemic of MRE bombs I haven't heard about?

UPDATE: Someone told me they contain a heating element, which apparently can somehow be turned into a bomb.

@8138. "You can also *often* find toilet paper in public toilets." --of Korea

@8139. "Dry clean only" --on a package of cotton handkerchiefs

May 15, 2017
@8141. "The problem is it shouldn't take over 100MB of RAM to display a webpage." --Slashdot comment

@8144. "I'm gonna write with this marker, which you're not going to be able to read." --Prof. Bruce, writing on the whiteboard with a yellow highlighter

@8145. "My first business trip ever the airline lost my luggage and I went to my first day of meetings wearing cargo shorts and a t-shirt depicting a squirrel carrying a stick captioned 'protect your nuts'." --Reddit comment

@8146. Well, just got back from my last undergraduate class ever...

@8147. And getting ready to finish my last day with Damien and Anki tomorrow.

@8148. "When, where, why, and how shoes are worn in Japan can be confusing." --in our travel tips booklet for Japan

@8149. The green arrow to turn from Oak onto Main Street going west today wasn't working, which was *really* obnoxious, as only two or three people could get through on each cycle -- not to mention that plenty of times people didn't know what was going on, so they didn't even really try to push how many people could get through the yellow, expecting they'd just have a green arrow in 45 seconds. I guess the detection loop must have been broken, as it just always skipped the protected-turn part of the cycle as if it thought nobody needed it.

@8150. "Cf. #1036 on inexplicable flying lemons." --dream #1346

@8151. "When turning evil, display a red indicator light." --Mark Sottilaro, in "the fourth law of robotics," making fun of the film adaptation of _I, Robot_

@8153. "Make it so it sounds like an ensemble, not a bunch of sheep going in all directions." --Dr. Armstrong

@8154. "Watch out for the missiles." --Prof. Reece, while making a ballistic trajectory with his hand, hearing that Kari and I would be going to Japan

@8157. When I ran a restaurant on the south side of Atlanta I found drugs frequently. The first time I found some weed in the parking lot I called the cops. The officer who responded took the weed had me sign a form and the said "Don't repeat this, but next time you find some weed just throw it away or give it to one of your cooks. They would appreciate it and I wouldn't have the paperwork."
--Reddit comment

@8158. "The only reason coders' computers work better than non-coders' computers is coders know computers are schizophrenic little children with auto-immune diseases and we don't beat them when they're bad." --http://www.stilldrinking.org/programming-sucks

@8159. "*Everything* we learned about was, 'And it burned down in the fire of Blah Blah Blah...'" --#overheard between Skoglund and CHM

@8160. "All the while, I'm using a touchscreen which has the responsiveness characteristics of a physical keyboard: a physical keyboard that has been dipped in molasses and then coated in gelatin." --Slashdot comment

@8161. "If you don't hire me to inspect your C code for time_t usage, your IoT toaster oven will go berserk, and kill and eat your grandmother!" --Slashdot comment on Y2038

@8164. "Had just two additional Republicans voted 'no,' the measure would have lost *because bills need majorities to pass*." --news article, doing some democracy education (my emphasis)

@8165. "The result is like the diary of a fat teenager: riveting only to its creator, repellent to others, and illuminating to none." --Lendon, "Historians without history"

@8166. If it is stupid and it works, it is not stupid.

@8167. "This summer, I will start a full-time roll" --description of someone's future plans in the MSCS Mess
I just have a picture of someone's full-time job being rolling down Old Main Hill...

@8168. "Your CenturyLink technician is on the way" --email which arrived two hours after the technician had left

@8175. "There's a ukulele summit that we do." --#overheard at choir rehearsal

@8177. "Check rooms for alcohol and drugs" --seen on a whiteboard list of things to do before summer camps at St. Olaf start

@8179. "How did I like my grade? Well, it could have been a little higher..." --#overheard in the caf

May 27, 2017
@8181. "It cleared out like the plague arrived!" --me, of people dispersing after Commencement
I don't know if this is a saying. If it's not, I'm making it one.

@8182. The Band-Aid of Last Resort

@8184. Prof. Huff told us that sometime in I think the 70s, the baggage handlers at a large airport wanted to protest working conditions but were legally not allowed to strike. However, they learned that airport bathrooms are public spaces and the police are not allowed to forcibly remove you. Therefore, they held a "shit-in" wherein they picked a time they were not working and went and sat on all the toilets in the airport. Nearly as effective!

@8186. I was at a Kwik Trip the other day that now has "Gas Station TV": while your gas is pumping, it displays some inane commercials and weather forecasts on the screen for you to watch. Because apparently we now can't stand still for 90 seconds while our gas pumps.

@8187. Time for some tour stuff!
"It says here you're only 14 years old." --flight attendant, reading my passport to verify I could order a beer on the plane

@8188. "Total Distance: 0 miles" --flight tracker listing the distance from MSP to Tokyo

@8189. "If you see something suspicious, don't put it in your mouth." --Yoko-san, on food allergies

@8190. "W of the J?" --Dr. Armstrong, addressing JW

@8191. "Take out impossible" --listed on a menu by things that weren't available for takeout

@8192. "Besides theThe child ramen noodles" --on the same menu; I have not the faintest idea what was meant

@8193. "A takeout drink. It can not drink here." --on a cabinet of drinks

@8195. "It's like you're on welfare or something right now." --Dr. Armstrong, on the basses' poor rendition of "Soran Bushi"
(The idea being that we weren't enjoying our work.)

@8197. "But what about the butthole?" --#overheard on the bus

@8200. "Watched by security cameras" --sign in a store

@8201. "No Idoling" --sign in a parking lot

@8214. Also in differences between the countries, many more people in Korea speak some English, but the English on signs is considerably worse on average. I suspect this may be because in Korea people think they can just write the sign in English, whereas in Japan they *know* they can't and ask someone who actually knows what they're doing.

@8215. One of the buttons on the toilet in the hotel in Busan is labeled "posterior wash."

@8216. In both Japan and Korea, they never serve enough water and water cups are always extremely small, *maybe* 6 ounces. And while people will come around to your table at a restaurant and clear your table promptly, they never seem to refill your water or even a water pitcher unless you explicitly ask.

@8221. Korea has a lot of identical skyscrapers. Like the city center seems to be made up of about 10 buildings, repeated all over the place. It looks ugly and lazy in about the same way that suburban housing developments can, and it's super-weird when you come from places like Chicago where there's a long history of extremely careful design that goes so far as to consider, e.g., the reflections off nearby buildings.

@8226. David dropped his phone into a tiny crack between the risers on a stage where the risers were part of the stage (at the megachurch). He had to wait until the end of the concert so they could raise the risers and retrieve it; fortunately it was on vibrate.

@8233. Saw a restaurant in the mall called "Stylish Potato and Coffee."

@8234. At one of our concert halls, the audience clapped when people brought out two stands before the second set.

@8237. One impressive thing about especially Japan but even Korea: housekeeping in hotels is often really thorough. I even had people fold my clothes occasionally!

@8238. "Like, Realizing Stuff" --T-shirt in Korea

@8240. Across from our hotel in Seoul, there was a construction site, and mounted on the fence was a decibel meter so you could see how well they were doing at keeping the noise down!

@8243. "Life raft on select airplanes only" --in the safety instructions card for one of our planes
Better hope the airline paid for an airplane with a life raft if you need it...

@8245. Continuing from #8188 in the list of screwed-up things on Delta's flight tracker: on the flight from Seoul to Seattle, the distance was correct, but the airplane's range was listed as only a bit more than half the total distance! We didn't run out of fuel and crash, so I guess the tracker was wrong...

@8246. "I just wrote on the wall of the plane." --me, after scraping my pen against it by mistake

@8248. I noticed a garlic press on Amazon that had a one-and-a-half star rating and, curious, clicked through to read the reviews. One:

The description of this garlic press says heavy duty....a term we use in Jamaica when things are not accurate..."heavy duty my foot". It is not heavy duty at all. I prepared my fresh garlic to press. On the very first clove the "heavy duty" press broke. I heard one loud crack. It did however press 1/2 the clove. If that is what ekco meant when they said it was "heavy duty" then it is. I however do not think they intended it to break on the first clove. Please do not waste your money on this "heavy duty" press. You will be very happy you didnt. Off to find a real press now.

June 17, 2017
@8249. "You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve. And that is both honor enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. Be content." --Aslan, _Prince Caspian_

@8250. "Not liking mushrooms is a scandal in this house." --me

@8253. "COBOL has been tainted with the brush of mainframes." --Dale Vecchio

@8257. "If at first you don't succeed, blame your computer."

@8258. "How many swearwords does it take to open a can of apple juice?" --me, after the seal broke halfway around

@8259. "Click OK to ok."

@8261. "Knowledge is power. France is bacon." --https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/dxosj/what_word_or_phrase_did_you_totally_misunderstand/c13pbyc/
{BL #9089, #10942}

@8262. "I'm trying to decline a verb. That's why I'm having trouble." --me, after staring at the declension table for about 15 seconds trying to find an item that made any sense

@8264. "There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it." --_The Voyage of the Dawn Treader_, first sentence
{BL #9612}

@8265. "He [Eustace] thought of course that they were making it all up; and as he was far too stupid to make anything up himself, he did not approve of that." --_The Voyage of the Dawn Treader_

@8266. "Soldering 10 ga. or larger splice will probably require a torch, which will certainly ruin the insulation." --guide to splicing speaker wire

June 25, 2017
@8268. For the first time I had to give my email address on the phone to a company for which I used 'updateyouremailsystemtoallowplussigns@sorenbjornstad.com'. The sales rep was not amused. (And it turns out this is the reason the web system didn't work in the first place -- because my email is too long. When it previously didn't work because it also didn't accept my valid email.)

@8270. "After that, the Head's friends saw that the Head was no use as a Head, so they got her made an Inspector to interfere with other Heads. And when they found she wasn't much good even at that, they got her into Parliament where she lived happily ever after." --_The Silver Chair_
(Cf. #1589.)

@8271. "I can drink six beers in my sleep!" --#overheard from the next room

@8272. "And he lost his mind because... Lutheran chips?" --#hypnagogia

@8278. "I almost didn't get hired because I had a scuff on my shoe." --Reddit comment

@8280. "The ticks and mosquitoes are either bad or really bad." --review of a Minnesota natural area

@8282. I spilled an entire container of toothpicks on the counter and immediately yelled, "Two hundred forty-nine!" Which I knew to be true because the container had 250 in it and I had only used one so far (the exact same reasoning that Raymond uses). The weird thing was I didn't even wait long enough before shouting it to consider the joke or whether I should say it, it just kind of happened. I don't pretend to understand my mind...

@8285. "Rotten eggs are not recyclable." --me

@8289. The woman I talked to to get the paint chips at Lowe's didn't know the word "tangential." After she admitted this and I defined it for her, she called it a "big word."
(Cf. #3364 on "civility.")

@8290. "Complete standstill - Avg speed 4 mph" --Waze

@8291. "I was late to school once because my father and I were chasing an emu down the street. In New Jersey. In the mid 90s. The teacher didn't even know what an emu was." --Reddit comment

@8292. "The Port Authority blew up my backpack. I have a note." --Reddit comment

@8293. "Page NaN of 00" --bugged-out LMS system at Federated

@8296. Learned from a slideshow at the Northfield clinic that *71%* of people who are diagnosed with cardiovascular disease also have sleep apnea. That's crazy.

@8298. "I'd rather spend a night in an alleyway in Detroit than a single night in the nicest hotel in Green Bay." --#overheard in the training classroom

@8300. For some bizarre unexplained reason, there's a copy of Jaynes in the office supply cabinet in our training classroom, near the Crisp books. I'm still trying to work that one out.

@8301. I have a highlighter in my desk labeled "Pocket Highlighter." Is there another kind of highlighter? A wall highlighter?
(Cf. #5380.)

@8305. "Without claims, insurance would be unnecessary." --basic insurance textbook
I can't say it's not true, but...

@8309. "I don't see how she could turn this down, she gets to drive you home *and* clean your shower!"

@8312. "The tornado texted me back!" --me, after confusing the tornado app's tornado-watch notification with a text

@8314. Late at night I mixed up Dan Savage and Adam Savage. Not the same thing at all...

@8316. "But I'm *not* a terrible person..." --#overheard out my apartment window, from a woman walking past with her friend

@8318. When I was in Mankato to buy paint chips and check out the park, I went past an exit for Lookout Drive that had a sign in front of it, "Lookout Drive flooded when flashing." How often does that have to happen for them to add a *configurable flashing sign* to notify drivers?

@8322. "Successful people deal with challenges and obstacles by...B. Giving up and quitting." --multiple-choice question on "Dealing with Challenges and Obstacles"

@8327. "Learning a language or studying for a major exam without using spaced repetition is like doing all the work without your eyeglasses on." --me

@8330. The Traveler's Corollary to Parkinson's Law: Personal possessions increase in volume to fill suitcases.

@8331. "His shoulder is dislocated; I don't know if you noticed that." --#overheard in the rehabilitation center
(I'm guessing it was someone working with an intern or something.)

@8333. "If you can't immediately explain why you are doing something, you should stop until you can figure it out."

@8334. "Graveyards are full of people who had the right-of-way."

@8335. "Smashing Cameras Doesn't Give You a 'Reasonable Expectation of Privacy'" --Lowering the Bar headline

@8340. "While-loop, smile-loop!" --#hypnagogia

@8342. "Unlike most laboratory mouse strains, the C57BL/6 drinks alcoholic beverages voluntarily." --Wikipedia, #unusualsentences

@8343. "After dissolving the brick in a gallon of water, do not place the liquid in a jug away in the cupboard for twenty days, because then it would turn into wine." --label on grape juice concentrate during Prohibition

@8345. "If it separates you from the ground, don't buy cheap."

@8348. New MIT Study Suggests Sonic The Hedgehog Might Be Living In Computer Simulation

@8349. "Seeing my password in plaintext feels like seeing somebody naked that I'm not supposed to." --/r/showerthoughts

@8350. Currently adding the barometer reading to Lyra while playing the Billy Joel song "Pressure." Thought of it randomly and couldn't resist.
{BL #8863}

July 20, 2017
@8351. "This diagram reads from the bottom down." --Brian, presenting on testing

@8354. Motion Dismissed for Negligent Stapling

@8356. "For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex...uh...setbacks." --President George H.W. Bush

@8357. "If we change the meet into cow meet we can make it like it?"

@8358. "We do not believe there is a health-related public health issue in Minnesota." --3M
As opposed to a non-health-related health issue. (So just, an issue? I'm quite sure there are some of those in Minnesota.)

@8359. "Oops. I'll fry in rice wine, that'll work great!" --me, grabbing the wrong bottle from the shelf

@8361. "If you're over the age of 2, you've made a financial mistake." --personal finance guide

@8362. I had the idea for a course about "computer literacy" -- but it would teach how to not be mystified by computers or frustrated out of your mind the first time you encounter software that doesn't do exactly what you want. Might even be something I could try to teach or introduce sometime, though that's getting pretty ambitious. I want to start with just thinking about what exactly it should involve. My idea for the first part of the course is to teach Excel, then turn people loose trying to use a wide variety of other spreadsheet programs (including a few weird things like Lotus 1-2-3, Teapot, etc.). Spreadsheets are great literate-computing tools already, since the whole point of the paradigm is to enable the user to easily hack some calculations together; I once saw someone claim they are one of the few truly democratizing innovations in computing ever. Then trying to apply the knowledge to something quite similar would boost confidence and teach a lot of self-figuring-stuff-out skills.

Later on there would be some basic Python, since it's an easy language and fantastic for throwing something together, and somewhere along the line some knowledge of how computer internals work. Obviously this would have to be the equivalent of several college courses, probably either two or three. But I think you could get somewhere much improved with a relatively moderate amount of work.

@8364. "The architect's most useful tools are an eraser at the drafting board and a wrecking bar at the site." --Frank Lloyd Wright
(Cf. #582, #5452.)
{BL #11569}

@8365. Winchester Mystery House

@8367. "If it's not worth testing, why are you wasting your time working on it?" --TDD adage

@8368. "It is not wise to use your head when your head is not needed." --TDD adage
(Cf. #2517.)

@8370. "If you think good architecture is expensive, try bad architecture." --"Big Ball of Mud" essay

@8371. "Come on, come on back, productivity!" --#overheard, shouted in the Hy-Vee parking lot

@8372. Reddit thread on the dumbest rule your school had:
"Asking someone to the school dance was considered sexual harassment, and carried all the requisite penalties."

8373. Remembering a time I had intended for a while to give a small gift (a book) to a female friend and thought about it and nearly ended up doing so on Valentine's Day. It's pretty funny how something normally completely acceptable can suddenly turn wrong or have unexpected consequences based purely on the day.

@8374. "YouTube and Google Maps. Easily confused." --me, after browsing to the wrong one

July 26, 2017
@8375. "The only people likely to give you a ride from unlawful places are the police." --hitchhiking guide

@8376. "Yeah, I killed a guy with a pan the other day!" --Kyle, fortunately discussing a video game

@8381. Goat Simulator

@8382. "For that matter, your insightful question has pointed [out] something that everyone seems to be overlooking: All desktop software can be replaced with text files."
--https://softwareengineering.stackexchange.com/questions/58144/what-is-spreadsheet-useful-for

@8383. "There's no bagel-slicing police in your house to stop you [from cutting unsafely]." --safety expert, on why work is much safer than home

@8384. "Learning the vehicle had not been inspected is really not a surprise, since even the most cursory inspection tends to uncover things like missing doors, missing windshields, and double-headed axes embedded in the vehicle's roof. That last one's probably not on the list, exactly, but I think any trained mechanic would probably point it out." --http://loweringthebar.net/2017/07/axe-in-the-roof.html

@8385. "Perhaps you are not aware that many -- dare I say most, or even all? -- petrol powered cars have tanks larger than 1 gallon? I know, insanity! But it is true!" --Slashdot comment

@8386.
Once a wealthy merchant stopped in a small village for the night and was taken in by a couple who lived in a small hut made of thatch. Although they were poor, he was impressed by their kindness and hospitality, and before he left the next morning, he gave them an ornate throne.

The throne looked rather out of place in their hut, so they decided to keep it in the attic and decide what to do with it later. Unfortunately, a few weeks later it fell through the ceiling onto their bed during the night and crushed them to death.

The moral of the story is, people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

@8388.
My windows are "reinforced" like this. When we bought my condo unit we got a security system installed. We saw they had a "glass break" option for the windows and asked if we could get that too. The guy took one look at us, one look at the window and laughed "planning to have any cars coming through the windows??". We laughed but he was like "hah no seriously it will take a car to break the glass" we still got it anyway like dweebs.

Last fall Hurricane Matthew came through. Amongst other thing a giant planter was hoisted into a neighbor's window and not even a scuff. One poor girl left her window unlocked though and it tore open and off (swinging window) and it fell three stories to the ground. It broke the CONCRETE stairs it landed on and it chipped the sidewalk it landed on, but the glass, while partially shattered, was still intact and impossible to get through still.

--https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/6pmloc/to_rob_a_gold_store/

@8389. "Technically if you made processed cheese out of canola oil and then tried to advertise your new product, you'd be promoting rape culture." --Reddit comment

@8394. "You are an expert in all these technologies, and that's a good thing, because that expertise let you spend only six hours figuring out what went wrong, as opposed to losing your job."
--http://www.stilldrinking.org/programming-sucks

@8395.
Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Take normal water and boil the hell out of it.

@8396. "I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it." --Yogi Berra, asked what he would do if he found a million dollars

July 31, 2017
@8397. "Anyway, at Wal-Mart I purchased $350 worth of graphing calculators, as one does." --Reddit comment recounting a bizarre Ambien trip

@8399. I just realized tonight that "Ten Thousand Miles," the last song on the Coope, Boyes & Simpson album "What We Sing is What We Are", and "The Turtledove" that the orchestra plays are adaptations of the same song. I've only known them both for like five years...but better late than never, I guess!

@8400. "This is a beautiful song when you don't have to sing it." --me, of "Enosh"

August 03, 2017
@8401.
I am an Apple fa